Forcibly United
by Gaming Ikari
Summary: Bound together by magical bracers, Ranma and Ryouga must go to Roanapur to fix the problem. Unfortunately for them, they'll need money to do it, and they're forced to find work in the city of Roanapur or be stuck together forever!
1. Chapter 1

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 1

oOo

Bone snapped on flesh as two martial artists clashed, exchanging blows and bouncing around the Tendou dojo with a manic energy not shared by the rest of the household, still shaking off the sleep in the dawn light. Ranma grinned as he slipped his head past his father's fist, sliding a foot in between his father's legs and lashing out with a vicious shoulder ram to the elder Saotome's solar plexus. The blow stunned him long enough for Ranma to sweep the older man onto his back, not releasing his grip on the man's dogi and rolling over him to send his father into the koi pond.

"Breakfast!" A light voice called from the kitchen as Kasumi walked into the dining room. A tray of lightly cooked fish and seven bowls of rice pulled the father and son from their melee into the house with all the haste their battered bodies could produce. Ranma ignored the panda thrashing it's way out of a tattered white training outfit, opting to quickly sit next to his uncute fiancée.

Quiet bickering slowly transformed into loud arguing as Ranma defended his decision to eat before a morning bath with sharp retorts. Only the desire to pause and savor the honey and lemon glaze blunted his quips and prevented the argument from escalating.

All in all, it was a rather normal morning for the Tendou household and it's permanent house guests. Akane and Ranma were verbally clashing, the pigtailed boy falling into the comforting familiarity of the routine to avoid the topic of the aborted wedding. Nabiki quietly jotted down notes in her small black notebook. Genma and Soun chatted quietly, the latter reading the small wooden signs the former used to communicate. Kasumi hummed quietly to herself, serenely occasionally refilling rice bowls between bites with practiced ease.

Only the diminutive pervert sitting on the dojo rooftop faced the day with change in mind. Happosai stared grimly at the happy family as he seethed, furious with the young pig-tailed man. The little upstart. The brat had gotten a lot more uppity after coming back from Jusendo. So what if he'd beaten up that little fire bird? That would have been child's play! He had no right to show such constant disrespect!

He'd refused Happosai's training last week. Refused it!

Happosai muttered darkly in an ancient tongue as he toyed with Bracers of Jian. A pair of Chinese silver armguards trimmed with jade, they were designed to control any creature with a simple spell. Upon the completion of the spell, the two bracers would hurl from their place on Happosai's lap to fly towards Ranma, each wrapping around one of his arms and binding the pigtailed martial artist to Happosai's will.

Then he could make the boy a proper heir, starting with teaching the young upstart a proper respect for the silky darlings all around him. Ranma had more than enough speed and skill to pilfer them from the weak girls that surrounded him; he even had the chi control to harness all of that lovely female energy almost as well as Happosai himself!

It was just criminal for the heir to the Anything Goes school not to take advantage of his skills!

Happosai's attention was only briefly divided as he noted the pigtail boy's rival landing on the shingled top of the compound's wall. The ancient lecher turned his attention back to the spell. The appearance of the boy would only serve to make capturing Ranma easier.

"Ranma! Come out here and fight me like a man!" Ryouga called, tossing his pack inside as he cracked his fists. Ranma immediately got up from his position at the table, striding out from the dining room to stand on the edge of the porch, casually taking another mouthful of rice as his eyes measured his foe. The fanged brawler didn't appear any different, though painful experience had taught the blue-eyed youth that appearances meant little.

"You're sounding pretty confident, P-chan," Ranma noted with a grin, setting down the bowl on the edge of the porch as he stepped off the porch. He cocked his head to the side. "Let me guess, did you pick up a new technique while you were trying to find the bathroom?"

"Shut up, Ranma! I don't need a new technique to deal with you!" With a wordless battle cry, the Lost Boy launched himself from the wall and leveled a devastating kick at his foe, already slipping around the attack and positioning himself to counter. He danced over Ranma's retaliatory sweep, throwing a punch which Ranma barely managed to intercept with his left hand.

Ranma bounced back, once again evaluating his foe. That punch had been far quicker than anything he'd ever seen from the brown-eyed boy. It actually approached the speed he'd gained when he'd first trained to use the Amaguriken. Sure, pork-butt had been able to keep up with Ranma, but speed had always been his edge.

"Your speed's gotten a lot better, pork breath," Ranma noted, wincing as he tried not to rub the palm of his left hand with his right. Not only was Ryouga fast, he'd retained all of his freakish strength, too. The combination didn't seem fair to the long-haired youth. "Let me guess, you happened to have a bag of chestnuts with you one day when you were camping in the Arctic."

"I figured if an idiot like you could benefit from the technique, I could too!" Ryouga spat as he confidently advanced on his rival. Ranma decided to take the fight to his foe, throwing himself into a forward roll which allowed him to vault skyward over the Lost Boy. Briefly confused by the sudden change in his foe's altitude, Ranma planted his feet on the young man's face as he paused, climbing higher into the air as he knocked his rival off-balance.

"Moko Takabisha!" With a grin, Ranma used his own chi to simultaneously blast Ryouga and gain enough altitude to reach the top of the house, where he casually turned to watch the stocky young man furrow a trench in the ground. Ryouga struck the solid wall of the dojo before he shook the dirt from his clothes and leaped up after Ranma.

Happosai completed his spell just as Ryouga got into grappling range with his pigtailed opponent. Speed he'd previously lacked combined with his foe's unadjusted perception of his fighting style allowed him grab a fistful of red shirt before the blue-eyed boy could maintain his distance. Ranma gripped the bandanna-clad boy's arm, cocking back an arm aimed squarely for the bandana-clad boy's jaw as he flinched. The Anything Goes fighter knew who would win a blow-for-blow slugging match.

The two bracers rose from the pervert's lap with the sound of a deep gong, speeding directly towards Ranma's wrists in a blur of flashing silver and green. One bracer struck true, wrapping itself snugly around Ranma's cocked-back right forearm with the abrupt speed of a boa constrictor. The other flew towards Ranma's left arm but found itself intercepted by Ryouga's right. The bracer writhed with fury as if the offending limb had chosen to block the spell, then suddenly wrapped itself around the fanged boy's forearm as if fed up with trying to bypass the obstacle.

Both boys became as still as a photo, staring blankly at the new decorations on their arms. After a moment of confused silence, they became aware of the close contact they shared and broke apart with a mutually violent thrash. Ryouga's feet scattered roofing tiles as he fought momentum's determination to pitch him onto his back, finally sliding to a stop a short distance away. Ranma opted to allow momentum to do his work, briefly planting his hands and flexing his abdominal muscles to handspring to his feet.

The two boys kept their attention focused on one another, cautious habit overriding idle curiosity. The bracers hadn't hurt and didn't seem to have any effect, making them a distant second on the list of their priorities. The wary silence stretched as they slowly reigned in their animosity.

"What the hell is this, Ranma?" Ryouga finally growled, roiling eyes flickering only briefly to take in the armour on his arm before snapping back to his enemy, as if the split second of inattention had given the arrogant youth the chance to attack.

Which could have been true, given their mastery of hand-to-hand combat. Few martial artists in the world could have acknowledged the twitch of the teen's eyes as an opportunity. Of those few capable of seeing it as such, only a very small fraction possessed the speed and skill to take advantage of the opening. Both boys were well aware that the minuscule disparity in their prowess had seen their fights ended by such a lapse.

"Like I know anything about what goes on around here before it bites me in the ass..." Ranma grumbled, finally dropping his guard as he turned his attention to the strange bracer binding his arm. Pulling at the metal in an attempt to remove it, his apprehension grew by the second as the resolute object refused to be dislodged. While he could slide the thing up or down the length of his arm a bit, an invisible force prevented it from moving beyond. Ranma twisted, falling on his back and placing his feet on the upturned edge near his elbow as he tried to force it off. Though he felt no counterforce on his hand, the thing simply wouldn't move.

Likewise, Ryouga found with a perplexed rage that the metal would only lift half an inch or so from his skin before totally resisting all attempts to rise further. He strained his powerful arms, wrenching the bracer this way and that in an attempt to simply tear it off of his arm. Force that would have torn steel like diaphanous silk proved useless against the stubborn protective gear.

He paused in his struggles, reaching for his inner harmony as he forced himself to abandon his rage. The receding heat brought clarity to his thought. He became one with the world, intimately aware of the hidden flaws in the same way he knew his own weaknesses. His eyes snapped open, thousands of pinpricks of light overlaying his vision.

Here, the spot in which the slightest pressure would shatter the rocks surrounding the koi pond and rain pebbles on the grass. There, a web of light which showed where he could turn the ground into a series of deep craters, the lightest flick of his finger displacing hundreds of pounds of dirt. Even Ranma's clothes shone with lights which would disintegrate them where they lay on Ranma's body. The fanged boy filed the idea in the back of his mind for another time.

His eyes fell to the device on his right arm. Nothing. Every inch was flawless, granting the thing immunity to the Bakusai Tenketsu's potent effect. The one wrapped around Ranma's right arm likewise showed no pinpricks of light which would render it defenseless. The technique wasn't a way to remove the bonds.

"Oh, stop struggling, boy!" Happosai called, voice tinged with glee matched only by the deep creases in his face. He landed beside the pair and paused to examine the heir to his school, ignoring the slowly growing anger in the pair's every twitch. His plans hadn't quite worked out, but the impudent whelp had been caught by one of the Bracers, at least. He even had a second pawn to control. Endless possibilities overwhelmed him and he randomly plucked one to confirm the magic worked. "Do me a favor and go steal Kasumi's panties for me, would you?"

For a horrible moment, both Ranma and Ryouga were gripped with an irresistible need to do precisely that. Both boys felt their traitorous legs move a step towards the edge of the roof when they mastered the unnatural urge, fighting off the magically induced control through a torrent of righteous anger. They stopped as one, the heel of their other foot barely rising from the roof before they turned to glare at the source of the order.

While neither boy could be described as overly intelligent, both could figure out the source of the bracers if they were actually compelled to listen to the old pervert standing next to them. A rage which had nothing to do with one another finally overwhelmed their self control.

This bastard had nearly caused them to commit the unforgivable act of laying hands on the gentle soul who had always spoken almost nothing but gentle words. This freak had tried to steal their free will through otherworldly magic. Finally, in the most evil of crimes, the irredeemable scum had instilled a desire which could have resulted in them being barred from Kasumi's cooking.

Nothing but violence would satisfy their wrath.

In a bizarre display of synchronized martial arts mayhem, both boys lashed out with their feet, mirror images stomping the ancient lecher into the ground and grinding his face into the tiles until the old man was gagging on chunks of clay. Ryouga bent down before the ancient master could recover, holding him at arm's length with one hand, steely fingers wrapped around weathered neck. Ranma grinned at Ryouga in a rare display of camaraderie.

"You can do the honors, Ryouga," Ranma said, accepting the stunned old man and holding him lightly by the scruff of his shirt. Ryouga bent low, left leg balancing while his right leg swept back, then lashed back towards the stunned old man. The kick struck with a thud which echoed across the skyline, sending the old pervert up to kiss the clouds before he disappeared into the distance.

Ranma raised his forearm, rattling the chains. "Now we've gotta figure out what the heck these things are."

Without a further word, the pigtailed young man then jumped off the roof, intent on the Cat Café. Halfway through Ranma's first leap, the Lost Boy was tugged sharply from his position by the bracer on his right arm. He stumbled for two paces before getting his foot down, planting himself firmly and refusing to allow the invisible pull to move him another inch.

At the same time Ranma's arm was caught in an unseen fist, right limb snapping out behind him then stubbornly halting his lateral momentum, his body swinging parallel to the ground before gravity reasserted her inexorable claim, pulling the wide-eyed fighter to the ground. A grunt and a loud thud punctuated the abrupt end which left the dazed young man staring up at the sky.

"Damn it, what the hell was that?" Ryouga demanded, leaping to the ground next to his sprawled rival, kneeling to grab the pigtailed boy by his braided mane and haul him to his feet. He gestured wildly, trying to indicate that invisible push in vain before giving up in frustration. Brown eyes bored stonily into slightly-concussed blue. "Why was I yanked all of a sudden!?"

"You're pretty thick if you think I've got anything more about this than you!" Ranma retorted, slapping Ryouga's wrist and breaking the grip on his shirt. With a disgruntled huff he tugged the wrinkles out of the red silk, examining the armguard girding his forearm only after the indignity to his clothes had been reversed. He didn't blink as he shook the thing, thinking. Clearly whatever had happened had something to do with the bracers. He gestured to his left. "Okay, you stay here. I'm going to walk over that way."

As Ranma walked he noted a slight resistance, but it was nothing he would have noticed unless he was focusing on his right arm. When he got thirty feet away from Ryouga, the resistance increased to the point where the only way he could continue was by dragging his unintentional partner along with him, straining against the air as if he were actually shoving Ryouga from behind. He stopped, holding his arm out and leaning slightly, rotating the limb this way and that as he tried to feel for any weakness or difference. Thirty feet behind, Ryouga's arm mimicked the moves in a rough, jerky manner.

It then occurred to the yellow-clad boy that if Ranma could force his arm to move, the reverse was also true. He firmly planted his feet and leaned back just a bit, Ranma unconsciously leaning forward to compensate. Tension hummed in the pull of the magic joining them. Ryouga grinned, then yanked his arm back with all of his impressive strength. His arm quickly snapped back.

Thirty feet away, Ranma punch himself in the face with strength he knew he could never muster himself, stars flashing in his eyes as he wondered what the hell had happened. The chuckling of the fanged boy behind him told him all he needed to know.

"What'd you do that for!?" Ranma demanded, spinning in place to toss a glare across the distance, getting only an evil grin in response. The pigtailed boy scowled, frustration prodding him to hurl himself at the cause of his throbbing nose, getting in a good kick which tossed the unprepared Lost Boy in the air.

"What are you two fighting about now?" Akane spat from the porch, her presence completely unnoticed to the duo until that moment.

Time seemed to slow for Ryouga as he realized he was headed for the koi pond, as Akane's eyes tracing his graceless arc through the air. Ranma seemed to realize the problem as well as Ryouga's body briefly rose up, showing the pool of water which lay beyond. He tried to race forward to help, but knew he was moving too slowly.

Ryouga tried to twist out of the way, to redirect his flight, but he lacked the mastery of mid-air combat which was the Saotome specialty. He landed in the water as time froze, shutting his eyes and cringing as he prepared for death in the form of a mallet. Ryouga dreaded the coming fury more than he'd ever feared Saffron or Lime.

He waited, holding his breath. Death never came.

"Honestly Ranma, now Ryouga's wet! It's a good thing he doesn't have a Jusenkyou curse!" Akane declared, shooting her fiancé a dirty look.

"I don't have a Jusenkyou curse?" Ryouga muttered to himself, finally daring to spread his eyelids, watching Akane spin and walk away as a soul cleansing wave of relief washed away the last traces of mortal terror, quickly igniting a fierce joy in his heart. He grinned to himself, reveling in the alien sensation of cold water soaking his human body as he jumped to his feet, throwing his arms wide. "I don't have a Jusenkyou curse!"

"We're cured!?" Ranma exclaimed, running and jumping into the koi pond, ignoring the dirty look the fish gave their unwelcome, oft-visiting house guest. These days he almost always remembered to scoop any of the residents back into their home before their flops and gasps turned feeble. Ranma likewise reveled in the sensation of cold water, as it washed over him completely, running down in rivulets over the curve of her breasts. Ranma glared down at her bustline, as if the hate in the look could squish the soft mounds flat. "Ah, man! Why only pork breath!?"

"Shut up, Ranma!" Ryouga yelled, slugging the diminutive red-head out of the pond before stepping out himself. He grinned as he peered down at his cold, human body. No more random transformations. No more being a potential meal ticket for hungry animals or people. No more defenseless piglet haunting the clouds and puddles and myriad other sources of cold liquids! He stood in frank disbelief, wondering why fortune finally smiled his way.

"Alright, let's go see the old ghoul," Ranma finally grumbled, having retrieved the brass tea kettle Kasumi always kept warm from the it's place in the kitchen. She poured the heated water over her head, smiling as she felt the change return her to her male form and regained the ability to look her rival levelly in the eyes.

No doubt the old woman would be able to help out with the problem.

oOo

Cologne only spent a few minutes humming and muttering soft Mandarin to herself after Ranma and Ryouga arrived at her restaurant, her eyes suddenly doubling in size before she pogo-bounced up the stairs clasping the head of her cane. She returned with an open book, which she dropped on an unoccupied table with a thud as she faced the blue-eyed youth.

"Son-in-law, it would appear you are indeed in some trouble this time," Cologne concluded, warily glancing at the bracers on Ranma and Ryouga's arms. She tapped Ranma's armguard with the narrow point of her staff, as if touching the magical artifact with her bare hands would soil her. "Those two bracers are meant to work in tandem against one foe, putting the victim totally under the spell caster's control."

"I noticed that we started to do something Happosai wanted us to do after the chains wrapped around our arms," Ryouga noted, subdued. So far, Cologne had only confirmed their suspicions, not granted them any new information. Ryouga gestured to the chain on his right arm. "I've got a question, Granny. How come when Ranma gets splashed he changes, but I get to stay as a human?"

"A good question, but simply answered," She gestured to Ranma and flung a glass of cold water in the boy's face, examining him as he lost about six inches of his height and gained significant mass on her chest, her black hair shimmering into a familiar vibrant red. Ranma sputtered as she glared at the old woman. "As you can see, Son-in-law here doesn't change his basic form, just the finer points associated with his gender. The spell on these devices probably allows it because he still has the arm in that form. With you..."

"He's got no arms, so it wouldn't have anywhere to go," Ranma finished, examining her own cuffed forearm. She shrugged, dropping her right arm. "So what do we gotta do to get these damned things off?"

"Again, it should be simple. Just get the one who cast the spell to use the appropriate counter-spell on the armguards and they should drop right off you. Though where could that old fool have acquired Bracers of Jian at all?" Cologne's gaze was curious as she examined the metal and jade linking the two foes together. "I was given to understand they hadn't been seen in this world for over two hundred years."

"Probably stole it from somewhere!" Ranma spat, glaring out the door. She shrugged, noting Cologne was nodding. "It's not really a surprise. He seem to steal a lot of magical junk."

"So, all we have to do is get Happosai to use the counter-spell and it will free us?" Ryouga asked, cracking his knuckles eagerly as he considered the thought. Pounding on the old bastard was going to be almost as fun as pounding on Ranma. "We should be able to beat it out of him no problem."

"Well, I wish you boys luck," Cologne finished, giving their arms one last look before beginning to pogo over to the kitchen. She paused on her second bounce, looking back over her shoulder to take in both boys with a measured look. "Keep in mind that if you don't get the counter-spell off Happosai, you two may very well be stuck that way."

"Stuck with bacon breath forever?" Ranma muttered, glaring at his rival with a scowl. She scratched her chin, considering. "I've been stuck with him for an hour and I'm annoyed."

"Like you're any better, Ranma!" Ryouga countered, poking a finger into the pigtailed girl's face. He then smirked. "The only bright side to this is I get to make sure you can't take advantage of poor Akane's trust!"

"Shut up, P-chan!" Ranma growled. She moved as if to strike her rival before stopping, almost shuddering as she mastered the urge to start another fight. Finally she grinned. "Look, we're stuck like this and neither of us especially like it. Either we work together, or we get to stay together forever. I'll kick your ass when these things are off!"

Ranma extended her unbound hand.

"Fine, Ranma," Ryouga admitted, taking Ranma's hand with his own free hand and squeezing. Hard. Ranma and Ryouga stayed locked that way for a moment, neither giving ground as they crushed the air between their fists. Ranma mastered the urge to wince as the grip continued until finally the clasp ended. Ryouga smirked. "Though I'm going to be the one to win when these chains are off!"

"Come on!" Ranma said, leading Ryouga out of the restaurant after getting a splash of hot water from the kitchen. They both jumped up to the rooftops, eyes scanning for the signs of Happosai's daily rampage among Nerima's young women.

They both had a pervert to beat.

oOo

"Sweeto!" Happosai's battle cry gave the girls only moments of notice before he was among them, quick, agile hands copping feels and removing the smothering garments the young ladies were forced to wear. His bag quickly grew in size as he rampaged through the girls on their gym period, grinning as he stood on the wall of the school.

Life was good. While his plans this morning had gone more than slightly awry, it was a temporary setback at best. He had plenty more tricks up his sleeve to make Genma's upstart son more pliable as a student, so it was only a matter of time before the skills he possessed would be passed on to the newest generation.

"Now, where did you get the Bracers of Jian?" Cologne's voice asked from his left, and Happosai turned to face the woman who'd haunted him since he'd been a wet-nosed young punk. He grinned.

"Just something I happened to have laying around," Happosai dismissed, waving his hand. He hopped away from the wall, consequently avoiding the hail of improvised weapons thrown by Furinkan's female gym class.

"Well, it's certainly caused quite the problem," Cologne admitted as she shadowed his leap, alighted on a nearby roof next to him. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the man responsible for most of the trouble in her life. "Those two young boys are quite irritated with you. A side effect of your little spell is that they're forced to stay together by the magic in the bracers. Were you aware of that?"

"I'm not sure I care," Happosai shrugged, lighting his pipe as he reclined on his newest bag of treasures. He gestured to Cologne with a dark smile. "The upstart whelp isn't strong enough to take me on yet."

"You sound so certain of that," Cologne mused, gesturing down a road to where Ranma and Ryouga were bounding towards them. Even at this distance, Cologne could make out the grim determination on both boys' faces as they closed with their target. "Well, you're going to find out shortly, Happi."

The old pervert glared in their direction, taking another drag of tobacco from his pipe. So, he'd have to deal with both of them. That wasn't going to be a problem.

oOo

"Ryouga, I'll go high! You take him from below!" Ranma bellowed as he and Ryouga raced along the street next to the canal, already forming a plan which would allow them to quickly and efficiently take down Happosai. The Lost Boy grimaced at taking orders from his rival but saw nothing wrong with the plan. He charged forward with even more speed. Ranma thrust his feet below him, aiming for the rooftops so he could get the height he needed to attack the old lecher from above.

Several things happened as he jumped:

Ryouga scarcely felt the tug as Ranma reached the apex of what the bracer around his right arm would allow, cutting short any possibility of gaining the rooftop, let alone attacking Happosai from above. As Ranma realized this, Ryouga's increased speed jerked Ranma forward as they again reached the distance limit, causing Ranma to tumble along the ground past a startled Ryouga. His forward momentum was cut brutally short as he plowed noisily into a dumpster.

Ryouga continued running in a daze, trying to process the events which had just occurred. His own speed was cut down to a lurching stop a few steps later as he reached his limit away from a groaning Ranma, who was once again slammed into the dumpster with bone-jarring force. Ryouga found himself stunned and lying on the ground trying to figure out what had just happened, still confused about how Ranma had been bouncing along the ground ahead of him.

"Impressive boys, impressive. I'm just wondering... What did that dumpster ever do to you?" Happosai pointed at the damaged trash receptacle, which now showcased an impressive pair of dents suspiciously formed like the pigtailed-boy's face.

"Shut up, you old goat," Ranma growled, stumbling to his feet and shaking off the impressive blows he'd just been dealt. He pointed at the ancient pervert. "Just get rid of these damned guantlets already!"

"Go jump in the canal!" Happosai retorted, grinning to himself as he saw Ranma take two steps to do just that before stopping, instead intensifying his glare towards the Grand Master of his school. Happosai tapped the ashes out of his pipe, his gaze darting from Ranma to Ryouga and back. "Do you two youngsters really think you can handle me?"

"Die, old man!" Ryouga responded, charging at Happosai with his umbrella. Ranma, prepared for his partner's reckless charge, managed to avoid slamming into the dumpster for a third time by flipping over it and moving to provide back-up.

Happosai dodged a thrust of Ryouga's umbrella, only to be forced to jump and twist out of the way of Ranma's follow up flying leap. Ryouga's follow up roundhouse tagged the diminutive lecher, and he was finally hit solidly by hundreds of punches at Amaguriken speeds as Ranma regained his footing. Stunned, Happosai lashed out with his pipe, sending Ranma skittering across the pavement. Ryouga's follow up punch was spoiled as Ranma's distance increased to their limit, pulling him at the same speed.

Ranma, then Ryouga crashed into the fence separating the street from the canal, twisting the fencing and causing it to dip out over the water.

"Damn it, Ranma! I nearly had him until you got hit!" Ryouga sneered, pulling himself upright thanks to a broken piece of the fence jutting out in front of him. Ranma merely scowled as he pulled his trapped foot out of where it had punched through the linked chain of the fence.

"Look bacon bits, we can't afford to get in each other's way here," Ranma said, brushing the dust off of his clothes. "The old perv's too good for us to screw up."

"Then stop screwing up, Ranma!" Ryouga yelled, once again charging Happosai. Ranma groaned and ran, keeping pace with the bandanna-clad boy as they once again raced towards their foe. Ranma stopped short of their target, letting loose a point blank Moko Takabisha which blazed right by Ryouga's head to strike Happosai squarely in the face.

Stunned, his eyes came into focus to find Ryouga driving in a right cross which promised to hurt if it connected.

"Stop!" Happosai pleaded, grinning as Ryouga's fist instantly halted in mid-strike. Too busy gloating, Happosai was unable to see Ranma's descending foot until it had already snapped across his forehead, sending him tumbling back into a property wall.

"Ryouga, even if he tries to control us with these stupid things, his commands don't work if we can't do anything about 'em! Use your bandannas!" Ranma launched himself into a small leap, shattering the wall Happosai had been slumped against as the old man rolled underneath his heir.

Ryouga nodded to himself, filling the air with whirling black and yellow cloth which forced the old pervert to dance wildly. Ranma recovered from his missed strike, launching some chi blasts of his own towards Happosai, creating a crossfire the old master was hard pressed to escape, let alone avoid. Cries to stop went largely unheeded, the projectiles already in the air by the time his cries reached the boys' ears.

One of Ryouga's razor-like bandannas finally cut through Happosai's twisting defense, causing the old master to twist into one of Ranma's chi blasts, rocketing the old man towards the Lost Boy. The fanged boy grinned as he drove his umbrella directly into Happosai's body, almost feeling pity at the crunch the move caused as he drove his foe towards Ranma. Ranma slammed the old man into the ground, allowing Ryouga to follow up with another strike which pushed the old man further into the ground.

"Alright old man, talk!" Ranma growled, as Ryouga twisted the umbrella a bit, grinding the old man against the crushed pavement. He flailed, cried, and pleaded for the boys to let him up before realizing that the force keeping him pinned to the ground was not Ryouga's easily-influenced strength, but instead that ludicrously heavy umbrella and his own lack of leverage.

"Fine, boys... You got me, this time. Those two are the Bracers of Jian," Happosai admitted, gesturing to the chain on Ranma's right arm. "They're the magic of a Chinese Goddess of Love herself, and quite hard to break. They usually give the caster of the binding spell total control over the subject, but that appears to have failed."

"We don't care about that! Just tell us how to get these damned things off!" Ryouga yelled, kicking the old man for good measure. He'd been attached to Ranma for nearly an hour and already it was getting tiresome.

"I don't know how," Happosai said, wincing as Ranma and Ryouga's eyes both darkened. He raised a finger to his chin, scratching as he narrowed his eyes in thought. "In fact, you two might just be stuck that way unless you can find another way of getting them off!"

"WHAT!?" Both boys screamed simultaneously, staring down at the diminutive pervert with incredulity. While Ryouga contented himself to growling and pressing the old man into the ground with his umbrella, Ranma searched for his voice, eventually finding it.

"No way! How the hell did you plan to get them off of me, then!?" Ranma demanded, leaning down and grabbing the front of the old man's shirt.

"I should be able to just tell them to come off," Happosai admitted, then shrugged. "Unfortunately, it takes a minute or two for the clasps to loosen and the commands I've been giving you last for the less than a second. Here, I'll even show you! Take off your bracers, boys!"

To the boys' growing horror, they discovered he was right. At his words, the clasps holding the bracers on their arms twitched open for a moment before settling back down into place. Ranma ignored Happosai at that point, grasping the clasp and tugging it, trying to take the armguard off but finding them just as irremovable as before.

"Then what do we need you for?" Ryouga growled, removing his umbrella as he considered the idea of spending the rest of his life bound to Ranma. His mood sunk as he considered the idea of having to deal with Ranma's various fiancées. It hit rock bottom and began to dig as he thought about having to watch Ranma and Akane together for the rest of his life. He pointed one hand at Happosai. "Shi Shi Hokodan!"

The pervert was blasted directly into the ground, unconscious.

"Come on, Ryouga. Let's go talk to the old ghoul again," Ranma finally sighed with grim determination as he scowled down at the limp pervert. "She might know something else we can try."

oOo

Author's Notes (kinda long):

Alright, this story originally began as "A Duet of Fists". Same premise: Ranma and Ryouga magically handcuffed together and then sent off, just the two of them, to go figure out a way to sort the mess out while I get to write awesome fight scenes. Then I threw away the great, actiony beginning and just sank into a plodding, paceless pool of crap. Go ahead and give it a read for a tutorial on how NOT to pace your story and how NOT to introduce likeable original characters.

Anyway, the story then sat for two years while I tried, and failed, to come up with something to use with the awesome idea of Ranma and Ryouga essentially handcuffed together. I even had some interdimensional travel thing which could have been used as a vehicle for a lot of crossovers had I not pissed everything away with poor pacing and a terrible plot.

Maz goes in original fiction, now. He only gets introduced to the Ranma cast if I ever get famous, produce a work with him, then secretly write crossover fanfiction with my own work. Which would be like, recursive geekiness or something. Either way, he's not going to be anywhere near this story.

The reason it's a Black Lagoon crossover is because I was reading a review Eromancer wrote saying that, basically, he would worship me forever if I wrote a Black Lagoon fic. Being an asshole, I PMed him to taunt him with a few ideas of what I could do with a Black Lagoon crossover before stating that, sadly, I wouldn't be able to do one for at least a few months. By sheer happenstance, I happened to have my file for A Duet of Fists open.

I then said to myself, "Ranma and Ryouga running around in Roanapur? That'd be awesome!" After a moment I then said, "I could have done that with THIS story if it didn't suck! It would have been great!" That was followed by "Wait, I can just make this story NOT suck! I'm awesome!" I concluded it with, "I love proving myself wrong to people, so get yourself open, OpenOffice!"

Thank Eromancer for this. Or, if you liked A Duet of Fists and are pissed it's never going to be continued as it was, _blame _him. Either way, the boys'll be in Roanapur and mixing it up with the Black Lagoon cast by the end of the next chapter, which should be up within a day or two at the most.


	2. Chapter 2

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 2

oOo

"So you're back, Son-in-law," Cologne noted as Ranma entered the Cat Café, poking her head out of the kitchen. She smiled, hopping out of the kitchen and coming to rest on a nearby table as she examined the boys. "And I see you still have those bracers on you. Happosai chose not to release you?"

"More like he couldn't," Ranma snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. He rattled the armguard where it rested against his wrist. "According to what he told us, he should be able to just tell us to take off the things for 'em to stop working. But because we're only momentarily effected by his orders, they don't finish coming off before the order gets ignored."

"I see," Cologne stated, shaking her head. Of course the fool had messed things up. It was par for the course as far as the old wretch was concerned.

"Isn't there anything you can do, Granny?" Ryouga pleaded, waving a hand towards Ranma. "I don't want to get stuck with this jerk the rest of my life!"

"Like I want it either," Ranma snorted, turning his head away from his rival.

"I suppose the only way for you to remove those chains would be to journey to the home of one who has the power to remove them forcibly," Cologne finally said. She jabbed the point of her staff at the bracer on Ryouga's arm. "I have a colleague who could remove those easily enough... Though it will be up to the two of you to convince him to take the bracers off."

"Great! Let's get going, then!" Ranma cheered, pushing off the wall as he walked to the table where Cologne stood.

"Not so fast, Son-in-law," Cologne countered. "I'll need to write a letter to a friend in Roanapur to see if my colleague is still living there. It will take roughly a week for the letter to arrive and for her to give me a phone call."

"I have to spend a week with him??" Ryouga demanded, his stomach flopping as he considered the idea of having to endure the pigtailed boy's presence for a solid week. Ranma's face froze as a similar realization overcame him as well.

"One week," Cologne confirmed. She couldn't help but smile to herself.

The two boys turned to face one another. Their truce had barely held for an hour and a half... and now they had at least one more week to spend together. Probably a lot longer, since they had to go to this Roanapur place and convince someone to remove them.

Horror began to fill them in earnest...

oOo

Explaining everything was, of course, less than simple. While Ryouga was content to sit back and let Ranma do all the talking at the Tendou's place, the fact of the matter was that Ranma had saddled them with another house guest and would shortly be leaving for an unknown amount of time.

While it was pretty much par for the course, it was still disheartening.

"So... You have to cross international borders and then convince someone in Roanapur to take these magical bracers off of you. Is that right?" Nabiki asked, the corner of her lips twitching into a smile.

"Aren't you worried about them, Nabiki?" Akane asked, scowling at her older sister.

"Not at all, Akane," Nabiki countered, gesturing towards where Ranma sat at the table, managing to take in Ryouga with the gesture as well. "Roanapur's kind of a scary place, but I think these two are old enough to take care of themselves. They can even hold hands while they cross the street."

"Not funny, Nabiki," Ranma scowled, crossing his arms. He paused for a moment as realization struck, then he swiveled his head to look at his father as he played shougi with Soun. "Yo, old man. You didn't promise me to anyone over there, did you?"

"Of course not, Ranma!" Genma sputtered, shooting a glare at his son. He missed Soun's lightning fast hands as they shifted a pair of pieces, dramatically swinging the game into his favor. "I've never even been there!"

"Right, so you didn't get the chance," Ranma concluded, turning back to Nabiki. He grinned. "Well, that answers one question."

"Seriously though, Ranma, you've heard about what kind of place that city is!" Akane said, worry tinging her voice. She crossed her arms and glared at the idiot sitting next to her. "It's on the news all the time! You're not bulletproof, you know!"

"I know, I know!" Ranma said, waving off his fiancée's concerns. He flashed her an arrogant smile. "Look, all we have to do is convince this guy to take off the stupid things and then we'll be outta there. I don't particularly feel like getting shot, okay?"

"Okay," Akane finally said, turning her attention back to her tea.

Ryouga yawned as he glanced outside, taking in the setting sun, content to ignore the random conversation of the Tendou family and their guests. Whether or not he said anything, time would pass at the same pace. While he was often an angry person, he had learned patience in the many journeys he'd taken.

He stood, resolving to find a nice, quiet place to have a nap.

oOo

Ryouga awoke with a start, a stabbing pain in his gut telling him it was time to use the washroom. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as they took in his surroundings. Absent a spare room to sleep in, Ryouga had simply walked around the corner of the impressive porch surrounding the Tendou Dojo and leaned against the wall, opting to fall asleep right there. He knew he had to have been asleep for several hours, judging by the lack of activity in the house and the darkness in the sky overhead.

With no small amount of urgency, he moved through the house, searching every door. Akane's room, from which Ryouga backed out silently, his cheeks ablaze. The guest room, curiously holding only Genma. Nabiki's room. Akane's room _again_. The kitchen. Kasumi's room. Until finally, he found the washroom.

He rushed forward, scarcely noting the slight tug on his chained arm as he moved to the toilet.

oOo

Ranma, still asleep on the peak of the roof after climbing out to watch the stars, felt a slight tug as well. It didn't wake the pigtailed boy. It did, however, cause him to slowly start to roll down the roof towards the edge. After the third roll, he woke up, scarcely comprehending his situation. As he reached the fifth roll, he finally realized what was going on.

He'd also hit the edge of the roof and felt nothing under him but air. Panic hit and he thrashed out with an arm to grab the roof. His body swung in towards a window as the edge of the roof broke, propelling the pigtailed boy through with a crash of glass and a startled cry.

Instead of a painful thud of furniture against ribs, he landed face-first on a pair of somethings that were soft and pliable. The commotion brought a flurry of movement and a light flickered on, disorienting Ranma's sleep-addled mind even more and momentarily blinding him.

"Ranma, what do you think you're doing!" Akane's voice demanded. Ranma froze, and his eyes flickered from his tomboy fiancée to the face of her older sister. Nabiki looked less than amused to be awake, and having Ranma's face buried in her cleavage and her room covered in glass was no doubt further complicating matters.

Ranma's eyes flitted back to the girl in the doorway.

oOo

Flushing the toilet and preparing to pull up his pants, Ryouga was in no position to resist as a powerful force jerked his arm through one of the washroom walls, his body following. And so it was that Ryouga nearly crashed into Kasumi as he was hurled through several walls, only to come to a bone-jarring stop as he struck the Tendou Dojo's property wall.

A short distance beyond the wall, Ryouga heard a masculine scream of pain, and then a sharp meaty thud as a heavy object hit something solid. Kasumi peered through the several holes in her home, her hand traveling to her mouth in concern as she observed Ryouga's sprawled form. She picked up his pants from where they were hanging from a jagged edge of the wall, causing the Lost Boy to blush violently.

"These will need to be mended, Ryouga-kun," Kasumi commented, disappearing further into the house.

Ryouga groaned. He hadn't even been in this madhouse a day yet.

oOo

The following day proved no better. Forced to follow Ranma in his day to day life, Ryouga found himself caught in the crossfire more often than not. Kunou's strikes, while easy to dodge, actually hurt a bit when Ryouga accidentally caught one by being pulled off his feet and into the bokken's path by one of Ranma's acrobatic dodges.

Likewise, Ryouga found himself forced to come to Ranma's aid in a battle against Mousse. The Chinese boy's vision was so poor that he was unable to differentiate between his target and his target's unwilling partner. After the third chain-propelled spike thudded into Ryouga's flesh and was pulled out with a grunt of annoyance, Ryouga joined in the battle with Ranma to vent his frustrations with the myopic boy and his lack of aim.

After Kunou's third attack on Ranma, the second of which to result in Ryouga feeling the sting of Kunou's blade, the bandanna-clad boy joined with Ranma in hitting Kunou whenever he showed up. When the kendoist attacked as they left the school and Ryouga thudded him over the clock tower with his umbrella, the Lost Boy grimly reflected it was sort of like playing a school-wide game of Whack-A-Mole.

It was not so much a walk back to the Tendou Dojo as it was an all-you-can-eat gauntlet. Stopping in at the Ucchan, Ryouga was treated to a few free okonomiyaki from his sometime partner-in-crime as Ranma told her the details of what had happened. It was in the middle of that conversation that Tsubasa surprised Ranma by attacking him and surprised Ryouga by being the stool on which he was seated. The cross-dressing stool-boy was evicted from the restaurant with the help of Ukyou's spatula.

Mousse, injured and wearing a cast, somehow managed to attack the pair of boys as they walked into the Cat Café. Ryouga threw himself flat against the ground as Ranma threw himself up onto the ceiling. Mousse, thinking his targets had disappeared, ran out into the street to chase them. A free bowl of ramen was served to the pair as they further discussed the situation with Cologne, ignoring the random cries of confused, accosted pedestrians in the street.

Ranma sighed in resignation and Ryouga groaned upon learning that Cologne had been able to arrange transport, but only for the two of them. They would be forced to rely on one another instead of bringing along allies. Troublesome as the Nerima Wrecking Crew were, both boys knew that their associates were ready, willing, and able to go up against whatever needed a beating or three.

Then again, the idea of running around with all of those maniacs in a city filled with thugs with itchy trigger fingers and more firepower than the Japanese military just screamed Internation Incident to Ryouga. The few times he'd wandered through Roanapur on his way to Australia, he'd wisely decided to stay on the train instead of visiting the sights for the two hour delay.

Sometime later the pair finally arrived at the Tendou Dojo. Both boys sighed in relief. Rest. Relaxation. Free from the torment of the day.

Akane had cooked dinner.

It _wasn't _curry.

For a moment, Ryouga shared with his rival a look of panic. No longer in love with Akane, he could admit, to himself if not to her, that her cooking was terrible. It was with a grim smile that he watched Ranma sit down at the table and poke the "food" with his chopsticks.

She was calling it yakitori and wild rice. He saw no trace of the skewers and wouldn't have initially guessed that the brown sludge flecked with black resembled anything to come out of a rice cooker. She'd gotten a little better ever since she started to learn cooking from Mrs. Saotome, Ryouga noted, but still had a tendency to mess up if she wasn't concentrating.

She must have been distracted as hell to commit this culinary atrocity, he noted sadly. Next to the Lost Boy, Ranma gulped despite not yet consuming anything in front of him.

"Well?" Akane's vocalization was not a question, Ryouga mused idly. It was a naked threat of violence delivered in the form of a single word. He'd met megalomaniacal beings of unimaginable power who, at their best, sounded less menacing. With a sigh not unlike the sigh of someone marching to war, Ranma broke free a piece of the "yakitori" and brought it to his mouth, chewing it with noisy crunches.

Hoping to buy time, the blue-eyed youth reached into his mouth and extracted part of a skewer, which he placed delicately on his plate. He could have cried at the way Akane's eyes never left his face, never giving him the time to employ the Chardin method of eating.

The pigtailed boy tried to swallow but failed, as if his stomach sensed the approaching foreign invader and had become bound and determined not to suffer its presence. His blue eyes widened as Akane's hazel eyes narrowed. He knew what was coming.

Violence ensued.

Ranma, spared the greater pain, felt like weeping for joy as he covertly allowed the offending chunks of... _Something_... to dribble from his mouth, over the side of the porch.

"Ryouga, would you like to try some? I know you like my cooking." Akane's voice was airy, light, and care-free. Ryouga knew he was powerless before it. He felt like weeping: This feeling was not inspired by joy.

He knelt at the table, eyeing the food and wondering if perhaps the "rice" was the lesser of two evils. There were six more days to go before the portal would be ready.

A sad tear came to Ryouga's eye, though he lied and told Akane it was because of the hot sauce and wasabi she'd added to the rice.

oOo

The following days proved just as punishing. The second day it was Kodachi, attacking Ranma's girl form, instead of Mousse. The third day saw Shampoo doggedly pursuing Ranma across the Nerima skyline as the pair left school, the pigtailed boy unable to fully escape due to Ryouga's presence.

The fourth day saw them lost. Low on sleep thanks to a late night visit from Kodachi and a busy day at school thanks to Hinako-sensei's dogged determinate to teach, Ranma simply followed Ryouga on the way home. Ranma didn't think to question the direction or length of their travel until she looked up to find herself in the Tokyo Tower.

That sparked a lengthy brawl which saw the observation deck requiring several days of repair and several new windows. Ranma, in her anger, forgot they were bound together with magic and discovered right alongside Ryouga that the elevator, while slower, was still preferable to falling. Even after the fight had ended, Ryouga was certain Ranma didn't trust his cries that it wasn't his fault and noted that the pigtailed girl was far more cautious when they were traveling.

The fifth day proved nearly as exciting, with Tarou's visit as he searched for Happosai. Ranma was unable to keep himself from taunting the oddly-named young man, which provoked a fight which saw both Ranma and Ryouga battered and bruised, but victorious.

The sixth day proved quiet, though Ryouga noted this only seemed to make his rival even more high strung. After several days of following Ranma's footsteps, he could appreciate the sentiment. It was almost a relief after learning that Kunou was absent and Mousse was still injured that Happosai tried to raid the girls' locker rooms sometime after lunch. In light of their situation, pounding on the old pervert was especially cathartic.

That night, Cologne called the Tendo dojo and told them to be at her restaurant bright and early. She'd confirmed that the colleague was in Roanapur and they'd be leaving on a flight in the morning.

The seventh day saw the sun begin to rise in a cloudless sky. Ranma and Ryouga exchanged glances as they left the Tendou Dojo, long before even Kasumi awoke. Today was the day Cologne would have everything ready for them.

oOo

"Looks like the old prune hasn't opened up yet," Ranma noted. He approached the restaurant, Ryouga trailing a half-step behind.

"Probably doesn't get many customers at six in the morning," Ryouga commented dryly, pausing at the door. He finally pushed it open, allowing the duo to slip into the Cat Café.

"Good. You're here," Cologne noted, lifting her gaze from a dusty tome spread out on a table. She gestured with one hand towards a pair of chairs across the table from her. "Please, have a seat, boys."

The both sat down as Cologne pulled a sheaf of papers from under the book she was reading, eyeing them curiously as she slid a pile in front of each boy.

"It shouldn't surprise you that, given the training I've put the pair of you through, I have a vested interest in your well-being beyond Ranma marrying my great-granddaughter," Cologne said with a dry chuckle, raising her eye curiously at the disbelieving look on Ranma's face. "Please, son-in-law, did you really think I'd teach you the deepest secrets of Amazon lore just on the off-chance that you'd marry Shampoo? Don't take me for a fool."

"So why did you train us, Granny?" Ryouga wondered, folding his hands carefully in front of himself on the table. "I mean, I'm not objecting, but why bother?"

"Oh, part of it is a bet with an old friend in Roanapur," Cologne admitted. She tapped the documents in front of her. "Dear Bai Ji-Shin Chang has always maintained that that wretched little hive of villainy is the most exciting place in the world. I've told him I'd find better, and Nerima is certainly it. You two will probably be quite the surprise to him."

"That's not reassuring, old ghoul," Ranma said, crossing his arms as he eyed the old woman with a pointed glare. "Even my old man had the good sense to steer clear of that place, and I'm not exactly sure I want to go over there and 'surprise' someone. Surprises like ours would probably draw the attention of the Triads, or any of the other criminal groups I've heard about in that place."

"Who is this Chang guy, anyway?" Ryouga added, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Chang's the head of the Triads in Hong Kong, but he bases his operations out of Roanapur because it's more fun for him," Cologne said casually, laughing as both boys went into shock. She slammed her staff over Ranma's head. "Don't worry about it, boy. You're a strong, fit martial artist in your prime! As long as you keep a cool head and are properly respectful, you'll do fine!"

"This guy keep a cool head?" Ranma demanded incredulously, jerking his thumb towards his unwanted partner.

"This jerk even knowing what respectful is?" Ryouga retorted with a shrill laugh.

"I'm quite sure you two will persevere in the face of adversity," Cologne said simply, prompting both boys to glance at one another with looks of dread. She tapped the documents in front of the boys, getting their attention. "Chang has graciously agreed to take care of your flight to Hong Kong, and a small plane will be waiting for you in Hong Kong to take you to Roanapur. Once there, you'll meet someone at the Yellow Flag, a quaint little café near the outskirts."

She glanced up at the clock.

"You boys had better hurry, your flight leaves in a couple of hours," Cologne noted, watching the boys rise. "Don't worry, those packages have all the information you need. Remember to be polite, keep control of your tempers, and above all show Chang the respect he deserves. I might have to have harsh words with him if he shoots you."

Pausing at the door as Ranma left the café, Ryouga turned to Cologne.

"Hey Granny, how do you have the pull to ask a Triad boss for favours?" Ryouga wondered, scratching his hair. "Everything else I get, but that part escapes me."

"Of course I can ask the boy for a favour every once in a while," Cologne said with a wide grin. "I don't think that dear boy would deny his great-aunt anything."

"Of course," Ryouga said bitterly, following his rival to the subway station.

oOo

Narita International Airport was an absolute mess as the two boys arrived, being stuffed with salarymen bound on flights all over the world. Between the customs agents warily eyeing Ryoug's ludicrously heavy umbrella and questioning Ranma having his 'sister's' passport, to the humiliating body search both boys underwent due to the bracers (which went strangely ignored by airport security), they made it onto their flight with only ten minutes to spare.

It was then they got their first pleasant surprise of the day as they were escorted to a pair of seats in first class. Mercifully, the flight left on time and thanks to only minor delays, they'd arrived in Hong Kong early in the afternoon.

It took them only twenty minutes to track down their pilot, who assured them that they didn't have to bother customs with their baggage, given their destination.

The plane he lead them to was significantly smaller than the one they'd taken from Narita to Hong Kong, being a two-propeller deal with eight luxurious seats in the back where once twenty cramped seats had been, with enough room to stand with slightly bent knees and a bowed head. Strapping in, the boys were subjected to yet more air-travel.

After a brief dinner in a small restaurant near the airport, they got in a taxi and asked to go to the Yellow Flag café, wondering about the loud laugh the driver bellowed as he tore down the road at reckless speeds.

As they pulled up to a place which was decidedly not a café, both boys got out of the cab and exchanged similar looks of dismay. The Yellow Flag was perhaps the shadiest bar either boy had ever seen, and between Ranma's dad and Ryouga's habitual wandering, they'd seen a fair amount.

A (hopefully) unconscious body flying through a plate glass window to land rough and unmoving on the dirt outside only added to the 'effect'.

After only a moment's more pause, they groaned in unison and entered.

oOo

It hadn't been a bad little fight, Revy mused to herself as she sipped her rum. Yeoung had chickened out a bit by pulling his pistol like that, but if Eddie was too slow to get the hell out of the way of the gunshot, it was his problem. The bastard was just lucky the bullet had only grazed his temple. If he'd been half a second slower, his brains would have been all over Bao's new window instead of his body crashing through it.

Thus thanks to Eddie's unwanted ejection, her eyes were on the entrance when the two Japanese kids came in. Travel-worn packs on their backs and a mixture of awe and suspicion Revy had come to associate with those new to the city marking their faces.

The first wore a bright red tangzhuang jacket on top of plain black slacks, his slippers well-worn with travel, which might have looked kinda cool on the brat if it weren't for the sissy pigtail he was wearing. The other boy wore a plain, roughcut yellow shirt with green pants and the ugliest pair of shoes she'd ever seen: She wasn't even sure what the hell those bindings were supposed to do. At least he didn't have long hair, though the bandana certainly stood out.

"Would you look at these two idiots!" Revy snorted, elbowing Rock. The man looked up from his beer, then followed Revy's gaze to the doorway, where the boys had started to move towards the bar. "I don't believe this shit! They're even worse than you were when you got here, Rock!"

"Revy, be nice," Rock groaned, taking a chug of his beer.

"Excuse me," the kid in the bandana asked in English, projecting his voice loud enough for Bao to hear. "Could you please tell me where we can find a Ms. Shenhua, please?"

Oh, this was too perfect!

"Yo, Chinglish!" Revy yelled, interrupting Bao and spinning in her seat to face the Taiwanese woman. Ignoring the startled looks on the boy's faces, she grinned at them. "Don't worry kids, she'll be right with you."

"What you want, bitch?" The woman in question called angrily from her table, sipping whatever piss-water it was she drank. She glared at the purple-haired gunslinger, wincing painfully as she shifted in her seat. "I waiting for guests."

"These two are your guests," Revy called out, jerking her thumb towards the boys in question. She laughed before adding, "What, are you starting a nursury now that everyone knows you can't fight?"

"Shut up now, twinkie!" Shenhua growled, standing slowly. She pointed at the two boys and started over to the bar. "They guests of Mr. Chang!"

"How's your back doing? I heard from the doc that Edda did quite the number on you, Chinglish," Revy added as the red-clad woman got to the bar. She leaned forward with a grin. "Didn't know you liked little boys, but if that's your thing..."

"Who you callin' a little boy, you clumsy tomboy?" The pigtailed boy muttered rather loudly. Given the horrified look on Bao's face, Revy could guess what her own looked like as she reached out to snatch the front of the boy's shirt.

"Revy," Rock tried, though she brushed his voice off like the non-concern it was.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that. Would you care to repeat it for me, little man?" Revy growled, her free hand going to the holstered pistol under her arm. The boy's hand grabbed the hand at his shirt and he flashed her the most arrogant look she'd ever seen.

"Why not?" He asked with a broad grin. He leaned in close, blue eyes shining. "You're a clumsy tomboy who probably couldn't catch a man with a tranquilizer rifle."

"Oh, shit!" Rock muttered, diving over the bar as Revy snatched the gun from her holster. As she did, the boy twisted her hand, freeing himself from her grasp and he moved.

Pistol leveled at the boy's face, she noticed that a lot of the bar's occupants had found cover. Most of them were now in the process of taking bets. Chinglish had very wisely grabbed the other idiot and dragged him away, leaving a nice, open area in the center of the bar for the two to settle their differences.

"Damn it, Revy! I told you, I like my bar the way it is! Don't destroy it this time!" Bao howled from behind the bar.

"Don't worry about it, Bao! I'll only be firing one shot!" Revy snarled, glaring at the boy in front of her. That damned smirk!

"Of course you're only going to be firing one shot!" The stupid bastard in front of her said, shrugging his shoulders. "That's all you're gonna get off before I take your stupid toy away from you."

Somewhere in the bar, a glass rolled from a table and crashed on the floor. At the sound, Revy fired.

oOo

Author's Notes:

My bad: Did I say a few days for the next chapter? Clearly I meant a few hours. I'm sure you guys don't mind. So, bets on whether Revy and Ranma will, in the future, continue to mix like oil and flames? Anyone?

Anyway, Ranma and Ryouga have met up with the Black Lagoon cast, including Shenhua (who'll take them to Chang, who'll take them to the person they need to speak with to figure out how to get rid of the bracers). The next chapter is going to be a mix of mostly-new stuff with a bit of exposition on the magical thingies keeping Ranma and Ryouga together lifted from various chapters of A Duet of Fists, beyond which this story is going to be all-new material.


	3. Chapter 3

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 3

oOo

"Aiya!" Slapping her forehead in disgust, Shenhua grabbed the red-clad idiot's friend and dragged him clear of the fight area. The Taiwanese woman knew just how Revy got when she was in the mood for a fight. At least she could bring one of these morons to Chang.

Speaking of morons, she hauled the bandanna-clad young man face to face with herself.

"What the hell you doing? You no listen to instructions when say don't cause trouble?" Shenhua spat, cursing herself for sounding like an idiot with her broken English. The much-suffering look on the youth's face spoke volumes. "What, he like this all the time?"

"Yes," he growled, glaring across the bar at his friend. The brunette blinked at the tone of his voice. That had sounded... bitter. Really bitter, even compared to the bitter people she knew here in Roanapur. That was pretty impressive.

"Stupid friend going to get splattered by Twinkie! How I explain to Boss Chang?" The woman growled to herself, turning to watch the fight.

"I hate to say it, but that woman with the guns is probably going to get knocked flat on her ass," the boy at her side finally said, watching the fight with a bored interest as he crossed his arms.

"What? No way! Stupid bitch very fast with guns. Idiot boy not going to live past tonight," Shenhua informed him gravely, shaking her head at the waste.

"Wanna bet?"

Before she could respond, a glass crashed to the floor and Revy fired. The fight was on.

oOo

As fast as thought, Ranma tilted his head as he saw the woman's fingers tighten, actually hearing the whistle of the bullet pass his ear before he heard the boom of the gunshot. Wow. That had been loud. Really loud. Maybe this hadn't been the smartest idea.

He instantly banished the thought. As good a shot as she was, the slowpoke hadn't even managed to keep up with the speed he'd moved his head.

"I thought you'd finish this in one shot?" The pigtailed boy asked teasingly, grin wide on his face. If anything, the manic grin on the woman's face only grew at the missed hit.

"And I thought you'd take my gun away from me before I had the chance to fire a second?" She retorted far too cheerily for a woman pointing a loaded weapon at someone's head. Ranma conceded the point with a nod.

"Stop it, damn it, you'll wreck my bar!" The bartender's voice cried in anguish from behind the wooden protection of his counter.

"He's right, y'know. If we go all out, we'll probably wreck the joint," Ranma said reasonably, glancing around the establishment. He slapped the bottom of a fist on the palm of his other one as an idea struck him. "Tell you what: You hit me before you run out of ammo in that thing, I'll apologize for insulting you. You don't hit me, you admit you're a clumsy tomboy who can't shoot worth beans. Sound fair?"

"You got a deal, kid," the woman growled, adjusting her aim. "What's your name, you little punk? Mine's Revy."

"Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Anything Goes," the pigtailed boy said grandly, bowing slightly. His eyes flickered to her gun. "So, uh... How many shots you got left in that thing?"

"Fourteen," Revy said with a smile, before reaching under her other arm and drawing an identical pistol, which she leveled at him as well. "This one's still got the full fifteen, though."

"That's just fifteen more chances for you to miss me," Ranma informed her bluntly, stretching once. He tilted his head toward her. "Well, shall we?"

The table behind Ranma was furrowed with a gunshot as he twisted out of the way of Revy's answering shot, scattering the pint glasses littering the table and spraying the men hiding underneath with glass. Her third and fourth shots found the far wall and a wooden support beam, drawing an even bigger grin from Revy as she brought her other gun to bear.

"Man, are you always this slow?" Ranma yawned, finally drawing an irritated growl from his opponent.

"Kid, you're just making my victory so much sweeter," the brunette snarled in reply, taking a step towards him and squeezing off two more shots which he narrowly avoided. "Maybe I'll even leave you in good enough condition to make that apology you promised me."

"And maybe one day your ass won't look fat in those shorts, but I generally don't worry about things that ain't gonna happen," Ranma said smugly, ducking and then leaping right over the woman as she fired a series of seven shots at him which traced a line of bullet holes across the ceiling. "So close."

Four more shots hit the other side of the wall, a fifth hitting a pitcher of beer and drenching the gunslingers hiding underneath. The pigtailed boy glanced at the table worriedly for a moment, ducking under the shot she tried to put in the back of his head, before turning back to face her as he danced past another shot.

"So, are you going to pay for all these drinks you're shooting? Because seriously, I'm not getting punished for your bad aim, tomboy," the blue-eyed youth noted, grinning at the interesting shade of deep red her face was approaching. He jumped as five more shots hit the ground at his feet, using a nearby support beam to deflect himself from the final flurry of shots she tried to lace him with while he was vulnerable in the air.

"You're out," Ranma said confidently, relaxing as he stood to his full height.

oOo

Crouched at her table, Eda looked at the red-clad boy with a speculative eye. Dodging that many of Revy's shots took a hell of a lot of talent, and if his friend was even half as good, the two would no doubt find themselves top billing at the best jobs Roanapur had to offer.

Well, one would.

Pity the pigtailed idiot couldn't count properly.

oOo

"No, I'm not," Revy informed her opponent, squeezing the trigger and expelling the last shot in her pistol. She'd noted early on that the boy was counting the shots by watching her fingers pull the trigger. Well, except for that one he'd had the balls to dodge with his back turned.

So while she'd been firing one of her last barrages, she'd pulled the trigger on her empty gun once, shooting no bullet. That left one in her chamber.

Revy was feeling kind: It wasn't the boy's fault he was a moron, so she'd aimed for the shoulder. Unless it deflected into a major artery, he'd be able to give her her apology and then go get himself stitched up.

The boom of the gun spitting its last passenger echoed in the bar.

oOo

Ranma's eyes widened, and he traced the aim of her gun to his shoulder. Too fast for him too twist his body out of the way, she'd already pulled the trigger. He yanked his arm up at the last instant, the bullet deflecting off the jade armguard and shattering a bottle of rum where it stood on the bar.

oOo

"He deflect fucking bullet like that?" Shenhua spat, turning her gaze to the bored young man at her side. Ryouga chuckled at the surprised look on the woman's face. "No, seriously. How he do that?"

"He's just really, really fast," Ryouga told her simply, uncrossing his arms. He walked over to Ranma and slugged him in the shoulder. "Quit showing off, you jerk! C'mon, we've got to go meet Mr. Chang and get these stupid things off our arms!"

"Sure, Ryouga. Just something I gotta take care of, first," Ranma said with a solemn look on his face, walking up to Revy, who was staring at the boy expectantly. He stopped in front of her for a moment, and they both eyed one another silently. Finally Ranma got an annoyed look on his face. "Well?"

"Well what? Where's my fucking apology?" Revy spat, hands still clenching their guns and resting on her hips. "I hit you right in the arm, you stupid shit!"

"What are you talking about, tomboy? You didn't hit me, I _deflected_ your bullet. Time for you to admit what a tomboy you are," Ranma told her, gesturing with one hand. "C'mon, let's hear it. I got places to be, lady."

oOo

"Someone should do something," Rock noted quietly, standing along with Dutch and Benny.

"You're right, Rock. Benny, grab Revy," Dutch told Benny, staring at the new confrontation brewing between the pair. This had the potential to go sour very, very quickly. The blond American shot the large black man a dirty look, spreading his hands.

"Do I look like an idiot, Dutch? _You _grab her," Benny spat, eyeing the two in the center of the bar as the silence grew more and more oppressive, the smell of potential violence growing stronger with every second.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Rock, make sure Revy doesn't flip out," the black man finally sighed, shoving the young man forward a step. The Japanese guy turned his head and shot him a look that screamed 'you're fucking kidding me, right?' before turning back to the confrontation and noticing the dangerous way Revy's hands were shaking.

"Fuck it," the young man groaned, lurching forward.

Thankfully for Revy's pride, the guy in yellow grabbed Ranma at the same time, starting to drag him off.

oOo

"Get back here with my fucking apology, damn it!" Revy yelled at the pigtailed sissy as his boyfriend dragged him off. She shoved an elbow into her partner's ribs, eliciting a grunt of pain which did absolutely nothing to loosen his grip on her. "Rock, let me go! I can't reload my guns, you asshole!"

"That's the point," Rock admitted weakly, struggling to maintain his grip.

"C'mon Ranma, leave the psycho alone!" The punk with the bandanna said, dragging the protesting boy with him as Chinglish led them out of the bar.

"Psycho!? I'll make you eat your bandanna for that, dipshit!" Revy snarled, twisting and trying to stomp on Rock's feet. Unfortunately, a solid year of keeping her more or less out of trouble while they went drinking had long ago clued the poor bastard in to that simple trick. "Rock, I'm serious! Let! Me! Go!"

"Dutch, Benny, help me with her!" Rock cried plaintively, dragging her away from the retreating duo a step.

"See, you're acting like a tomboy right now! Why don't you just admit it!?" Ranma called mockingly, managing to get a grip on the frame of the door before finally being dragged outside.

"I'll kill you! I swear to God I will!" Revy howled, still fighting with the man she worked alongside. The bastard's grip was weakening and one of her arms was free!

"Guys, she's getting loose! Help me, damn it!" Rock cried, wincing as one of Revy's guns nearly pistol-whipped him as she thrashed around.

"No, that's your own fault for stepping in. A man should know when it's safe to step in and when it's not," Dutch told the younger man, grinning at the evil look he got in return.

"You'd better cover my medical bills when she gets loose, Dutch!"

"Rock, I swear I'm gonna kick your ass!"

oOo

"You fucking stupid? Twinkie gonna kill you next time she see you," The red-clad woman warned Ranma as they walked to her car. Ranma flashed her a grin.

"Nah, everything'll be fine. She'll have calmed down by the next time I see her, and so she'll be willing to admit that I'm right and she lost," the pigtailed boy pointed out reasonably. Ryouga flashed him a startled look. "Hey, what's that for? I'm right and you know it!"

"Body so fast, mind so slow," Shenhua muttered, opening the driver's door and getting into the car. Ryouga just scowled at Ranma and piled into the passenger seat, leaving Ranma to get into the back. Glancing in the rearview mirror as she started the car, the Taiwanese woman flashed him a sad look. "She not one to forgive. You gonna get shot next time she see you."

"Nah. She didn't seem like the type to hold a grudge," Ranma informed her. He grinned at the startled look on the woman's face. "Look, anybody who gets mad that easily can't really hold a grudge that long, the way I see it."

"Yeah, it's not like I held a grudge with you for five years or anything," Ryouga mocked from the front seat.

"Yeah, welll... Shut up!" Ranma scowled.

"I be glad when you Boss Chang's problem," Shenhua muttered to herself, driving away from the Yellow Flag.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Ah, a rivalry is born. This chapter could have been a bit longer, but I feel it stands on it's own as is. Besides, I *know* I'd get a staggering amount of hatemail if I didn't put the Revy/Ranma fight scene up as soon as it was done.

For those of you wondering why Revy didn't just fire in the middle of Ranma's little speech, it's because he's proven that he's got a little trick which interests the fighter in her. Much like Ginji's ability to cut a bullet in half, Ranma's ludicrous speed has Revy genuinely interested in a more or less fair fight, unlike the poseurs who she'll just shoot.

The hardest part of writing this chapter was finding a way for Ranma and Revy to not only fight one another to their limits, but for neither one of them to actually lose. The "draw" of Ranma deflecting Revy's last bullet was a good compromise, I think, which will just fuel their mutual dislike of one another.

I want to make it clear here that while Ranma and Ryouga are badasses, Revy, Eda, Shenhua and everyone else are all badasses as well (except maybe Rock) and it'd be crappy of me not to give them their due. Hence why Ranma didn't just win straight out. Besides, Revy was able to beat a guy who cut a bullet in half, so Ranma's not _entirely_ out of her league.


	4. Chapter 4

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 4

oOo

Driving through the city, unbeknown to Ranma, Ryouga, or Shenhua, a tiny mushroom spore which had endured valiantly for months in a forgotten fold of Ryouga's backpack was disturbed as the Lost Boy rifled through the bag in his search for a more presentable shirt for their meeting with Chang. The way the young man flipped the top flap of his bag open dislodged this spore, which was now free to float through the air.

A gust of wind carried the spore east, looping over a bar and slowly drifting aimlessly through the air. Curiously, this spore did not just settle and die on some roof. Another random gust of wind carried the spore into a grocery store, where the air conditioning which cycled the air carried the fateful beginning to finally land in a dark, damp spot which was, coincidentally enough, right above a basket of mushrooms.

Within hours, the spore had borne fruit and several mushrooms now dangled above the basket. Growing all together, the batch reached between thirteen and seventeen centimeters of length before the weight of themselves snapped them free from their precarious place of birth and dropped them amidst many others. The bunch of mushrooms split apart, mixing with the regular mushrooms in instants.

Nobody noticed that these mushrooms were not quite like the others as they were purchased. The mushrooms were taken to various kitchens across the city to be prepared for dinner. Only two people in all of Roanapur knew just what those mushrooms could do to someone's age and were familiar enough with the taste and sight to identify them. These boys knew that these powerful mushrooms grew only in a certain forest in Japan and knew that these mushrooms were the source of worldwide fables of The Fountain of Youth.

Sadly these mushrooms would not make their way to Boss Chang's table, where Ranma and Ryouga sat and discussed their problem. Had those mushrooms made their way to that table, many problems about to emerge would have been avoided.

oOo

"So let me get this straight: You went out of your way to antagonize Two Hands?" Chang asked with a broad smile, sitting back in a comfortable chair and sipping his coffee. The two boys sitting on the couch across from him exchanged a look.

"Wait, her name is Two Hands? I thought her name was Revy?" Ranma pondered, scratching his jaw.

"It's a nickname. Given because the only person better with a pair of pistols in this entire city is me," Chang informed them with a grin. The Triad boss chuckled as he shook his head. "So not only do you piss her off, you manage to survive the encounter without a scratch? Kid, there's maybe half a dozen people in all of Roanapur who could make _that_ claim."

"Feh, she was pretty fast, but not as fast as me," the pigtailed boy preened, leaning forward. "So, the old ghoul mentioned that someone in this city might be able to do something about these stupid armguards?"

"Yeah, Aunt Kuh Lon did ask me to look into that. There's a rather interesting old man in the south end of Roanapur named Wong Fei Chin who deals with a lot of rather curious items," Chang confirmed with a nod. He spread his hands wide. "He pays his protection fee on time and yet, curiously, he seems to do almost no business at all. He turns away pretty much everyone who comes into the shop, insisting that they'd cause more problems than they'd solve by using his services."

"He's the guy Granny wrote to you about?" Ryouga asked politely, getting a nod in return.

"I'll have Shenhua take you there first thing in the morning," Chang confirmed, then sighed. "Unfortunately, I've got to go take care of some business. Your rooms are downstairs and, per my Aunt's instructions, they're separate but share an adjoining bathroom. The beds have been moved to take this curse you suffer from under consideration."

"Which one?" Ranma muttered with a dark chuckle, standing. He bowed to his host. "Thanks."

"I'm always happy to help out a friend of my aunt's," The older man admitted with a smile. "And I'll admit, after seeing that redhead you've got stashed away, I'm beginning to agree with Kuh Lon that this place you two come from seems like a rather lively part of Tokyo."

"You don't know the half of it, Chang-san," Ryouga said, standing.

oOo

Balalaika was a woman of reason and intellect. A vicious intellect, one centered primarily on making war to be sure, but many of her methods of operation were based around this sharp intelligence and the insights into human behavior which she had grasped. Thus, she was used to dealing with Chang and could sometimes read the man very well.

He was not joking in the least: The warning he had just delivered concerning the two young men in the photographs on the laptop screen were genuine. The contradictory part was that the two boys were also a few months shy of their eighteenth birthday. They weren't even especially large or intimidating looking.

The boy in the red had a slight build, somewhat muscled but certainly nothing to raise more than a passing curiosity. His friend in the yellow and green was a little more thickly built, but not enough to make a difference. Both boys wore outdated clothes, carried no weapons (save for anything hidden in the umbrella, perhaps), and were otherwise typical Japanese men: Not especially tall or strong.

"What is the danger with these two, Chang?" Balalaika finally asked, tapping the screen with one fingernail. "Believe me, I'm willing to take it at face value that these two boys are not opponents we want to make. That lovely little maid who came here six months ago certainly proved that looks can be very deceiving. What are their credentials? What have they done to warrant caution from Hotel Moscow?"

"Well for one, I wouldn't go after these boys," Chang said with a sheepish smile. The man was hiding something, but he was speaking the truth here at least. "They've got a little problem which can only be solved here, but my contact Kuh Lon told me that they're here for a little while."

"Anything else? Anything tangible you could perhaps share?" The Russian Captain pressed, taking a slow drag off her cigar. She waved her hand. "What, specifically, have these boys done which would prevent my men from gunning them down if they get out of hand?"

"Balalaika, would you pit any of your men, unarmed, against Two Hands?" Chang asked, folding his hands and leaning forward to stare the woman in the eye. He turned to the two other occupants of the room, spreading his hands wide in an all-encompassing gesture. "Any of you three. Do you have any enforcers working for you who you could trust to reliably fight Revy unarmed with her packing those two pistols of hers?"

"That's crazy talk, man!" The Columbian head scoffed. "That girl is _muy loco._ Give 'em a gun and yeah, maybe I put one of my guys up against her, but unarmed? Is that even a question with more than one answer?"

"Indeed, Chang. It seems rather odd for you to ask a silly question like that," Balalaika pointed out.

"Silly, huh? I would have thought so, too," Chang admitted, moving the mouse on his computer and clicking a video file. "This is footage from the Yellow Flag earlier today. As you can see, Ranma Saotome decided it would be a good night to pick a fight with Revy unarmed."

"He in a bodybag yet, or is old Bao still cleaning what's left of him off the floor?" The Columbian chuckled.

"Be quiet," the room's lone woman snapped, leaning forward as Revy snagged the boy's shirt. He didn't appear to flinch once as Revy pulled her gun on him. Then Revy fired and the boy's head had moved? "Chang, could you play that back slower?"

"Believe me, it won't do you any good," the Chinese mobster said with a grin. He tapped the paused image with a finger. "Bao only has the low-res stuff for his security set up. The cameras only record at twenty four frames per second. Our pigtailed friend moved faster than that. He's about to be shot in one frame and then his head is tilted in the next. No frames in between."

With no more word, Chang hit the play button and the video resumed.

Balalaika raised one eyebrow as the boy dodged several more shots. Her other eyebrow joined the first as he casually leapt _over _his Chinese-American foe. Her jaw dropped slightly as the young man turned his back on the woman and yet still avoided the shot which should have splattered his brains all over the wall.

The most amazing moment was when the fight appeared to be over. The boy slowly stood to his full height, relaxing his stance. He was all but inviting an attack, lacking the ability to twist out of the way. Balalaika had noted that while the boy was inhumanly fast, he still seemed more or less bound by the laws of gravity, inertia, and momentum. With nothing to push off of and his feet tight together, he had no way to dodge as Revy fired one more shot.

Balalaika grabbed the cigar from her mouth before it could fall and burn her shirt, leaning forward and watching as the bottom of rum on the bar exploded an instant after Revy fired. A bottle of rum that was at a ninety degree angle compared to the boy, who now stood wide-eyed, his arm raised to ward off an attack.

Chang paused, then reversed the film, pausing again on the most important frame: Ranma Saotome's arm was raised and a spark of some sort was flashing on the armguard.

"Chang, I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing, am I?" Balalaika whispered incredulously, leaning forward back in her chair to take in the enormity of what she was seeing.

"If you think you're seeing him deflect a bullet with his damned arm after Revy pulled her fast one on him and got him off guard, you are," the Triad boss confirmed.

"_Madre de Dios,_" an awed voice whispered from the Russian's left.

"My friends, my contact has personally assured me that Ryouga Hibiki, this pigtailed boy's friend, is every bit as exceptional as he himself is," the Chinese man said with a grin. He closed the video file, leaving the trio of his compatriots staring at their profiles. "They're not any particular threat to us. They're not here to kill anyone important or make a huge mess of our home. However let's all do ourselves a favour and not change that by pissing them off, alright?"

"Preventing hostilities would probably be preferable to neutralizing them," the blond woman conceded, taking another drag from her cigar. "Of course, if I have to deal with these two, I will. But I see no profit in unduly stirring things up in our fair city."

"I'm glad you agree," Chang said with a nod. His eyes traveled around the room. Getting affirmative nods. "I'll be playing host to them for the next few days, but after that they should be available for some work. The problem they need solved is going to be an expensive proposition for them, and I promised not to intervene on their behalf."

"I'm sure that I can find some use for their talents," the Russian mobster admitted, tapping ash into the tray on her end of the table. She paused, a slightly puzzled look on her face. "What did you say their problem was?"

"I didn't," Chang groaned, looking... _sheepish_? He wiped a hand on his face before continuing. "Look, if I thought you'd believe me, I'd happily tell you all what it is. You'll have to experience that particular brand of insanity yourselves."

"I'm looking forward to it," Balalaika said, standing. She paused, turning back to the Chinese man with curiosity. "Chang, has anyone else seen that file?"

"Are you kidding?" Chang snorted, pressing a button on the laptop and ejecting a DVD. He tilted it, revealing in sloppy, handwritten English: 'Revy Embarrassed By Newcomer'. "It's only been a few hours since it happened and Bao's been making a killing selling these things to everyone that girl's pissed off."

oOo

Eda grimaced to herself, checking the shopping list one more time. She'd grabbed the tomatoes, lettuce, mushrooms, and carrots. She'd grabbed something the supermarket claimed was ground beef, though she put the odds of that at around fifty-fifty. She wondered if it said anything about her hometown that it was easier to get twenty one year-old single malt scotch than it was to get a quality cut of actual beef.

"Eda," A voice grunted, and the blond nun turned with a grin.

"Revy, not a bad little match you had with that kid last night. It's a shame you couldn't tag him," Eda's voice was filled with sympathy, and of course the Chinese-American gunner saw right through it, simply growling once more. The tattooed woman's basket also had mushrooms and some soy sauce. "So what's the deal with that? Can't afford anything better?"

"Quiet, you. Rock's making some Japanese dish for the entire crew tonight, and the dumbass forgot not to visit Mohommad's place if he wants quality ingredients," Revy said with a scowl, shaking the basket. "Dutch is busy with the boat and Benny's talking to his girlfriend on the phone, so I decided it'd be easier to come myself than trust Rock not to fuck things up again."

"Trouble in paradise?" The CIA-trained woman grinned, earning another growl from the woman.

"So you gonna pay or are you just going to keep wasting my time, bitch?" Revy snapped, jerking her head forward. Ahead of her, a Russian was bundling his groceries up and walking out.

"No need to be rude," Eda lilted, turning to the cashier and plopping her groceries on the counter. She turned to her rival as the cashier started tallying the items, and the brunette was glancing at the mushrooms with a small frown.

"Lucky I got here when I did. Between you and Balalaika's chef, all the mushrooms are gone," Revy snorted, shaking her head.

"Must be something special about them," the nun said dismissively, paying for the groceries and slinging the bag over her shoulder.

She had no idea how right she was.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Sorry if you were looking forward to more Ranma and Ryouga stuff. By doing this crossover, I want to include the whole cast of Black Lagoon into the preceedings, not just Revy, Rock, Dutch, and Benny. Eda and Shenhua are going to be playing major roles, as will Balalaika and Chang.

The mushrooms are... Well, let's just say that some of Roanapur's denizens are about to get a firsthand experience with magic which will lend Ranma and Ryouga's claims the weight of truth. It should shake things up quite a bit. Poor, poor...

Well, that would be telling.

As a side note... With this entry I've beaten the NaNoWriMo challenge. By _accident_. Between what I wrote for someone I'm beta-reading for, this story, Echoes of the Past, and Purity Amidst Madness, I somehow managed to write over 50,000 words within twenty-five days. I didn't even realize how much work I've done until the other night.

Yeah. Complain about my output _now._


	5. Chapter 5

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 5

oOo

In a small Malaysian town there exists a small hospital. Really, to call the thing a hospital is generous. It could only be called as such because of the unique nature of one of their patients and the circumstances surrounding her arrival. The girl was young: At most she was thirteen years old.

She'd been found by a police officer of the town with a large automatic rifle at her side, a small cloth bag wrapped with the rifle, full of cash, and a head wound which appeared at first to be fatal. Given this girl's apparent luck up until that point, it should come as a rather large surprise to learn that this officer was neither corrupt nor lacking in compassion.

This police officer had also lost his young wife to an injury a properly equipped hospital could have treated. In this fragile, barely still-living young girl, the policeman saw an opportunity. He checked the young girl into the hospital where she was initially treated, though the prospects were indeed poor. As with the police officer's young wife, the chances for the girl were grim without proper medical care.

That evening at the end of his shift, the officer dutifully handed in the Browning M1918 Automatic to the arms clerk, reporting it as found on the scene of the shooting. He did not report the bag of cash, which contained nearly half a million dollars in American funds. Instead, he went to the director of the hospital, a retired American doctor. A former head of surgery, in fact, and a man who could do wonders for the community were his building properly financed.

The man agreed to take the money for the hospital. Within days, it was transformed, all sorts of medical equipment flown in at great expense. The doctor knew that the girl was the cause of his hospital's good fortune. He swore he would save her, whatever it took. The first thing it took was a blood transfusion, a decidedly rare commodity. He drew the blood from his own arm.

The bullet which had shot her must have come from a small-caliber pistol. It had struck her three inches to the left of the crown of her head, tearing up the scalp quite a bit and causing massive bleeding. Between the blood and the wig hiding the lack of a gaping exit wound, it's no wonder her killer thought her dead.

Between the surgery, three blood transfusions, and the superior monitoring equipment the doctor was able to largely stabilize her condition. Unfortunately, this left the girl in a rather deep coma. A coma which looked to last for the rest of the girl's life. The police officer looked in on the girl from time to time, reading her stories from a book of fairy tales.

The girl seemed to smile a bit whenever he read the story of Hansel and Gretel to her. Just so he could catch a glimps of that smile, he read it to her often.

It was a surprise to both when the girl woke up. After taking some time to make sure she was alright, they learned something interesting. The girl had family. She had a brother, one who was working in a nearby city. The last thing she knew, she was supposed to go on a picnic with him.

It was a struggle for her to remember anything else. She couldn't tell the officer why she had a Browning M1918 Automatic. She couldn't tell the doctor why she had half a million dollars in cash hidden in the rifle's wrapping cloth. She couldn't even remember her own name.

She could remember her brother's smiling face, however: His short black hair, the warm smile he'd had when she sang for him. She remembered those things. Both men promised to help her find him again.

oOo

Ryouga groaned as he twisted out of the way of the shot, the bullet striking the wall behind him. Ranma rolled over a crate and leaped, trying to keep their foe off balance. They would have none of it, however, and three shots took Ranma high in the chest, red dripping from his white t-shirt and leaving him to land and then slump to the ground limply.

Ryouga grimaced at the loss of his ally. That would make this battle that much more difficult. With a snap, his foe reloaded his weapons and advanced, using Ranma's leaden weight to slow Ryouga down as the Lost Boy was forced to drag Ranma around by the magic binding them.

All too soon, Ranma's body got caught on a steel pole, halting Ryouga's horizontal momentum and leaving him easy prey for the pistolero eyeing him. Two shots stung his legs before one drilled him in the forehead, finishing the fight.

"Come on, boys! You can do better than that!" Chang snapped, ejecting the clips from his guns and unchambering the rounds left behind. He slapped two different clips in place of the old, once more arming himself properly. "I don't care if we're using simunitions, my aunt says you can do better than this. If I'm going to be taking valuable time out of my day to train you, you can damn well try harder than this!"

"It's not our fault!" Ranma protested, wincing as he sat up. Being the first down meant playing dead. That meant being dragged around by his partner until he got shot or managed to disarm Chang. Neither boy had managed the second, yet. "We ain't used to these damned bracers yet, man! We're not used to moving in tandem like this!"

"You'd better learn, fast," Chang said, holstering his weapons. "Look boys, you're good, but you're not immortal. You probably want to avoid getting shot just as much as the rest of us, right?"

"Right," Ryouga confirmed. He grimaced at Ranma. "Look, let's get used to moving together with these damned things. We'll go see this guy a little later. I'm not going to be comfortable running around a city filled with guns unless I'm used to dealing with them."

"Hey, I did fine against that Revy chick!" Ranma scowled, crossing his arms. "I'm sure we'd be fine!"

"You may have missed it, but I've just shot you boys five times out of five," Chang pointed out bluntly. He snapped his fingers, and three men with MP5s entered the room. "These boys aren't nearly as good a shot as I am... but with those guns, they don't really have to be. They'll be taking over your training while I'm away."

"What?" Ranma muttered, his face going pale. Ryouga was already moving, knowing his reaction times were not quite up to the pigtailed boy standing next to him. Predictably, Ranma dodged the opposite way, leaving them both open to attack.

Leaving the boys to their training, Chang left to go meet up with his underlings.

oOo

Drug smuggling. Two of her men could handle the investigation, backed up by two men from her coms unit. The recent weapons smuggling. Ugh. Four men, meaning she'd have to pull a fire team off of active rotation to deal with the problem. Again, backed up by two men from coms. She rubbed her head and eyed the clock. It was only eleven thirty.

Balalaika set aside her paperwork as her sergeant entered the room, flashing him a small smile.

"Lunch is ready so soon?" She asked lightly, getting out of her chair. At his curt nod, she followed him into the small dining room next to her office. "You will, of course, be joining me?"

"Of course," the man said with a small nod, pretending there wasn't only a single place setting at the table. He quickly and efficiently got a second set of dish ware out and spoke quietly with the man at the door. "Bring up a second dish from the kitchen, then serve the men."

He received a curt nod before turning back to the table. Moments later the first dish was brought in, and without prompting the man placed it in front of the Capitan with a flourish.

"I think Gleb's outdone himself," Sergeant commented, indicating the meal. Balalaika nodded her agreement, digging into the first bite of the mushroom dish with relish.

My, Gleb had indeed done a wonderful job. With just one bite of the meal she felt refreshed. She hadn't felt this good in ages, in fact. Almost as if one bite of the food had transformed her!

"Sergeant, you really must compliment Gleb on this meal. I haven't felt like this in a long time," Balalaika said with a rare, genuine smile on her face. That smile faded at the blank look on her underling's face.

"You, get Gleb!" The large man snapped, shoving the man with the tray towards the door. "Make sure nobody touches the food he prepared!"

"Sergeant?" Balalaika muttered, confused.

"Capitan, take a look in the mirror. I hope we can get to the bottom of this," the scar-faced man growled, crossing his arms. Wordlessly Balalaika rose and went to the mirror, fearing the worst. When she got there, she saw a face she hadn't seen in thirty years, albeit one which still bore the scars of her time in Afghanistan.

It was her own fifteen-year-old face.

"Well, this is interesting," Balalaika commented. My, she'd forgotten how light her voice had sounded when she was younger.

She was a woman who'd been through the fires of hell itself, been through the worst battles a war had to offer. She'd seen comrades die and killed hundreds of men with her own two hands. She'd thought she was immune to shock.

Losing thirty years of age from eating a mushroom dish, however, ranked right up near the top of her small list of things which could shake her. She could be forgiven fainting, given the impossibility of what she'd experienced.

oOo

Benny smiled as he closed down his PC, catching a last glimpse of Jane's smiling face on his desktop before the machine shot down. At the sound of his footsteps, Revy opened on eye to briefly look at him where she lounged on the couch. He crossed the threshold of the Black Lagoon company's office to the small kitchen where Rock was frying up mushrooms, onions, and tofu in teriyaki sauce.

"How's it coming?" The blond asked his fellow noncombatant, glancing into the fry pan. Rock flashed him a small grin.

"It should be ready soon. Revy was nice enough to go out to the store to replace the bad mushrooms I got, so... Once Dutch gets here, we'll be able to eat," Rock said. He flicked one of the smaller mushrooms onto his flipper with a wooden spoon, holding it out to Benny. "Here, let me know what you think."

"I'm not going to complain about sampling the chef's cooking," Benny grinned, taking the mushroom.

"Hey, what the fuck is up with that shit!? Rock, you smacked my hand with that damned spoon of yours when I tried to grab one of those mushrooms just a minute ago!" Revy growled from the couch.

"A minute ago the mushrooms weren't ready. Now they are," the Japanese man told her with a smug smile. The dark-haired Chinese-American woman got up with a snarl, intending to visit a small amount of pain on the poor bastard for his transgression.

Ignoring what was, after all, a daily ritual for those two, Benny popped the mushroom into his mouth. Rock sure did cook well. The mushroom was juicy, retaining the tangy bite of the teriyaki and layering it with several spices the tall man couldn't readily identify.

Well, he thought he was tall. Why was Revy, storming past him to the office's small kitchen, now taller than him? More importantly, why had his pants just fallen down?

"Uh, guys?" Benny asked, wincing as he heard his voice squeak. It hadn't done that since puberty. He turned to see the astonished looks Revy and Rock were flashing him.

"Holy shit," Revy stated bluntly, her hand still grasping the front of Rock's shirt. A small thread of smoke curled up from the high heat of the pan as Rock stopped stirring, opting instead to stare at the short blond.

"What's going on?" Benny wondered, his hand flying to his throat.

"Rock, on second thought, I'm not sure I want any of that," the gun-woman muttered, releasing her grip to walk up to the communications expert of Lagoon Company. Her hand slapped the top of his head, before traveling levelly to her collarbone. "Holy shit, Benny! You're a kid again!"

"I don't believe this," said kid yelped, reaching down to pull up his pants. He tried tightening his belt to keep the trousers up, only to discover that his belt didn't notch quite that tight. "Rock, what the hell did you cook?"

"It's just a Japanese recipe! It's not the fucking fountain of youth or anything!" Rock protested, his gaze turning to the woman next to the young boy in question. His eyes narrowed. "Revy, where the hell did you get these ingredients!?"

"Don't blame this fuck up on me, Rock! I just went to Tong's market to pick up the stuff, like I do every time I have to go shopping!" Revy snarled, storming up to the man. She jabbed him in the chest. "This wouldn't have happened if you'd gone anywhere but Mohommad's place anyway!"

The argument ground to a halt as the door to the office opened. Clad in oil-stained clothes, one of Dutch's eyebrows raised over his sunglasses.

"Who's the kid?" He asked smoothly, indicating Benny.

"This is going to sound weird, Dutch," Benny tried, wincing again as his voice cracked.

"What the fuck... Is that you, Benny?" Dutch pondered quietly, shaking his head as the stricken young teenager just nodded. "Well, this is certainly quite the predicament."

oOo

Across town, two nuns sat down to eat their meal after a hard day's work. A few bites into the mushroom risotto, Yolanda and Eda discovered quite an interesting fact: They looked nearly identical to one another when they were seventeen years old.

Yolanda was happy about being young again. Who wouldn't have been, in her position?

Eda, on the other hand, was furious. She'd just gotten to the point where she'd forgotten just what it was like to be an older teenager. She was not happy about being reminded of her days at a shitty American high school doing shitty cheer leading.

In the mess hall, certain altar boys noted that they'd shrunk an inch or two. They didn't really care.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Balalaika being hit with the mushrooms was obvious. Benny not so much, especially the age he got hit with. Yolanda and Eda both? That was for all the jokes I'm going to get to crack about the fact they look quite similar now.

So... Gretel. Put simply, this sub-plot's a late addition. Originally I had no intention of bringing her back. Then I got into a discussion with my beta-reader for Ripples of a Chaotic Pebble about Black Lagoon. I mentioned something about finding it sad that Gretel, at least, didn't get a happier ending than a bullet to the back of the head. She was practically home free when it happened, after all.

My beta-reader told me it was pretty well _impossible _to give Gretel a happy ending anybody would buy. So... Amber? Challenge accepted.


	6. Chapter 6

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 6

oOo

"Well, that could have gone better," Ryouga noted as he and Ranma pulled themselves into the communal showers. Both boys were covered in red paint and bruises, thanks to the hundreds of rounds of paint fired from the MP5s held by Chang's men. When they stopped dodging after getting tagged, sometimes stray fire would thump into them as their partner dodged around.

Those were only minor irritations. The main injuries both boys laboured under were mostly self-inflicted, thanks to being dragged around by their partners. Hitting the side of a shipping container at high speeds was never good for one's internal structure.

"Oh man! If it weren't for these stupid bracer things, we'd be fine! Even you're fast enough, and those guys weren't even half as accurate as that tomboy the other night!" Ranma growled, peeling off the formerly white t-shirt and throwing it into a nearby laundry hamper.

"Well, we do have to learn to fight like this, Ranma. There's no point in complaining like a girl!" Ryouga snapped, turning on the water for his shower.

"Who's a girl?" Ranma snarled in response, crossing his arms and glaring. Ryouga put his hand to the shower head, diverting one of the streams of water at Ranma. The pigtailed girl learned, then and there, that Ryouga had been taking advantage of the lock on his curse to shower in cold water. "Hey!"

"Quit it, Ranma. I'm pretty sure Chang'd get angry if we wrecked his place," Ryouga growled, turning his attention back to his shower. The pigtailed girl stomped over to a stall of her own, turning on the hot water and reverting to her natural form.

"So how long do you figure it's going to take us to get used to all of this crap?" Ranma wondered, scrubbing himself. He discovered that the paint was rather stubborn, some of it having had hours to cake on.

"We should get used to fighting alongside one another soon. We already know one another's moves, so..." The Lost Boy trailed off, finally shifting the deliciously cold water over to hot to help loosen the coloring on his skin. He rubbed for a moment before muttering, "What the hell do they put in this paint, anyway?"

"We probably don't wanna know," his blue-eyed partner said with a grin, working the rough cloth over his face. After a moment, he chucked the red thing into the hamper. "Screw it. Ryouga, we're going to have to get some paint thinner if we want to get this crap off."

"Paint thinner? That stuff will leave us reeking of chemicals for days!" Ryouga protested, barely having time to shut the water off before Ranma reached the door, wrapping a towel around his midsection.

"Don't forget it's gonna sting when we rub the paint off the places where we've got cuts. Or the eyes: I know I'm going to be swearing like crazy when I try to get this crap off of my forehead," Ranma commiserated, then grinned and slapped Ryouga on the shoulder. "Truly the life of a martial artist _is_ fraught with peril."

"Ranma, you don't need to act like an idiot because your father's not here," the brown-eyed boy grunted, shrugging off the other youth's arm.

"Idiot!? Hey, take that back!"

oOo

"Okay, seriously. We need to figure this out," Benny said sternly, eyeing his co-workers and doing his best to instill a sense of urgency.

Of course, the fact that the only thing in the office which fit was the horrible shirt Revy bought for Rock nearly a year ago didn't help. Nor did the fact that he had a strangely-shaped bulge around his waist where the excess fabric of his pants was now bunched up thanks to his belt. The eight inches of leather flopping around lent him no air of superiority.

Benny realized, on second thought, that the fact it was only Revy laughing was probably about the best he could hope for.

"So seriously. Rock, we've figured out it can't be your recipe. You've made it before for yourself a dozen times since coming to Roanapur, right?" Benny asked, getting a confirming nod from Rock. At least he wasn't smiling. Much. "Alright then... Revy, you said you got the mushrooms from Tong's market, right?"

"Yeah," the woman gasped, then froze. "Oh shit!"

"What?" Rock asked, ghost of a smile fading.

"Eda and Sis might have been hit with this shit, too!" Revy snapped, eyes meeting Rock's.

"I'll call Hotel Moscow," Rock replied, already moving towards the phone. While Revy was certainly on good terms with Balalaika, the same couldn't be said about Balalaika's soldiers. The Japanese man, on the other hand, was well known to them and any warnings he gave would immediately be considered.

"I guess I should call the bitch and the old hag," Revy muttered, straightening. She walked over to Benny's old shirt, fishing out his cell-phone.

"Oh man, this is crazy," The blond American teen muttered to himself, walking back over to his computer to switch it on. A large shadow fell across the screen, causing the young man to turn his head. "Can you believe this, Dutch?"

"It's probably one of the more messed up things I've seen," the black man admitted neutrally. He went over to the fridge, grabbing two cans out of it and returning. Cracking open a Heireken, Benny looked at his boss curiously as Dutch handed him a can of cream soda.

"What's this for?" Benny wondered. Sure, he liked cream soda, but...

"Now now, a kid like you probably shouldn't be drinking," Dutch said, managing to keep his face completely straight.

"Dutch, the legal drinking age in Roanapur is 'whenever you don't need a sippy-cup to drink beer'," the blond muttered. The man behind him just raised an eyebrow and flashed the ghost of a grin. Benny popped the tab on the can of soda. "Whatever."

The American opened his email program, preparing to type a message to his girlfriend. He'd typed seven words when he stopped, turning in his chair to face his boss.

"I can't really tell Jane about this problem, can I?" Benny muttered, deadpan.

"Not if you want to keep your girlfriend," Dutch remarked, crushing the empty can of beer and tossing it into a wastebasket.

"Wonderful. She's going to get a little curious if I suddenly stop sending her pictures and videos, you know," the teenager said with a grimace, turning and clicking on a random email.

"Shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact that she's supposed to come visit in five days?" Dutch wondered, reading the email the young man had clicked. At the horrified look on his communications tech's face, he patted him on the back. "On second thought, you probably could use a beer, huh?"

Crossing the office to the fridge, Revy's quiet conversation suddenly grew loud with the Chinese-American thug's laughter.

"Oh man, you got hit!?" Revy snorted, trying to fight down her laughter enough to actually speak. She wasn't entirely successful. "So let... let me get this *snicker* straight: You, the old bitch and half of your altar boys all got hit? So how's it like to be thirteen again?"

Too quiet for anyone else to hear, the person on the other end of the line spoke.

"No fucking way!" Revy snarled. She gripped the phone and glared at the mouthpiece as if the action would carry through the lines to the other end. "Look Eda, save some of that shit! Benny looks like he's twelve again and I doubt he'd think being four or five years older would be worse!"

She pulled the phone to her head and listened for a little while longer.

"What the fuck do you mean we can buy it if we're lucky!?" Benny winced Revy snarled, opening his bank account and checking the balance. He'd saved up a pretty decent amount, now that he looked at it. "What do mean, bidding starts tomorrow!?"

The dark-haired woman closed the cell-phone with a hiss of annoyance, turning her glare on the blond at his computer.

"I hope you've got a bit of cash hanging around, Benny," Revy huffed, sitting down on the couch, deflated. "Eda and the other bitch figured the mushrooms out, same as us. They figure their stuff turned them around seventeen, which is a lot more marketable than turning someone into a snot-nosed kid, I guess. That cunt Yolanda's been spreading word around town and they're going to be auctioning the rest of their mushrooms off tomorrow morning."

"We'll probably see Balalaika there," Rock piped in, hanging up the phone. He sat down on a chair. "Luckily for Hotel Moscow, Balalaika was the only one affected, really. Unfortunately they assumed it was a poison of some sort in the dish and only saved a tiny sample for testing before torching the rest."

"I bet Balalaika's not happy about hearing that," Dutch noted, sipping another beer. Rock nodded.

"She says she's probably around fifteen, if her memory is correct. She says it's hard to tell though, since her hair wasn't as long then as it is now and she didn't have her scars the first time she was that age," the Japanese man noted. He flashed Benny a slight grin. "On the bright side, Benny, I might be able to talk her into parting with one of the mushrooms if she wins the auction tomorrow."

"Thanks for the thought, Rock, but I'm not exactly sure I want to bet having to wait four years to fit my old clothes again on Balalaika's good will," Benny snorted, turning back to his computer. "I think I'm going to be withdrawing a lot of money from my bank today, just in case."

"I'll take out a bit of money as well. It'll be a problem for the company if our tech support can't reach his computer when he needs to," Dutch informed the group, moving to the door.

"Rock, you're saving the mushrooms, right?" Benny asked worriedly.

"Yep. They're in the fridge. I've even got some I haven't cooked yet," Rock replied.

"Those will probably be the key to fixing this whole mess," the blond noted, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Hey, aren't you under-aged?" Revy wondered with an evil grin.

"That joke wasn't funny when Dutch made it, Revy," Benny snorted, popping the tab on the drink and chugging it.

oOo

"This is your brother?" The officer asked, nodding towards the sketch the police artist had drawn according to the young girl's memory. He was an Asian man in his early twenties, with short, mussed brown hair. His eyes were wide and kind, and the medical patient made a point of mentioning that her brother wore a white shirt and tie.

"Are you sure you're related to him?" The officer asked her kindly. Her European features contrasted sharply with the man in the sketch. He could have been any of a thousand Japanese tourists, taking a week off from their salaried positions.

The young girl shook her head once, wincing at the headache which came whenever she tried to remember anything.

"I'm not sure. I remember... I'm... an orphan? Maybe I was adopted..." The girl finally admitted. She shook her head, white blond ponytail whipping into and out of her vision. "I'm sorry I can't remember any more."

"It's alright. This should help. I'll run this past some of my friends in the inter-city relations department. Maybe I'll get a hit," the officer said, nodding once to the sketch artist, who left to scan the image into his computer. "Now, have you had any luck remembering your name?"

"Nope," the girl admitted, shaking her head. The officer chuckled, rumpling her hair.

"Maybe we should call you Gretel. The story gets you smiling whenever I read it," the officer mused, scratching his chin.

"Gretel," the girl tried, frowning. A flash of something jarred her memory. Pain? Something red. Something warm and no longer livi- She slammed a door on the memory. "I'm not sure that name's quite right."

"Then what about Greta?" He grinned at the small smile on the girl's face. "Okay, you like that name. Until we figure out who you really are, you're Greta. Does that sound right?"

"I like Greta," the girl admitted.

Greta didn't bring the bad things to the door in her mind. She didn't want to think of herself as Gretel. The name being associated with her brought a dark chill.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Part of the problem with wanting to write Ranma/Ryouga scenes right now is that all they're going to be doing for the next several days is training with Chang's thugs shooting several different types of weapons their way. There's only so many ways I can make "Ranma and Ryouga get shot with paint bullets" interesting.

The other problem is the requirement for a lot of exposition here, which I only made worse by starting to plant the seeds necessary for the return of Gretel. I mean, I could just have the elements show up a chapter or two before they come back, but I feel that not building things up properly is a poor way of telling a story.

On the bright side, these disjointed chapters are at an end. The characters have been more-or-less introduced and their status in Roanapur (or elsewhere) established for the foreseeable future. Next chapter is going to focus entirely on the auction and after that, the first arc begins!

And no, Heireken is not a typo. That's the brand of beer everyone in Roanapur drinks. :P


	7. Chapter 7

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 7

oOo

Benny yawned as he woke up, stretching. That was odd, he noted to himself: He'd fallen asleep at his computer. He never did that anymore. What would have caused him to-

Then the hangover hit full force.

"What... the fuck?" The thirteen year old boy gasped, sitting up straight and wincing at the excessively bright sunlight coming in through the narrow gap between the blinds and his window sill. He glanced at the pile of beer cans on his desk.

His pile of four cans. His stomach churned at the sight of them.

"How the hell did five beers do this to me?" The poor boy groaned, getting up from his chair and wandering into the kitchen. He grabbed a burrito out of the freezer and tossed it into the microwave before chugging down a cup of orange juice in a bid to tame the migraine pounding the his head with every heartbeat.

He caught sight of his reflection in the stainless-steel side of his coffee maker, noting his adolescent features.

"Oh right. That's how five beers could do this to me," he grumbled. With a ding, the microwave announced that the greasy wrap filled with fried beans was done. He grabbed the meal as he walked to the hook he habitually left the car keys on, his free hand reaching out to grab them.

They weren't there. Then he remembered being pulled over by the police. Remembered Rock having to drive the car. Remembered Rock agreeing to take the car overnight so Benny wouldn't have to deal with the frustration of getting pulled over in the morning and possibly missing the auction which just might solve his problem.

He sighed, pulling his cellphone from the pocket of his jeans and dialed.

"Hey Rock? You want to come pick me up in half an hour so I can hit the bank before we go up to the church?"

oOo

Shenhua resisted the urge to bang her head on the steering wheel. This was not what she needed to start her day. This day was supposed to be simple, easy. In fact Chang had told her that, ferrying the boys to and from their meeting with Wong Fei Chin aside, she could have the entire day off.

It was supposed to be a fun day. An hour or two of driving the two idiots around, drop them off back at the Triad's compound, and then an afternoon at the spa before going to see the doctor and getting her wounds checked. She was eager to get rid of the stitches, but pissed off that she'd now have a quartet of round scars running down her back three inches to the left of her spine.

Whatever the day was supposed to have been, the annoyed boys returning after a moment of glancing at a note on the door was not a part of it. Learning that Wong Fei Chin had essentially wandered away from a meeting booked by the Triad Boss was easily the second worst news she'd heard all day.

The worst news, of course, was that the place she now had to go to was the Ripoff Church. Most people in Roanapur were rather pragmatic... Enemies one day, allies the next. Someone you exchanged gunfire with one day might be the person you trusted to watch your back the next. It went with the territory.

Still, the Taiwanese woman wasn't looking forward to running into the stupid blond nun again. She wasn't looking forward to that at all.

"So how far is this place, anyway?" Ranma pondered from the backseat, for the fifth time.

"I tell you before, we get there when we there!" Shenhua snapped, glaring at the annoying boy in the rear-view mirror. Not for the first time that morning, she prayed for the day her injuries were healed so that she could use her kukris against the pigtailed boy behind her.

"It's not too far, is it?"

No, today was not turning out pleasantly at all.

oOo

The area behind the chapel of the Church of Violence was a small outdoor gym, one which normally only saw use by one of the Church's residents. Sister Yolanda had never deigned to touch the equipment Eda had purchased, and the young men responsible for maintaining the grounds were all worked hard enough moving various items that the idea of spending their free time sweating was completely foreign to them.

That resident was there now, grunting as she worked with a small set of free weights. A smaller set than she usually used, to her disgruntlement. Another blond woman joined her, jogging around the corner and panting slightly as she rested against the stand holding the weights.

"That's still pretty fucking weird, Sister. I don't think I'm going to get used to that any time soon," Eda remarked, puffing as she lifted her arms parallel to the ground, the strain fueling the slow, steady burn she'd been working towards since she started.

"What's that, my dear?" Her slightly heavier-set doppleganger asked with a sly grin, wiping the sweat from her brow with a towel. "The fact I look quite a bit like you, or the fact that I'm jogging?"

"Both," The other blond grunted, setting down the dumbbells with a grunt. She caught the towel as Yolanda threw it to her. "I'm surprised you took to jogging at all, sister. You've been living a sedentary lifestyle for so long I assumed..."

"...that I had no interest whatsoever in losing a few pounds?" Yolanda asked with a smirk. She shook her head, taking a lighter set of dumbbells than Eda had been using from the rack. She started doing flies before continuing. "It's not so much that I had no interest, but that my age precluded it. I don't like this extra baggage any more than any other woman, Eda."

"At least people will be able to tell us apart until you fix that," Eda noted slyly, grinning at the scowl her superior shot her way. She picked up the dumbbells once more, curling the weights tight to her biceps before slowly lowering them again. "At least you got something out of this. All I've noticed is that I'm scrawnier and weaker than I'm used to."

"I'm sure that once you train yourself a bit, you'll find the advantages outweigh the disadvantages," The mentally older blond told her workout partner smugly, grunting with her latest repetition. Lost in the rhythm of the weights, neither woman spoke for long moments.

"So, you really think people are going to buy that story we've been feeding them?" Eda pondered, racking her weights and bouncing from foot to foot as she prepared for another jog. Yolanda flashed her a broad smile.

"My dear when they see Balalaika the bidding is going to get quite intense. They might have assumed that you and I were actors hired by our 'real' selves to promote some scam, but they'll show up out of interest if nothing else," the Church's head admitted, switching to bicep curls without stopping. "However, the Russian will be a different story: She'll be proof positive that those things really do work as advertised.

"Then we'll have them, Eda," the blond concluded, setting her weights down on the rack. She grinned. "Another lap around the church, then?"

"The sooner I'm not gasping for breath every time I've got to sprint, the better," Eda snorted, matching the other blond's pace as they left the workout area.

oOo

Balalaika glared at the offending item in her hand, trying her best not to retch. Across the limo from her, her Sergeant stared incredulously as she coughed. And coughed. And coughed some more.

"Capitan?" Boris ventured, sounding a touch nervous. "Are... Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Sergeant," the blond Russian snapped, a trifle harder than she intended. She reigned in her emotions, cursing the hormones which now flooded her body. "It seems that in addition to ruining my composure, this problem has also effected my ability to enjoy the simplest of pleasures."

"I see," the man said noncommittally, glancing out the window. After a moment he glanced back. "Capitan, are you sure that going to this auction is a good idea? What if it makes you younger? Or kills you? How do you know these things will work twice?"

"I've thought of that, Sergeant," the young woman replied with a nasty grin. "I'm sure that Dutch and his crew are going to show up to help that computer expert of theirs. His case is more severe than mine, according to our friends at the Lagoon Company. After I win the auction, Rock will no doubt try to convince me to part with one of the mushrooms.

"I'll make a show of rejecting the idea so that the silly boy knows his place, but in the end I'll allow him to convince me." Balalaika stubbed out the unsmokeable cigar in the ashtray at her side, folding her hands in her lap and leaning back. "I'll charge Benny for the mushroom I give him and allow him to be the first to try it out."

"So if it works and brings him closer to his original age, you'll know that the mushrooms are safe," Boris mused, nodding once. "And if it turns out that the mushrooms can only work one way, you're no worse than you are now."

"Everything will go according to plan, Sergeant. You'll see," Balalaika said with a small sigh. "I do feel bad about manipulating poor Rock like this, however."

"Really?" The huge man asked, a heavy look of skepticism plain on his face.

"A _tiny _bit," Balalaika admitted with a feral grin.

oOo

"Oh man... This is not good," Benny muttered to Rock as the car pulled up to the Ripoff Church. The Japanese man nodded glumly, noting all the other cars parked along the roadside. Well over a dozen cars of various makes lined both shoulders of the road, and a variety of prominent older men and women of Roanapur milled outside the church chapel.

"Hey, there's that bitch from above Bao's place," Revy noted, pointing from the backseat towards the crowd.

"This is insane. There's no fucking way I'm going to win this auction," the blond American noted glumly, clutching the bag with the money he'd withdrawn to his chest. He glanced over at Rock. "So, you really think if Balalaika wins this thing you'll be able to convince her to share the goods?"

"Are you kidding?" Revy snorted, elbowing Dutch. "Benny, Rock has my Sis wrapped around his pinky finger, don't you?"

"I wouldn't put it like that," Rock said, pausing for a moment as his hand touched the keys of the car. He looked into the rear-view mirror. "Especially not where Balalaika could ever hear it, Revy."

"What are you talking about? You talked her out of killing you, didn't you?" Revy snorted, crossing her arms and returning the level look. "Around here, talking Sis outta killing you when her blood's up like that after challenging her is winning the fucking Nobel Peace Prize. I'm sure you'll do fine, Rock."

"Your faith is overwhelming," Rock muttered, turning the ignition and shutting off the car.

Ten minutes later, the church hadn't yet opened.

"Benny. Worst case scenario, you don't win the auction and Rock fails to convince Balalaika," Dutch noted to his employee as they all finally piled out of the car. He patted the young teenager on the shoulder. "Besides, half these guys probably didn't bring nearly as much as you did. They probably figure it's some scam. They don't call this the Ripoff Church for nothing, you know?"

"Your faith in my clergy is overwhelming, Dutchy-boy," a voice noted from behind the group. They turned to see a young blond woman in a nun's habit. A woman who, save for a slightly thicker figure than normal, could have been Eda. Yet the nickname...

"Sister Yolanda?" Rock sputtered, finally connecting the dots.

"Now that's some fucked up shit," Dutch noted, eyeing the woman critically.

"Glad you boys could join us. You too, Rebecca," Yolanda said, nodding once. She cast her gaze over the assembled crowd, finally spotting a black limo down the street. "Oh, and the lovely Ms. Balalaika will be joining us in a moment! I suppose we should get everything ready to begin, then!"

Without another word, the young woman walked away.

"You were eyeing her pretty hard there, Dutch. Isn't she a little young for an old man like you?" Benny dug in, grinning at the glare his boss shot his way. If the black man wanted to make jokes about age, the computer expert was more than happy to pay him back in his own coin.

Across the street, Balalaika emerged from her limo, causing a lot of gasps.

"I see. Now I know why she waited for Balalaika," Rock mused, rubbing his chin.

"What do you mean?" Revy wondered, crossing her arms.

"Everybody knows the Church of Violence's reputation. It probably occured to everyone that these magical age-defying mushrooms were a scam of some sort. Trusting Yolanda and Eda about something like this wouldn't be the first inclination a lot of these people would have," Rock informed the group, nodding towards Benny. "Even you could be a lookalike hired by the Lagoon Company to help the Church with their scam. Everyone knows how friendly Revy and Eda are."

"Friendly's not the word," Revy interrupted darkly.

"However," Rock continued, ignoring his partner, "Balalaika is well known to be above these sort of petty scams if they are, in fact, petty scams. Furthermore, the scars she has on her face, shoulders, and chest are distinctive. Combined with the fact not even the Church would dare to impersonate her, and..."

"...and everyone who was a skeptic is convinced as soon as she steps out of her car," Dutch grunted, starting towards the chapel. "Well, that's just fucking great. Come on. We'd better get in there. The sooner we can get this auction over with, the better."

oOo

Eda glanced out over the assembled crowd in the church pews, many holding a fan hand-inked with numbers by Rico or one of the other altar boys. She turned as she heard a side door open, Sister Yolanda slipping inside with a whisper.

"Would you like to do the honors, Sister Eda?" Yolanda asked, gesturing grandly towards the altar at the front of the church. The young woman nodded to her doppleganger with a grin.

"Glad to," the other teenager admitted. Yolanda smiled.

"I'll have Rico bring the leftovers from the kitchen," the thicker woman said, patting the slimmer teen on the shoulder. "Remember to start the bidding low. This whole auction is really going to come down to Balalaika and Dutch's boy anyway, so let them drive the price up by themselves."

"Of course, Sister," Eda said respectfully, moving into the chapel itself. The whispers of the crowd died down as she approached the microphone, and she cleared her throat once to get everyone's attention. They all sat up a little straighter in anticipation, she noticed. "I'm sure you all know why you're here. The Church has come across a special dish which apparently reduces a person's age. As if Sister Yolanda and myself weren't enough proof... Benny, could you please stand up?"

The short blond teen blushed as everyone turned to face him, though he complied and stood. Eda didn't have to mention Balalaika, as she almost felt everyone in the room making a conscious effort not to turn and stare at the Russian woman. They all knew her temper.

"Now, we really don't have much of this stuff left. Unfortunately, by the time we figured out it was the soup which did it to us we'd served almost all of it out. Fortunately for all of you wonderful citizens of Roanapur, we do have one batch which the Church guarantees will change you back into a teenager or your money back!" Eda announced, getting a mild cheer from everyone present. "Alright, so without further ado, let's begin! We'll start the bidding at ten thousand dollars!"

"Ten thousand!" Benny yelled, the young teen's skinny arm shooting into the air.

"Fifteen," Balalaika said calmly, raising one hand.

"Twenty-five!" Bellowed Madame Flora. Eda grinned at that, wondering if the obese owner of the Sloppy Swing was looking to extend her own career.

"Thirty!" Benny countered, again waving his hand.

"Forty," the Russian gang mistress called lightly, relaxing into her chair.

Eda noted smugly that most of the crowd was looking pained. Clearly they hadn't thought competition for some silly mushrooms would be so fierce.

"Forty thousand is the bid," Eda noted, casting her gaze around the crowd. "Do I hear fifty?"

"Fifty!" Flora yelled, her voice a little desperate. Eda noted the way Benny winced at the development.

"Sixty," Balalaika noted, not a care in the world.

"Sevent-five," Benny cried miserably, holding his bag.

"The bid is seventy-five thousand United States dollars, people," Eda called out, getting a lot of dirty looks in return. "Do I hear eighty? Eighty thousand dollars? Anyone?"

"One hundred thousand dollars!" Flora yelled, standing up and heaving. Benny's face dropped to meet his hands as they rose, the young teen groaning loud enough for Eda to hear it at the front of the chapel. The fat woman cast a victorious sneer towards Balalaika.

"One hundred and fifty thousand dollars," the Russian teenager said with a nasty grin, raising one eyebrow challengingly. With a sob, Flora pushed her way past several men sharing the pew with her and fled the church.

"One hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Do I hear one hundred and sixty?" Eda asked, only hearing Benny groan out loud once more. "One hundred and fifty going once! Going twice! Sold, to Balalaika for one hundred and fifty thousand dollars!"

As she slammed a candlestick onto the altar, most of the crowd got up and left. Accepting the cash from Boris and nodding to Yolanda, who handed over the tupperware container to Balalaika, Eda wondered just what the Lagoon crew had up their sleeves to be hanging around.

She knew they weren't going to try to rob the Hotel Moscow leader, so what was their plan?

oOo

"You're up, buddy," Dutch noted as they stood at the entrance of the chapel, watching Balalaika speak with Sister Yolanda. Rock nodded to the man, flashing a small grin to Benny.

"Hey, trust me. I can handle this," Rock said, earning only another defeated groan before walking up the aisle towards Balalaika. She glanced up but didn't say anything as he approached, merely giving him a studied look of curiousity. Rock knew anyone trying that hard was acting, and a plan began to form. "I was wondering if I could take a look at their dish?"

"You're trustworthy enough, I suppose," Balalaika said lightly, lifting the lid on the container. Inside a thin beef broth, two full mushrooms floated amidst some ground beef and other vegetables. "Was there any particular reason you wanted to see this?"

"Naturally I was wondering if we could come to an arrangement. As I'm sure you can see, Benny has been afflicted by the same problem you have," Rock said lightly, forcing himself not to smile at the slight nod Balalaika gave. He wasn't yet sure why, but he could tell she wanted the conversation to head in the direction he was taking it. "As you know thanks to my phone call, it's the mushrooms which cause the change. You have two, yet you only need one."

"Indeed, I do believe you're right," Balalaika noted, as if it had just occured to her. Rock wanted to snort. Balalaika was a great thinker and a great strategist, but she was really playing against herself with this whole innocence act. "What was it Benny last bid? Seventy-five thousand? I suppose I could part with one of these two mushrooms for that much. Have him bring the cash to me and I'll give him one right here."

Which clinched it for Rock. He knew what she was up to. Thankfully, he was pretty sure he was a better actor than her at the studied innocence thing.

"Thank you, Balalaika. You're very kind," Rock noted. He bowed slightly. "If you'll excuse me, I'll let Benny know the good news and bring him here so we can make the exchange."

Rock hid his grin until he turned to face his friends, walking up to them.

"I don't like that look in your eye. You got that same fucking look when you came up with that plan to take out the helicopter when we first met," Dutch told him, crossing his arms. "I don't think I need to tell you that fucking with Balalaika is not a good idea."

"Trust me. Benny, she says it's a go. She's going to need the seventy-five thousand from you, though," Rock told him, grinning.

"I suppose I should be grateful I've even managed to get one," Benny said, grumbling as he picked up the heavy bag at his feet.

"Trust me. If you're lucky, you'll get that back before we leave," Rock noted, his grin not slipping in the least.

"Rock, what part of fucking with Balalaika is a bad idea didn't you get?" Dutch asked, crossing his arms. Rock turned his gaze to Dutch and smiled.

"No, that's the beautiful thing. If I do this right, she's going to think she's fucking with us."

"This can only end fucking _badly_," Revy hissed through a false smile, noting Balalaika glancing curiously in their direction.

"Trust me," Rock repeated, grabbing Benny's arm and leading him back to Balalaika.

oOo

"He's up to something," Boris noted quietly as Rock spoke with the trio on the other end of the chapel.

"Of course he is. That boy does have a lot of audacity to even think about trying anything... But I hold all the cards. He's probably figured out that I'm using Benny to test the effects of these things a second time, yet he knows that this is his friend's best hope," Balalaika noted, grinning. "Everything will be fine, Sergeant."

"Hm," he grunted as Rock returned, towing the young teenager along with him.

"Here's the money, Balalaika," Benny said nervously, handing over the bag in his hands. Boris took the bag with a nod.

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you," the Russian woman said, removing the lid of the container and holding out the beef and mushroom soup. Rock eyed the contents for a moment before plucking out a mushroom and handing it to his comrade. Benny accepted it, nervously glancing towards Rock.

The Japanese man nodded, and with a sigh the blond American popped the mushroom into his mouth as Balalaika and Rock both watched intently. After a moment's hesitation, he chewed and swallowed. He fell to the floor gasping, reaching for his belt. With a strangled cry he jerked it loose, then stood. He was older. Probably as much as eighteen.

"Perfect," Balalaika noted, pulling the other mushroom from the container. She loosened the belt on her skirt just a touch, then ate her mushroom. She was flashing Rock a victorious smirk as she felt the change sweep over her.

Then her skirt fell down to her ankles as she shrunk an inch, her waistline shrinking even more. Thankfully her shirt was long enough to spare her the ultimate indignity of flashing her underwear to everyone assembled, but it was a near thing. Boris quickly moved in front of Balalaika to shield her while she pulled her skirt up.

Barely noticing the growing confusion and rage on her face, Rock nodded to himself, muttering, "I see."

"You see what? Why didn't it work for me?" Balalaika demanded, glaring at the Japanese man.

"Excuse me for a moment, I'd just like to confirm something," Rock said, eyes lost in thought. Balalaika reigned in her growing anger at the whole situation as the dark-haired man crossed to doorway where Eda and Yolanda watched, speaking quietly with them for a moment. He returned to Balalaika, the smile on his face absolutely devious. "So, that's it."

"What. Is. It?" Balalaika asked.

"Balalaika, it's not the way the mushrooms were prepared which determines the age they switch someone to. It's another factor, one I've finally figured out," Rock informed her smugly, gesturing to Benny. "It was pretty obvious after seeing the change to Benny."

"You tricked me," Balalaika accused dangerously, feeling the familiar rage start to numb her extremities.

"No, you tricked yourself. Frankly I'm surprised, Balalaika. You usually plan better than this," the infuriating young man informed her. Boris very casually shifted his feet, preparing for violence. Behind Rock, Revy was now stalking towards the front, her stance mimicing Boris' own. Rock ignored it all, staring the Russian girl in the eyes. "You were using Benny as a testbed to see if the mushrooms had an adverse effect on him. For all I know, it could just be that it works as a cure for men and doesn't for women because you lack a Y chromosome. I might not have the answer."

"You do. I can see it in your face," Balalaika hissed.

"Perhaps," Rock said, grinning. "Now, the Lagoon Company is always happy to take Hotel Moscow on as a client. Isn't that right, Dutch?"

When Balalaika turned her glare on the man, he had the good sense to look like this church, right at this moment, was the last fucking place he ever wanted to be. Benny similarily looked thoroughly uncomfortable, and even Revy was glancing between the two Russians with caution. Turning her glare back on Rock, she noted that the impudent little bastard was unconcerned.

"Now, we have a small supply of the mushrooms. Our only guarantee is that they'll turn you a year younger than you are, just as the one you ate right now did. Obviously after today's problem, you're probably less than eager to try again without knowledge of what might happen. Am I right?" Rock wondered calmly.

"You are," Balalaika ground out.

"Well, I suppose if you'd like I could act as a consultant to you on the mushroom which might restore you to an age similar to Benny here," Rock noted, hands in his pockets. "Of course, I'm going to have to insist on a fee."

"Boris," Balalaika snapped, and the man glanced at her for a second before handing the bag to Rock.

"Benny, I owe you for something or another, don't I? This should just about cover it," Rock said, his eyes never leaving Balalaika's as he handed the tall American his cash.

Balalaika leaned forward.

"You played me, didn't you. Right from the moment you knew I'd be bidding, you've been using that twisted little mind of yours to observe everything around you," Balalaika said, her voice low. Rock's eyes didn't flinch, nor did he nod, but the slight quirking of his lips upward was all the confirmation Balalaika needed. "You're playing with fire, Rock."

"It seems to be a symptom of living in this city, Balalaika," Rock told her, allowing his face to blossom into a grin. An intense heat rose in her chest at the sight, curiously not accompanied by the desire to claw his face off.

"Time for you to earn your fee. I expect it back if you're wrong, of course," Balalaika said, leaning back and lightening her voice to a more conversational tone.

"As always, I won't disappoint," Rock told her simply, spinning on his heel and leading the way out of the church.

oOo

Shenhua wanted to scream. The only people at the church were the Sisters and their altar boys. That bastard Wong Fei Chin was nowhere to be found.

"I guess we just missed him," Ryouga noted from the passenger seat.

"Good job, lady. You drove so slow we missed him! Now we gotta go all the way back to Roanapur's downtown! Augh! We should have just waited!" Ranma complained.

"Shut fuck up, stupid boy! If wait for- then it-" Shenhua sputtered, her English skills rapidly abandoning her as her anger grew beyond its boiling point. She switched to Chinese. "I swear I'm going to gut you with my kukris and use your intestines as a skipping rope as soon as my wounds heal! I swear I will!"

"What? I didn't catch that," Ranma noted, cocking his ear. By the pale look on Ryouga's face, he'd understood. "Wanna try that in a language I understand, lady?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaugh!" Shenhua shrieked, slamming the steering wheel of her car over and over again.

The day had started out so promising, too.

oOo

Author's Notes:

So you'll notice I was talking about how Eda _lost _strength and endurance by getting younger. No doubt this confused a lot of people. Well here's the deal: People actually gain strength and endurance naturally as they age. Admittedly once people get past a certain point this goes away again, but between a person's mid-twenties to mid-thirties they're at their peak for those things. That's why a lot of athletes actually get better at certain sports as they get older and have to focus more on agility training than strength or endurance.

I screwed Balalaika over like that quite deliberately to give Rock a moment of utter Xanatos Badassedness. She's a great character but also a great manipulator. It doesn't come back and bite her in the ass nearly often enough for my tastes, so I decided to let her outsmart _herself _here and have Rock simply call her on it. I also wanted to highlight the fact that Rock is smarter than Balalaika despite the fact she's arrogant enough to believe the reverse: He puts together the drug and weapon smuggling she mentions once within _minutes _of knowing the Ripoff Church's existence, while Balalaika has had years of experience with them and never clues in. The only advantages she has over the boy are years of experience and ruthlessness.


	8. Chapter 8

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 8

oOo

"Note not there!" Shenhua cried, smiling broadly at the sight of Wong Fei Chin's door. Perhaps this day could still be salvaged, after all. The car screeched to a stop and the Taiwanese woman grinned in the mirror. "I drive fast enough for you, annoying boy?"

"...are you trying to _kill _us?" Ranma sputtered, gasping for breath now that the car had finally stopped.

"You say I drive too slow. So I drive fast, what problem?" The raven-maned woman asked.

"Ryouga, c'mon! Back me up, man!" Ranma sputtered, his gaze going to the empty seat on the passenger side. The pigtailed martial artist turned his gaze outside the car, noting Ryouga standing outside.

"Ranma, stop being a baby and get out the car," Ryouga muttered, looking at the building.

"Excuse me, Mr. Indestructible! Some of us might actually get hurt if the car crashes!" Ranma groaned, giving the woman in the driver's seat a dirty look before getting out. She followed, shutting her door.

"I go to coffee shop down road, you come get when finished, okay?" Without waiting for a reply, Shenhua walked off, swinging the keys around her index finger as she did.

oOo

Wong Fei Chin chuckled as he got out of his car, reminiscing about the last time he'd seen the mushrooms. Certainly he hadn't expected to see them in Roanapur, and going to the auction had been well worth it to verify their presence. Plus, Chang had mentioned on the phone that he had a "couple of boys" dropping by.

Fei Chin snorted at that. They could wait or come back another time. They'd probably be a pain in the ass when they got back: If they were lucky, he'd just use some of that dust he'd acquired in Egypt to confuse their memories. If they weren't...

Ah well.

The older Chinese man tore the note from his door as he unlocked it, throwing the crumpled paper into the wastebasket as he moved to his counter. Perching on his worn stool, he opened the Roanapur Daily and started reading.

He'd just gotten to the sports section when he heard a car screech up outside. Setting the paper aside, he walked to the window and used two fingers to spread open the blinds, observing the people outside his shop.

He recognized Shenhua in the driver's seat, of course. The girl was always so polite when she came by, though he supposed that had as much to do with her terrible English as anything. It was hard to have a conversation with someone when you were limited to the vocabulary of a ten-year-old, and he doubted most of Chang's men had the brains to discuss anything of importance.

The two boys were new. One, clad in a yellow shirt and green pants, practically dove out of the car as soon as it came to a complete stop, affecting an air of nonchalance once he realized that the car's occupants hadn't taken notice of his rapid escape. The other boy in the red shirt was rather stupidly yelling at Shenhua, and the shop owner wondered if she was going to eviscerate him now, or if she'd wait 'til he got out so she wouldn't have to clean the interior.

Surprisingly she did neither, instead walking off. Fei Chin then remembered her wounds and nodded to himself. Once the girl was back up to her usual self, he was sure she'd teach the whelp a lesson or two. Both boys watched her for a moment before turning and approaching the door.

Fei Chin quickly strode back to the stool, sitting and flipping the paper open just as the door did.

"Special customers only, boys. I'm pretty sure Chang knows that already," the old Chinese man grunted, shifting his baggy white t-shirt a bit as he spoke. He looked up when neither boy made a move to leave and nearly choked as he saw the bracers on their arms. "Well, you don't see those every day."

"Yo, old man... You know what these things do?" The boy in red asked, shaking the encased forearm for emphasis.

"I know what they're _supposed _to do, but I gather they've been causing you problems if you've come to see me about them," Fei Chin mused, rubbing his chin and setting his newspaper aside. He pointed at the bracers. "You two boys aren't exactly friendly with one another, are you?"

"Friends with him? Don't make me laugh!" The yellow-clad boy snorted, crossing his arms. "This has been an eternity already."

"Like I like it any better, pork-for-brains," the other boy muttered, crossing his arms.

"Well, that's the problem. I gather whoever put those on you two didn't know what he or she had. They probably messed up the binding aspect," Fei Chin said, leaning back to rest his shoulders on the wall behind him. "What he didn't know was that the bracers were actually originally designed to be placed one per arm like you're wearing them."

"Wait, if that's the case, then why are they making us stay together like this!?" The pigtailed boy cried, again shaking his forearm. "I ain't been able to get a moment's peace to myself ever since these things got locked on our arms!"

"That's the problem. The Bracers of Jian are an ancient Chinese artifact, used by the royalty of times past for political marriages," the old man chuckled at the growing horror on their faces. "They were designed, in part, to force their wearers to overcome their differences by being in constant proximity to one another. The only way you boys can step away from one another is if you're in love."

"In love..." The boy in yellow began, visibly turning green.

"...with him!?" The other boy screeched, taking a step back.

He bumped into the water cooler, tipping an old cup of water down his back. Fei Chin smirked to himself a bit as he noted the Jusenkyou transformation.

"I don't see the problem. You're a girl now anyway, right? Why don't you two get hitched?" The man asked reasonably, enjoying the way the redheaded girl's face went purple.

"I'm a guy, damn it!" She protested.

"Yeah Ranma, because you look so much like one at the moment," her friend chuckled.

"Can it, Ryouga!" Ranma snapped, turning viciously on the other boy.

"Easy, easy... There's another way to break the enchantment binding you two so tightly," Fei Chin informed them waving his hands to calm them down. "In fact, it'd take me five minutes."

"Really?" Ranma asked, starting forward with her friend.

"Ahem," the older man coughed, holding out his hand. "That'll be one million."

"What, yen?" Ryouga blanched, his face going pale.

"American," Fei Chin chuckled nastily. The redhead groaned and palmed her forehead. "Sorry boys, that's pretty much non-negotiable: If it was a simple matter to solve your problem I wouldn't even charge you, but you have to realize that I'm going to have to use a lot of rare and expensive ingredients just to form the basic magic."

"One million dollars?" The pigtailed girl whimpered, her hand dropping. "I don't think I could scam even Kuno into paying that much..."

"Ranma, I've got maybe a thousand dollars. Maybe," Ryouga said, turning to the other individual. He grabbed her shoulders. "You've got the rest of it, right? I saw your mom's house, it's pretty nice! She can spare the cash, right!?"

"Not even if she sold her place," Ranma moaned slapping the hands away. "I've got maybe half of what you've got, pork-butt. No way we can afford this. Not for years."

"If I may interrupt?" Fei Chin asked with a cough, getting their attention. "The price isn't negotiable, but I'm sure I could find work for you boys which should pay pretty well. I've got a list of the ingredients in the back, and it just so happens that I'd be willing to pay top dollar for some of them because they're such a pain in the ass to retrieve.

"Likewise Mr. Chang's could probably use a hand or two with some of his bigger problems around this city, and I'm sure he'd have no more problem letting you do freelance work than he does letting that lovely girl who drove you here do it, as long as it doesn't go against his interests," the old Chinese shopowner pointed out reasonably. He spread his arms. "Why, a couple of enterprising young fellows like yourselves could probably earn that much in as little as six months in a place like this!"

"Six months with _him_?" Ranma squeaked, pointing her finger at the other boy. He smacked her on top of the head.

"Old man, you seem to know a lot about these things. Is there a way you could maybe negate the effect of them? Even just for a little while?" Ryouga wondered, absently grinding his fist into the irritated redhead's skull.

"Now that, my boys, is a decidedly more simple proposition. Won't work for more than an hour, but I can let you boys wander as far from one another as you like. Just mind that you're close to one another when that hour runs out, is all," Fei Chin chuckled. He got up off his stool. "In fact why don't I go whip up a small batch of the stuff, on the house? Can't have you gathering all that cash and doing all that work without a guarantee of some sort, can I?"

"Thanks, old man!" Ranma enthused, slapping Ryouga's fist off her head.

"You two just wait here. It should go without saying that most of these knick-knacks in here can cause quite the problem if you mess around, so keep your hands to yourselves and I'll be right back."

oOo

Balalaika smiled, reveling in a sight which had been lost to her. In the mirror, her seventeen or eighteen year old face smiled back at her. With the increase in her age came the small increase in her body mass to fill out her skirt and blouse once more, and the large increase in height which gave her a far more gratifying vision: Having to look _down _to meet the devious little Japanese bastard instead of having to look up. It helped to restore her equilibrium after how thoroughly he'd played her.

"Well Balalaika, I'd say I earned that fee. Wouldn't you agree?" The boy- no, young man asked with a calm smile.

"Indeed you have. Though it seems to me that it would be a shame for the Lagoon Company to merely break even after today's adventure. Certainly with Benny restored and your mind so occupied with petty tricks, you could probably stand to take on a little extra business, am I correct?" The Russian woman wondered.

"Dutch?" Rock prompted, breaking the older man's tension as he watched the pair.

"We do have a job tomorrow, Balalaika, but I think we're free to take on any work you might have for us for a week afterwards," Dutch explained calmly, prompting the woman to nod once.

"Perfect. I need some time to finalize my arrangements anyway," She turned towards the door. "Sergeant, we're leaving."

Boris spun and followed, moving ahead of Balalaika as she stopped at the doorway.

"Oh, one more thing. This job, it's a little bigger than I think even your people could handle. Revy, you wouldn't mind if I hired a couple of extra contractors to help, would you? Perhaps Eda and another?" The blond asked, smiling.

"Sure, Sis!" Revy said, smiling. Like she'd do anything else for me, Balalaika mused.

"Perfect. I'll have the cargo and the extra people at your dock at 9 a.m. sharp the day after tomorrow," she informed the four, waving once. "Take care."

Originally she'd intended to handle the matter internally, but this was an opportunity. The job really did call for more men than the Lagoon Company had. Adding a couple of extra contractors wasn't anything out of the ordinary, really.

She had no intention of hiring Eda or any other member of Roanapur's underworld. No, she thought, Rock having to deal with her little sister's temper when she hired those two boys of Chang's would be quite the suitable punishment for his transgression today.

Well, it would do for a start.

The boy had crossed a line not meant to be crossed. And so soon after doing it twice in Tokyo. It was intriguing the way he saw the line, then purposefully stepped across. That took the sort of steel in one's spine she'd rarely seen.

"I wonder just how firm you can be," the woman mused, glancing up at the second storey window before getting into the back of the limo. Rock looked down on her, his face only mildly curious.

That poor boy had no idea what he was in for.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I picked Wong Fei Chin's perspective for the first meeting because it made a lot of exposition easier. I r layzee awthur. Also, I know I said I was starting the new arc here. Technically I did, because the boys now know just how much money they need to free themselves.

Because that bit about Ryouga and Ranma having to fall in love with one another? _Pure joke material. _Nothing more. Not gonna happen. That is **not **how the story is going to be resolved.

Also, Balalaika's decision to hire to "add to" Lagoon Company's muscle for her next job was the first step in her revenge. I mean, she's seen the fight between Ranma and Revy and she's got good reason to want to get back at Rock in a way that's not obvious. Him having to deal with them fits the bill nicely.

Edit: That was wierd. I wonder why fanfiction(.)net decided to left-align my entire chapter?  
Edit 2: Hmmm... Keeps doing it. Yet another arbitrary formatting change for fanfiction(.)net?


	9. Chapter 9

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 9

oOo

As soon as the two boys left, a small vial in their hands with a rolled note tied to it, Ryouga spun to face his companion curiously.

"Why didn't we just beat him up and take the cure?" Ryouga wondered, crossing his arms.

"I thought of that. I was gonna do it, but I noticed something: He didn't talk about having it, he talked about being able to fix the problem," Ranma noted, shrugging. "Look, I ain't any happier about having to pay all that money but if Cologne doesn't have a clue how to fix the problem, this guy might be our only shot."

"And if we mess things up with him, we'd be stuck together for the rest of our lives," Ryouga grunted, frowning.

"Unless you think you could fall in love with me... Again," Ranma said, making a kiss noise towards his companion.

"As I recall, you managed to trick me once. On the other hand, didn't you once offer to kill yourself for me if it would make me happy?" Ryouga wondered, innocently scratching his chin.

"Hey, that was magic! That didn't count!" The pigtailed boy scowled. He jerked his head down the street. "C'mon, pork-breath. Let's go find the psycho driver and head back to Chang's place. We need to get some more training in."

oOo

Chang picked up his cell phone as it rang, curiously glancing at the ID before flipping it open and bringing it to his ear.

"Balalaika. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Chang wondered, leaning back in his office chair.

"Chang, I have a little proposition for you. Those two boys you have staying with you, would they be available for some work beginning the day after tomorrow?" The Russian woman asked, driving right to the point.

"How dangerous would it be? I have an obligation to see that they're not killed and right now they're still not used to dealing with guns," Chang admitted, walking to the window which overlooked the interior of one of his warehouses. Said interior was covered in splotches of paint, and at the far end of the building he saw his men spreading out with their MP5s to corner the two frantically dodging boys.

"It shouldn't be anything they can't handle. They'll be working with the Lagoon Company. It's a simple courier mission I didn't really feel like wasting my soldiers' time with, though it does need a little more muscle than Two Hands and Dutch can provide on their own," the Russian woman said. After a pause, she added, "I'm sure that they'll be fine. Rock will be more than capable of managing the interpersonal difficulties that might arise and I'm curious to see if their close-combat skills work well with Revy's ranged prowess."

"It is an interesting proposal," Chang mused, rubbing his jaw. He almost flinched as a spray of simunitions pattered across the glass. Had they been actual bullets, he would have already been behind his desk and pulling out his pistols. "That's an interesting way of putting it, though... 'Interpersonal difficulties'. So what did Rock do to make you angry enough to stick him with this headache?"

"Why nothing at all. I'm surprised you'd even think that, Chang," Balalaika chuckled, the noise strangely... girlish. The Chinese Triad Boss eyed his phone for a moment wonderingly. "I'll admit that my motives are not entirely pragmatic in the matter."

"Well, I suppose if Two Hands is going to be working with them instead of against them, I can allow it. Besides, the boys have quite the debt to pay. I'm sure you'll be happy to make the first down payment on their rather extensive bill," the man noted with a dry laugh.

"Oh?" The Russian woman wondered.

"The solution to their problem is going to cost them a million square. When you add on the fact that my hospitality is, sooner or later, going to run out, they're in dire need of some funds rather quick. What should I tell them they're being paid?" Chang asked.

"I think five thousand each is more than fair compensation for the relative ease of this job. The biggest danger to them will probably be the one with the pigtail antagonizing Revy," Balalaika noted.

"Ten thousand dollars? I'm sure they'll be thrilled to hear that," Chang admitted, looking out over the factory. "Especially when I hand them the bill for all the ammo they've been going through learning just how hard guns are to dodge. Simunitions aren't cheap, you know."

oOo

Later that night, the boys were sitting down to dinner at a small café run by the Triad when Chang sat down at their table.

"Chang-san," Ryouga said with a nod towards the man, setting aside his chopsticks. Ranma finished slurping the noodles he had in his mouth and reluctantly placed his own utensils on top of the bowl of ramen, turning his attention to the man across from him. "Come to see how our training is going?"

"Boys, I've got a little job for you. It's nothing too dangerous, just a courier job to get your feet wet and introduce you to work here in Roanapur," Chang said, grinning at the boys. He spread his hands. "Well, you boys think you're up for a little work?"

"Sure, we're ready for anything," Ranma noted cockily, crossing his arms. "How much does the job pay?"

"Five thousand," Chang admitted, spreading his hands. "The job's a courier run. You'll be working with the crew of a torpedo boat to deliver your cargo safely. That's where your responsibilities end. It'll take maybe eight hours once you leave the dock."

"Five thousand? As in five thousand dollars?" Ranma sputtered, jaw dropping. Ryouga merely stared wide-eyed at Chang.

"Yeah, five thousand each," Chang confirmed. "I know it's not much, but given the circumstances, you should be glad. Ranma's little fight with Revy caught a lot of eyes, so before you know it you boys will be up to the big bucks."

"Wait, five thousand dollars each for eight hours work is chump change?" Ryouga gasped in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. Boys, Roanapur is a pretty dangerous place. In that danger is a lot of opportunity, as well. Balalaika's probably paying forty thousand dollars out just for the protection and delivery of the cargo, but she'll probably make ten times that if the deal goes off without a hitch," Chang finished, rising and patting the stunned boys on the shoulder as he walked off. He paused at the café door and looked back in. "What, you boys think everyone here likes the city for the atmosphere? That million you boys need to earn is change under the sofa for some people around here."

He exited, leaving Ranma and Ryouga to stare at one another.

"Ryouga, you get the impression that maybe we're in over our heads in this place?" Ranma wondered with an awed smile, raising some noodles to his mouth and slurping.

"Not yet, but it looks like we might be heading there. This place is dangerous: We don't know what we're in for and the only guy we can trust in this place is a mob boss," the bandanna-clad youth growled. He shook his head, turning his attention to the beef dish in front of him. "I can't wait to be done with this place."

"Are you kidding? Danger, excitement, and a crapload of money? Pushing ourselves to new limits in the Art?" Ranma slapped the other boy roughly on the back. "Man, this place is perfect! Can you imagine how awesome it's gonna be when we can actually catch those bullets?"

"Maybe eventually you'll be able to. Girly speed freak," the Lost Boy muttered.

"Pht. You're probably bullet-proof anyway, pork-butt," Ranma countered, turning back to his soup. He waved his hand for emphasis. "I mean, let's face it. You spent a week slamming a boulder into yourself. Do you really think a tiny hunk of metal is gonna do any worse?"

"Do you really think that's something I'm eager to test?" Ryouga demanded incredulously.

"Good point," the pigtailed boy noted.

oOo

Balalaika snapped her phone shut as the return call from Chang ended. The boys had agreed. Well, this would certainly be interesting.

"Sergeant?" Balalaika called, prompting the broad man to glance in her direction. She handed him a sheet of paper. "Can you please see that this cargo gets sent to the Lagoon Company's dock at oh eight hundred the morning after tomorrow?"

"Of course, Capitan," the man said, striding out of the room, leaving the Russian woman with her thoughts.

She glared irritably at the slim cigar she held in her hands. Much like it had before, the wrapped tobacco product no longer held any joy. Just more thick coughing. It was a piece of her life, one she'd enjoyed, and one which was no longer available to her thanks to random chance.

Random chance had caused a lot of changes, she'd mused. Random chance left her trapped in the body of a girl when she was a woman. Random chance left her dealing with mood swings and urges she'd thought she'd long ago mastered. It wasn't all bad. The opportunities her new position granted her certainly outweighed the negative effects.

She threw the lone cigar into the trash, followed by the box its brothers rested in. Keeping them around would only remind her of what she'd once had, something she no longer possessed and probably wouldn't for a few years, at least. With the ruthless pragmatism which marked a lot of her decisions, she threw it aside to concentrate her attention on the present.

Her eyes boring into the paper in front of her, she started to note a common thread in the weapons smuggling problem she'd been dealing with for weeks. They mentioned a blond a couple times. Then it clicked. Blonds were not common in Roanapur, and only a handful were the age described in the three reports which mentioned her.

Of that handful, only one didn't work at the Sloppy Swing or a similar establishment. Two, now that Yolanda was facing the same problem as Balalaika. The Russian woman leaned back in her chair. So... The Church. She hadn't considered them a problem in the past.

In fact, she was amazed at the blind spot: How could she not have seen it? She was surprised that this had slipped by Rock. The boy certainly seemed to be smug about his intelligence, so how could he have possibly-

Oh, he wouldn't have. The young Japanese man most certainly wouldn't have kept the information from her. She rubbed her temples as her perception of Rock's intelligence butted with his silence on the matter. Would he have really kept his silence for some reason?

Of course he would. The boy was rather chummy with the Church, and seemed to be able to extract information from them at will. He was far too buddy-buddy with Eda to have failed to notice it. So he'd kept his silence, but for what?

Money? No, if he wanted money he wouldn't be working for Dutch. He was smart enough to break out on his own and make far more than the pittance he earned working as the delivery boy and booking agent for a small business like Lagoon Company.

Love? Certainly not. Half the time he seemed more annoyed by Eda than anything else... And if the Russian knew her surrogate sister, Revy would have been a lot more vocal about the formerly older woman's attentions if Eda actually had her claws in the Japanese man.

Then it struck her: The boy was building up a network. One of which she was a merely a part. Her eyes widened at the implication. It hadn't really occured to her that Rock wasn't just pushing her limits to see where he stood. He was doing it with everyone, and doing so with a casual charm which had everyone ignoring him.

Nobody thought much of Rock, except to think that he was a nice, charming boy. Perhaps a little too innocent for Roanapur, but certainly not a threat. Sitting in her office and going over what she knew of Rock with a far more critical eye, the Russian teenager wondered if she should be enraged about just how much he was manipulating the powerhouses of the city or impressed with the audacity it took for a delivery boy to attempt it in the first place.

Either way, she knew she'd be scheduling a very pointed discussion with Rock in the near future.

She eyed the reports once more, then decided that the Ripoff Church could wait. For now. Rock must have had a reason for allowing their weapons smuggling to continue. Perhaps his reasoning might even be interesting enough to spare her wrath once more.

oOo

Nearly a day and a half later, Balalaika sat in her limo with Boris, waiting for the arrival of the Chang's two young fighters to bring the crew of the Black Lagoon up to the strength she thought they might need. Already Dutch had his crew bustling around the small torpedo boat, securing equipment and readying the ship for departure.

The crate she'd given them for delivery was already secured in the boat's hold. Boris had made certain of that nearly an hour ago.

As the Taiwanese woman of Chang's pulled up in a sleek red sports car, the two boys in the passenger seat, the Russian woman emerged from the car and strode towards the boat, her Sergeant at her heels.

"Well, it seems your backup has arrived. I take it there'll be no problems?" Balalaika called from the dock.

"Sure sis, why would I have a problem working with Eda?" Revy called with a grin. Then the Chinese-American thug's eyes moved beyond Balalaika to the two boys emerging from the car. "What the fuck!? Those two assholes?"

"Sorry. Eda was unavailable, so I contacted Chang. He mentioned that he had two young men who had quite a lot of skill. Do you two know each other?" Balalaika asked innocently. Rock emerged from the hold, took one look at the situation, and shot the Russian teenager a dirty look.

"We've met," Revy snarled, her hand twitching as if to move towards the guns slung under her arms. Instead she curled her fingers into a fist. "Are you sure we're going to need these fucking punks on this job, sis?"

"Quite certain. I need something simple to see if these boys are as good as Chang claims," the blond said with a small smile, turning her attention to Rock. "By the way, Rock. I'd like to discuss something with you once you get back. You'll make yourself available when you return to Roanapur, I trust?"

"I'll be at your complete disposal, Balalaika," the young man said. She grinned at the way the boy seemed to flinch a bit at the unconscious use of the word 'disposal'.

"Excellent. I wish you luck," Balalaika said, turning and walking back towards her car with a small wave. She smiled as she heard the shouting erupt behind her as the two boys reached the boat.

oOo

Twenty minutes later, Ranma was lounging at the rear of the boat watching the city of Roanapur disappear in the distance when he heard a quiet chuckle behind him.

"You know... Most people who piss Revy off go out of their way to avoid her in the future. They typically don't find work with her a few days later," Ranma turned to find a young blond man in a Hawaiian shirt grinning at him.

"Well, I didn't exactly know what I was signing up for until I got here," the pigtailed boy admitted. He then looked at the man curiously before shaking his head. "You know, I coulda sworn you were older when I saw you at that bar. You got an older brother that hangs out with these maniacs?"

"It's complicated," the blond admitted with a slight frown, extending his hand. "My name's Benny. I work the computers, radar, and other electronics here on the boat."

"Ranma," the pigtailed boy offered, shaking the man's hand. "Me and pork-breath over there beat the crap out of people."

"Pork-breath?" Benny asked, confused.

"Shut up, Ranma," Ryouga snorted, cuffing the boy in the arm. He offered his hand. "Ignore this idiot. My name's Ryouga Hibiki. So what do you mean by complicated?"

"This'll sound crazy..." Benny hedged, scratching his chin.

"C'mon, spill the beans!" Ranma encouraged, grinning. "Me and Ryouga do crazy pretty well."

"Well, you're right. When you saw me in the bar, I was older. I ate something that turned me back into a kid for a while," Benny admitted, blushing a bit. He waved his hands as the boys stared at him. "You don't have to believe me, but it _is _the truth."

"Were they mushrooms?" Ryouga asked bluntly, causing the blond's eyes to widen. Before he could speak, Ryouga grimaced. "Let's just say that Ranma and I ran into them in the past. We know exactly what sort of pain in the ass they can be."

"Really? I was stuck as a twelve-year-old for a while. How much worse could it get?" Benny wondered.

"Try six!" Ranma countered, crossing his arms. "You had it easy, man. Believe me, it coulda got a lot worse. The things change you according to their size. Eat a small enough one and you're a toddler again. Or worse."

"You boys sound like you've got a lot of knowledge on the subject," Benny said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "You wouldn't happen to be the ones who brought these things here, would you?"

"Nope. Last time we saw any of the things was months ago, in Japan. We got lucky and the last two we ate were able to restore us to our proper ages," Ranma admitted.

"Benny! Get in here! I think we got a problem!" A deep, booming voice yelled from the interior of the cabin. Ranma and Ryouga followed.

"What is it, Dutch?" Benny wondered, standing in the doorway to the boat.

"Take a look at the radar. We've got incoming. They were waiting for us at the mouth of the harbour. You think you can figure out what sort of boats they are? All I can tell right now is that there's at least six of them and they're faster than us," Dutch informed him. With a nod, the blond ran towards the ladder leading down deeper into the boat, leaving the two teenagers alone with the large black man. He glanced up. "Looks like your first job's about to get a lot more interesting."

"Define interesting," Ranma muttered, worriedly looking out the window at the sea.

"Well, let's just say I hope you didn't get lucky in your little fight with Revy. I have a feeling we're going to need all three of you to get out of this one alive," Dutch admitted. Amazingly, the man was grinning at the prospect.

Ranma and Ryouga exchanged mutual looks of trepidation.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Apologies for the delay. Reading Air Gear and plotting this story's future have kept me busy.

Speaking of plotting, would you believe that I've now plotted out detailed information for damned near forty chapters worth of material? I think this is going to be 'that one story' for me. The story which just goes on and on because an endless amount of ideas sprawl before me as an author. I don't really have a definitive end for this story, beyond the overall goal of Ranma and Ryouga getting the bracers off.

Now, I know I've portrayed Rock as a chessmaster, but now that Balalaika has him figured out, he knows that there's absolutely piss-all he can do to stop her if she gets it in her head to viciously retaliate. His safety is predicated on her good will, something which is in short supply at the moment. And he knows it.


	10. Chapter 10

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 10

oOo

Revy poked her head up from the lower deck, shooting a glare at the two boys standing uselessly behind Dutch.

"Hey, sissy boy! You and your friend with the ballerina shoes can help me move some fucking weapons up to the gunnery hole, alright?" Revy growled, prompting both boys to spin.

"Don't call me a sissy, tomboy!" Ranma protested, his foot shooting out to stop the box of grenade launcher rounds from colliding with his shin. He glanced down at them. "So what else do you need?"

"Get your ass down here and I'll show you!" Revy said, dipping back down and moving to the store room. As the pigtailed brat dropped down, Revy tossed him a loaded RPG, following it up with a brace of three more.

"Holy crap, what the hell? These things could go off and blow us all to hell!" Ranma yelled, gripping the weapon and ammo tightly and glaring at the gunner. She grinned.

"What, is the big bad martial artist afraid of a little firepower?" Revy mused, waiting for him to pass the items up to his friend with Dutch before throwing him a Armalite AR50 sniper rifle. He growled, catching the rubber-banded reload clips for the thing one handed.

"No, the big bad martial artist knows he won't get paid if we blow up the crap we're transporting!" The pigtailed boy snorted. He caught her M79 Grenade Launcher one handed, raising an eyebrow. "How many damned weapons do you need, tomboy?"

"I like some variety," Revy said casually, then pulled her pistol from it's sling and fired at the boy three times, forcing him to frantically dodge. "And I fucking told you before, don't call me tomboy!"

"Holy crap!" Ranma yelped once more, eyeing the dents in the ladder well. "What if I couldn't get out of the way of those things in time?"

"Well, you would have just deflected them, right?" Revy chuckled, moving to the ladder and climbing.

oOo

Benny's mouth went dry as he checked the radar and radio frequencies. Not good. Not good at all. The boats were a problem already. They were modified transports from World War II, heavily armored beasts retrofitted with powerful engines. Some smugglers chose to use them based on their ability to shrug off anything but an RPG.

The fact that they weren't the main issue was bad enough. Worse yet was the air support. A small part of Benny noted that their client would have been very familiar with the model.

The enemy air support was a Mil-produced Mi-24D. More commonly known as the Hind-D, workhorse of the Russian military. With a max speed of over three hundred kilometers an hour, a range of four hundred and fifty kilometers, and a wide variety of nasty weapons to help support the eight troops it could carry.

"Dutch, we've got a problem," Benny said, tapping his earpiece.

"Oh yeah? A bigger problem than the modified transports we've got slowly crawling up on our ass?" Dutch wondered calmly.

"Yeah Dutch. Much bigger. I'm tracking radio frequencies to a bird in the sky. The transponder says it's a Hind-D," Benny said grimly. He tapped some keys, bringing up the specs. "According to what I've got here, the most likely variant they've got is a Mi-24D. The exterior pylons are probably equipped with missiles which will blow us out the water."

"Not to mention the gunpod those things carry," Dutch sighed. Benny felt the tone of the boat's engine change slightly, the weight shifting as his employer changed routes. "Fuck."

"Yeah. Better get Rock ready to support Revy with a few flare guns, Dutch. She's going to be busy keeping that thing distracted. It's maybe twenty minutes out. Let's hope those two boys can keep up their end of this job," Benny finally muttered.

"I don't think Balalaika knew the job would be this dangerous," the black man noted. Benny could feel the grin through the radio link. "Well, I guess it's time to see if they sink or swim."

"If they sink at their first job, our boat sinks, Dutch," the blond American noted, turning back to his equipment.

"Get on the line with Balalaika. See if you can find out something on these guys. Whatever the cargo we're transporting is, these guys want it very, very badly," the ex-soldier noted.

oOo

Ranma was staring at the approaching boats, still just a speck on the horizon, when he heard the loud-mouthed tomboy in the gunnery well groan as she slapped home a clip in her rifle.

"Well, that's just fucking great," the woman hissed. She glanced over at the two boys as they watched the slowly coming horde. "Hey, dipshits! Grab a weapon and get ready! We got a small army coming down on us, and you two aren't paid to look pretty!"

"We're already armed," Ryouga said simply, pulling the bandanas from his head. He began to twirl one idly on the tip of his finger.

"Dumbass, your bad sense of fashion isn't a weapon. These guys have actual guns which fire actual bullets. Grab the grenade launcher or you're just wasting your-Holy shit!" The last was exclaimed as Ryouga twirled the bandanna in her direction, embedding it into the heavy steel plate right near her feet. She stared at the rigid cloth, eyes widening as it went limp as she touched it.

"It's like he said, tomboy. We're already armed," Ranma noted, crossing his arm and turning his attention out over the water.

"What the fuck was that?" Revy snarled, chucking the cloth in Ranma's direction. He caught the limply floating fabric, handing it back to his partner.

"Iron cloth technique," Ryouga noted, his attention focused on the slowly approaching boats. Ranma noted that he must have felt the stare on the side of his face, because he turned to her with a shy grin. "I infuse the cloth with my chi, which makes it harder than steel. A bit of fabric's a lot cheaper than a bullet, right?"

"That's more interesting than Jumbo's trick was," Revy admitted.

"Jumbo?" Ranma prompted, cocking an eyebrow.

"Japanese guy. Apparently nearly as fucking crazy as you two, because he liked to bring a sword to a gunfight," Revy explained, cocking her rifle and staring down the scope. "It helped that he could cut a fucking bullet in half when it was fired at him."

"He's gotta teach me that trick," Ranma said, impressed. He poked her in the thigh, getting an annoyed look in return. "Oi, tomboy. After this job's over, you're introducing me to him."

"I'd be happy to," Revy noted with an evil chuckle.

"I don't trust you. You're being too nice," Ranma accused.

As the lead boat chasing them came into range, Revy fired her weapon three times, pausing for only a second between each. The first shot cracked the glass shielding the boat's pilot. The second shot shattered it completely. Neither Ranma nor Ryouga could see well enough to actually see what the third shot actually did to the man, but even at this range they could see a lot more red in the enemy boat's cabin.

The third shot also had the effect of causing the boat to turn sharply to the left. With the speed the boat was traveling, this was enough for it to twist dangerously one way and then the other, the front tip of the boat dipping into the water as the back end lifted out. With a large splash the boat flipping upside down, quickly falling behind.

"No, trust me. I'm not nice at all," Revy said simply. Her gun barked twice more before she had to reload. Her shots came more and more frequently as the boats slowly gained on the Black Lagoon, and then they were in range.

"Our turn, Ryouga! Save the bandannas for the small fry who get close!" Ranma yelled, focusing on the chi. He idly noted that Revy stopped her gunfire for a moment to stare as the pigtailed boy and his companion started to glow a bright blue and a sickly green, respectively. "I'll take the lead boat on the left. You get the one on the right. Aim for the back, where those engines are. They can't catch us if their boat can't move."

"Hey kid, these guys are trying to kill you. Don't do 'em any favours," Revy advised, sighting on a counter-sniper as he aimed towards them. Even at this range, Ranma could see that the man's trigger-finger was tightening as Revy's large-caliber shot blasted him low in the chest, tumbling him from his position and into the water.

"If we take out their engines, they aren't a problem later," Ryouga noted, his voice thick. He growled and forced the chi swirling around him into his hands. "Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan!"

"Mouko Takabisha Double!" Ranma snarled, half a second behind his rival.

Ryouga's attack took advantage of his huge pool of heavy chi, rising up into the sky and gathering there and pausing briefly. Then it fell as the boat he'd aimed at came underneath, smashing into the back end of the boat and ripping the entire portion off. The impact sent the remaining front portion of the vessel into the path of another, which deflected sharply and started following at a slower speed, clearly damaged.

Ranma's strike was more surgical. The first Mouko Takabisha lanced out directly, striking the boat in the front and deflecting it off to the left. This left the back end briefly exposed to the other chi blast, which ripped directly into the engine itself and left the craft drifting in the water.

"Not fucking bad!" Revy admitted, eyes wide with appreciation. She lowered the rifle into the cabin, gesturing with her hand. Someone below handed her an RPG. She flashed the two boys a grin. "Thing is, boys, you're not the only ones who can make things go boom!"

With that, she raised the RPG to her shoulders and sighted down it briefly before squeezing, sending the thing blasting across the waves towards a fourth boat. The pilot must have seen it coming, but his reaction time was too slow to do anything that mattered: Instead of striking the pilot's window, it instead struck the other plate glass. The impact was still enough to cause it to shatter, a mixture of fire and glass purging the cabin of it's occupants.

Revy briefly admired her handiwork as the boat slowly drifted to a halt, no longer able to be controlled. Then it was too late for anything more, the young raven-haired woman diving out of the gunnery well and taking cover behind the torpedo tube as one boat pulled up on the port side. Then she was lost to Ranma's vision as he and Ryouga turned to the boat approaching on the starboard side.

"Ranma, I'm going to get on that thing and do a Bakusai Tenketsu on the front. They won't be able to continue chasing us if they're too busy sinking," Ryouga snarled, ducking his head as automatic fire beat a rapidly ringing jingle into the torpedo tube they were hiding behind. "That's probably going to stop it fast enough to fling me off the boat. Just hold tight and we'll use these damned bracers to keep me with you!"

"Good plan, P-chan!" Ranma admitted, clapping the boy on the shoulder and gripping one of the railings which covered the old boat.

"I told you, don't call me that!" Ryouga yelled, leaping from cover onto the other boat as the firing briefly ceased.

oOo

Revy grinned as she leaped across to the enemy vessel, confident that her new companions could handle their end without any fuss. She ducked behind a protrusion on the ship, firing a quartet of shots which downed the two fuckers trying to sneak up on her.

"You motherfuckers picked the wrong crew to mess with," Revy snarled, rolling out of cover with her two pistols at the ready. She dove to the side at the sight of a man in full body armor carrying a Kalishnakov, lacing him with three shots to the chest and another to the arm. He dropped his weapon but didn't fall as she rolled back into cover.

Poking her head up, she saw the boat which had engaged the Black Lagoon's starboard side fall behind, flipping end over end as it went. She was surprised to find she didn't wish _too hard _that the annoying pigtailed bastard was on it when it went.

Footsteps rapidly approached, and Revy leaped up to the top of her cover, pausing briefly to shoot kevlar-boy's two friends in the face before leaping up and over him as he struggled to bring a pistol up to bear. The thing with body armor was that it slowed one down: He didn't even have time to begin a turn to face her when she painted the inside of his mask with his brains.

As she moved around the side of the boat, she saw a hatch beginning to open. She grinned as she spun, her hips slamming the thing back shit as she brought both legs up to brace against the railing. She holstered one of her pistols and unslung the special package she'd prepared for the ship-to-ship jump.

It was a round egg-shaped metal device, roughly the size of an basketball. It's core was a delayed phosphorus fuse linked to an electric current. The thing was weighed so that, when thrown, the thicker side of the egg was on the bottom. Ten seconds after the fuse was pulled, the phosphorus would ignite with the hard-packed aluminum shavings and rust, creating a bubbling mass of molten liquid which was the hottest non-nuclear chemical reaction this side of a nuclear explosion. The C4 packed into the top of the egg then detonated, sending the hot stuff straight down into whatever happened to be underneath.

Revy pulled the switch at the top, igniting the fuse, and threw it to the back of the boat, right where the engines were housed. It landed a second later with a dull thump. A sudden jolt from men body-checking the hatch she was bracing shut sent her feet up over the rail, spilling her back-first onto the deck of the boat.

"Fuck! Fucking bastards, I'll kill you all!" Revy punctuated her statement with a burst of semiautomatic fire from her pistol, scrambling to her feet and bodychecking one of the poor bastards into the narrow gap between this boat and the Black Lagoon as she did.

The egg detonated, and the Black Lagoon began to pull ahead. Revy ran, blind-firing over her shoulder until her gun clicked empty as she raced to make the jump. She slammed the gun into it's holster as her foot found the front tip of the boat as she leaped, aiming for the back-railing of her escape vehicle.

Missed.

"Grab hold of something, Ryouga!" Ranma's voice yelled, diving off the boat after her. Caught her right as both of them hit the water, and held on as they were both jerked with along with the Lagoon. Revy found her face buried in... breasts?

"Why the fuck do you have breasts?" Revy demanded of the suddenly-redhaired _girl _holding her as they skipped along the surface of the ocean, slowly getting closer and closer to the Black Lagoon.

"Life-saving now, explanation later," the pigtailed girl replied. As they got to the back of the boat, the limber girl reached up and pulled them on one-handed. Revy opened her mouth to speak when 30mm autofire ripped into the top of the ship as a dark shadow passed overhead.

The Hind-D had arrived.

oOo

Author's Notes:

This and the next are going to be critical chapters. Until now, I've mainly been keeping to the Black Lagoon tone by using a lot of swearing. Unfortunately, battles in Black Lagoon are often bloody and violent. This is going to be something that Ranma and Ryouga will have to learn to live with.

Hey, it can't all be fun gunfights and wordplay. I'm not going to spend chapters going on about how depressing it all is, but it's an issue which has to be addressed.


	11. Chapter 11

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 11

oOo

Ranma barely had time to catch her breath before her angry partner was grabbing her shirt and shaking her.

"Damn it, Ranma! You nearly pulled me over the boat with that stunt of yours!" Ryouga roared. His eyes widened and he grabbed both girls and heaved them to the side, rolling after them a second later. As he did, more heavy machine-gun rounds punched holes into the decking where the three had stood.

The boat pitched as it turned, putting itself at a ninety degree angle to it's airborn pursuer.

"Fuck! Our only hope of taking that Hind down is the RPG, unless you two fuckers can pull off that glowing trick again!" Revy snarled, running forward on the boat. Ranma and Ryouga quickly followed.

"We can't rely on that. That thing's moving way too fast and it's too far out for us to have any kind of reliable shot!" Ryouga called, his eyes tracking the helicopter as it banked sharply, reading to come at them once more.

"I've got the same fucking problem! These RPGs aren't the fastest things in the world!" The gunslinger slapped another round into the weapon and brought it to her shoulder. "Look, just give it a shot! Worst case scenario, you miss!"

"We don't exactly have enough chi to just be firing these things all day, tomboy!" Ranma complained, but faced off against the thing. She breathed deeply, glancing at her rival. "Think you can pull off a double shot, pork fry?"

"Not a chance," Ryouga grimaced. He glared at the helicopter as two bright flashes burst forth from the tips of the wing pylons. "Ranma, those missiles are way too fast for us to hit!"

"Rock, flare!" Revy bellowed, aiming her weapon. The young Japanese man popped out of the hatch beside her, firing the large pistol-shaped weapon straight up into the air. The missiles, racing far in advance of the attack chopper, immediately diverted after the heat signature, the ordnance flashed through the air above before detonating safely away from them.

All three combatants loosed their weapons. Revy's RPG deflected off the armor of the Hind, detonating uselessly fifty meters behind. Ranma's Double Mouko Takabisha was only half successful: One flew wide of the target and the other hit, charring the armor and doing no more damage. Ryouga's Shi Shi Hokodan clipped one of the remaining two missiles, causing it to drop to the ocean below.

oOo

Revy was too busy reloading to notice the angle of the 30mm gunfire as it created a near perfect line along the water as the Hind closed on the Black Lagoon. Rock, wedged uncomfortably between her legs, did notice. He immediately grabbed her and pulled her into the cabin with him, causing her to drop the RPG round and the weapon itself.

Before she even had time to breathe in and yell at him, a giant hole was punched through the top of the hatch, the very place she'd been bracing herself a second before. Seeing that, she flashed the young man a grin and grabbed the RPG round before it rolled underneath Dutch's seat.

"Rock, we need another flare! That fucking Hind is coming back and it's still got one missile!" Revy bellowed, already reloading the weapon in her hand as she raised herself back out of the top hatch. Rock glanced around the cabin for the weapon as he fumbled another flare round from the case, then he realized.

The flare gun was outside.

"Revy, I don't have the flare gun!" Rock yelled.

oOo

Hearing Rock's cry from inside the cabin, Ranma turned to her partner.

"Ryouga, we're gonna need another Perfect from you!" Ranma yelled, concentrating on the Hind as it banked. "Your chi is a lot hotter than mine. A Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan might just be hot enough to draw that last missile away from the boat!"

"On it!" Ryouga replied, chi swirling around him.

"Tomboy, you've got still got a shot for that thing, right?" Ranma demanded, getting an angry nod in return. She grinned. "Alright, I'm going to fire another Double at this clown. If we both aim our shots at that stupid thing's blades, we should be able to take it down!"

Far out from the boat, the Hind-D's last missile flared as it was launched from its pylon.

"Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan!" Ryouga bellowed, forcing his chi upward. He held his hands up, as if the act would aid his contentration in keeping the thing from falling back down. His eyes squeezed shut in concentration. "I can't hold this much longer!"

"Just another second, Ryouga!" Ranma encouraged, watching the missile as it approached. After a few agonizing seconds, it blasted through the Shi Shi Hokodan and detonated, the heat and pressure wave of the explosion washing over the trio as they watched. The Lost Boy collapsed, to one knee. "It's our turn now, tomboy!"

"I told you not to call me tomboy, bitch!" Revy snarled, her attention focused on the incoming helicopter. Neither the pigtailed girl nor the Chinese-American woman allowed their attention to waver as the Shi Shi Hokodan detonated, briefly showering them with water.

"I'll make sure this bastard comes at us a little lower so he can't spray us with any more bullets!" Ranma growled as she loosed her first Mouko Takabisha early, aiming it a little higher than the incoming chopper. The pilot saw the incoming attack and dipped lower to allow it to fly above his flight path. With only forty feet between his craft and the ocean, he now had no room to dodge if he wanted to pass over the Black Lagoon. Ranma had him. She fired the other chi blast, her victory assured.

The helicopter dropped lower, dodging the attack. It was now on a collision course.

"Dutch, hard to port!" Revy screamed into her microphone, firing the RPG before dropping it to snag the back of Ranma's shirt. Ryouga slammed painfully into the torpedo tube as the boat turned sharply, gripping it tightly through the momentum of the turn. Ranma felt something in the taller woman's shoulder give slightly as she maintained her death grip on the back of the pigtailed girl's shirt until it was safe to let go.

The RPG struck the cockpit of the Hind, instantly forcing it down into the water. It was still coming at the rear of the boat far faster than they could hope to outrun it.

Then Chinese-American woman slumped inside the cabin, screaming in pain as her good hand clutched her injured shoulder.

"Ryouga, on your feet! We gotta do something!" Ranma snarled, dragging the boy to his feet and pulling him to the back of the boat. With every passing second it was closing by another hundred feet as it skipping along the water like a stone. Shaking his head clear, Ryouga nodded.

Neither martial artist was strong enough to stop the Hind-D's momentum. Ranma doubted Lime could have stopped it. There was also the relative disparity in weight to consider, and both knew that the lack of a stable platform would hurt more than it would help. It was madness to even try, and both fighters knew it.

As the Hind bounced up, a pigtailed girl and bandanna-clad boy jumped up to meet it as it reached the top of the arc which would have left it on top of the boat, punching out at the helicopter at the at exactly the same time. The impressive blows snapped the pair almost immediately back onto the deck of the ship, their own meager weight insufficient to move the Hind's much greater mass.

Much.

Yet it was enough to lift the chopper a few extra feet. Combined with the sudden deceleration of the boat as Dutch reversed the throttle, the mechanical corpse skipped once or twice off the water in front of the boat and sunk instead of smashing into the boat and dragging the Black Lagoon's crew with it.

Neither Ranma nor Ryouga remained conscious long enough for someone to come out and check on them.

oOo

Benny came into the cabin, a wry grin on his face as he looked at the calm man at the helm of the ship. The ship was scarred with gunfire from the 30mm, but thankfully none of the critical engine components had been struck. More irritatingly, the beer cooler had been pierced where it lay in the cabin, taking the entire case of Heirekan tallboys with it to the grave.

Revy was not happy about that. Or the shoulder she'd dislocated, truth be told. Though compared to the pair they'd brought into the lower cabin, now resting on the bunks, she'd gotten off very lightly. Both were unconscious and breathing shallowly, and they'd both collected a fair amount of scrapes and bruises.

There was also the fact that Ranma was now a short, red-haired girl instead of a less short, black-haired guy. That was sort of weird, Benny, thought, but given his own recent foray into the realm of strange magical crap, it was no longer enough to warrant a total freak out.

"What's up, Benny?" Dutch asked, glacing up from piloting the ship.

"I finally got a hold of Balalaika. She's told me that if we have to scuttle the cargo to escape, we can. She wasn't expecting nearly this much opposition for us, " Benny noted, tapping a button on the black man's control console to redirect the radio from the communications room.

"Go ahead, Balalaika," Dutch said, grinning at the smirk on Benny's face.

"Six heavily-armored attack boats and a Hind-D inbound, Dutch? You sound far too calm for a man in your position," Balalaika's voice was tinged with careful amusement. After a moment's pause, she continued. "As I told Benny: If you have to drop the cargo to save yourselves, you may. Clearly you can't be expected to fight off that many foes with just three people defending the ship."

"You're right, Balalaika. We can't be expected to fight them all," Dutch said, and Benny knew the man well enough to recognize when he was trying to keep his voice level. He finally allowed his mirth to enter his voice as he continued. "However, that doesn't change the fact that we already did. Your cargo is en-route and will be arriving at the scheduled time."

"Surely you must be joking. You mean my dear little sister managed to take down that Hind-D with whatever weapons she had on hand? I'm impressed," Balalaika admitted, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice.

"Oh, she had help," Dutch informed the woman. "Whatever you're paying those two you saddled with us, you should probably double for this job. Without them, we'd be a boat full of corpses and empty of cargo by now."

"As it so happens, Hotel Moscow has a bounty on the pilot of the Hind-D," Balalaika informed him, sounding pleased. "Alexei should have known better than to try to rob me. I can't imagine what he was thinking."

"Well, I'm sure that'll make Revy happy. An even three-way split between her and those two sounds fair to me," Dutch said.

"As always, Hotel Moscow is happy to do business with the Lagoon Company. Your payment will be waiting at port when you arrive," Balalaika concluded, ending the transmission.

oOo

Rock glanced at the woman he was tending, wrapping some of her cuts. She'd screamed when he popped her shoulder back into place, and the limb was now suspended with a sling until her strength returned to the limp arm.

"They were... glowing?" Rock asked dubiously, putting ointment on the final scrape on her back, just under her left shoulder blade. He put a bandage on it and then lowered her shirt once more.

"Hey, don't ask me how it fucking works," Revy snorted, slowly getting to her feet. She walked over to the doorway to the cabin's bunks, where the pair now lay on the bed. "You know, I think the bigger question here is how the pigtailed fucker turned into a stacked girl."

"Good point, I guess," Rock admitted, joining her at the door.

"It's weird. Remember back when I fought Jumbo? I thought that was pretty intense, but this? This is a hell of a lot beyond that," Revy said, her tone strangely wistful to Rock's ears. "These bastards are as good with their bare hands as I am with a fucking armory."

"Oh, you think they're actually better than you?" Rock wondered, grinning at the sharp look she directed his way.

"Hey, I can take either of these bastards just fine. They're good, but they're not that good," Revy snorted, finally turning away from the pair in the room. "Fuck it, I'm pretty sure we've got a spare case of beer in the hold. Warm beer is better than no beer."

After glancing at the slumbering teens for a moment, Rock followed.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Well, I hope everyone liked the battle with the boats and the Hind-D. I did my best to give everyone who was topside a moment of awesome there and I hope I succeeded. I figured slamming the Hind up enough to pass over the Black Lagoon wouldn't be much harder for Ranma and Ryouga than tossing ice around during the fight with Mikado and Azusa was, so there you go.


	12. Chapter 12

Forcibly United

oOo

Chapter 12

**Uh, so... Apparently I've written four chapters in rapid succession. Start all the way back at Chapter 9 if you haven't read the story in the last day or so.**

oOo

Consciousness was slow to return to Ryouga Hibiki. He sat up in an unfamiliar bunk, rubbing his head as he looked around. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was a helicopter speeding towards them, far too fast to be healthy. Then Ranma had convinced him that punching the damned thing was a good idea.

As he got up, he felt the various aches and pains in his body, though the most prominent was the sharp stinging in the knuckles of the hand he'd punched the Hind-D with. With a groan, he got up and slung the redhead over his shoulder, then walked out of the small room.

Armory. Bathroom, where he did Ranma a small favour and changed her back to a him. Armory again. The engine room, then Ryouga finally found the ladder which led up to the cabin.

"Glad you two are awake," Dutch noted, not turning around.

"Uh, only I'm awake. Ranma's still being a lazy jerk and sleeping," Ryouga grunted, dropping the pigtailed boy with a loud thud on the floor. He didn't wake up. "So, how much longer do we have until we arrive at port to deliver the cargo?"

"Already done," Dutch said simply, picking up an envelope from the top of his console, handing it to Ryouga. "By the way, here's your pay for the job. Balalaika was pretty impressed that we managed to safeguard the cargo despite the slight problem, and the pay reflects that."

"Slight problem, he says..." Ryouga grumbled, opening the envelope and pulling the cash out. He started counting the hundreds, then realized he'd reached twenty thousand dollars roughly halfway through the stack. "She quadrupled our pay!?"

"Nope. That's all yours. I've got an envelope for your friend when he wakes up. Forty-three thousand dollars each, kid," Dutch said, turning his head to flash the boy a grin. "She doubled your pay for the job because of the amount of boats coming after us, and the asshole piloting the Hind-D had a bounty on his head which you, your friend, and Revy got to split three ways."

"Eighty-six thousand dollars!?" Ryouga choked, astonished. At this rate, they'd be free of the bracers in just a few weeks!

"Hey, welcome to the big leagues, kid. Don't get too excited, though. Not all your jobs are going to be so lucrative. And don't forget that you're going to be spending money in Roanapur when you get back," Dutch advised.

"On what? It's not like Ranma or I need to stock up on weapons and ammo," Ryouga noted.

"True... But don't tell me you don't have anything you've always wanted," Dutch said pointedly. "New clothes, expensive food, a nice apartment... Pretty much whatever you want, you can now afford to buy."

"I suppose I could use a few new shirts or something..." Ryouga admitted, before shaking his head. "No! Ranma and I have to rid ourselves of this curse we suffer from! As soon as we can!"

"Curse?" Dutch asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe it's best I show you. Do you think you could call everyone to the back of the boat?" Ryouga wondered.

oOo

Ranma was sleeping contentedly. This all changed with a slight noise which seemed to be whispering in his ear. Thanks to years of practice at ignoring his old man's snoring, he shrugged off the noise as inconsquential.

"Wake up, Ranma!" Ryouga yelled, barely penetrating. Then Ranma learned that Ryouga attempting to wake him did, in fact, have consequences if ignored. He felt himself hurled sharply through the air, his arm jolting out behind him as he hit the distance limit which bound him to his rival.

Then Ranma plunged into the ocean, his curse changing him into a redhead while she swam to the surface, sputtering.

"Well, that explains a few things," Ranma heard Dutch comment to the yellow-clad boy, nodding in Ranma's direction.

"What the hell did you do that for, pork butt?" Ranma demanded, swimming back to the boat.

"Hey, I needed to explain the bracers, show them a Jusenkyo curse, and wake you the hell up," Ryouga said calmly, then grinned. "Throwing you in the water was just an added bonus."

"So the change is because he fell into a fucking pool of water?" Revy exclaimed, eyes widening a bit. "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes..."

"Ryouga... Ranma makes a lot of comments about you and pork. I take it you have a Jusenkyo curse as well?" Rock asked, sipping some tea. Ryouga's grimace was answer enough. "So how does that work with those bracers? I don't imagine they fit a pig's stubby arm quite as easily."

"The curse don't work for him while he's got the bracer on. It's a total gyp. He gets to go swimming and stand in the rain without fear, while I'm still stuck turning into a girl," Ranma complained, pulling off her shirt and squeezing out the excess water. She did the same with her pants, then opted to simply hang both items over a railing. She held out a hand to Rock. "Do you mind?"

"Huh?" Rock asked, before Ranma sighed and indicated his tea cup. "Oh, sure."

"Hot water boy, cold water girl, very tragic story." The pigtailed girl sighed in relief as she splashed herself with the tea, reverting to her true gender.

"Ranma, Ryouga... Revy mentioned something about glowing?" Rock prompted, earning interested looks from Benny and Dutch as well. "Things were so hectic during the fight, I didn't really see what you two were doing. Do you think you could show us?"

"You feeling up for a Shi Shi Hokodan, Ryouga?" Ranma asked, sort of tired himself. The other boy shook his head.

"No, Ranma... I pulled off two Perfects in the last fight, plus a regular. I'm going to be drained for a few days, I think," Ryouga admitted. He then jabbed the other boy in the shoulder, grinning. "Besides, I showed them the bracers. Your turn to do a demonstration."

"Fine, fine... We both know I'm the best, anyway," Ranma muttered, closing his eyes. His chi was weak, depleted after the battle, but it was there. Enough for a small demonstration, anyway. He cupped his hands in front of himself. "Mouko Takabisha!"

He opened his eyes to find the entire crew of the Black Lagoon staring at his hands, and he grinned before launching it at the water. It struck the ocean and detonated with the force of a rocket-propelled grenade, sending a geyser of water shooting into the air.

"Holy shit," Dutch muttered, watching the brief rainbow that filtered through the air as the mist settled back into the ocean.

"How does it work?" Benny wondered, waving his hand toward the boys. "I mean, that's like something out of a fighting game. I didn't think even for a second that it people could actually do stuff like this."

"Those games are completely unrealistic," Ryouga complained, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, no way anyone can just keep throwing chi blasts over and over again like that," Ranma explained, sitting down on the railing. "My Mouko Takabisha works based on my confidence-"

"Arrogance, more like," Ryouga snorted. Ranma ignored him.

"-and pig-boy's Shi Shi Hokodan works based on his depression. Of course, merely being confident or depressed ain't enough for us to keep using them. We can exhaust ourselves using the attacks, just like punching or kicking will eventually exhaust someone," Ranma continued, then paused as Revy pointed a finger at Ranma, then Ryouga.

"So let me get this straight. You can blow shit up because you're a fucking arrogant prick, and your buddy here and do the same shit because he's a walking advertisement for Prozac?" Revy sputtered, trying to contain her laughter.

"Laugh it up, tomboy," Ranma snorted, crossing his arms. He rolled his eyes, focusing his attention on the trio still paying attention. "We can do some other stuff with our chi that doesn't need us to be confident or depressed. I can punch really fast, Ryouga can blow up stone and other stuff like that with his finger, Ryouga can turn cloth as hard as steel, I can make small tornadoes under the right circumstances... Tricks like that."

"Why bother with stuff like that when you can just blow shit up whenever you feel like it?" Revy asked curiously.

"Why do you carry around pistols when you can just lug around a grenade launcher?" Ryouga countered, inspiring a thoughtful look as the woman finished her beer and headed to the front of the boat. "It's a lot easier. I can only throw a few chi blasts before I'm tired out by the whole thing. I can chuck my bandannas pretty much all day, even in the state I'm in now."

"Still, that's pretty useful," Benny admitted, grinning.

"Yep," Ranma agreed. He glanced around, realizing for the first time that the boat wasn't moving. "So, isn't that Russian chick going to be pissed if we're late delivering the cargo?"

"We've already done it," Dutch said, slapping a thick envelope against the boy's bare chest. "Speaking of which, here's your pay."

oOo

Revy was just entering the cabin when she heard Ranma yell, "Forty-three thousand dollars?"

She grinned as she fished a pair of beers out of the case. She didn't plan on being entirely sober when she arrived back in Roanapur, and she'd be damned if she did it alone. After a second, she fished another two beers out of the thing.

It'd be rude if she didn't try to get those boys drinking either, she thought. They looked they hadn't before, and she was sure she could at least cajole Ranma into trying to drink her under the table. Not that he even had a fucking chance of doing so.

oOo

Rock glanced at Balalaika's limo as it waited near the Black Lagoon's dock with more than a bit of apprehension. He knew that Balalaika wouldn't have asked him to 'make himself available' if she didn't have something pretty serious to talk about. He was thankful that he'd managed to both avoid drinking too much and convince Revy to excessively consume.

She couldn't help him, and he didn't want her getting involved if the whole thing went bad. He was going to be walking into a rather dangerous trap anyway, and Revy's instinct of going for her gun first was not going to help him here.

Shenhua was there to pick Ranma and Ryouga up, he noted. He nodded to her politely as she watched Ryouga carry a comatose Ranma down the boarding ramp. The poor boy had made the bad decision to try to outdrink Revy when she'd questioned his manhood. Ryouga, at least, had the good sense to abstain.

"Aiyah, he try to out-drink Twinkie?" He heard her exclaim as Ryouga slung the unconscious teenager into the back seat of her car. "He really fucking dumb. He better not puke or I clean car with his face."

Then he was at the door to the limo. Rock smiled politely as the window rolled down and Balalaika glanced up at him.

"Well, Balalaika. Shall we discuss whatever it is you feel the need to discuss?" Rock asked lightly. He took it as a bad sign that she didn't really return the smile.

"Get in, Rock." Interesting. She wasn't even trying to suggest that it was an invitation instead of an order.

He got in.

oOo

Balalaika glanced stonily across the limo to where Rock calmly sipped a soda he'd taken from her mini-fridge. She was surprised he took her up on the offer of refreshment. Then again, he could probably detect the scarcely-concealed anger boiling underneath her relatively placid surface.

He raised one eyebrow, tilting his head.

"Now, let me guess... You're wondering why I didn't tell you about the weapons smuggling of the Church of Violence. They've been flooding the market with more weapons, endangering your people by arming even the most tactless of thugs. Am I right?" Rock asked, leaning forward.

"You have a remarkable grasp of the complexities of the situation. Care to tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you right now?" Balalaika demanded, drawing her pistol, but leaving it resting in her lap. She quirked one eye at him. "Remember, the best way to convince me to keep you alive is by keeping it interesting. And you know I'm not interested in your apologies or pleading."

"I wasn't aware I had anything to apologize for," Rock said simply, putting the can of Pepsi in the cup holder at his side and leaning forward to bridge his hands in front of his face.

"You'd better have an explanation for that, Rock. And make it quick," Balalaika hissed. The gun twitched where it lay in her lap.

"Of course," Rock said. He held out one hand. "Alright, from your perspective it does look bad. I'm all but aiding and abetting the Ripoff Church in flooding Roanapur with weapons, weapons which might just be used against your forces. Obviously you aren't happy about that.

"On the other hand," he said, raising his other hand. "I'm saving the lives of your men by what I'm doing."

"You'll have to explain that one," Balalaika said, raising the gun to aim it at a spot right between Rock's eyes. "And like I said, I'm getting impatient."

"No wonder Revy's so quick to violence if she looks up to you," Rock muttered, not quietly enough to escape the Russian teenager's ears. Yet he didn't flinch as she clicked the safety off of her gun. In fact, he grinned. "That's a nice gun, Balalaika. I imagine it's hard to find, am I right?"

"Rock. Get to the fucking point. If my arm starts to get tired, I will pull the trigger on the 'nice gun' pointed at your face," Balalaika pointed out icily.

"You're a strong woman, Balalaika. I think I've got a little time left," Rock pointed out evenly. He did have that right, the woman admitted to herself. "Balalaika, I spoke with the Church and pointed out that what they were doing was a necessary evil. Whether or not they were the ones importing the firearms, guns not controlled by Hotel Moscow, the Triads, the Sicilians, or the Columbians are going to find their way here.

"I simply pointed out to Sister Yolanda that is was in her best interests to import low quality items. After all, everyone knows that her place of business is called the Church of Violence for a reason. They go to her when they need a weapon quick," Rock said, grinning as the gun pointed at his face wavered. "So instead of trying to control the quantity of unwanted guns coming in to Roanapur, a factor impossible to control, I instead influenced the general quality of the weapons.

"Sister Yolanda and Sister Eda don't sell AP rounds, hollow points, or other more potent rounds to the thugs trying to make a name for themselves. They don't sell advanced military carbines or weapons with integrated laser-sights to the people who might clash with your men, or the Triads, or the Columbians, or the Sicilians," Rock continued, his grin growing as Balalaika finally lowered her gun. "Yolanda is making a profit by ensuring that the men who come up against your troops can't even pierce their body armour, that is if their weapons even shoot straight enough to hit them in the first place.

"Your men are going to come up against people who can kill them. I can't control that. Nobody can. If someone wants to really try to fight you, they're going to come at you with the best gear they can find," Rock said, picking up his soda and draining it. He crunched the empty can, concluding, "I'm just making sure that finding that gear is a bigger pain in the ass than it needs to be."

"Interesting points," Balalaika admitted, clicking the safety on her gun once more. She clicked the button which lowered the bulletproof divider separating her from Boris, driving in the front. "Sergeant, stop the car. Rock, we're only a block away from Lagoon Company's office. Thank you for your time."

"As always, I'm happy to work with Hotel Moscow regarding any inquiries it has about my conduct or the conduct of the Lagoon Company," Rock said, getting out of the car.

"He did it again!" Balalaika growled, slamming the butt of her gun against the side of the limo. She glared at her Sergeant as he glanced back at her in the rear-view mirror. "You'd better not be smiling, _Boris_."

"Of course not, Capitan," the tall Russian man said, doing an admirable job of hiding the amusement in his voice. After a moment, he spoke up. "Shall I drive us to the gun range?"

"Yes," Balalaika said sharply, holstering her gun. "I feel the urge to shoot something. Repeatedly."

"Of course," Boris said, accelerating. Glancing out the back of the window, the blond Russian teenager noted that Rock was grinning as he glanced at the back of the limo.

oOo

Author's Notes:

And with this chapter, the story as you know it comes to a close.

The next chapter will be the beginning of a new story arc. Unlike the previous chapters, which have more or less focused on the entire cast, the upcoming arcs are going to focus specifically on a subsection of the cast. So with these arcs come labeling for the chapters, so that when this beast starts to really get moving, navigating to read your favourite will be easier. Thus, the next arc will be labeled _Comes the Hotblooded Dragon _in the chapter list. You'll see why the title is appropriate when the arc is underway.

Oh, and random fact: With this chapter, Forcibly United becomes my longest-running story, despite the fact I started it eighteen days ago. I amaze me sometimes. I also annoy those who live with me, what with the fact I'm tapping my keyboard at all hours of the day sometimes.


	13. Comes the Hot Blooded Dragon 1

Forcibly United

oOo

Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon

Chapter 1

oOo

Revy snap-fired her pistol at the lead man as he leaped from the boat alongside the Black Lagoon, grimacing as he twisted in mid-air to dodge the shot. He landed and blurred, more 9mm gunfire denting the boat's deck as she tracked him. Beyond him, several men watched from their boat.

He was too fucking fast! Just like the pigtailed bastard who'd arrived in Roanapur two months ago! It was fucking embarrassing that this bastard's men didn't even need to follow him onto the boat!

"Dutch! Rodeo!" Revy yelled, holstering her weapon and grabbing onto one of the railings. Dutch veered sharply at her word, tumbling the martial artist into one of the torpedo tubes and giving Revy her first clear look at the him.

He was a young Japanese man, no older than eighteen. Relatively short, wavy black hair was held back by a camouflage bandanna which matched the cargo pants he wore, topped by a light kevlar vest with a black sleeveless shirt. Revy pulled a gun from her holster and fired, denting the metal by the young man's face and making him let go of the tube. He twisted in mid-air, and Revy saw him land on the pursuing boat with a disturbing grace.

"Dutch, we've got a fucking problem," Revy growled into her headset, firing at the young punk several times. The first grazed his shoulder, prompting him to dive for cover as the boat closed the distance once more. "This little bastard leading these fuckers moves like Chang's two punks! Get Benny driving the boat and get your ass up here to help me drive them off!"

"On my way," Benny replied.

"Dutch, he's coming up starboard. Wrench the rudder to port when I yell. I'm going to see if we can drop the punk in the ocean next time he tries to board," Revy said, reloading her gun. Unfortunately, the men on the other boat had wisely taken cover, leaving the Chinese-American thug with no targets.

"What about Benny taking over?" Dutch demanded over the line.

"It can wait! If I time this right, maybe he doesn't have to take over after all!" Revy snarled, firing a trio of shots as men on the other boat peeked their heads over cover. Unfortunately, the shots missed. The boat pulled up to them and the leader leaped. "NOW!"

The Black Lagoon shifted throttle and immediately turned away from the pursuit vessel. Unfortunately, the young Japanese man merely smirked as he snatched the railing at the back corner of the deck, flipping himself on to the boat and taking cover as Revy opened up on him.

"Dutch, we've got company! Get your ass out here!" Revy snarled. She leaped over the top of the boat, hoping to catch the boarder by surprise. She was only mildly surprised when she did, raining gun fire down on the man. Surprised, he dove to the side faster than she could track, lashing out a hand from twenty feet away.

To Revy's immense surprise, the air around his fist bent for a second before a sharp pain lanced into her right arm. Numbness spread from her shoulder to her fingertips, and her custom Beretta 92F fell from her hand, bouncing once off the deck of the boat before plunging into the ocean with a small splash.

Focusing through the pain, she raised her other gun towards the young man's face. Another fist bent the air around her and everything went dark.

oOo

Rock stared apprehensively out the top hatch as the sky raced by, hearing several gunshots and then silence. Benny climbed up the ladder, allowing Dutch to relinquish steering and head for the top hatch. The large black man pulled his revolver from it's holster, hand on the ladder.

"Revy? I'm coming up!" Dutch yelled, raising his head out the hatch.

A solid fist collided with the man's face, shattering his sunglasses and dropping him limply to the floor of the cabin. A second later, a young Japanese man clad in a kevlar vest and military fatigues dropped in, feet spread over Dutch's unconscious body.

"Stop the boat," the young man commanded in rough English, glaring at the pair of noncombatants. Seeing his slight build and the fact he was unarmed, Rock tried to punch the young man. He effortlessly deflected the punch to the side, twisting the older Japanese man's arm behind him before kicking him in the back of his knees, dropping him next to Dutch. "Serious, blondie!"

"Alright, I'm stopping it! Just don't hurt anyone!" Benny pleaded, throttling the boat down to a minimum.

"If you co-operate, nobody is harmed further," the young man promised, leaning down. He switched to Japanese as he lifted Rock to his feet unsteadily. "You're Japanese, right? Like I said, if you and your crew offer no more resistance, we'll allow you to go on your way once we take your cargo off your hands."

"You do know that we're working for Hotel Moscow, right?" Rock bluffed, getting a blank look in return. "I've heard about you from a few people in Roanapur. You've just started working these waters. You do realize that you're pissing off pretty much everyone for a few hundred miles, right?"

"It's a consequence of my chosen profession," the young man returned, letting go of the other Japanese man's shirt. He opened the side-hatch of the torpedo boat, waving once to his men. "The cargo would be in the front hold on a ship like this, right?"

"That's right," Rock ground out, following the young man onto the deck. He glanced towards the back, noting that several of the young man's subordinates were surrounding Revy's unconscious form.

When one of them reached down to sling her over his shoulder, Rock tensed himself to move... and probably, to die. He didn't need to. The strange young pirate who'd captured his vessel was there first.

"I told you before! No captives!" The young man snarled, punching the man viciously in the ribs and catching the Chinese-American woman before she tumbled once more to the ground. He carried her to Rock, dumping Revy in his arms. "Take her below deck and fix up her arm. I'm sorry, but she was good enough that I couldn't hold back. She might have killed me, otherwise."

"If you're sorry, why are you a fucking pirate in the first place?" Rock demanded, wondering at the senseless violence.

"I was crippled once: I'm still not back to where I once was. Until I've regained the level of skill I once sealed away, I've got to train myself in the harshest environment I can," the youth explained, gently shoving Rock's arm. He flashed him a sad grin. "It's not like I'm going after the innocent in these waters anyway."

oOo

Dutch returned to consciousness slowly, his first act being to groan and reach up to adjust his ever-present sunglasses. He started awake as his fingers instead brushed his eyelids. He remembered Revy yelling for backup, grabbing the ladder, and then-

"Dutch, you're awake," Benny commented from the doorway. The man heaved himself up, noting Revy's unconscious form.

"Did you and Rock somehow fight off the boarders?" Dutch wondered, eyeing the young American critically. Benny merely shook his head in reply. "I thought not. So... Why aren't we dead?"

"Good question," Benny grunted, moving a couple steps into the room. "Right now we're dead in the water. The guy who got Revy dismantled our rudder and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean... but he was speaking Japanese to Rock, so I don't really know why we're alive any more than you do."

"How's Revy?" Dutch wondered, casting a critical eye over the young woman. Benny shrugged.

"Not good. Rock's pretty sure that the Japanese kid who boarded us broke her right arm somewhere. A hairline fracture, he thinks. Even unconscious, she was moaning whenever he touched it," Benny grunted. He raised an eyebrow at Dutch. "So, you want me to grab you some water?"

"A beer would be better," Dutch groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, they took it. Along with my computer equipment, most of the armory, and the cargo we were carrying for Jackpot. Thankfully it was just a few crates of porn. We can cover the cost of replacing them easily enough," Benny said sourly.

"The big problem is the armoury. They probably made off with a few hundred grand in weapons, if I remember the last check correctly," Dutch noted. He groaned as he got up. "Did they at least leave the integrated radio, or did they gut my console, too?"

"No, they left that alone. Ditto our food and water supplies. They didn't want to kill us or starve us, just take our goods," the blond American teenager noted.

"Fuck, I thought these waters were relatively safe," Dutch admitted. "It's my fault for letting my guard down. Now we're fucked for the next few weeks. It's not like we can do much with Revy down and out. Especially not against pirates like these."

"Actually, I was thinking about that," Rock said from the doorway.

"Go on," the black captain urged.

"What are the chances that a Japanese guy the same age as Ranma and Ryouyga has never encountered either of them, given how all three of them are at fighting hand to hand?" Rock wondered idly. Dutch nodded. "I say once we get back to port we contact Ranma and Ryouga and see what they have to say about this guy."

"Speaking of which, how long 'til we can make it back to port?" Dutch wondered.

"Not too long. We've got someone bringing us the parts we need to repair the boat. We should be back in before nightfall," Benny said.

"Good," Dutch growled. He stood. "Benny, schedule a meeting with Chang's two boys for the minute we get back to port. Someone fucked us hard today, and if there's any chance we can figure out who it was I'm all for it."

oOo

The Black Lagoon limped back to port more or less running with jury-rigged parts. Revy still hadn't woken up when they arrived, prompting Rock to call a doctor. The ambulence, really a station-wagon with a slide-out bed, took the Chinese-American woman to a clinic three blocks east of the Lagoon Company's offices.

The doctor, Johnny Cessna, agreed with Rock's assessment that Revy's arm was broken. He told them he'd put it in a cast and call them when she woke up. Rock assured Cessna that he'd be there before then. After all, he only needed to confirm a few facts with Roanapur's resident martial arts gurus.

In the two months since Ranma and Ryouga had arrived, they'd quickly made a name for themselves. People were calling them the Twin Hurricanes, based on the two facts: They absolutely refused to work solo jobs and they typically caused massive amounts of property destruction whenever a fight broke out in their vicinity. They were hired for guard work or convoys, as they refused assassinations and intimidation jobs.

Chang had admitted to Rock that both boys were pretty depressed following their job with the Lagoon Company delivering Balalaika's cargo, neither happy about having to respond with the force they did.

Later, when he had the chance to talk to them Rock pointed out that they'd tried their best.

"I've got a set of techniques... Maybe I could have used 'em to end the fight a little quicker. Maybe I could have crippled the Hind without killing the pilot. I sealed 'em, though. I promised myself that I wouldn't use 'em," Ranma had replied, scrubbing his face with both hands. He'd flashed Rock a dead look as he chuckled mirthlessly. "I didn't want blood on my hands."

Rock had wisely chosen not to press the issue further.

Since that fight with the Hind, neither boy had actually taken a life. The furthest they would typically go was breaking bones and destroying equipment. At first, the underworld of Roanapur had assumed that it was because the boys were weak, easy prey. It had only taken a week for Ranma and Ryouga to disabuse the city's gangsters of that notion when one punk too many had picked a fight with Ryouga at the Yellow Flag.

Doctor Cessna was pretty sure the guy would be back eating solid foods in just a few weeks. Ryouga had been quite irritated that the guy had walked up to him and dumped a pitcher of beer on his head.

Rock's meandering thoughts were interrupted as Ranma and Ryouga strode into the storeroom above the dock, waving jauntily as they sat down on the couch. Ryouga had long since abandoned his old clothing, opting instead to garb himself in a variety of dark silk button-up shirts, usually over top of loose white or light grey slacks, his feet shod in combat boots picked up from an army surplus store. In direct contrast to his partner, Ranma had viciously clung to his chosen fashion sense, preferring to wear Chinese tangs with plain black slacks and slippers... though unlike the one he'd worn when he first arrived, his shirt today was green.

"Rock, I'm pretty sure I know who hit you guys. Question is, do you just want what I know?" The pigtailed boy asked with a cocky grin, folding his arms. "Or, do you want me to kick Ryu Kumon's ass for breaking the tomboy's arm and robbing you guys?"

oOo

Author's Notes:

Ack. Meant to have this up hours ago. Then I realized it was a friend's birthday and I kinda had someplace I had to be. For future reference? Playing soccer in the rain for three hours while wind is blowing the 5 degree weather at 20 kilometers an hour is an interesting experience. Not necessarily fun, but interesting.

Also, the concept of drinking brandy to warm oneself is a vicious _**lie**_.

Twenty points to anyone who recognized the martial artist at the beginning of the chapter despite the costume variation! Also, a bit of bad news: I think I'm beginning to burn out a bit on this story. Not surprising, given that I've doubled the word count for it in the last week. I'm probably going to set it aside for a week or so to work on other stories.

I know, I know. It's a tease to take a break at the beginning of an arc. Mea culpa, people.


	14. Comes the Hot Blooded Dragon 2

Forcibly United

oOo

Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon

Chapter 2

oOo

"No way, Dutch! No way I'm fucking letting you get away with this crap!" Rock groaned as he threw himself onto Revy's torso, holding her down on the bed as she struggled against the blankets and her weakness after the fight. "Rock, get off me! I'm not letting you bastards out of my sight!"

"Take it easy, Revy," Dutch said calmly, nodding his head as if that settled the issue. "The job we're doing is just a supply run. No danger, no problem. We've just hired Ranma and Ryouga to take your place temporarily while we do the job, just in case."

"Bullshit!" Revy snarled, twisting and biting into Rock's shoulder. The Japanese man yelped in pain and twisted away, allowing the enraged thug to painfully sit up. She pointed the hand on her unbroken arm at her boss. "You're taking those supplies through the port at Bedok, right near where that little bastard attacked us! And you've hired those two punks to take that fucker out!"

"Nonsense, why would we try to go behind your back like that?" Rock pleaded, getting a dirty look in return. Admittedly, it hadn't been his best lie.

"He's mine! I'm going to shoot that fucker right between the eyes!" Revy promised, trying to swing her legs out of her bed. Rock caught her bare feet, lifting them and swinging them back to the foot of the bed before the woman could shift her torso.

"Revy, this is just a supply run so we can earn back some of the money we lost," Rock swore, meeting her eyes. After a moment of careful consideration, the woman nodded to her partner and settled back into her bed. "Ideally, we'd like to avoid these guys. Our reputation is damaged right now because of the attack, and if we start to refuse work in that area our credibility as a delivery service will suffer. We had to take the job."

"Alright, fine," Revy finally said, her anger deflating. She glared at Dutch. "You better not get caught again, you hear me? My rep's on the line with this one just as much as yours! Everybody knows that you don't mess with the Lagoon Company because of me! If you guys fuck things up while I'm recovering, I'll kick your ass!"

"There'll probably be no trouble, Revy. Just a quick supply run," Rock said, moving to the doorway. After a moment, Dutch followed.

oOo

"She's going to kick your ass when she finds out you lied, Rock," Dutch admonished as they walked towards the car. The man in question just smiled a bit.

"Dutch, I didn't lie. We didn't hire Ranma and Ryouga to take out this Ryu, Ranma volunteered to do so for free. We're just providing him with a basic protection contract to cover his expenses while he's at sea with us," Rock pointed out. "Besides, it'd be _ideal_ if we did avoid this guy. I never said anything about what I actually _expect_."

"Put that way, it'd be _ideal _if Revy didn't kick your ass as soon as she finds out," Dutch said grimly, opening the driver's side door of Benny's care. He paused right before getting in. "However, I _expect_ that she's going to beat you like a stepchild when she does."

Rock chuckled nervously and got in the passenger-side door.

oOo

After two hours of nothing but staring at the water, a certain pigtailed martial artist was starting to grow very bored.

Ranma glanced up from where he sat at the front of the Black Lagoon, catching a can of beer tossed by Ryouga as the Lost Boy popped one of his own. While neither boy especially enjoyed drinking beer, especially Ryouga, the Heirekan which Dutch kept stocked in the cooler beside his piloting console was generally preferable to the torpedo boat's water filtration system.

"A couple months ago would you have believed we'd be drinking beer?" Ryouga asked, sipping the drink as he gazed at the dwindling sight of a small island, the only feature visible on the expanse of water surrounding them.

"Not really. I mean, who'd have thought we'd be working as bodyguards for criminals? Fighting other criminals?" Ranma pointed out, then flashed Ryouga a grin. "Oh, speaking of criminals, did you get a chance to read Nabiki's letter?"

"What, the one where she freaks out about the picture of you standing guard with Balalaika?" The Lost Boy asked with a chuckle. He shrugged. "Yeah, I saw it. Who would have believed Nabiki was a fan?"

"Ryouga, you're asking why Nabiki would be a fan?" The pigtailed boy sighed, taking a sip of his own drink. He quirked an eyebrow. "Personally, I'm surprised she didn't bug me to get her a job."

"Nabiki in Roanapur. Now that is _a scary thought_," Ryouga noted with a shiver. He adjusted the dark blue shirt he wore, then rolled up the sleeves. "No, I just pointed it out because hearing about this Ryu guy reminded me of how different things have been."

"Yeah. You're not a fashion disaster any more," the Saotome heir pointed out, his partner's brown eyes glaring as they turned to look at him.

"Like I had any choice. Ranma, do you know how hard it is to find a store when you're wandering in the wilderness?" Ryouga returned, sitting down on a railing. He waved a hand. "Being stuck with you was the first time in a long time I've been able to actually do something right when I put my mind to it. It's pretty weird to decide to go shopping and then be able to actually shop."

"Maybe for you," Ranma snorted.

"Shut up, Saotome," Ryouga sighed. Two months of working with some of the worst criminals in Roanapur had evened out the worst of their disagreements. "Anyway, the point is... Do you think we're slowly starting to get a little too used to this weird lifestyle? I'm spending money on clothes and you're sending money back to your mom."

"I haven't sent that much back!" The green-clad martial artist pointed out shrilly.

"Ranma, you've sent over fifty grand back home," Ryouga replied, deadpan.

"Yeah, that's not that much over two months!" Ranma cried.

"That's my point! Ranma, before two months ago, did either of us ever have fifty grand to our names over the entire course of our lives?" Ryouga demanded, crossing his arms. "We've only saved up a couple hundred grand, and we still owe Bao forty for the time you and me fought the Columbians with the grenade launchers and wrecked his bar! We should have a lot more saved up than we do!"

"Aside from sending my folks back some cash, I ain't been spending my share of the funds on anything but the necessities!" Ranma groused, chugging his beer and glaring at the other boy. He thrust the half-empty can towards him. "You're the one who's spending money on random crap like those fancy shirts you've been wearing!"

"Your shirts aren't any cheaper, and I doubt buying an enchanted spatula from the three hundred years ago from Fei Chin was a necessity," Ryouga said grimly.

"It's Ucchan's birthday in a few weeks. You want I should just ignore it?" The pigtailed teenager asked.

"No, but maybe spending fifteen grand on a spatula whose only trait is that it will never rust or need to be cleaned is a bit wasteful, wouldn't you say?" The Lost Boy wondered.

"Hey, it can also banish the undead!" Ranma protested. "She might find a use for it. And like you're one to talk about frivilous expenses! I heard you talk about buying depleted uranium from that Korean guy. What the hell do you need that for?"

"Training is important! My umbrella is getting too light for me!" Ryouga informed the other boy. He grinned a bit. "I've got a blacksmith who agreed to reinforce it for me, too. I should be able to knock down a house with the thing if I need to."

"Ryouga, you can knock down a house anyway," Ranma grunted, finishing his beer. He chucked it over his shoulder, wiping his lip with his sleeve. "Why do you need an umbrella to do it?"

"...It's still costing me less than the stupid spatula," the fanged youth finally replied. He then quirked an eyebrow. "And when the hell is Ukyou going to need to banish the undead? How often are spirits and corpses going to attack?"

"The Cave of Lost Love, that stupid ghost c-ca... thing, the vengeful spirit doll at the hot springs..." Ranma said, ticking off a finger for each one. He paused to rub his chin. "Plus, that girlfriend of Gosunkugi's freaks me right out. She might be a problem some day."

"Okay, so maybe you have a point," Ryouga muttered. "You're still an idiot for getting her an undead-destroying _spatula_. It's not even combat-sized! It's not much different from the one we've got in our apartment kitchen! In fact, it's not even as good! Ours has an actual handle with ergonomic dips for our fingers!"

"Yeah, but cleaning it's a pain in the ass! Ucchan will have more time for herself at the end of the day, now!" Ranma pointed out triumphantly.

"She's still got to clean the griddle and close up her shop. You've saved her maybe a minute at most," Ryouga retorted.

"Saved her a minute _and _gave her the ability to fight off the inevitable zombie horde!" Ranma said smugly.

"...I think I'm going to go get another beer," Ryouga finally said, standing. He then stopped. "Scratch that. I think I see a boat on the horizon. I guess without his computers, Benny didn't notice it coming. Let's go tell Dutch."

oOo

"It's a good thing you spotted them. I didn't quite understand how blind we were without Benny's equipment, I guess," Dutch noted. He handed Rock a pair of binoculars. "Rock, head up top and see if the guy following us is this Ryu guy who attacked us before. Benny, you take over for me here. I'm going to need to support these two."

"Got it," Benny said, sitting in the chair after Dutch stood up. He glanced up. "Do you want me to keep the current heading, or should I be trying to evade them once they get in range?"

"Keep our heading. I'm confident that we can deal with these guys," the large black American grunted, pulling his revolver from his holster and checking the ammo. He quickly filled a pair of speed-loaders with hollow points, only glancing up as Rock climbed back down the ladder.

"Dutch, it's them. Their leader is standing on the prow of their boat," Rock informed the man. He grinned, snapping the cylinder of his S&W 629 shut with a firm click of metal.

"Well boys, time for you to earn your pay," Dutch said with a grin, gesturing to the hatch leading outside.

"Last time you said that, I woke up in the bunk downstairs with a big headache," Ranma complained, leading the way.

"Last time you had to fight a helicopter. This time you've just got to fight a few people," Dutch noted pragmatically.

In the distance, the boat rapidly closed with the Black Lagoon.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Bugger it. Part of the reason I wanted to delay the story is because I'm not looking forward to writing this arc as much as I'm looking forward to writing other arcs. Amber, my pre-reader for another story, pointed out that waiting to write more because I wanted to write something that happens later in the story was counter-productive at best.

Damn woman and her logic!

Anyway, on the bright side, this arc is only going to be a few chapters more. Then it's time for a horror-ish story called Sealed In Stone which might just be a little longer. I'm looking forward to that one.


	15. Comes the Hot Blooded Dragon 3

Forcibly United

oOo

Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon

Chapter 3

oOo

Ryu Kumon had spent the last the last year training.

Ever since his defeat at the hands of Ranma Saotome, he'd spent his days developing his own branch of the Yamasenken into an art which could be used to preserve life instead of taking it. The pigtailed man's stern lecture during their fight had struck a deep chord in Ryu.

These days he understood: Martial arts were meant to preserve life. They were meant to be a beacon around which people could gather, not a darkness from which everyone would flinch. One who fought for those who couldn't defend themselves was a man who was to be admired. One who fought with true conviction could surpass any inherent limits in their style to grasp victory.

These days, raiding the evil people who emerged from Roanapur's harbour, Ryu understood what it meant to fight for life. The villages in the area he and his men raided from, they were the ones who benefited from the hundreds of thousands of dollars of stolen goods. He'd even started working with the police in a Malaysian town no more than ten kilometers from where his pirates were camped.

That town's police mascot, Greta, greeted him with a broad smile as he and his men docked at the town.

"You know, Ryu, sooner or later Papa is going to have to arrest you for all the guns your men carry around with them," Greta informed him sternly. Wearing a light blue sun dress which contrasted her platinum hair perfectly, her frown proved to be an indomitable force.

"Is that any way to talk to me, Greta?" Ryu wondered, patting the girl on the head. He watched as his men lowered the metal gangway to the concrete pier. "Is Darien around? I've got some things for his clinic."

"_Doctor Grey _is around," the girl informed him, pouting cutely as she crossed her arms. One finger quirked up, holding a set of car keys. "He said he expected you tonight, so the loading bay for his dock is unlocked. His truck is parked in the usual place."

"Is that disapproval I hear?" Ryu wondered, tapping his chin and accepting the keys from the girl. He flashed a sly smile at the girl. "The way you're acting, you'd think I wasn't the one who delivered half the equipment which allowed _Darien_ to keep you alive."

"You should have more respect for those who can save lives!" The girl growled, jabbing him ineffectually in the ribs. "All you and your men can do is threaten people! You can't save lives with bullets, you know!"

"I know," Ryu admitted, pulling the girl into a tight hug. He stroked the crown of her head, smoothing the greyish-silver tresses into a modicum of order before releasing her. "That's why I do what I do. I can't save lives, so I just supply the men who can with the equipment they need to do their job."

"That's why I like you," Greta informed him, crossing her arms sternly as she glared at the camo-clad boy. "You know you aren't allowed to get a girlfriend! When I'm old enough, you're going to marry me! Alright?"

"Now, Greta... I'm going to be an old man by the time you're old enough to get married! You'll want someone your age!" Ryu informed her. "You're going to make some boy very happy when you're older. It's a shame, but I don't think it's going to be me."

"You'd better wait!" The girl informed him angrily.

"I can't promise I will," Ryu hesitantly told her.

"So if you don't have a girlfriend and I'm old enough, you'll date me?" Greta asked, her eyes shining as they met his.

"I will," Ryu said with a decisive nod.

"I'll hold you to that, Ryu Kumon!" The girl said with a pout, before dashing down the pier.

"Heh. By the time she's old enough to think about that sort of thing she'll be interested in boys her own age," Ryu chuckled to himself as he watched the European girl dash back towards her Papa's house.

She was insufferably cute, that was for certain.

There was no doubt in his mind that once she was old enough to understand relationships, once she was old enough to realize why she liked a cute guy in her class, she'd be a power around which he'd have to tread carefully. He recalled the shy smile she'd flashed him, promising himself he'd have to visit at least a small amount of agony on the guy who'd dare to date the innocent girl.

In his more honest moments, he could admit that she was part of his reason for being the man he was today. He'd been adrift, directionless, when Dr. Grey had asked him for an impossible amount and quality of medical equipment. He'd taken the request for a challenge, and pushed himself to his limits just to get some of the more obscure items.

In that month where Greta hovered in the realm between life and death, Ryu had gladly entered himself and his crew into the Shit List of dozens of prominent gangsters. During that month, hospital equipment and funds which some of the best clinics in America would have been jealous of made their way to Dr. Darien Grey's stucco building to compliment the money Greta had had on her when she was found.

Men and women entrusted to cure some of the worst diseases known to mankind had been entrusted with less than the retired American doctor. Dr. Grey had repayed that trust and more by essentially resurrecting the young girl now crushing on Ryu from the dead. Before he'd known of her plight, Ryu might have passed Greta by as an impossible case.

No girl with a gunshot wound to head could possibly live. Not without a series of miracles fueled by good luck and a certain martial artist. Once Darien had suckered him into caring, Ryu had refused to give up on the stricken girl: As young as twelve or thirteen, with a weapon she was far too light to have ever wielded on her body as she bled out on a dock? It was obviously a setup of some kind. There was no way a girl as kind and sweet as Greta could deserve a fate like that.

He was helping her search for her brother, as well... Though for some reason, something about the thought kept dancing at the back of his mind.

Almost as if the solution was right in front of his face.

oOo

Ryu was lounging on the deck of his ship when he heard Kyo call from his spot at the helm.

"What's up?" Ryu demanded, springing to his feet and entering the cabin. His helmsmen grinned at him from where he studied the computer.

"Remember that torpedo boat we raided the other day? She's back out on the water again," Kyo informed him, increasing the throttle and adjusting course.

Ryu nodded his assent, but something about the situation bothered him. They'd been thoroughly defeated and humiliated just two days earlier. They'd lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in military-grade weapons, cutting-edge computer equipment, and disturbing porn.

The first two he'd been able to sell or distribute with ease. The latter he'd just dumped into the sea with a shudder.

He moved to the front of his boat, hand shielding the sun from his face as he glanced across the water at his next target. Indeed, it was the Black Lagoon. The torpedo boat was a rather unique sight in the oceans south of Thailand. Ryu knew that Revy, their gunwoman, was currently indisposed. He was sure he'd broken her arm when he'd fought her.

So why would they bother to ship out? Did they expect her to fare better despite her handicap now that she knew how he fought? Or did they have an ace hidden up their sleeves?

"Binoculars!" Ryu bellowed, holding a hand out as he stared at boat ahead of him, slowly growing large as their lead narrowed. After a moment, one of his crew slapped a pair into his hands. He brought it to his eyes and focused them on the three figures staring at them from the back of the torpedo boat.

The large black man he recognized, having knocked the man out as he exited the top hatch of the boat the last time they'd crossed paths. The boy standing to the man's left was new. He wore a fine silk shirt of some sort overtop of white trousers, glaring across the water at Ryu's boat as if to stop it by the fierce set of his eyebrows.

The third figure was very familiar to Ryu. Frighteningly so.

Ranma Saotome stood at the edge of the boat, watching Ryu's advancing boat with a boredom which belied the situation he now found himself facing.

"Men, raise a white flag," Ryu growled, thrusting the binoculars into the chest of the man nearest him. His men hesitated, clearly confused. "Raise the flag and get that boat on the radio! Tell them we're not going to solve this fight on the water!"

"Boss?" Kyo asked hesitantly, sticking his head out of the door of the cabin. "You want to challenge these guys fairly? Why?"

"Don't ask why! Just do it!" Ryu snapped, sitting down and glaring at the boat in front of him.

He wouldn't lose again! He refused! Especially if that bastard had fallen so far he was throwing in with the criminals from that cancerous city!

He would win this time!

oOo

Ranma eyed the boat's white flag warily as it approached, narrowing his eyes at the sight of Ryu Kumon standing proudly on the front tip of the boat.

"It's been a while, Ryu. I'm surprised you're pulling this sort of crap out here when you should be working on rebuilding a fighting style that works for you," Ranma informed the boy, crossing his arms. The youth in the military gear quirked an eyebrow.

"And I'm surprised to find you working with brigands like this, Saotome," the Kumon-dojo heir replied. He glanced at the torpedo boat critically, shaking his head. "That fragile thing couldn't possibley host our battle... and my boat is worse. We can't fight here."

"Where's the nearest island? We'll settle this issue there," Ranma growled, punching the palm of one hand with the other. He smirked ferally at the other boy. "Besides, I'm interested in seeing what you've come up with to replace the Yamasenken. I always knew you'd have to be a smart bastard to even figure it out, so I'm sure you've got something I'm gonna be interested in seeing."

"The Kumon school has grown to eclipse the Saotome school," Ryu informed him with a glare, crossing his arms. He jerked his head, and the other boy's boat started to accelerate. "Follow me and I'll prove it by beating you unconscious!"

"Ranma Saotome don't lose!" Ranma yelled, turning to Dutch. "Look, we follow 'em. I can beat this bastard. We can make the entire sea south of Thailand safe for people. Anything you lose for being late with this delivery you'll gain back, and more, for getting rid of this jerk."

"I agree," Dutch admitted, tapping one finger to his earpiece. "Benny-boy, follow the other boat. We're about to get a clinic in just how insane the Japanese are with their martial arts."

"I'll get the camera equipment ready," Benny groaned in reply.

The Black Lagoon lurched around to follow the other boat.

oOo

Author's Notes:

_Le twist!_

I felt like expanding a bit on Ryu's motivations and tying Greta's plotline into the story a little more. The battle between Ryu and Ranma will commence next chapter, I promise. This arc will probably be wrapped up in the next two installments. Then it's time for the _Sealed In Stone _Arc where Ranma, Ryouga, and the crew of the Black Lagoon encounter a mythlogical creature from Thailand!

Also, a big thanks goes out to Cylon One for the editing work they've been doing with the story. Previous chapters have been edited for typos, spelling errors, and even the misuse of words. They're probably a lot more bearable to read thanks to Cylon One's work.


	16. Comes the Hot Blooded Dragon 4

Forcibly United

oOo

Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon

Chapter 4

oOo

Ranma glanced over at the Lost Boy as he read the note. Ryu had just warned Benny that the island was five minutes away. Ranma figured that now was as good a time as any to test out the potion they'd recieved.

"Well, this is just damned evil," Ryouga grunted, handing the note he'd unwrapped from the vial Wong Fei Chin had given them. The vial which would allow them to circumvent the thirty foot barrier imposed by the magical bracers.

"Aw man, no way!" Ranma hissed, shaking the note. He glanced over at Ryouga. "This sucks. I'm gonna need to be able to move if I want to fight Ryu fair and square. That means you're stuck taking the potion."

"I don't want to feel that! That's revolting!" Ryouga protested, crossing his arms.

"Neither do I! And I'd be all distracted for the fight if I'm the one who takes it! You gotta do it, man!" Ranma pleaded with the other boy, who merely shook his head. The pigtailed martial artist then pointed over Ryouga's shoulder. "Behind you!"

"What?!" Ryouga spun, searching the seas for the threat. WHAM! Force that would have buckled the steel plating on a cruiser struck the back of his head. He spun back around. "Ranma, what the hell was that for!?"

"Damn Bakusai Tenketsu training and it's stupid freaking invulnerability," Ranma muttered, ignoring the boy for a moment as he glared at his own fist. He then glanced up. "If I knock you out, I can feed you the potion and you won't have to remember the freaky experience."

"...Remember that you have to hit me around two hundred times to knock me out," Ryouga informed him, turning his back to his rival once more.

W-W-W-W-W-W-Wham! Ranma took it as a measure of his increasing strength that the Lost Boy's knees buckled after only one hundred and sixty nine strikes, each delivered at Amaguriken speeds. Turning the face-down boy's unconscious form over, he thumbed open one of his rival's closed eyes, making sure it was "seeing" him.

Then Ranma poured the love potion Wong Fei Chin had given them down Ryouga's throat.

Just as promised, Ranma found he could move to the other end of the torpedo boat, far outside the normal limit the bracers enforced.

Ranma grinned.

oOo

Ryu glanced across the beach. Not fifty feet away, Ranma Saotome stood across from him, his stance loose and open. He was ready for anything.

Well, nearly.

"Time for you to see the results of my training, Saotome!" Ryu growled, sand exploding at his feet as he pushed off the ground, aiming at his foe. Predictably, Ranma leapt to the side to avoid the attack, rather than meet it. Ryu landed and immediately twisted into a backhand which had no way of connecting with the boy.

Of course, that wasn't his plan. Ryu's blunt form of the Kijin Raishu Dan hammered the sand at his pigtailed foe's feet, sending him tumbling.

He'd planted his hands when Ryu closed the distance. While Ryu gave the other Japanese youth credit for trying to block the hammer-blow with his feet, both knew that Ranma was sorely off-balance. Ryu grabbed the boy's feet and pulled, leaving Ranma's torso momentarily horizontal. The camo-clad boy's rising knee met his descending elbow, with Ranma's kidneys cushioning both from the force.

The pigtailed boy lashed out with his far leg, catching his opponent square in the chest and launching him back. It was enough to open up some distance between them.

"Damn! You've gotten better," Ranma groaned, coughing as he slowly rose to his feet.

"You too, Saotome. Last time I fought you, I would have had you with that first strike," Ryu replied, rubbing his chest. He'd discarded the kevlar vest he'd been wearing before arriving at the beach, and his ribs were now informing him that it had been a terrible idea.

"You used a variant of the Kijin Raishu Dan to kick up that sand. What's the name of the technique?" Ranma wondered, crouching low. Defensive, ready to respond to any attack.

"It doesn't have a name, yet. It's blunted. It trades cutting power for striking force. Not much different from a chi blast, though not quite as strong," Ryu admitted. He narrowed his eyes. "Shall we?"

Not waiting for a response, he dove towards Ranma once more.

oOo

Dutch watched the fight, his cigarette hanging loose in his mouth. Beside him, Benny watched with similar amazement while the camcorder took in every detail. Ranma was currently trading blows with his foe faster than either of them could follow: They couldn't actually see what caused one or the other to kiss the ground, all they could see was the two exchanging blows and then one or the other would be skidding along the ground, kicking up a massive wave of sand.

Both had heard the boys describe their abilities and heard similar stories from Revy. They'd even seen a demonstration of it back on the boat, after the fight with the Hind-D. Still, seeing it in actual combat got across a great of context which had been, until this moment, lost to both of them.

"Let me tell you Benny-boy, I've got to give Revy a raise when we get back," Dutch said, cracking open a Heirekan. He took a sip before continuing, "These maniacs are crazy. I mean, I'm good... But she claims that she can keep up with them?"

"She can hold her own," Rock admitted with a chuckle, glancing up at Dutch. "Remember that job we did with them a month ago?"

"What about it?" Dutch asked.

"Well, these two are just getting warmed up. Knowing Ranma, the real fight is only getting started," the former salaryman replied, turning back to watch the fight intently. "It's not that they're any more destructive than Revy is with her M79. It's just that they're doing it with their bare hands."

"That's what makes it so impressive, Rock," Benny quipped.

oOo

Ranma knew the fight was going poorly. Ryu's ability to wave his arms and then blast the sand at his feet was crippling his ability to fight. No matter how masterful he was with the Saotome School of Anything Goes, he hadn't yet mastered the ability to actually fly, and so Ryu was being patient and waiting for the times when Ranma would land and his foe had a good angle.

So far the battle had been more or less even, but years of training in the Yamasenken's brutally direct style had left Ryu Kumon with strength that nearly rivaled Ryouga's and endurance superior to Ranma's. Even his speed was improved from the last time they'd fought, coming close to matching the Saotome heir's.

That meant that fighting an endurance match was out. Ranma had to end it before Ryu wore him down. The pigtailed boy snorted to himself at the thought: It was no different from many of his other major fights.

He was glad of one thing, however: Ryu had indeed sealed the Yamasenken, as promised. Though many of the moves in the boy's style were obviously based on the same sort of domineering power The Way of the Noisy Thief relied on, they were now Ryu's own. Even his new ranged attack, though obviously based on the same basic principal of the Kijin Raishu Dan, was radically different in both it's execution and lethality.

His was now a style meant to preserve life, to fight to defend instead of to harm. Ranma was genuinely glad that his opponent had taken that from their previous fight and grown thanks to it. Of course, the fact Ranma had the bad luck to be in a position to experience the new style first hand wasn't exactly the sort of thing he'd been hoping for.

As he ducked under a ball of compressed air which shattered one of the many boulders littering the beach, he grinned.

Who was he kidding? He would have wanted to fight Ryu the next time he saw him regardless of whether or not he was paid to do it. Hell, he was tempted to buy the guy a beer when he woke up after the fight just for showing up the tomboy in the first place.

A blast of air caught him in the small of the back, sending him further inland. He groaned as he got to his feet. He knew he'd have to win the fight first, if he was going to offer Ryu a beer afterwards. He eyed the forest which edged the beach and grinned.

"Perfect," he whispered to himself.

oOo

Benny groaned and closed the cam-corder as Ryu dove at Ranma, driving the pigtailed martial artist into the woods.

"Guess that's all there is of recording this fight," Benny muttered.

oOo

Ranma leapt between tree branches as Ryu shattered the limbs around them, noting grimly that visibility was getting rather low. A shower of leaves more or less blocked Ryu from sight, leaving Ranma and his foe to find one another by sound.

Ranma knew where Ryu was due to the source of the hardened balls of air. He assumed that Ryu knew where he was because of the rattling of tree branches, though he couldn't be sure just how Ryu was managing to tell the difference between a foot on a branch and a branch striking another branch.

Or perhaps, he mused, Ryu wasn't. Perhaps he was using a variation of Kijin Gundai Ranbu to just throw those balls of air around the forest. If that was the case, Ryu wouldn't be able to move from the center. He'd be right there, where Ranma could strike.

The pigtailed boy used the cover of the leaves to close in on his target, leaping high into the air and preparing to descend on Ryu from above. The added force of his fall could mean the difference between victory and defeat.

Descending through the leaves, his foot dropped heavily onto his target.

oOo

The battered rock had served it's purpose, as Ryu had used the angled piece of granite to deflect his attacks into the foliage. He'd done so under the assumption that Saotome would seek the center of the attacks to strike.

He watched as his foe shattered the stone with a heel drop, watched the brief confusion on the boy's face. That confusion was already fading to horrific realization as Ryu closed.

oOo

Ranma spun, partially deflecting Ryu's punch as he blindly threw dozens of his own at Amaguriken speed, tracking blows up the boy's left arm and ending on his chin in the fraction of a second it took for Ryu's much stronger blow to blast Ranma back into a tree trunk.

Ranma's head struck something solidly and darkness claimed him.

oOo

It had been nearly ten minutes since the trees had stopped shaking when Rock heard the sounds of underbrush shaking. His eyes widened as he saw two figures emerge: Ranma was helping Ryu through the brush, and both boys were arguing. Ryu's left arm hung at an odd angle, broken or dislocated.

"You won fair and square, Saotome! I can't continue the fight!" Ryu growled, head butting the boy weakly.

"Bullshit! You knocked me right the hell out with that last hit of yours!" Ranma argued, returning the head butt. "I mean, I'm the best, but even I know when I've lost!"

"My arm's broken, jackass!" The camo-clad teenager argued, gingerly lifting is left arm a bit for emphasis. "You were only knocked out for a couple of minutes! I was too busy focusing on my pain to finish you off, even if I wanted to!"

"Who're you trying to kid? Broken bones don't hurt that much!" Ranma countered.

"Ever broken one?" Ryu asked with a grimace.

"Nope," the pigtailed boy confirmed with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, then don't comment about something you've never experienced. Believe me, I wasn't going anywhere," Ryu growled.

"Fine, I win! I still want a rematch as soon as your damned arm is healed! No way I'm letting you get off this easily, Kumon!" Ranma said, handing the defeated boy over to his comrades.

"You'll get it, Saotome. I still haven't perfected my arsenal yet," Ryu growled. He slowly offered a hand. "I'm just sorry the fight ended the way it did. It's never any good for either person when it's so close to a draw as it was."

"You're damned right," the blue-eyed youth noted, taking the extended hand. He grinned a bit. "At least I get to tell the tomboy that I evened things up for her with your arm."

"Well, unless your other friend wants to punch me in the face-" Ryu began.

"I do," Dutch confirmed.

"-which he can do sometime else," Ryu replied, before continuing, "I guess me and my men should be on our way. We're out of these waters, Saotome. We'll find other pirates to pirate from." He glanced over at Dutch, producing a key. "Look, I can't exactly repay everything that I stole from you. I can offer some replacements, though. Follow my boat to our current dock and you can take your pick of what we've stolen from the other reprobates in the area before me and my men take the scraps."

"You've got yourself a deal, kid," Dutch said with a feral grin.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I'd like to address a point Ushio raised in a review of the last chapter, since I can't contact them: People _having _to die in the Black Lagoon setting. Black Lagoon is not like that at all: _Nameless Mooks _die all the time, but that's because they're explicitly there for characters to shoot to show how awesome they are. _Named characters _die pretty rarely unless they're specifically the antagonists for a story arc, and even then it's by no means a guarantee.

Anyway, as regards other matters... You can expect this first story arc to come to a close in three days, just in time for Forcibly United having been in existence for one whole month! No matter how long the last chapter is (and it'll be one of my longer ones, I think), it'll be finished and up in three days to celebrate.

Then, the next arc will begin sometime soon afterwards.


	17. Comes the Hot Blooded Dragon 5

Forcibly United

oOo

Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon

Chapter 5

oOo

With a solid kick, Ryu bashed open the unlocked door to his warehouse. He glanced over at Ranma with a grin as the other boy's jaw dropped.

The warehouse was, to put it bluntly, loaded. Crates of weapons, ammunition, computer hardware, military hardware, and random plunder were stacked high from one end of the rather large building to the other. It would have taken an entire fleet of torpedo boats like the one owned by Ranma's boss to cart away the contents.

"You've been at this a while, haven't you?" Ranma's friend, Ryouga, muttered darkly. The boy had an icepack held to his head, and Ryu assumed that Ranma had had to knock the boy out to keep him from interfering. The fact he'd done as much to a man who apparently refused to be away from Ranma at any time spoke volumes about how seriously the pigtailed boy had taken their fight.

"We've hit more than our fair share of _pirates_," Ryu admitted, scratching at the sling holding his broken arm. He turned towards the older black man. Dutch, if he remembered correctly. "Like I said, you can have first pick of anything in here. Your armoury had a lot of top quality items. I'm sorry to say that those were offloaded almost immediately. Some of Blondie's stuff might still be in here somewhere, and if it's not I'm sure there's some equipment which is just as good."

"Not going to give us the grand tour?" Ranma asked with a grin.

"Sorry, Saotome. The local doctor is going to have to fit me for a cast thanks to our little fight. I should be back in an hour or two. Pack your boat until the water-line's an inch from your deck, for all I care. I'm going to be offloading what's left before my men and I sail west," Ryu waved his good arm as he departed, adding, "My men will help you load up your boat. Don't leave until I get back, alright?"

"Get that damned arm fixed," Ranma ordered, meeting the other boy's eyes. "You and me are going to have a beer when you get back and have a chat about that new style of yours."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Ryu said with a grin, before walking towards the clinic.

On the walk over, he knocked on Greta's door, smiling sadly as the girl answered. He knew he'd have to move on sooner or later, and it was only fair he give the girl the option of sharing the last few hours he'd spend in this village.

oOo

Dutch couldn't keep the smile from his face as he pored over the collection of items he'd unearthed. Fuck the guns, fuck the hardware, fuck everything else he'd found in the place up until now. This was what he'd been hoping for, and the punk Ranma had fought certainly didn't disappoint.

He tore off the cheap sunglasses he was wearing, discarding them to the side with one hand as his other slowly reached out to grab his new love. The sunglasses were rimmed in solid silver titanium, oval-shaped the way he liked, but a little smaller than the average pair of reading glasses. The dark tinting was a deep grey with just a hint of red, striking the happy medium of being light enough not to be a hindrance in the night, yet dark enough to keep out the bright light of the sun. They had even been treated for glare and reflection.

The best part, he realized as he read the tag, was the state of the art chemical they'd been coated in. The label promised that even in the heaviest rains, droplets would disperse or run off with only a small decrease in visibility.

Dutch slipped on the pair of sunglasses with a feral grin. The only way they could have been more perfect was if they'd had guards for his peripheral vision.

Now that he'd finally replaced his babies with an acceptable subsitute, it was time to go see what his recent benefactor had in stock which could hope to replace the stock of weapons which had been taken from the Black Lagoon's weapons locker.

With sunglasses this bad ass, Dutch knew he was in for a treat.

oOo

Doctor Darien Grey was not a happy man. He glared at the source of his irritation, a young man who frequently brought him a lot of work. This was the first time he'd ever had to treat the little bastard in question for injuries, however. It was always his subordinates who had injuries and maladies.

Never Ryu Kumon.

"So how is it, Darien?" The boy asked, wincing as Dr. Grey shifted his broken arm a little.

"It'll be a lot better once I get this cast on you," the silver-haired doctor replied, poking the boy in the arm and eliciting a gasp. "What the devil hit you? I've seen you laugh off hits that would leave a normal man paralyzed and comatose for life... Did you decide to get into an argument with a tractor-trailer?"

"Nothing as bad as that," Ryu admitted as he lifted his arm slightly, allowing the older man to begin wrapping the splint in bandages which would allow the broken limb to heal correctly. "It was just a fight."

"Just a fight?" Darien prompted, quirking an eyebrow.

"Just a fight with a guy on my level," Ryu admitted with a slight grin. "He's gotten a lot better. I used to think that I had to have surpassed him by now. I'm glad I'm mistaken."

"How do you mean?" The doctor asked, applying more plaster to the bandages while briefly glancing at his patient. "I would have thought you'd be disappointed that you've not gone beyond your foe."

"He's proof that my abilities aren't anywhere near where they could be," Ryu noted sagely, his eyes growing slightly distant. He sighed, waving his free hand. "Every martial artist fears the day when they discover their peak. The day they discover the limit that training can take them to, the limit on just how strong, how fast, or how skilled they can be. Until my fight today, I was worried that I'd hit that peak."

"And now?" Grey asked, reaching for more bandages.

"Now, I know I've got so much more I can improve. Saotome didn't really use any of his special techniques and he still fought me to the edge of a draw! He might have underestimated me a bit, but that just means I've got that much farther to go!" Ryu said passionately, clenching his good hand. "Once my arm heals, I need to redouble my efforts. I need to win my rematch with him!"

"A broken arm and you're already thinking about the next fight. You're such an idiot, Ryu!" Greta's voice intoned sternly. Both men looked up to see the girl crossing her arms and glaring at the young Japanese man. She stormed in, holding a note. "And what, exactly, is this note? You're leaving!?"

"It's not exactly safe here anymore, Greta," Ryu said sadly, not meeting her eyes. He reached out, taking her hand and holding it for a moment before meeting her silver gaze. "I always knew that my men and I would have to move our base sooner or later. We'd have to if we didn't want the people of this town to suffer for our actions. With my broken arm, I can't fight like I might need to. I don't want to draw the pirates I've been robbing down on the people of this town."

"Your arm will heal though. You don't have to go!" The girl pleaded, grabbing the boy in a rough hug. Dr. Grey noted the wince on his face as he wrapped his good arm around the girl.

"Greta, my arm won't be healed for weeks. If my comrades mess up just once, all the criminals in Roanapur might descend on this place for vengeance. I've done too much good for this town to see it burn for my shortcomings," Ryu told her.

After a moment, she drew back, eyeing him critically.

"Well... Fine, but you'd better visit! And until you leave, I'm going to be right beside you no matter what! Do you understand!?" Greta demanded, crossing her arms and pouting cutely.

"Don't look at me," Darien Grey informed his patient with a chuckle when the boy shot him a helpless look. "I'm no better at dealing with that look than you are."

The European girl didn't even bother trying to hide her victorious smile when Ryu finally nodded.

oOo

Rock wandered through the warehouse, taking a casual inventory of the contents, when he ran across them. He had no real eye for weaponry. His eyes weren't suited to telling the difference between a well-produced gun or a poor one, but something about the items he saw drew him to take a closer look.

At first glance, they looked like flashy showpieces. The exact sort of weapon which Revy would hate to use. Both were variants of the basic 9mm Beretta, though to call them such was a gross misrepresentation of the amount of customization which had obviously gone into their design. Most of the basic parts of each piece had been replaced with upgraded components.

That was obvious. What wasn't obvious was how the pistols were the color and material they were. One was made of what appeared to be ivory. Rock had to touch the pistol to make certain, but the distinct feel of the thing confirmed it. It was, indeed, made of bone... Yet somehow, it was able to withstand the pressure of actual weapons fire. It was just as amazing as the onyx stone the ebony gun's pieces appeared to be _carved from_, likewise showing no sign whatsover of wear and tear despite the completely illogical choice of material.

Wonderingly, Rock picked up the white pistol, his eyes widening at the lightness and balance to the pistol. He wasn't trained to use such weapons, yet just holding the thing made it feel like a natural extension of his arm. He clicked off the safety and aimed at a can on the floor, firing on instinct.

He was supremely surprised to see the bullet pierce the can only a centimeter to the left of where he'd tried to aim it. He raised the white pistol close to his face, inspecting it for the maker's markings. The only production mark was a dedication to 'Tony Redgrave', whoever that was.

Rock scooped up the other pistol, quickly stashing the pair in a plain leather bag.

Revy had lost her custom Beretta 92Fs. While these were a little flashier than she might have liked, he was certain she wouldn't complain about the balance. In fact, he mused, they might go a long way towards smoothing over the difficulties between Ranma's friendly rival and Revy regarding her broken arm.

The woman liked revenge, he knew. She liked nice weapons a lot more. Perhaps if he presented the opening of the armoury partially as an act of reconciliation, with him finding these pistols in particular, she wouldn't be inclined towards violence the next time Ryu happened to grace Roanapur.

He wasn't willing to bet on it, but combined with Ryu's own broken arm, it might be a start towards a reconciliation of sorts.

Rock was so lost in his thoughts, he was completely unprepared for the flying tackle which he recieved as he turned around.

"Big brother! I knew you'd find me!"

Rock recognized the voice, much like he recognized the face which was smiling down on him.

Yet what he was seeing was impossible.

Gretel was alive, and Gretel was smiling.

"You're alive?" Rock gasped, reaching up to cup the girl's chin. She leaned into his hand with a contented smile, firmly grabbing the hand with both of hers. "I don't believe it! You're alive!"

"She was in a bad way when Dr. Grey found her. Shot in the back of the head," Ryu noted sternly, and Rock turned to see Ranma's foe eyeing him with undisguised malice. "You'd better have a damned good explanation for me or I'm afraid your sister is going to be an only child very soon."

Ryu was clearly no match for Ranma in his present condition, yet the older Japanese man knew that the only thing standing between him and death was the disabled boy's good will.

Rock gulped.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Two days early. The next arc is beginning right where this one ends instead of having a longer conclusion. It's a lead-in thing, so nyaaah!

And thus, the first story arc is ended. I've finding the concept of working on a story in arcs a little weird but overall it's been a good experience. It helps me focus the attention of the large cast I've saddled myself with on a relevant subgroup of characters, and lets me just get on with things. I may have to transition this new method over to my other stories to help focus them.

Certain Capcom fans might recognize Revy's new pistols. Colors aside, the Tony Redgrave thing is a supplementary materials thing. Shout-out or set-up for a future arc? You'll find out. Heh heh heh.

Next up is an arc called _Rock's Little Sister_, which will deal with Greta being brought back to Roanapur, with her acclimating to her new life and the various people who knew her old self getting used to the idea of her being around. This is the arc I've been looking forward to writing, so you should expect an aggressive release schedule.

Well, more aggressive than normal, I should say. If such a thing is possible for me.

By the way: This officially takes me to beating the NaNoWriMo challenge (writing 50,000 words in a month) with one story. Just because I know Lady Shinimegami was probably going to say something about me dispersing my writing like I did the first time I hit my mark.


	18. Rock's Little Sister 1

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 1

**This is being posted two hours after Comes the Hot-Blooded Dragon 5. If you haven't read this story in the last day (as of Oct/8/09), go back and start with Chapter 16, which was posted late last night.**

oOo

Greta blinked at the hard tone in Ryu's voice. She'd finally found her brother! The look in his eyes, the relief... It was enough to prove he'd been just as worried about her.

Wasn't it?

"Greta, we've just found your brother, right? Shouldn't you get your things ready to go with him?" Ryu asked casually, belying the stern statement he'd put to her brother only a moment before. The young Japanese boy met her eyes, silently asking her to leave.

"Ryu... Be nice, alright?" Greta demanded sternly, getting to her feet and dashing for the door. She paused to turn back, seeing Ryu help her older brother to his feet. Satisfied that immediate violence wasn't about to break out, she dashed to her foster home.

She'd need to pack if she wanted to leave with her brother!

oOo

"You'd better have a damned good explanation for why she was found with a bullet in her head and a machine gun too large for her to use planted on her dying body on the docks of this town, otherwise I'm not sure that girl's ever going to be reunited with her brother," Ryu informed the shocked man firmly, doing his best to look stern.

"It wasn't planted," the other Japanese native finally said, fishing a cigarette out of it's package and lighting up. He raised an eyebrow at the Kumon heir, smiling sadly. "And if the genetics didn't make it obvious, she's not really my sister. I did know her before she wound up here."

"What do you mean it wasn't planted!? She had a damned assault rifle that weighed nearly a fifth as much as she does! How could she possibly fire something like that!?"

"It wasn't planted. She's quite well known in Roanapur for the work she did with it," Rock continued, taking a drag and breathing out the smoke. He smiled sadly. "She can fire that weapon because it's a Browning 1918 Automatic. It's got a recoil-suppression system which is unsurpassed by a lot of modern-day firearms. I know that because after I lost Greta, I did some research on the weapon. Bonnie, of Bonnie and Clyde, fired the exact same weapon. Bonnie was a hundred and six pounds when she died, including the dozens of bullets in her corpse."

"She's twelve," Ryu denied with a growl.

"She's killed more people than most people in the world," Rock replied nonchalantly. The sheer truth and simplicity the older man invested into the statement rocked Ryu back a moment. The Lagoon Company member dropped his cigarette, grinding it into the pavement. "In fact, she's smiled more times in the few minutes I saw her than the entire time I knew her before she wound up dying on the dock here."

"What the hell happened to that poor girl?" Ryu whispered, leaning against the crates behind him.

"She was a child soldier for the Sicilian Mafia. She and her brother were sent to Roanapur about six months ago to kill Balalaika, the head of Hotel Moscow. Her brother, Hansel, died at the hands of snipers when he tried to kill his target with a fucking axe," Rock told him, not pausing at the way Ryu's face went pale. Nor did he meet the young man's eyes, instead staring distantly. "Gretel, or Greta I guess, hired my company to see her safely away.

"We had a contact here. We escaped the mafia, not to mention their military contacts, to bring her here. She'd hopped off the boat and promised to have a picnic with me when our contact shot her in the back of the head with a short-barreled revolver," Rock said, stepping away so Ryu could only see his back. The younger man wasn't sure, but he thought perhaps Rock's voice choked a bit at the last statement. "She'd never seen the sea or the sky, and Balalaika's military contacts were closing on us. I chose to let her last vision be one she'd never seen before instead of the inside of a ratty tarp."

"Who the hell were you to her that someone like you is her only memory?" Ryu whispered, his voice harsher than intended. Relatively slow as it was, the older Japanese man's punch into a crate still startled him.

"I was the only person who ever gave a shit about her until someone killed her." The white-shirted man stalked away, leaving Ryu to gaze after him.

oOo

Dutch caught his Japanese employee's attention with a wave, causing him to stroll listlessly towards the cache of weapons the black man had found in one of the crates.

"Rock, would you believe the shit this kid has laying around here?" Dutch asked jovially, indicating the rifles in the crate. Most were a superior grade to the dozens of other crates littering the warehouse. He then noted the look on the young man's face. "What's up?"

"We're in trouble, Dutch. I think. I mean, I'm sure it's going to be trouble, but it's not," the Japanese man sighed, running his hand back through his hair. "Fuck, I don't know. This is pretty fucked up."

"What's pretty fucked up?" Benny asked, carrying a computer tower past. He rested it on a crate, while Dutch silently nodded. The ex-soldier had taken note of the swearing. Rock didn't swear like that unless he was especially shaken.

"Fuck. Well, you remember how you said this town looked familiar, Benny?" Rock asked, prompting the blond American to nod.

"This is where Gretel died, Benny-boy," Dutch informed his employee, nodding once. "Sad tale. So what does this have to do with us, Rock?"

"Remember how we all saw Gretel die when she got shot in the back of the head, Dutch?" Rock asked, prompting a nod. "Remember how none of us were ghoulish enough to actually check her for a pulse because Balalaika's military friends were closing on the Lagoon from the east anyway?"

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me," Dutch groaned, hand slapping his face. After a moment, he glared at the other man. "Now would be the time you tell me why this is our fucking problem."

"Big brother!"

Dutch was surprised at the smiling, energetic girl in a yellow sun dress who tackled Rock. Between the change of clothes, the shorter hair, and the actual joy on the girl's face, he would have been hard pressed to I.D. her as half of the two-child rampage which had more than a few gunslingers dead six months ago. Yet he could vaguely see it. Enough that he knew someone as smart as Balalaika could see it as well.

"Did she just call him big brother?" Benny asked Dutch quietly, leaning in conspiratorially.

"That would be why this is his, and by extension, _my _fucking problem," Dutch groaned.

He glanced down at the weapons in the crate. Just a few minutes ago, the day had been going so well, too.

oOo

"We're not leaving her, Dutch," Rock informed his boss firmly, crossing his arms. He'd noted the way Benny and Dutch had been talking in low tones while he'd been chatting with the pre-teen. He'd finally told her to say her goodbyes to Ryu, gently pushing her towards the Japanese pirate.

Ranma and Ryu were currently joking around with the young girl, while Ryouga sat off to the side and nursed his headache, leaving the trio of Lagoon Company employees to discuss the problem. Rock had flatly thrown aside the idea of just leaving the girl, noting her dependence on him.

"I'm not saying I like the idea," Dutch said with a frown, crossing his arms and inhaling deeply, the cherry on the end of his cigarette burning bright for a moment. "But have you considered how this is going to come back and bite us in the ass? Balalaika did her best to kill this girl once already."

"I think I can handle that," Rock admitted reluctantly, taking a sip of the tea he'd brewed in Ryu's office. "Though Balalaika and Revy are going to be the two biggest problems."

"Revy didn't really get along with that girl," Benny noted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "The problem, like you said, is Balalaika. She had to have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars making sure that Gretel died. She's not going to be happy to find that the money was poorly spent."

"The girl she ordered killed _is_ dead, though!" Rock said pleadingly. "Dutch, that girl doesn't remember anything. I've talked to her. All she remembers is that she's my little sister and she's been searching for me. We can't just abandon her."

"That's not going to fly with Balalaika, Rock. We both know that," the black American said sternly. "Balalaika wanted blood, and you know she never stops until she gets it. Once she finds out that Gretel is alive, she's not going to care that the girl doesn't remember what she did. She's going to want to put a bullet between those cute little eyes herself."

"We can dye her hair. I can handle Balalaika. Trust me, she won't figure out what's going on," Rock said. He sighed, glancing over at the girl. "With her shorter hair dyed black, she won't stick out. I can make something up to cover things on Hotel Moscow's end. It's just... She deserves to be happy, Dutch. You know how fucked up her childhood was. This is her chance."

"Fuck me..." Dutch grunted, putting out his cigarette as he glared at his employee. With his new sunglasses, the gesture had little effect. Rock met his stare evenly, though there was more than a hint of desperation in the calm-looking young man's eyes. "Fine. Rock, understand this clearly, though... It's going to be up to you to explain this shit to Balalaika _when_ said shit hits the fan. Are we clear on that?"

"Who are we kidding, Dutch?" Benny asked lightly, grinning at the confused look his boss flashed him. "Revy had it right when she said Rock has that woman wrapped around his pinky finger."

"Didn't you call her one of the three scariest women in the world, Benny?" Rock asked. He shrugged. "How the hell do you think I have one of the scariest women in the world wrapped around my fucking pinky?"

"Not one. Two," Dutch teased, raising an eyebrow at the incredulous look on Rock's face. "What, you think I haven't noticed the way Revy's been acting lately? You do know you've got more control over her than I do, and I can at least _pretend_ to scare her sometimes. You control her with just your voice, Rock."

"Maybe next time the Terminator Maid's in town he can go three for three," the blond teenager beside them noted with a chuckle, moving away to pick up the computer tower and moving towards the boat.

"You're both insane," Rock concluded, stalking over to where Gretel was playing with Ryu.

oOo

Greta waved to Ryu as the Black Lagoon slowly pulled away from the pier, the weight of all the supplies Ryu had given her big brother causing the big metal boat to sink heavily into the water. The cute boy on the pier waved back with his good arm, the broken one sporting a doodled pink heart and her name.

That'd make sure the boy remembered her.

She heard a step behind her. Without knowing how she knew, she knew it was Rock. She spun with a smile.

"Well... Greta," Rock said, seeming to fumble over the name. He held up a bottle of black hair dye. He'd said that some mean people where he lived had tried to kill her without going into details. Greta hadn't pushed, seeing the incredibly sad look in his eyes when he'd said it. "Are you ready?"

"I'll always be ready whenever you are, big brother!" The cheerful girl said, latching on to his arm.

She couldn't contain her excitement. She'd found her big brother. She was going to be living with him permanently!

Nothing could spoil it for her!

oOo

Author's Notes:

This is going to be an interesting arc. Mainly character development, unlike the last arc. Things will go back to action sooner or later, I promise. Don't expect much Ranma and Ryouga over the next three or four chapters, unfortunately.

I think I'll take a break for the rest of the night. Three chapters in a day or so is enough for me. Probably.


	19. Rock's Little Sister 2

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 2

oOo

Ryouga glanced between the girl pouting in Ranma's direction and his tang-clad partner. His head, he reflected, would not feel entirely right for days. While he was sure that it was preferable to falling in love with the pigtailed jerk for even an hour, he still was feeling quite irritated with his rival. He opened his mouth to give voice to that thought.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

Ryouga paused. Odd, he could have sworn his voice sounded a lot more masculine. He blinked, realizing it had come from the little girl, who'd abandoned pouting in favor of an outright glare which Ranma was meeting with confusion. Greta, if he remembered correctly.

"What are you talking about?" Ranma demanded. "What've I done to deserve that kinda talk?"

"What, you want a list?" Ryouga muttered to himself, though not loud enough for either to hear him. He'd heard far too many variations on this particular argument, with a variety of participants, since he'd first found himself wearing one of the Bracers of Jian and he had no wish whatsoever to participate in yet another one. Instead, he flipped idly through an old newspaper.

"You broke Ryu's arm! Why would you do something like that?" The girl demanded, crossing her arms and attempting to look stern and severe. Her now-jet black hair, disheveled from the recent dye job, and her cheery sun dress greatly contradicted the concept. "How would you like it if I broke your arm, huh?"

"How would a weak little girl like you break my arm?" Ranma demanded, quirking an eyebrow.

Ryouga slapped a hand to his forehead. He wondered if it was possible for Ranma to grow up to the mental equivelant of fourteen, maybe fifteen years old. _Ever._

"That's not the point! What you did was mean! Ryu didn't ever hurt anybody! You didn't need to break his arm!" The girl said angrily. The glower she directed Ranma's resembled anger like a newborn golden retriever puppy resembled a snarling Doberman... The idea was there, but the threat just was not.

"He was robbing us. Besides, he wanted to fight me! You saw! We were getting along just fine afterwards!" The blue-eyed teenager protested, shrugging.

"You're still an idiot," the girl informed him.

"Yeah, well you're a spaz. Why are you getting so worked up about things?" Ranma demanded.

"I'm not a spaz, you idiot!" Greta told him crossly.

"You sound like one to me," Ranma said smugly.

Ryouga got up, ignoring the discussion as it got more and more childish. He couldn't go far... only into the hallway, but at least by shutting the door to the lower cabin of the Black Lagoon he could listen to the dull throbbing of the engine as it powered towards Roanapur instead of the two inside.

"Ryouga, what's up?" Rock asked, emerging from the ship's tiny washroom, his hands finally rinsed clean of the awful dye he'd used to colour his adoptive sister's hair. Ryouga glared at the Japanese man.

"I already have to deal with one child all the damned time. I refuse to babysit two," Ryouga declared.

"What do you mean?" Rock asked lightly.

Ryouga just jerked his thumb towards the door in reply. Inside, two raised voices could be heard through the metal walls of the ship.

"Ranma does realize he's having an argument with a girl who's six years younger than he is, right?" Rock asked uncertainly.

"He's _losing_ an argument with a girl who's six years younger," Ryouga sighed bitterly.

Rock glanced once more at the closed hatch, before simply shrugging and heading up the ladder. Without looking, Ryouga caught the can of beer Rock tossed from the level above.

"Thanks Rock," Ryouga said, cracking open the Heirekan.

oOo

Rock was now in a hell known only to a fraction of the male population.

In fact, despite the girlfriends he'd had in the past, what he was undergoing at the moment was an entirely new experience. For the first time in his life, he was shopping with a girl eager to replace her entire wardrobe.

Upon arriving in Roanapur, Rock and his recently adopted problem had both realized the same thing: The two sun dresses and the random t-shirts and shorts Greta wore simply wouldn't do for a permanent wardrobe. They needed to go shopping.

He hadn't counted on the complete transformation Greta had undergone beyond his vision.

Gretel, as he knew her, would have simply grabbed a few of the more elegant gothic dresses off the shelves, perhaps tried a couple on, and then they'd have both been out of the store. The entire experience would have taken twenty minutes or less of his time.

Not so with Greta, the girl masquerading as the innocent face of the merciless killer he'd met. She tried on dozens of shirts, dozens of skirts, and dozens of pants, all eyed critically and the majority of the initially chosen items culled because of a poor fit or a bad 'look'.

Two hours in, Rock was beginning to seriously contemplate the poor choice which had led to him not allowing Revy to put a bullet between his eyes at Cho's ramen stand. It was his own mistake, he knew. He couldn't have anticipated this torture.

As Greta twisted in yet another dress, put on display for Rock, the Japanese man prayed for something, _anything,_ to come and break the monotony of his experience.

He was sorely annoyed with Fate when she saw fit to deliver Balalaika to the entrance of the store. Though the woman didn't initially take notice of Rock or his new charge, the Japanese man knew that the whole world was arrayed against him. It was only a matter of time before she did.

"Rock? Why would a man such as yourself be in a clothing boutique such as this?" It was no surprise when, not two minutes later, he heard the Russian teenager's voice. Though Balalaika's question feigned surprise and displayed only casual interest, he knew she was going to connect the dots sooner or later.

He'd _hoped _that maybe he'd have a whole day or so to deal with the consequences of his decision. Twenty four hours to set Greta up as his little sister in the minds of Roanapur's residents and deflecting Greta's true identity from Hotel Moscow's interest through the pursuasive effects of rumour.

Of course Fate would screw him like this. His luck only extended to making sure the women in his life didn't shoot him, or one another, in the face. He'd been a fool to expect his luck to go beyond that uneasy truce.

He could only watch in mute horror as Balalaika closed with the girl.

Despite the smile on the Russian's face as she talked with Rock's surrogate sister, he knew this was something which could only end poorly.

oOo

"So, you're Rock's little sister?" Balalaika asked. The girl nodded cheerfully, a broad grin on her face.

"Yeah. I've been looking for him for a loooong time!" The girl added, then pouted cutely. "Figures he'd be the one to find me, though. He's so reliable."

"I've noticed the same thing," the Russian teen admitted, earning a small smile from the girl.

"So who are you? How do you know my brother?" Greta asked, her eyes quickly travelling up and down Balalaika's figure.

"We've worked together in the past," the head of Hotel Moscow admitted. She paused, reaching out to take a white dress from she shelf. "This would go well with your dark hair, my dear."

"You're right!" The girl chirped. She eyed Balalaika critically. "So you know my brother pretty well, huh?"

"You could say that. Your brother is a rather complex man, you know. I don't think even the people he works with fully know him," the blond told the younger girl. She grabbed a blue dress for herself. While she liked red, she thought perhaps she could experiment a little. She added, at "He's very, very sharp."

"I see," the girl said. The tone of voice caused Balalaika to look the younger girl in the eye, causing Greta to grin impudently. "You like my brother, don't you."

"I don't think there's anyone in this city who doesn't like Rock. He's smart, kind, and he does try to solve his problems peacefully if he can. That sort of behavior is a novelty in Roanapur," Balalaika admitted.

"No, no... I mean you _like _my brother, don't you," the girl repeated.

Balalaika wasn't slow but nor was she a native English speaker, despite her proficiency. She was also in her mid-forties, a fact not reflected by her currently-teenaged body. It had been decades since she'd even given thought to the concept of a crush, let alone been told she herself had one.

"That's ridiculous," Balalaika scoffed, turning away from the girl.

"You're blushing!" The younger girl crowed, sing-song.

"Do you have any idea who you're teasing?" Balalaika demanded, turning to glower at the girl. She met the heated gaze with a broad smile.

"Yep. The girl who has a crush on my big brother. Speaking of which..." Greta's gaze moved past Balalaika to a spot directly to her left, and Balalaika turned to see the young Japanese man in question. He smiled politely, casting a fond look at the young girl teasing the Russian teen.

"Is everything alright, ladies?" Rock asked, reaching out to ruffle his little sister's hair. She immediately grabbed him in a hug. "What were you talking about?"

"Nothing much. I was just introducing myself to her," Balalaika informed her occasional comrade. He nodded, the glanced down as Greta started to speak.

"And talking about her crush on you, big brother," the young girl added. Her eyes were flashing in amusement at the glare Balalaika directed her way. "Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't supposed to tell! Rock, pretend you didn't hear, okay?"

"Balalaika..." Rock said softly, meeting the blushing Russian's face. She didn't like the little bastard, she was just embarrassed that it'd been said. This was a topic of discussion she wasn't interested in pursuing. "Look, I'm really rather flattered, but..."

Balalaika glanced at him in mute horror. Had she just_ been rejected?_ In a race she hadn't even been entered into, naturally, but... Wait. The corners of Rock's lips twitched, before a giggle escaped. Finally he started laughing, then glanced down at the girl latched onto his side like a barnacle.

"Look, it _was_ funny, but what did I tell you after your fight with Ranma?" Rock askded, still chuckling.

"_No teasing the gangsters,"_ Greta recited, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry Balalaika, but she seems to have a bit of a prankster streak in her," Rock said. He shrugged, continuing, "I mean, it's pretty funny, right?"

That was it. She refused to be shown up by this little punk again. He'd been getting far too comfortable in her presence for her liking. It was time to teach him a very direct lesson.

"Who said it was funny?" Balalaika demanded, stepping forward and leaning in very close to the Japanese man. He flinched back a bit, causing the Russian teen to grin ferally. "Who said she hasn't revealed something I didn't plan to reveal sooner or later anyway?"

"Wha-" The rest of Rock's protest was cut off as the blond's hand snaked up, grabbed the back of his beck, and pulled him into a rough kiss. After a moment, she let the thoroughly dazed boy loose.

She'd be damned if she wasn't going to intimidate the boy one way or another. If violence wouldn't do it, she'd find something else that would. Given the way his eyes were roiling and the flabbergasted look on his face, she knew she'd succeeded.

She walked off, turning slightly to glance at the dark-haired girl at Rock's side.

"It was nice to meet you, Greta," she said, walking out and getting into the limo. Boris just returned her nod as she got in and began driving towards her home.

The only problem on her mind now was just where she'd seen the girl's face before.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Balalaika needs victories against Rock, too. She likes intimidating people. She can't intimidate Rock by violence. Ergo...

I don't think until now I've written a chapter which could be termed pure humour. This corrects that mistake, I think. I'm not saying that it didn't also advance certain aspects of the plot, but I'm happy that I was able to do so in a way that wasn't angsty. Screw angst, and the stick up it's bum!

Anyhoo, as has been pointed out, Ranma is acting kinda childish. The thing is, that's what he does. He's serious for Akane (occasionally), truly dangerous opponents, and his mom... and that's more or less it. He pretty much goes back to his childish behavior outside of those three things and even then he's not averse to indulging in it. He'll have to grow up sooner or later, I'm sure. *cough*hint*cough*

That aside... Sorry for the delay. It was Turkey Day in Canada, so this weekend was pretty much a write-off. Tonight and some of tomorrow as well... _Arkham Asylum_ won't play itself, you know, and Lady Shinmegami is coming over to play with me. And watch Black Lagoon. And watch movies. And play Portal, perhaps. Speaking of which... Anyone who's sent me a PM, I will respond, but I've got twenty minutes at the time of posting 'til she gets here and have not cleaned my place or showered yet. Sorry.


	20. Rock's Little Sister 3

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 3

oOo

Rock held the box as he approached Revy's apartment, suddenly nervous about the gift. The black and white pistols were packed neatly inside with the sort under the shoulder holster she favored. What if she didn't like them? What if she'd already replaced the Cutlasses she normally used by the time he got back?

Finally he straightened up. This was, at least, a more thoughtful gift than that hideous shift he'd temporarily pawned off to Benny. He'd been dismayed the day Benny had given him back the 'loan', and with Revy watching he'd been hard pressed to do anything but accept it with a thankful smile. The grin she'd flashed him when he had was almost worth the ugly thing hanging in his closet.

He knocked.

Inside the apartment, he heard a grumbling as Revy got off of her couch and stomped towards the door. She jerked the door open with a glare which immediately faded.

"Rock? What the fuck are you doing here?" Revy asked, raising one eyebrow at the Japanese man. He flashed her a slight grin.

"I've got a little present for you. Something that I picked up off of a mutual acquaintance which he thought might interest you," Rock said, stepping inside. He set the box down on the table, reflexively catching the Heirekan the Chinese-American girl tossed him and popping the tab on the beer. He took a sip before glancing at her nervously. "Have you gotten around to replacing your Cutlasses yet?"

"No, I haven't. I haven't had a chance to contact my gunsmith yet..." Revy admitted, her eyes suddenly lighting up with realization. "You got me guns!?"

"I got you guns. A pair of Berettas to replace the ones you lost. They felt pretty balanced to me, and the recoil was almost nonexistent. I was surprised," Rock admitted, moving aside as Revy took a seat next to him, her unbroken arm eagerly tearing away the wrapping and opening the box.

"Rock, you moron! These aren't Berettas!" Revy growled, turning to glare at the Japanese man, who gulped. "Take a look at it for yourself, the trigger's got a guard to keep things from slipping behind. Combined with the slightly longer barrel length and..."

Rock tuned out the woman with well-practiced ease as she went on to detail every single thing wrong with his assessment of the pistols.

"...and I mean, it has .45 right on the engraving to this Tony Redgrave guy right here!" Revy finished, causing Rock to begin to pay attention once more.

"Sorry, Revy. It's my mistake. I was an idiot to pick up a pair of weapons when I don't know anything about them," Rock admitted.

"You're damned right. I mean, look at the material of these things! They probably have horrible balance!" Revy continued, snatching up the black pistol for emphasis. Rock noticed the way she froze right away.

"What is it?" Rock asked, smirking. Perhaps he'd been wrong about the weapon's caliber, but perhaps he'd not been wrong about the quality.

"This gun isn't loaded, is it? No gun could possibly be this light fully loaded," Revy said, more to herself than to her partner. She clicked off the safety and fired at her wall, ignoring the angry yells from her next door neighbour with practiced ease. "Holy shit!"

She clicked gun's clip release, catching the thing and bringing it to her eyes. They widened further and her jaw dropped in a subtle gasp.

"Revy, what's wrong!?" Rock demanded, grabbing her arm.

"Rock, I fired this fucking pistol, didn't I?" Revy demanded in an eerily calm voice. Rock nodded, causing the dark-haired woman to tilt the clip so he could see. Inexplicably, the device was still fully loaded. The slit of metal which ran to the base of the thing revealed it was full of bullets.

"That's impossible," the Lagoon Company deliveryman stated, watching as Revy silently loaded the clip back into the pistol. She fired once. Twice. Three times. She continued to fire bullets for nearly thirty seconds, firing once a second. Each time beyond the eighth shot, their eyes widened as bullets continued to issue from the barrel.

"Rock... This gun..." Revy began, her eyes finding his. He flinched at the feral look of joy in her eyes, then winced as the butt of the gun hit the back of his head as she grabbed him in a tight, temporary hug. "You got me a fucking magic gun! It fires more smoothly than my Cutlasses ever did AND it never needs to be reloaded!?"

She snatched up the white gun, lacing the wall with twenty shots which spat with lethal accuracy as fast as she could pull the trigger.

"Two! Both of these fuckers are magical!?" Revy crowed. Rock's eyes widened. Were those... Tears of joy in the woman's eyes? She snatched him in another hug. "Drinks are on me! We're going to the fucking Yellow Flag to celebrate this shit, Rock! Call Benny and Dutch so we can show 'em these bastards!"

Rock's stomach dropped out of his torso.

This could only end _badly_.

oOo

Greta smiled as she walked through the small market.

It was getting to be near dinner time, and she was planning a special meal for her big brother. Earlier that day while they'd been shopping for clothes, he'd lamented that he hadn't had any decent tacos for over a year. She planned to correct that mistake tonight.

Greta had fresh lettuce, tomatoes, and onions in her basket. What her sensitive nose told her was indeed fresh ground beef was wrapped in butcher's paper next to it, and she was browsing the flat bread aisle for something that was thin enough to substitute for the tortillas used in the dish. The found a flat bread which was thin enough and added it to her basket with a smile.

Now all she had to do was find the cheese and spices. She remembered that Rock had some sweet paprika in his cupboard, but that wouldn't do. She firmly put a few hot peppers in her basket, alongside some hot paprika. Despite the high price, she added some jalapeño peppers to the mix. She was sure the older boy would appreciate the kick.

That left cheese. Unfortunately, the shop didn't carry any Monterey Jack. On the bright side, the shop did carry a decent white cheddar which could more or less substitute.

She made her purchase and had made it half way home when she noticed the men following her. Hoping against hope that she could avoid a confrontation, she sped up her walk and took a shortcut down an alley.

Two thugs leaning against the wall moved to block her way. Both were well-dressed, wearing fine-cut suits with silk shirts underneath. One was clearly Asian of some sort, his hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. The other was a dark-haired Caucasian, his hazel eyes not reflecting the smile on his face.

"Excuse me, do you think I could pass?" Greta pleaded, clutching her bag of groceries close. The men chuckled at her expression. The Caucasian stepped ahead of his compatriot, slapping the groceries from her hands. Greta spun and ran. "_Help!_"

Her escape was cut brutally short as she ran into a pair of men closing the entrance to the alleyway. Her pleading eyes went to the pedestrians in the street, all of whom made a visible effort to keep from meeting her eyes.

"Looks like you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, little girl," the Asian commented from behind her in smooth English. She turned to watch the amusement on his face with dismay. "See, you happen to be close to that bastard Rock in the Lagoon Company. You're going to be a lesson that they need to stop taking our business, or else bad things might happen.

"See, we can't touch them. Not directly. They're all too dangerous, except maybe for your friend Rock. And nobody's crazy enough to lay a finger on him without Balalaika's say-so," the man continued, pulling a butterfly knife from his pocket which he flicked open with ease. "You? You don't have that protection. Sorry little girl, you get to suffer for Lagoon's ambition."

Though his tone was full of sorrow, it was rendered a terrible lie by the glee in his eyes as he advanced.

"S-Stay back!" Greta yelled, shrinking against the brick wall. The men closed in on her.

None of them noticed the silver flash in her eyes as her gaze narrowed and she grinned, her feral instincts taking over.

The Asian tried to stab her quick, in the heart. The girl twisted her hands and a sharp plain blossomed in his chest, and he looked down to see his own blood staining the knife buried directly between his third and fourth ribs. He didn't even have the voice to curse his own death.

"Oh, you shouldn't have attacked me, mister," _Gretel_ declared, savoring the horrified look on the dying man's face. His companions didn't even have time to do more than gape before the knife was pulled with a sickly sucking noise from the Asian's chest to begin to reap their lives. "You can't run from me! I'll catch you _all!_"

Blood soon stained the alley, though none of it was hers.

Moments later, _Greta _calmly collected her groceries, muttering quietly about the bruising the tomatoes had taken, and made her way home.

She couldn't afford to waste time when she had to make her big brother the meal he so wanted, after all.

oOo

Rock tried to focus as he fumbled with the keys to his door.

Revy's celebration with the rest of Lagoon Company over her new guns had been short, but he'd still managed to drink more than he'd intended. Yet, being a good big brother, he'd caught a cab back to his apartment long before Greta had told him he'd need to be back. He smiled as he caught the scent of fresh ground beef being cooked in just the right combination of spices as he opened the door.

He hadn't actually expected her to make tacos for him, though he certainly wasn't about to complain.

He was sitting at the table when something penetrating the drunken fog surrounding him, telling him something was amiss. His eyes travelled to the discarded bag of groceries on the counter, which, despite being more or less empty, still held an odd, slightly-rectangular shape.

Rock stood and moved over to it, returning the hug Greta gave him as he moved past her. Keeping an eye on the younger Romanian girl to make sure she was focused on the cooking beef, Rock reached a hand into the bag and pulled out the object.

The blood caking the butterfly knife hadn't yet had time to dry.

As Greta turned to him, he pocketed the knife and returned her grin.

He would protect her, no matter what it took.

Even if it meant protecting her from herself.

oOo

Author's Notes:

60,000 words! One more filter, and I'm showing up no matter how high people set the word count in a search! Though I'm surprised I've carried ANY story this far. I thought for sure I'd never take any story this far, especially with things more or less just _beginning._

This arc is going to last another four chapters or so. I'm merging what used to be two arcs into one, slightly longer arc. I'm sure it'll work out far better.

Time to fess up. I wasn't originally going to admit to it, but I messed up Dante's pistols when I described them. Originally I cited them as Beretta 9mms, like Revy's 92Fs. Instead, they're actually Colt 1911 .45's. To be fair, both pistols do look a LOT alike to people who aren't gun-crazy. Thus, my mistake becomes Rock's mistake.

Anyway, as you might have noted in my profile, I've got some emergency repairs to do starting tomorrow morning. No updates for a few days, methinks. I know, I know... Right when things are starting to get interesting.


	21. Rock's Little Sister 4

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 4

oOo

It was late evening, and Dutch had gotten a call from Rock just as he'd been about to leave the Yellow Flag. Bao had waved him back to the bar, and the young man had asked that Dutch meet him at Lagoon Company office as soon as he could.

Lacking anything more urgent, Dutch had agreed, which was why he was currently lounging in one of the rather comfortable sofas which he had ordered on Chang's dime after the man had had to replace most of the interior of the building.

Dutch looked up as Rock tossed something onto the coffee table, having just entered the Lagoon Company's office. His brow raised at the sight of a bloodied switchblade, folded closed, then found the other man's intent gaze.

"Dutch, we've got a problem. I found this in Greta's shopping bag," Rock stated, sitting down across from the black man with a weary sigh.

"Didn't we agree that this was going to be _your_ problem when the shit hit the fan?" Dutch grunted, picking the knife up. He tossed it back down after a second. "Well... You're in luck, I guess. I'm not going to say I like your little sociopath carving people up, but she did it to the right guys."

"What do you mean?" Rock asked, his tone suddenly hopeful.

"Well, word on the street is that some people have had a problem with our company for a while now, but have been unable to retaliate for our supposed affronts," Dutch explained, leaning back. "It seems that four bastards from this group decided that your new friend was a fucking opportunity. Whatever happened, it was probably self-defense on her part."

"I'm not sure that reassures me," Rock grunted, then his scowl weakened at Dutch's questioning look. "Well, it reassures me a little. I was worried I'd have to stick her in a mental hospital somewhere. If it was just her defending herself... Maybe everything is okay. Maybe she won't get violent unless her life is threatened."

There was a long pause as Dutch lit up a smoke.

"You don't believe that any more than I do," he said, exhaling. Dutch waved a hand. "She's a killer. Ain't no two ways about it, Rock. She knows blood. She likes blood. She's going to draw it from someone as soon as she can."

"So you're saying that it's hopeless," Rock groaned, his hands rising to meet his falling face.

"I never said that," the Japanese man's employer noted, quirking his brow at the questioning look on the young man's face. "What, you think Revy was a fucking saint before she started working with me? When I first hired her, she was maybe a step above where Gretel and her brother were the first time they visited Roanapur. You don't reform people like them, Rock. You just change the way they classify their targets."

"That's a pretty grim view of things," Rock noted, lighting the cigarette in his mouth.

"It's a pretty fucking realistic view of things," Dutch corrected.

"So you're saying that no matter what I do, Greta can't live an innocent life? She can't have a normal day at school, with classmates, and maybe a crush on a cute boy? She's got to live a life filled with violence and carnage until another fucking bullet hits her in the forehead and finally ends things for good this time!?" The Japanese man spat, his glare moving from his boss to the man outside.

"...A year ago, I would have said that she couldn't escape that life," Dutch admitted. He stubbed his cigarette out, moving to the beer fridge and tossing rock a Heirekan before opening one himself. His voice turned wisftul. "A year ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd see Revy smiling about anything that wasn't related to guns or liquor, either. You changed that, Rock, so it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to tell you that you couldn't change that little girl's fate, too."

"It's just so overwhelming, Dutch. She's just a little girl. She's been acting like a little girl ever since she ran back into me. I have trouble associating her with the trouble back then," Rock finally sighed, drinking deeply from his own beer. "I thought things were going to be fine and that the biggest problem I'd have to deal with was Balalaika. I never thought..."

"Yeah. Though... Speaking of problems..." Dutch began, his face taking on a look of mock ferocity.

"What is it now? Does Balalaika know? Is this group after us big and powerful?" Rock asked fearfully.

"No, the problem is you gave Revy a pair of fucking magical guns," Dutch admonished, crossing his arms. "No, really. What the fuck were you thinking? Revy doesn't have to fucking reload, now. Yeah, it's going to be great for expenses and as a tactical advantage, but was her being death on two legs just _most _of the time she had two guns in her hands not enough? Did you really have to cover that problem?"

"I didn't know they were magic. I just thought they were nice guns she might enjoy," Rock admitted weakly.

"A pair of nice guns taken from the warehouse of a man who's main rival changes his fucking gender depending on the temperature of his bath," Dutch growled.

"She's probably trying to figure out how to turn off her TV with her pistols," Rock said, shaking his head. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Right at that moment, Ranma Saotome crashed through the window, carrying a comatose Ryouga Hibiki along with him. He dumped the sharply-dressed youth in Rock's lap and glanced out the window, a quartet of bullets striking the ceiling as he jerked his head back.

"Admit defeat, or sooner or later I'm gonna get you!" Revy's voice cackled from a floor below and thirty feet away.

"You had to ask, didn't you?" Dutch demanded as glowered at his Japanese employee.

Rock returned the chuckle weakly.

oOo

_Ten minutes ago..._

Revy was lingering over her fifth (or was it seventh?) rum and coke when _he_ walked into the bar. Ranma Saotome himself. Bold as brass, he walked up to the bar with his partner in tow.

"You two sissies decided that you could drink, now?" Revy chuckled, drinking deeply from the glass in front of her. She quirked an eyebrow at the bar's owner. "Bao, get these two some rum. On me. I'm feeling generous tonight."

"I don't really feel like drinking," Ryouga said, his face going pale. He backed up as Revy forcefully pushed the drink up to him, forcing his hand to rise to catch the drink or allow it to spill all over his nice shirt.

"Come on, Ryouga..." Revy tried, managing something that resembled a sultry voice. "You wouldn't be such a poor gentleman that you'd let a fine lady like me drink alone, would you?"

"Of course not..." Ryouga protested weakly, draining his cup with a gasp as Revy sipped her drink. Ranma made a point of not touching his.

"Fine lady? Where?" Ranma asked. As Revy began to glare at him, he flashed her an apologetic look. "Wait, you're right... There is a lady present." His voice grew louder. "Hey, Shenhua! You want a drink?"

Neither of the two combatants noticed as Ryouga drained Ranma's glass, glaring at the pigtailed boy all the while. Both were too busy glaring at one another to take note of anything else.

"Bao, more drinks," Revy snarled. As Bao filled two more glasses with rum, she smirked. "You know, Ranma... I've got a new set of pistols. Much better than the ones I had last time."

"Oh please, tomboy... Like you've gotten any better since last time. Let's just let things be. I'm better than you. We both know it," Ranma said. He leaned his head to the side as Revy drew her ebony pistol, the shot putting a neat hole in the outside wall of Bao's bar. "Close, tomboy! That almost hit me that time!"

Unnoticed to either of them, Ryouga once more drained two full glasses of rum. As their argument escalated, his titanic fortitude lost the battle against nearly a full bottle of south Carribean rum and he passed out.

"Fine! You want it, you got it, tomboy! A rematch, same deal as before! You've got until your guns run outta bullets! If you win, I'll apologize to you! If I win, you admit what a tomboy you are in front of everyone here!" Ranma snapped, crossing his arms. "Is that fair, tomboy?"

"Oh, it certainly is," Revy admitted, drawing her ivory pistol. "I lose when these guns run out of bullets, and you lose when I tag you with a shot. Sounds fair to me."

A flurry of shots traced Ranma's jump.

His eyes widened as she continued firing, apparently not caring that she might soon run out.

His eyes widened further when the guns continued to pump out bullet after bullet with no care whatsoever for the ammo already expended.

oOo

"...and she's fired like, six hundred shots since she chased me outta the bar!" Ranma finished, ducking the wall as more shots rang out from the street below. "Why the hell don't her guns run outta ammo!? Who was the jerk who gave her magic guns!?"

"Rock, I believe this is your cue," Dutch coughed, grinning at the enraged look on one Japanese man's face and the surprised look on the other.

oOo

Balalaika reviewed the security tapes, looking for something that might pique her memory. Her men had descended on the boutique hours ago: the Russian was not a woman who allowed mysteries to fester within her mind, and nor was she one to make a mistake when she thought she'd made a positive identification of a face.

If she thought she'd seen Rock's little sister Greta before, she had. The only question was where and when. She needed to know who this mysterious girl living with Rock was, and she needed to know right away. The poor boy was far too trusting.

Boris and several other men were poring over the security tape and drawing their own conclusions while the blond teenager sat in her chair and watched the tape of their encounter over and over again. Despite the gnawing feeling that she knew the charming girl from somewhere before, Balalaika was unable to identify where.

Until the photo crossed her desk.

White-blond hair spilled down over a heavy gothic dress. Rather severe for a twelve year old. The Russian mob leader only had to pause the boutique video for a second to confirm what her gut already sang to her.

Rock's little sister was the murderous little bitch who'd helped kill two of Balalaika's men with the little bastard she'd watched taken apart with fifty caliber rounds six months ago. She was the other half of an equation she'd long thought solved.

There was no question in her mind that Gretel, or _Greta_ as she was calling herself, would die.

The only question was whether or not Rock would join her.

Rock knew that the little bitch had killed two of Balalaika's soldiers. Two of the men she held closer to her heart than her own life. Rock knew what it meant for someone to kill a soldier of Hotel Moscow.

Balalaika ruthlessly crushed the small part of her that hoped Rock didn't know.

She knew the Japanese bastard was smart enough to have connected the dots before she herself had.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I gotta admit, guys... I'm getting a wee bit burned out writing all of this character development stuff. Once this arc is finished, I'm probably going to take a break for an arc to recharge the creative batteries. When I opened OpenOffice to write this chapter it kinda felt like a chore, which I never take as a good sign.

It's partly the reason this chapter is mainly comedy/action. Aside from the beginning and end, it's pretty much filler.

I'm going to be finishing up this arc very soon... So it's time for you all to hit up the poll I've organized to determine which arc I should go with next. Clicky-clicky on my profile and the poll is right up at the top, plain as day.

Both are action-oriented. You all simply get to choose which arc I write. One option has Ranma and Ryouga working with Eda, the second has Ranma and Ryouga heading back to Japan. They're more or less self-contained, so go ahead and vote now! The winner gets written next!


	22. Rock's Little Sister 5

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 5

oOo

**Preface: **No other to way to put this, I used a really offensive word in this chapter. Yes, even for the rating I gave this story and considering the sort of language used in Black Lagoon. And yes, it is **that** word and it is used rather offensively.

_**Read the Author's Notes before you judge me on it. **_

oOo

Sitting in the black sedan in front of Hotel Moscow's headquarters, a tall man pondered fate and the road which had lead to the circumstances he now found himself facing.

Boris was a well-trained professional. He was a veteran soldier, de-facto leader of the Desatniki's day-to-day activities thanks to Balalaika's other interests, and above all, the last line of defense between the woman's life and anything which might threaten it. His devotion wasn't hard to question, given the hell he'd lived through for the decade he'd spent in Afghanistan.

His scar was the reason Balalaika still lived. He considered it a personal shame that the scars she currently bore weren't his own.

Pondering the war, the Russian man saw a rather perverse irony in the United States' current invasion of the country. He'd routinely fought against United States-trained foes during the war. He presumed that at least a few of the same United States troops who'd trained the Afghan rebels as grunts had now advanced far enough in the military that they were forced to plan strategies around the very same men they'd once taught.

He idly scratched the scar tissue on his nose as he waited. His Capitan was late. Then again, she'd been rather... _different,_ of late. She was certainly more emotional than the girl he'd seen rise above him. The young sniper who'd come to his unit had been a rather terrified creature at the outset of the war. Terrified, like all of the new recruits were terrified, but otherwise she'd been somewhat detached from it all.

It was that detachment which eventually made her a good commander.

This emotional Balalaika was new to him. Not that it caused his devotion to her to wavered one iota, of course. She'd more than proven herself in the years since she'd risen to command first her squad, then her unit, then her own small army. Each and every man under her command was willing to gladly die for her for a very good reason.

Yet these days... Half the time she was like a spoiled young woman, not the capable military leader he was familiar with. Never before had she thrown tantrums over being bested intellectually. Even when her foes had outmanouvered her and cost her the lives of her men in the Afghan war, she'd merely clamped down on her anger and done her best to fix the mistake.

She had never needed to go "shoot something repeatedly" in the past, like she'd had to after dealing with Rokuro Okajima. Rock, as his compatriots called him. He was surprised that his superior's passionate reactions to the boy hadn't provoked a more jealous response from him. He considered it a moment before realizing that their own relationship, as long as it had lasted, was filled with ritual and boundaries.

There were certain lines they did and did not cross. Rock, however, either did not recognize those lines or purposefully chose to step across them.

Rock did something that the tall Russian knew few men had ever done: He challenged her. Not behind her back, or using trickery, but openly besting her in every arena over which he'd ever claimed any sort of control. The tall Russian man himself had known Balalaika for over two decades, and even he would never have dared consciously pushed the woman's temper the way the young Japanese man did time and time again.

Truth be told, he couldn't work up the anger to be dismayed about Gretel's apparent return, given the circumstances. One of their own had been shot in the head and survived during the Afghanistan conflict, and he'd undergone a complete shift in personality... He was pretty much a new man. He'd lost old friends, gained new ones, and had had to be reintegrated into the unit like he was a new recruit.

A new recruit wearing an old friend's face, but war had bred that sort of sentimentality out of Desatniki long before it had belonged to Balalaika. That sort of sentimentality had died when the unit had still belonged to the motherland. Boris found it hard to hold someone accountable for the mistakes they'd made when they'd never remember and were too busy being a different, and in some ways, a better person.

In fact, Ruslan had been a much better man after his first death. Boris wondered if Fate were having a laugh at the fact that the girl who'd killed Ruslan in her first "life" was now facing a similar situation.

Yet unlike Ruslan, this girl Gretel didn't have the might of the Soviet army behind her recovery. She had no armed comrades to support her and help her through this trial. She only had a young Japanese man and, perhaps, the support of three others who would probably fold as soon as pressure was applied.

As Balalaika climbed into the car, checking her gun, Boris schooled his face into a passive frown. Much as he might wish to sympathize with the Romanian hiding with the Lagoon Company, his own priorities were perfectly clear: If the blond teenager sitting in the car behind him ordered the girl's death, he'd shoot her himself without hesitation.

Regardless of how much she'd changed recently, it didn't invalidate the miracles she'd performed in the past. Each and every one of the men in Desatniki owed their lives to her, and thus, they were hers to command.

Even now.

He turned the keys in the ignition. Hotel Moscow Intelligence had placed Rock at the Lagoon Company's office, and Balalaika wanted answers. It was his duty to ensure she got them.

oOo

Tsung knew what he needed to do. The driver pulled the car up to the rear of the Lagoon Company office quiety at precisely the same time as three cars pulled up front.

His AK47-SU was a comforting weight at his side, the shoulder strap pulling slightly on the slate-grey suit jacket he wore as he got out of the car. In the front, some psycho bitch was shooting up the office, which only helped aid their attack. Tsung knew that the fourteen men in the front would keep Dutch pinned until he and his bodyguards could shoot the stupid nigger from behind.

He had the Caucasians hitting the front alongside the more foolhardy members of his gang, where the casualties would be the heaviest. The white-faced pricks and the morons would absorb the heaviest casualities, and he and the rest of his men would sneak in the back and rid Roanapur of that bastard Dutch.

That would get them in good with Chang. It would show the Triad leader just what sort of men Tsung and his fellows were. Chang would know that Tsung and his brothers were worthy candidates, that they belonged to that elite body and needed to be integrated.

He clicked off the safety, motioning one of the men up the stairs first.

Maybe they'd even get to take care of that arrogant Japanese prick in the bargain.

oOo

Balalaika flashed her Sergeant a concerned look as they pulled up behind the Lagoon Company offices. The lot wasn't anything special, and more than once the blond Russian had heard Dutch complain about the rates the building manager charged to secure a parking space at the rear. Especially since he'd secured three parking spaces, despite the fact that Benny was the only one who maintained a car.

Dutch knew that both Chang and Balalaika felt the urge to drop by occasionally, but he'd made it rather plain that both criminal heads were given one spot apiece, in the interest of fairness. One spot for Benny's classic car, one spot for her limo, and one spot for Chang's car.

That, _and nothing else_, was the deal. Dutch had made it very clear that Chang parking in her spot should be considered an insult, and had told Chang that if she ever dared park in his spot he should construe it the same. Each spot belonged to only one person, someone almost nobody in Roanapur was stupid enough to fuck with.

Police patrols were paid very handsomely to make certain that any cars which parked in the three spaces which did not belong were removed within twenty minutes. That told the Hotel Moscow leader that the men who'd lurched their cars to a stop in those spots had been there for considerably less time, as no officers were staring blankly at the cars and wondering what they should do.

She drew her weapon and checked the chamber, making sure that a round was secured therein.

"Boris," she began, then grinned, feral, at the dark look on her compatriot's face. Instead of continuing, she said, "I do hope you've been practicing at the range."

Despite the strict level of professionalism he'd maintained between them for nearly two decades, the tall man allowed a snort to escape as he glanced up at the rear view mirror.

"Capitan, we both know I'm the better shot without a scope," the man noted, earning a smile from the teenager.

"Perhaps you'll get to prove it, then," the young girl noted, stepping out of the car.

Both Russians advanced up the back stairs.

oOo

A formerly-blond Romanian girl had followed her brother when he left their apartment. He'd been rather secretive about his reason for leaving, and the girl had decided that she was sick of the people in her life deciding she was 'too young' to hear certain facts.

After all, her brother was a pirate, just like that nice young police officer in her foster village had feared. That didn't make him a bad person. Yet despite that fact, he was the best thing to happen to the girl. He'd been straining to hold back his tears when he'd finally hugged her once more.

The feeling had been burned into her, like she'd never been hugged before.

And so, she'd followed Rock to the Lagoon Company's office. She'd held back for five minutes, worrying that maybe she'd be discovered... but she'd slowly crept up the hall. A noise in the hallway had prompted her to dive into an unused stock room.

A stock room where she was quickly joined several men, notably a young Chinese man with an AK-47-SU. He glanced nervously at the doorway to her big brother's office with a calculating look, and it was then that the Romanian girl knew fear. This man was here to try to hurt her big brother.

All she had to do was stop him: Yet her hands found no weapon when she reached for them. She had no machinegun nor axe at her side to end his life. So the dark-haired girl hesitated for just a moment, fearing, for once, for her own life.

It was enough to further complicate matters.

The nice Russian girl with the unfortunate scars was slowly advancing down the hallway, her tall driver at her side. The young Chinese man was aiming his assault rifle at the woman, a manic grin on his face. And despite the fact she was unarmed, Greta knew she couldn't let him harm the girl who'd flirted with her big brother.

Despite their pretensions, she'd read more in their interactions.

Thuis, Greta took a deep breath... And Gretel ran.

oOo

Balalaika had taken one step off the stairs when she saw a short-haired Chinese man tackled out of a side room, his AK-47-SU clattering to the ground by the short-haired brunette who'd hit him. A young girl that Balalaika recognized instantly. Gretel ran towards the Russian teen, spinning and aiming the gun she'd torn from the chinese man as she ran.

Another rifle flashed from the door and fired blindly. Balalaika only had time to widen her eyes in surprise. Her Sergeant had time for considerably more.

Balalaika could only assume that Boris had known he was a dead man as soon as the rifle appeared, because two shots struck the tackled man in the temple and the third blasted the hand appearing from the room, loosing the rifle from its grasp and forever ridding it of two fingers.

It didn't stop the rifle from spitting five bullets. Those five bullets were enough to end a twenty-year partnership.

Boris _fell_, his face surprised at his own death. His gun clattered to the ground with a disturbing finality.

In that same time... Gretel never managed to fire a shot from her gun, the thuds of two bullets stricking flesh sounding oddly muted as the girl put herself between the gun and the Russian teen. Balalaika slumped, holding the bleeding young girl in her arms. A girl she'd wanted to kill herself, barely seconds ago.

"I couldn't live with myself if I just let them shoot you..." the hateful girl muttered, her eyes fluttering closed. She continued to speak, her voice growing weak. "Big brother would... hate to... lose... you..."

The Russian teen aimed her gun at the doorway, knowing more men were coming... and feeling more conflicted than she had ever felt before, as a mortal enemy clutched her desperately for protection.

oOo

Author's Notes, which are long for obvious reasons:

I used the N-bomb. I'll man up and admit that I'm white.

Here's the thing: I write a lot of crap from the perspective of the person in question, _**not from my own**_. A very good friend of mine is Black (not that bullshit term African-American, since she's a) ancestrally from Cuba and b) is a born Canadian so she is neither African nor American), and believe me, I don't like using the N-bomb like that. But let's face it... Black Lagoon is a mixed cast of a lot of foul-mouthed people, and somebody SHOULD have called Dutch it by now. Given the language displayed in the series, it's actually a rather telling that it's that term that's been left out, beside bitch, fucker, bastard, etc. Criminals aren't the most politically correct people, after all.

Could I have used another term? Probably. But people don't tend to think of enemies in any terms other than the obvious physical differences, generally. Dutch is, first and foremost, that damned black bastard to his enemies. And let's face it... "black bastard" isn't the most offensive term his enemies can think of, so it's not the term they're going to use.

The character who used it in his narrative scene is an offensive person and you're supposed to hate him because he's a horrible person. He is exactly the sort of person who would use that word in exactly that sort of fashion. Just understand that I knew full well that I knew exactly how terrible the word is, and I purposefully chose to use it in his narrative instead of as a part of his dialogue because it probably struck you a lot more forcefully that way.

Ignoring a word doesn't erase it from existence or change the horror attached to it. I'd rather it be kept in use and that people understood **exactly **how fucked up it is.

It's rather ironic at this point that I wrote this story to get _away _from thought-provoking shit. On the bright side, I really fucking doubt I'll use that word again. I mean, I wrote the mini-essay above just to justify it once, which should say how serious I am about it.

No promises that I'll be revisiting my _**psychotic**_update schedule when I first started to write this story. I wish I could. I'll hope I can. But let's face it... 63,000 words in a little over a month? NaNoWriMo is a challenge for a reason, kids. We'll see how things go.

Anyway, this story needs to stop making me learn crap. I actually looked up some information on the Soviet war in Afghanistan just to flesh out those first scene with Boris. Keep in mind that I was writing from the perspective of a Russian Afghan war-vet there, which is why it might be kinda anti-America.

P.S.: All of you who PMed me over my break, I'll be getting back to you shortly.


	23. Rock's Little Sister 6

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 6

oOo

Balalaika stared at the closed eyes of the girl.

Her mind raced to gloss over the incongruities. Her heart, such as it was, told her that what she was seeing was just not possible. Yet despite all of this, both Boris and _Gretel _had taken bullets which were meant to end her life.

Balalaika fought back a bitter sob, feeling Gretel's faint pulse underneath one hand. A pulse she knew her former compatriot would not mirror.

Boris was not merely sleeping or unconscious... He was dead.

These bastards had killed him.

The Russian would deal with the girl later.

For now, she concentrated on the fools who would try to leave their master's room alive. They didn't live long. All but one tried to break free of the room, and all who tried, died, shot before they'd run a step or two.

She heard the last man whimpering in fear as he threw his gun out into the hallway. She strolled up to the pistol, noting the etching in the barrel and the overall exquisite design of the gun. The sobbing man, whether through luck or not, had a very good taste in weapons, even if he'd chosen to profane it with decorative markings.

The Russian teen entered the room and savagely broke his neck, her only thought on the tall man in the hallway who'd died in her service.

_Boris._

She was the leader of Hotel Moscow.

She would _not _cry.

He was a cog in the machine. Easily replaced. Familiar, no doubt, but the Russian wouldn't presume to put her entire operation at risk because of one man.

The Russian woman exited the room. The rest of the bastards attacking the Lagoon Company would know her wrath. The entirety of Hotel Moscow would be brought to bear for this transgression.

"_Big brother would... hate to... lose... you..." _A phantom voice whispered.

The tall Russian paused. The girl who lay dying had helped not just kill, but _torture_ two of her men. She had also taken two bullets meant for the Russian just because the Romanian thought Rock would feel sad at her loss.

No.

Not "the Romanian".

_Gretel _had thrown herself in the path of an assualt rifle to save Balalaika's life, just as Boris had... For no other reason than the thought of saving her life.

Balalaika owed her life to the girl.

Damn.

To her credit, the Russian teen only paused for a moment. She dragged the bleeding girl to the doorway to the Lagoon Company office, savagely kicking it open and shoving a desk braced against the door five feet into the room.

Thankfully, Dutch paused for a fraction of a second, his finger not tightening on the pistol aimed at her forehead.

"I'll need a medkit," Balalaika said, lifting the injured girl gently onto the couch at the center of the room. Her glare dared anyone to say anything about the wetness trailing down her cheeks. She accepted a white metal box with a latch from Rock, his own eyes tearing up as he stared at his adoptive sister. Decades of ruthlessly pushing aside her emotions to get a job done allowed her to ignore the young man's obvious distress. "We'll discuss this later, Rock. Close that door. Now."

Rock hurried to the door, once more pressing the desk into place.

"That's not enough!" Balalaika informed him sternly as Dutch fired several rounds out of the window. "If I broke through that barricade, so can they! Grab that couch, stuff it against the door, and sit on it if you're not going to fight, Rock!"

The boy nodded as Balalaika began to do her best to save her former enemy's life. It wasn't the first time her fingers had been covered with the blood of someone to whom she owed her life, though, as with every time it happened, she prayed it would be her last.

oOo

Revy could have been having a better time.

She could have been snuggling up to Ro-... someone cute, drinking a nice tall glass of rum and be not worried about the concept of gunfire intersecting with her asshole. She could have been sleeping off her impending hangover in her nice, clean bed. She could have even possibly still remained at the bar, drinking the newly-young Benny under the table.

Of course, it was all that pigtailed prick's fault. He had to go and provoke her. So of course she'd had to chase him. Then he'd had the audacity to crash there HER office window.

Things had gotten annoying about then.

The two-dozen men who pulled up and joined her in pouring fire into the Lagoon Company offices didn't help. Clearly they hadn't been after Ranma as well, which just meant they were more work for her to clean up.

She soon used the lack of attention on her to break a window across the street, taking cover against the sturdy bookshelves under the display window in Chaosin's Paperback's.

"Hey, you pigtailed bastard!" Revy called out during a lull in the gunshots. She grinned at the dawning comprehension on the enemies staring at her position. "We've got a truce until tomorrow morning!"

"Deal, tomboy!" Ranma agreed.

Revy let it go, instead choosing to focus her anger on the men on street level. Four men died as Revy pointed the guns in their general direction, opting to use a flurry of bullets instead of accurate aim to kill them. Three men on the opposite side of the battlefield fell as a bright blue flash of light darted from the second story window, blasting apart the car they were taking cover behind and throwing them violently across the street.

Revy noticed that three more men were picked off as they attempted to aim at her, thanks to Dutch's rather impressive revolver. He might have been using an old-as-fuck man gun, but he made the damned thing seem like a habit instead of being a poseur.

She fired a flury of shots at two men who broke cover as they tried to run towards the stairwell leading up to her office, and grinned at the way they spun and died.

By her count, there were only three men left.

Her kill count was ruined as Ryouga's unconscious body was hurled towards the remaining trio, knocking one out outright and shielding Ranma from their view as he hurled himself from the window. Revy admitted to herself that _maybe_ he was impressive with that kung fu of his as she watched him disassemble the remaining two men.

Both combatants shared a grin, before turning their attention inside.

oOo

Rock's concern for his little sister wasn't his sole focus.

At times, he damned his attention to detail. It was that same attention to detail which had lead him to being caught up with the Lagoon Company in the first place. That attention to detail also clued him in to the Church of Violence's gun and drug trading, which left him in a very precarious position.

No, his concern at the moment was the frantically working blond teen who was performing first aid on the fragile Romanian girl with two bullet holes in her right shoulder. The silent tears which ran down her eyes, which told more than she dared to give, told a whole different story.

When Ranma and Revy declared the all clear, Rock dared to unblock the doorway and look out into the hallway. The sight that greeted him dropped him to his knees. Boris lay in an expanding pool of his own blood, his chest neither rising nor falling.

The shock the Japanese boy was feeling had time to thoroughly explore the "what-ifs" of his own death versus Boris's death when a hand gentle moved him aside. Rock looked up to see Dutch gazing out into the blood-soaked corridor.

"Well, that's a complication," the American noted, scratching his head. He glanced down the short hallway which lead to the main room of the office, indicating Balalaika's first aid with a nod of his head. "You got any idea about why she's suddenly Gretel's best friend?"

For a moment, Rock was speechless. Nothing came to mind... Until he remembered her teasing them both. The thought was ludicrous, but still... Why else would his adopted little sister hurl herself in front of bullets aimed at the woman most likely to kill her?

He approached the blond slowly as she finished securing the last of the bandages she was working with. She knelt back and sighed with a shuddering sob, observing the girl with a mixed look of fondness and hatred.

Rock moved closer.

"Balalaika... What happened?" Rock asked timidly, kneeling near the young Russian while placing a hand on her shoulder. He thought when he placed his hand on her shoulder, he was prepared for anything.

He was prepared for her hatred. She could easily hate him... Gretel had killed two of her men. Not only killed them, but done so in a horribly graphic fashion. He was prepared to see nothing but hate in the Russian teen's eyes.

He was prepared for denial. Boris had been a constant in her life from the time she had joined the Russian-Afghan conflict. He had been the one to command her when she arrived and see her flourish into the indomitable military mind she was this day. It was only natural for her to reject the thought of him laying dead in the corridor.

He was not prepared for what she did. By everything he knew, Balalaika was a strong woman. Stronger than anyone he knew. She simply was not capable of breaking down in a sobbing heap like she was.

Rock pulled her into a tight hug, trying his best not to feel awkward about the whole thing.

By the expressions his coworkers held as they stared at the Russian desperately clutching him, he knew that awkward was something he was going to be very familiar with very soon.

oOo

"Ain't that cute," Revy snorted, crossing her arms at the doorway as she watched her 'big sis' clutch Rock like a life preserver.

"Wait a sec... Aren't you- I mean, aren't you both-" Ranma was cut off as Revy raised a gun towards the pigtailed boy.

"Ranma. Ranmmaaa...." Revy drew out, sliding up to him with a coy smile. Ranma glared at the girl with well-placed suspicion. "Don't you know not to ask questions to women skirting the edge of rage like that? You just make yourself a target."

The pigtailed martial artist had time to dart across the room and grab Ryouga, ducking under a flurry of shots from Revy's new pistols.

"Crazy bitch, I was helping you!" Ranma swore, grabbing a chimney across the way and ducking behind it as a series of shots destroyed the top half.

"What's that? I surrender, Revy-sama?" Revy called, grinning. "I still haven't reloaded yet, pansy-ass! You've gotta avoid my shots until then!"

"Crazy tomboy!" Ranma growled, leaping away.

Revy glanced after the retreating boy, her smile fading after a moment as Balalaika's sobs re-entered her perception.

Big sis wasn't supposed to cry. That wasn't why Revy idolized her.

Yet even the gunslinging thug couldn't deny that the Russian teen had good cause.

She holstered her gun and nodded to Rock, who nodded in turn.

She wasn't good at all this touchy-feely shit, but he knew she was there for him if he needed her. Just like always.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Another two chapters, at most, and then we go back to comedy with Ranma, Ryouga, and Eda making a mess of some wacky criminals.

Apologies for the mood whiplash... but I needed to tackle the Gretel/Balalaika angle sooner or later. I opted for sooner, since I've got another slightly-more-serious-than-normal arc planned soon. Though it won't touch on the angst and GrimDark of this arc.

Nothin' will, to be honest. In fact, the lightly comedic tone of the gunfight was a bit of a penance for me. That serious stuff will happen next chapter or two, and then it'll stay tucked away for fifteen thousand words or so. Promise.

No promises about when I'll get to the next chapter. I've never played Jade Empire, and I _just_ downloaded it off of Xbox Live.


	24. Rock's Little Sister 7

Forcibly United

oOo

Rock's Little Sister

Chapter 7

oOo

The young girl breathed lightly where she lay on the couch, and Balalaika tried to resolve the girl she'd recently met with the monster who'd helped to kill over a dozen gangsters in Roanapur. Several of her men were now securing the area immediately surrounding the Lagoon Company office, and making arrangements for Boris.

Some lesser gangsters, such as the Sicilians and the Columbians, would have been talking to Sawyer about those arrangements. Unlike them, she and Chang saw eye to eye on the fact that their own men deserved better. Boris had no family to notify, but he would have a funeral.

Gretel whimpered in her unconsciousness, and Balalaika's eyes went to the young girl's hair. Obviously the haircut had been a side effect of treating the gunshot. The tall Russian teenager had taken the time to check the girl after a doctor had examined and changed the bandages, and she'd noted the large scar which ran slightly to one side starting at the back of her scalp. She'd seen gunshot wounds to the head before and knew just how badly they could alter a person's mind and memories.

She didn't have to turn to know that it was Rock at the doorway. The approaching footsteps had been light and hesitant. Her men would have stepped quicker and more surely, and nobody else would have approached her at the moment.

"Tell me something, Rock... Why would you possibly risk my wrath for this girl?" Balalaika asked. She reached out and brushed an errant black hair from the girl's face. "She caused you and your company no end of grief. You knew precisely what I felt about her and her psychotic brother. So... Why?"

"We've gone over this once before, Balalaika," the young man's voice finally admitted, sounding heavy. He sighed. "I'm... I'm trying to do good, sometimes. Just like with Garcia and just like with Yukio. When I found her again, she had no memories except for me. She didn't know who she was and why I was the only thing she remembered.

"I..." His voice faltered and he fell silent for a moment before continuing. "I just couldn't leave her. I thought maybe she had a chance to start anew. I thought maybe she deserved a chance at a better life."

"She didn't know," Balalaika repeated, mulling it over. Amnesia wasn't exactly a rare side-effect of surviving a gunshot wound to the head.

"Not at all. It's the only reason I dared to bring her back here," the Japanese man admitted.

"Rock..." The tall Russian finally said, turning and giving him a stern look. He met the look with resignation. His eyes widened at the slight smile the woman wore. "Tell her when she wakes up that she and I still need to have words about her teasing me. I won't hold this one to blame for the actions of a dead girl... So long as that girl remains dead. Do I make myself clear?"

Balalaika was in no mood to laugh at the astonished look on the boy's face, though she felt the urge.

"Balalaika..." Rock began, only to be cut off as she taller girl brushed past him. She paused in the hallway.

"Look after her, Rock. It wouldn't do for my new shopping partner to die on me, would it?" Balalaika asked, leaving the room.

oOo

Rock glanced down at the young girl, his mind racing.

Balalaika had just declared that the girl was safe from her retribution. He didn't have to spend every waking moment worrying about whether or not Balalaika would recognize the girl. She was safe from that, now.

Instead, he had to worry about the girl remembering her past.

Something she might have already begun, the Japanese man thought to himself as he remembered the bloody switchblade hidden in a grocery bag.

He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

oOo

It had been two days.

Two full days since Boris had died. Balalaika's eyes rebelliously teared up against her best efforts as she sat quietly in her chair, the pastor reading a pre-prepared eulogy to her dead comrade. She wondered at the emotion welling up inside her... She hadn't cried over any of her men before. Not once in the twenty years she'd commanded Desantniki. She knew she could blame a part of it on the hormones coursing through her body, but there was more to it than that.

She had a suspicion that she would have cried even without the damnable mushrooms playing havoc with her emotions.

Despite her attempts to keep things simple, keep things... _clinical,_ Boris had become a fixture in her life. She hadn't realized it until the days after his death, but he was in many ways more than just a simple underling. He'd been the one who finished most of her thoughts, the one man whom she could speak with as something close to an equal.

It wasn't until he was gone that she realized how much he'd insulated her from the hero worship with which her men viewed her. To the men serving underneath her, she could do no wrong. To them, every word was law. She could have made the most tactically unsound order imaginable and the men below her would carry it out without hesitation.

Boris, her Sergeant, had always been there to temper her first impressions. He'd been the one man whom she could rely on to point out the flaws in her plans. The one man she could depend on to, if not challenge her, at least suggest that there was something she could fix.

He'd been the one man in the entire damned unit to recognize that she was human. The fact she had nobody to recognize those faults now was a blow against her entire force which could cripple it with just one false move.

She could not afford one false move.

Not in a city like Roanapur.

Balalaika knew her own nature. She knew that there were times when her blood was up and someone needed to die and damn the consequences, that person_ would _die. She knew that without someone there to be her foil, without someone to counterbalance her own bloodthirsty instincts, it would not take much to lead her to her own downfall.

Her instincts made her a good commander, but she also knew it was Boris' moderating influence which had made her truly great. Without his calm hand to direct her commands through the rapids, Desantniki would have shattered on the rocks which tested them long ago. Without his calm hands now, her men faced the most perilous time they'd ever encountered since the war.

So, fighting her grief as the funeral ended, the Russian teenager made the most important phone call she would make in a long time.

Balalaika knew that nobody was perfect.

Yet she hoped that one person's imperfections would compliment her own.

oOo

It had been several days since Boris' funeral. Dutch thought that, once that tragic ceremony was finished with, business would get back to normal.

His current meeting was proving that things would be anything but normal.

"You're resigning?" Dutch demanded, his eyes growing wide. The black man was not an easy man to surprise, yet his Japanese underling had just done exactly that. To be fair to the young man in question, he was looking fairly green about the decision himself. "Rock, can you explain what the fuck is going on here?"

"Balalaika needs someone who can moderate her. Someone who can stand up to her when she's being stupid," Rock finally said, quirking his eyebrow and flashing a wan grin at the incredulous look on his former employer's face. "She didn't quite phrase it that way. I get the impression that she's not used to her situation. I can't just let her deal with it without helping."

"And what situation is that, exactly?" Dutch grunted, cracking open a can of Heireken and quirking an eyebrow at the young man.

"Boris wasn't just an underling. He helped her plan most of her operations. As you've seen with me and Revy... Having someone to point out your flaws can help," Rock said with a shrug, taking a sip of his own drink. He sighed heavily. "Dutch, if anybody else could do this job..."

"...You'd pass it on to them," the Captain of the Black Lagoon finished sourly. "It's not like anyone in the whole damned city would point out her flaws except Chang..."

"...and for obvious reasons, she doesn't think Chang has her best interests at heart," Rock noted with a shrug. He spread his hands helplessly. "It's either I take this job and leave you, or I stand back and watch Hotel Moscow implode. And if they go, so does this city. All it'd take is Balalaika's death for Roanapur to have a couple hundred men nearly as good as Revy rampaging through it. It's not exactly a happy thought."

"Obviously we can't allow that to happen," Dutch noted sourly. He sighed heavily, gesturing vaguely to a bottle at the top of his bookshelf. "Grab that thing and two glasses, Rock."

"Dutch, that's your-" Rock began, only to be interrupted.

"Yeah, I know how damned expensive that shit is. Bring it down here, and bring two glasses with it, Rock," Dutch said with a grin, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose. Once Rock settled the glasses onto his desk, Dutch poured a generous measure into each and deliberately threw the cork of the bottle out the window. "I always knew this day would come, Rock. You're way too damned smart for your own good, you know that?"

"It's been said," Rock admitted, taking the cup and slugging back the contents. The American grinned at the way the Japanese man coughed.

"Bourbon'll do it to you every time, I swear," Dutch grunted, pouring the young man another drink. Rock flashed his former employer a dirty look, which the sunglasses-clad man returned with a grin. "Hey, I can't send you off without giving you a proper goodbye. Drink up, man!"

"Damn!" The Japanese man coughed after draining his second glass, glaring at Dutch through watering eyes. "Are you trying to kill me or something?"

"I'll leave that to Revy, since I assume you haven't told her yet," Dutch said with a grin, though his voice was oddly serious.

"Yeah... Revy," Rock repeated, purposefully pushing his glass in Dutch's direction. The older man refilled it with a tip of his wrist. "I'm not sure what I'm going to tell her. What I can tell her, really..."

"Rock... Don't worry about it too much," Dutch said with a shrug. He took a casual sip of his own drink as he relaxed into his chair with a sigh. "If you just talk to Revy about it, I'm sure she'll be fine. It's not like you're moving halfway across the world or something. Just tell her you've decided to work for Balalaika and I'm sure things will work out fine."

"...You're right, Dutch," Rock declared, his third glass of bourbon finished. "I'm just going to go and tell Revy what I'm doing! She's got to respect that, right!?"

"Go for it," the black American encouraged, watching as the Japanese man left the office.

He relaxed into his chair, tipping the last ounce or two of bourbon into his own glass before lighting up a smoke.

And then he waited.

He heard the dull murmur of Rock talking in the next room.

"You're fucking QUITTING to work for Big Sis!?"

Revy's return shriek was quite a bit more distinguishable.

Ignoring the sounds of chaos in the next room, Dutch wondered if Rock would _ever _learn not to listen to his suggestions.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I tawt I taw a status quo shattering! I did, I did! I did taw a status quo got shattering! It seemed to me to be a natural development. Like it or hate it, I've decided to distinguish myself from the Black Lagoon canon by not repeating future arcs. Some events may come into play, but their resolution will no doubt be altered by the rippling effect the rapidly changing canon has on them.

I don't credit Balalaika with being an absolutely vengeance-filled woman for any slight done to her men. If so, Dutch and the Black Lagoon crew would have been killed for daring to try to help Gretel escape in the first place. That, combined with Gretel's rather selfless defense of Balalaika, gives the little Romanian a pass as far as I can determine. We'll see how long this lasts as the dividing line between Greta and Gretel crumbles.

Well... The next chapter is going to be the beginning of the Eda arc. I've slightly chanced the focus (it's not going to be in San Francisco any longer), but the main intent is going to be the same: A more light-hearted arc which mainly focuses on Ranma, Ryouga, and Eda working together to stomp some criminals. However, I intend to at least try to work on other stories, so no promises about the update schedule.


	25. A Weekend WIth Eda 1

Forcibly United

oOo

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 1

oOo

Two boys were sitting in the front of a rather large fishing boat, currently being piloted by a Eda. The nun had, for once, eschewed her habit for gear more appropriate for a tropical climate. That is not to say that the clothing she typically wore hadn't been made to withstand the heat of the southern climate which was prevalent in the south, but a day on a fine boat, she'd declared, required something more fitting for the occasion.

Hence why the blond teenager was currently wearing a bikini, some sort of translucent cloth wrap tied loosely at the waist, and nothing else aside from the sandals on her feet and the smile on her face. Ranma had pointedly informed her that both boys were rather taken when she'd showed up at the dock, and Ryouga thought he'd detected a hint of disappointment there.

"Ranma, explain to me why we took this job again?" Ryouga wondered, doing his best to keep his eyes off the shapely girl behind them both. He kept reminding himself to think of Akari. Sweet Akari, with her soft brown hair. She would never wear anything so... So... His train of thought was interrupted by Ranma's answering snort.

"Eda said she's tracked down some cache of Nazi gold hidden by some idiots which was never recovered. She needs a couple people who can help her move the stuff who she can trust not to shoot her in the back," Ranma replied with a shrug, leaning back against the railing. "She's giving us a ten percent cut just because we're not complete jerks who'll take everything the moment her back is turned."

"How much gold is the gold worth that she's worried about hiring people?" Ryouga replied, quirking an eyebrow.

"The documents she found said there was a little over five hundred kilograms. Which means that if we get our hands on the full lot, we'd get fifty kilograms of gold to ourselves," Ranma replied with a broad grin.

"Wait, gold's really expensive. How much would that mean?" Ryouga asked, his eyes widening.

"Ryouga... One kilogram of pure gold is worth about thirty-seven thousand bucks American. Do the math," Ranma replied, getting up and fishing a beer out of the cooler. He tossed one to the stunned boy, who caught it absentmindedly.

"Wait, you're saying that..." Ryouga began, his jaw slack.

"Yep. If things go smoothly for us, we've got a paycheck of nearly two _million _waiting for us at the end of it. Combined with what we've earned already and, well... How does owning your own dojo once we get these bracers off sound?" Ranma asked lightly, punctuating his sentence with the pop of his Heireken opening.

Ryouga could only stare in response.

oOo

Eda's spirits were high: Her cooler was full of beer and chilled scotch, and strangely enough, she had two people working with her she was willing to trust. Between those facts and the lack of anything between her flesh and the sweet sun, the American teenager was feeling pretty good about things.

The boys were very good at their jobs, and more importantly, they'd managed to cling to their innocence. It was endearing that the little suckers still believed in things like honour and loyalty, which was a large part of the reason that Eda had offered the job to them. Initially, she hadn't believed that they were as honourable as they claimed... but who could blame her for believing otherwise?

The way they acted... They were practically an honest-to-God pair of medieval Samurai, at least as far as she understood matters. Hell, the pigtailed kid was willing to spend his free time honing his ability to dodge Revy's gunfire because technically, they still had a duel going on. Revy had admitted she'd expected the kid to hire some outside assistance to off her, but the Chinese-American woman had confided to Eda that no such hit had been attempted.

The kid actually was willing to dodge gunfire from one of the deadliest women in Roanapur rather than circumvent the rules of their fight _or _admitting defeat.

Eda could admit that that had enhanced his mystique, all told. Nobody in Roanapur could lay claim to actually desiring the wrath of the purple-haired woman on Dutch's payroll, and anyone who managed it would have said they were sorry in a _heartbeat_ if that was all that it'd take to get Two Hands off their back.

If someone crossed one of the big names in Roanapur once and lived, they were considered lucky. If they did it twice and survived, they were considered very good. Crossing someone like the weapon-mistress of the Lagoon Company _three _times proved that that person was in the big times, that they were among the best mercenaries on offer in one of the deadliest cities in the world. Nobody went out of their way to cross someone like that without good cause.

Supposedly, it was suicide. She grinned at the boy drinking his beer at the front of the old fishing boat she'd purchased. He certainly didn't look dead or suicidally depressed to her.

Between the absurdly skilled young men lounging at the front of her boat, their deliciously tight torsos basking in theb sun, and the promise of gold, the American teenager decided that she was allowed a measure of calm.

Hell, between hanging out with Dumb and Dumber and the lack of cameras, she didn't even have to worry about her sunglasses. The novelty of seeing the world without a random colour tint was something she was willing to fully embrace.

Beyond that... This was a chance for her to really change the equation in Roanapur.

Her position was... fragile at best. She didn't get much in the way funding from her superiors, due in large part to her autonomy from them. She was one of the rare, few agents who were entrusted to infiltrate a hostile environment and gather intelligence while getting no support in turn.

Any support would have blown her cover. So she was essentially living in this asshole of the world for nothing besides patriotic duty and the vague promise of a star on the wall at Langley if she died in the line of duty. Beyond that, she got no orders from her handlers or was even gifted with a demand for a more detailed report.

As far as the blond was concerned, her reports could have been filed down a black hole. She never saw any results, never saw any of the more terrible elements of Roanapur's criminals curtailed. The slavers, the rapists, the sex tourists... None of them ever got punished for their crimes.

The money she was sailing towards would change all of that.

She would be able to hire men to track everyone one of the Roanpur criminal underground who warranted punishment. She'd be able to enact that punishment herself. She'd be able to curtail the drug trade without worrying about supplying her suppliers with the cash which she would eventually use to end them.

With nearly twenty million dollars worth of solid gold... She could begin to force order on the lawless city of Roanapur. She could hire the right men and women to shore up her own insubstantial presence, men and women who would begin to enforce an air of common civility and decency on the masses. With that gold, assholes like the current police chief could be ousted from their jobs and true, lawful reform could begin to take hold of the city to which the woman had pledged her life.

She could reform the entire city's stance on crime.

Nothing would make it a lawful city. Nothing would render it acceptable to the average American citizen. The formerly older woman reflected upon the fact as she guided her boat towards the dock on the small island which housed her prize.

Then again, it clearly was not her responsibility to reform the entire city in the first place. Anything that would help transform the city would help her goals. As long as rapists and murderers had a more difficult time in the city, she was achieving her goals.

The blond grimly reflected that her boss had been right when he'd assigned her to her position.

Roanpur really was the Wild West all over again.

oOo

Unbeknownst to the trio on the old fishing boat, another much larger and much sleeker vessel was approaching the same small island with precisely the same destination in mind. The Germanic captain left the bridge, moving down two levels and past two platoons worth of men, until he was standing in front of the doorway to the 'special asset'.

The woman, who appeared to be in her late teens to her early twenties, pushed up her glasses as she glanced up at the blond man as he entered her cabin. He wasn't certain, but he thought perhaps that the glasses were an affection, that she didn't actually need them.

Not that he'd ever dare suggest it.

"We're approaching the target," the Captain informed her, the woman's blue eyes rising to meet his own. He suppressed the snort he felt upon seeing her glossy blue-black hair pushed aside by nimble fingertips as the woman tucked it behind one ear. "We do not expect any trouble, but just in case... You will be ready, yes?"

"Of course, Captain," the woman said, continuing to polish the ancient rifle she had disassembled on the workbench in her cabin. "My bullet will be ready to pierce any and all enemies which may face us, but I do not expect your men to have need of my own unique talents. The great enemy, The Devouring One... He is no longer a problem. Our only foes are mortal. You know just how well I can deal with mortal trouble,"

The woman finished her declaration with a grin. The Captain tried to ignore the glint of the light off her fangs.

"There doesn't exist a mortal alive who can stand up to the strength of my weapon," the dark-haired girl assured him, polishing the barrel of her gun. "Rest assured, Captain, that your mission will go off without a hitch, regardless of any interference. Short of an army, we will be fine."

The Captain had only had need of her services once. The memory of that one blue-sheathed bullet shredding dozens of men would forever haunt his dreams. He nodded, backing out.

"I just wished for you to be aware. We do not call on the services of one of _your _kind lightly," the man informed her with a wary look.

She flashed him a feral smile in response. It showed off each and every one of her pointed teeth.

He retreated back to the cabin.

Damned _vampire_.

oOo

Author's Notes:

So... Nazi villains. One arc of the Black Lagoon story touched on them, which justified their use here... and really, who doesn't think Vampires when they think Nazi villains? I wonder how this new threat will fare without a certain someone in her way to eat her soul and enslave her? Will Ranma and Ryouga get into some adventure with Eda and her information leading the way?

There really is do doubt that the plans of both groups have will go awry. I'm looking forward to writing this arc, since it's entirely comprised of action sequences and pulpy adventure stuff. Also, if you haven't recognized the new villain, I'm disappointed in you. Or you've not watched Hellsing. Either or, I guess.

So... I did mention something about not updating at my psychotic update schedule one _week _and four _chapters _ago, didn't I? I suppose that theory is shafted about as much as a pretty new boy at a maximum security pris- No, I won't sink that low.

Not enough to finish that sentence. Though I guess I've sunk pretty low overall, in some respects. :P


	26. A Weekend With Eda 2

Forcibly United

oOo

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 2

oOo

Two piles of luggage with feet trailed along behind Eda as the the latter used a steel machete to clear away a small amount of undergrowth along a loose game path. The blond paused to wipe the sweat off her face, and noting the stinging insects, was glad she had changed from the bikini into something a little more suitable for traipsing through a dense jungle.

"Damn, how much crap did you pack in these freaking bags?" Ranma complained from the rearmost pile, shifting forward as Ryouga continued to walk. "This is the jungle. Ryouga has a girlfriend and I have more fiancees than Santa has reindeer. You don't need a bunch of fancy clothes so that you can dress up to impress anyone here."

"Aw, is the big bad martial artist too weak to carry a few teensie little bags?" Eda crooned, hacking down a particularly thick vine with a grin.

"I think it has more to do with the awkwardness," Ryouga noted blankly, looking over a bag to eye the blond teenager. "They've got handles that are short. I'm holding a couple of these bags by my fingertips. It's a pain."

"Sorry boys, but we do need all of these. Some of them are tents and cooking supplies. Others have food. A couple of them have excavation equipment and more weapons than my pistol," the girl noted, shrugging before hacking apart a bush. "There's no avoiding it."

"Bullshit," Ranma deadpanned. "Ryouga can break rocks with his pinkie and we can both take down helicopters with nothing more than our chi. Our hands can remove dirt quicker than a freaking back-hoe. Half of this stuff is probably useless!"

"Can those kung fu senses of yours find a bunker hidden thirty feet underneath the ground, or figure out precisely where we are on the island? Do you happen to have some edible food and drinkable water stuffed up your sleeves?" Eda asked lightly, chuckling at the silence. "I thought not. Boys, I planned ahead and took your abilities into account. That aside, I am not going _anywhere_ without some explosives on hand, just in case. What would a defenseless girl like me do if I got seperated from you?"

"To hear Rock tell it, you'd probably shoot the danger in the head and quip a sarcastic one-liner," the pigtailed boy informed her.

"I keep telling Revy he's a a charmer and she should really make her move on him soon, but she's not really listening," the blond noted smugly.

After another twenty minutes, with the sun closing in on the horizon, the trio came across a clearing and the American girl called a halt. Ranma agreed to set up the tents while Ryouga broke apart some thick logs for a fire, while Eda rooted through the bags for her GPS and the map she'd need to figure out the precise location of the underground bunker.

oOo

Rip Van Winkle looked up from her book as the hatch to her doorway opened inward, the Captain of the ship and a man who ranked equally with her stepping side the small cabin appointed to her.

With a growl she set aside her leather-bound copy of The Collected Works of Carl Maria von Weber to glare at the man through her glasses, brushing an errant lock of her blue-black hair out of the way as she sat up from her small, if reasonably comfortable bunk.

"We have reached the island," the man informed her, not bothering to meet her eyes. "We have observed a small, abandoned fishing boat floating in a lagoon five hundred meters from our position and a small, four-person craft on the sand of a beach in the same lagoon. Approximately four kilometers into the island from the position of the boat, we have observed what appears to be smoke from a small campfire."

"And yet, with two platoons of soldiers on this ship, you felt the need to inform me," Rip noted, idly tracing a hand along the newly oiled and cleaned rifle which was her constant companion. She stood abruptly, glaring at the surprised men. "Surely you do not expect me to go onto this godforsaken island with your men for, at most, five people."

"I had thought to use you to scout out our foes," the Captain's reply was clipped, but firm.

Van Winkle flashed across the distance between them, her nose almost touching his. The uniformed German stumbled back with a curse.

"Let me make something clear to you, Captain Abendroth. Despite what you may think of my kind in general and me in particular, I am not an errand girl who runs at your beck and call. I'm not here to deal with a group of vagabond pirates your men can sweep aside with ridiculous ease," the dark-haired vampire informed him, taking a step forward, which caused the man to take a step back. "I am equal to your rank because my unique position requires that men like you understand that I am not to be used without need."

"Our employer-" the man began.

"-Knew all of this when he placed me with you. You have dozens of soldiers, Captain. Pretend like they are soldiers and have them scout this small group of people who share the island with us. Speak to me if, and only if, they become a problem," Rip told him gravely.

Her repeated invasions of his personal space had caused the man to stumble out of her room. She took advantage of that to sieze the hatch and slam it shut in his face, spinning the wheel tightly for emphasis.

After all, this was the part where Kaspar finally met Zamiel and had her fate determined. That was a far more gripping event than scouting out a tiny group of mortals who couldn't possibly hope to challenge her.

oOo

Ranma and Ryouga heard the men long before they saw them. Eda was fiddling with the map under the light of a small, electric lantern and making notes with a pencil as she studied the paper, but even she looked up after a moment as the dual sounds of cursing and destroyed underbrush floated into their camp.

"Hey, blondie... Are you expecting company?" Ranma wondered, stirring the chili in the pot hanging above the campfire. The woman had insisted that it be allowed to cook for a couple hours after combining the ingredients into the pot, telling them that a two-hour delay was the bare minimum for 'proper' chili.

"No, I think this is exactly the sort of situation I hired you and Moody over there to take care of," Eda informed the blue-eyed teenager, favouring Ryouga with a grin as the bandanna'd youth flashed her a dirty look. "Well... Aside from the whole lifting, carrying, and digging thing. So why don't you two go find out who's coming after us? Go inflict your brand of violence on whoever is coming up on us and impress on them that they can have the island when we're done with it."

"You're the boss," Ranma noted, giving the chili a stir as he stood. "Hey, make sure that this stuff don't burn. If it's as good as you say, I want to give it a shot without you messing up the cooking."

"Ranma, my mother was Texan," the blond deadpanned, setting aside her pencil to flash the boy a shocked look. "Plus, I'm pretty sure no girl could possibly mess up something like chili even if they tried to."

"I'm pretty sure that Akane could mess this up real eas-ARGH!" The last cry of pain came as Ryouga, braced on a branch at the edge of the clearing, gave a mighty yank of his arm as he leaped, dragging the pigtailed boy with him.

oOo

Heinrich was fairly new to the unit, assigned as a sniper. He followed his more experienced brethren into the dense jungle, hearing the mutterings of the point-man as he hacked a path through the dense undergrowth. The whole damned trip was downright spooky, from the order to stay away from the third sub-deck for the duration of the trip to the mission to investigate the fire on the island's interior.

A trip which was beginning just as dusk claimed the island. A trip which continued well after darkness resembled absolute black below the dense forest canopy, requiring that the nine men he was walking with employ flashlights just to see a few feet in front of them.

Three hours of hacking through the dense underbrush left them near their goal. As far as the young soldier could determine, they were within a few hundred meters of their target.

It was then that the lead man disappeared, a flash of yellow silk and a pigtail darting on their path to grasp the man. He was thrown roughly into a tree, his rifle clattering to the ground as his eyes rolled up into his head. He was followed a second later by the next man, a similar shadow with a flash of a bare chest darting in and punching the man so hard he tumbled into the darkness.

"Fire! Fire!"

Heinrich didn't know if it was their Sergeant who called for the attack or if it was one of the more able-minded soldiers under him, but as one the remaining men followed the order and snapped their rifles to their shoulders.

Bullets whizzed into the darkness after their attackers, cutting down branches and sending a hailstorm of leaves down on the two dead or unconscious men. Heinrich was reloading when a disturbing thought struck him.

They hadn't left.

They were merely waiting.

In the silence which followed the hailstorm of bullets, two figures dashed out from the darkness to claim two more men. One of the men had time to scream as he was taken into the shadows of the night-time jungle, only for that cry of fear to be cut horribly, terribly short.

"What the fuck are we fighting!?" One man screamed, his eyes wide with panic as he turned to the sergeant, sixth in the line behind them.

"Calm down! Keep your rifles trained where they disappeared and keep your fingers ready to fire! When they try to take us this time, we'll kill them!" The sergeant ordered, his eyes narrowing down the sights of his weapon.

The men immediately to his left disappeared right alongside him as they were both dragged into the darkness, the pair of shadows striking from the same side of the jungle twice in a row and attacking the men from the rear.

Panic reigned. The three men who remained possessed automatic weapons which were a distinct contrast to the low ammo capacity rifle Heinrich currently bore. They fell to firing blindly into the jungle, while the young sniper snapped his head back and forth as he sought some sort of sign of the two demons hunting them.

One man was dragged off by both shadows as he reloaded, the two men flanking him barely having time to blink, let alone shoot, as the poor bastard was carried high into the branches above them.

A rock, propelled at impossible speeds smashed Heinrich's rifle out of his hands and bent the barrel as two shadows flashed into the remaining trio, putting down his remaining two comrades with a flurry of blows.

They appeared to be young asian men. One wore a traditional tang shirt, unbuttoned over a bathing suit which ended mid-thigh, his long, glossy hair pulled into a tight pigtail. His blues showed only amusement as he took in Heinrich's panic. The other wore knee-length shorts with a bright pattern at odds with the fangs glistening in his mouth.

Demons!

Heinrich fled, certain that the two would tear him apart as soon as they caught him. Their demonic laughter chased him away from his unmoving comrades. He continued to run until he tripped and fell into the water, the men guarding the beach staring at him blankly as he gibbered in terror.

oOo

"There is _no_ way that he's going to be back!" Ranma crowed, laughing as he watched the terrified man run away, blindly stumbling back along the cut path he and his buddies had carved.

"He could have reinforcements," Ryouga noted, his eyes narrowing as he took in the uniform every unconscious man they could see wore. "Let's go tell Eda. We're probably going to have to pack up camp and move for the night. You and I can probably survive if these losers ambush us while we sleep, but I don't want to risk her."

"You're right," Ranma noted with a sour frown. "Man, we've already unpacked! Now we've gotta pack again!? This sucks!"

"At least there's nothing else that can attack us tonight, right?" Ryouga countered with a rare grin. "I bet that kid's commander is going to take hours just to convince that something strange actually happened! By the time any reinforcements can track us down, we'll be digging up the gold!"

oOo

"Demons?" Captain Abendroth wondered, pondering the sobbing Heinrich as the broken man stood in front of him.

On the one hand, his story was pure lunacy. On the other hand, he now had a viable reason to send his 'special asset' out into the night instead of allowing her to simply leech off of the ship doctor's blood supply and read her book.

Dismissing the terrified soldier, the man strode out of his office, his destination being a certain restricted level on his ship. The vampire might actually prove her worth yet.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I'm glad everyone recognized Rip Van Winkle from the first chapter alone. This is not going to be a Hellsing crossover aside from her, and she's pretty much just going to be a _reinterpretation _of the character as if she existed in this universe, without Millenium, Hellsing, or Alucard. I just chose her because of a random conversation with Kaiya Eri Ishikawa where she came up randomly, and I thought she'd be a cool villain for the arc.

I prefer to 'import' a character from another story rather than come up with someone new for a relatively minor villain, honestly. For those unfamiliar with the character, she's functionally _no different _from an original character to them. For those who are familiar with the character, she's a fun little cameo. I'm writing fanfiction here, so I prefer to come up with awesome, new villains for my original work.

You'll notice that Ranma's behavior isn't really getting a rise out of Eda. To be blunt, Revy gives a lot better insults and Eda actually likes her. Ranma just can't compare.

Battle-wise, I'm going to be scripting Rip Van Winkle's bullets as being every bit as dangerous as they appeared to be. However, keep in mind Ranma and Ryouga have been spending the last little while learning how to dodge bullets and are, themselves, quite inhuman.

Carl Maria von Weber


	27. A Weekend WIth Eda 3

Forcibly United

oOo

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 3

oOo

"We're not eating before we pack up why?" Ranma questioned as he repackaged the large tent they'd put up, prompting their blond leader to flash him a frank look.

"Chili isn't just a random collection of ingredients, it's a work of art. It needs to cook on a low heat for the proper length of time before it's anything but a fucking glorified spaghetti sauce," Eda replied with a shrug as she collapsed the table on which she'd been plotting their course. One eyebrow raised. "I didn't pack any pasta, so I'm not serving pasta sauce for dinner. It cooks until it's chili. Even if it means waiting for another couple of hours."

"Man, this stuff better be the best freaking thing I've ever tasted," the pigtailed boy snorted, sighing as he began to pick up the bags at his feet.

"It'll be worth the wait, Saotome," Eda confirmed with a grin. "In fact, I guarantee that this will be something you boys have never experienced before."

"That sounds ominous," Ryouga noted, shrugging the large bundle of equipment on to his shoulder.

"Don't you trust me?" Eda asked with a pout, flashing both boys a soft look.

"You're the tomboy's best friend," Ranma replied with a grin. "Do _you _trust you?"

"Good point. I can't wait for you two to experience dinner," the blond finally admitted with an evil smirk.

oOo

With a muted thud which caused her head to bounce off the lid, the coffin Rip van Winkle was laying in hit the sand of the beach with a thud. The German sniper quickly opened the lid, glaring at the man who'd dropped her. He flashed her a frightened, apologetic look in return and handed her her flintlock as she glanced across the water towards the boat.

As a vampire, she had a distinct problem with large bodies of moving water. It was hard to describe in explicit words, but it was almost like a magnetic pull when she was above it. Trying to forcefully leap across a moving river had once bounced her back as if she'd struck a solid wall. Whatever force governed that weakness seemed to be capable of being fooled if she was on a large enough craft. Beyond that, she was forced to be confined in a coffin which contained dirt from her homeland. Without it, she would not be able to return to the boat.

She glanced up towards the rising moon. Sunlight, despite the popular belief in media, would not kill her or even overly harm her. It would only rob her off her vampiric strength and speed, leaving her more or less mortal for the duration of the day. This weakness seemed proportionate to her exposure to the sun's rays, growing less pronounced in within a building or on especially cloudy days. Her talent for manipulating the bullets she fired from her gun, on the other hand, did not waver a single bit.

Still... It wouldn't do to risk things overmuch, she concluded. From the account given by the fresh recruit, she knew she was dealing with a pair of vampires. Perhaps they were, like her, turned during the course of the second World War. It would explain their confidence in taking on a heavily armed group like Heinrich's squad had been. A vampire could be injured by enough bullets, and if their hearts were destroyed they couldn't regenerate from the damage, no matter how much blood they had on hand.

She shouldered the backpack containing her supplies: A GPS, several vials of blood, additional ammo and powder for her gun, and a long, hooded ghillie poncho adapted for use in tropical terrain. During the night she had little need for such cover, but if she were forced to hunt her counterparts during the daylight the garment would allow her to strike from afar undetected, allowing her to direct her bullet towards the pair of vampires without giving them means to return fire.

"Cover the box, and make sure that it is kept safe," Rip informed the soldiers on the beach with a nod. Without waiting for them to acknowledge the order, she moved quickly and silently along the path Heinrich's squad had chopped through the dense undergrowth.

With the underbrush blurring past her, Rip wondered if this would be the battle that she died... Though she thought perhaps she would instead forestall Zamiel's hand by sending two more in her place.

oOo

"Holy crap!" Ranma swore, frantically tearing at his side. If he didn't get hold of it soon, he'd-!

"Needs a little less peppers. All of the hotness takes a bit away from the spicy," Ryouga commented quietly, taking another spoonful of the chili in his bowl, pausing to dunk a bit of bread into the bowl and chew on it.

"Might be the peppers I picked up," Eda admitted, quirking an eyebrow. "I tried to pick up some Red Savinas at the store like my mother's recipe calls for, but they only had some Indian ones. The owner of the store called them 'Ghost Peppers', said they'd put the ones I wanted to shame. I'm happy to see he was right."

"Ah, man! Why does the water make it burn _more?_" Ranma coughed from the side as he finished draining his canteen, prompting a grin from the blond teenager.

"The 'hot' in a pepper can't be put out by plain old water," Eda explained, shrugging. She smiled and ate some more of her food before contuining. "All it does is swish it around to the parts which aren't burning... yet."

"How do I stop it?" Ranma whimpered, eyeing his empty canteen pitifully.

"It should stop burning in a couple of hours," Ryouga informed his partner with a feral grin. He pointedly took another spoonful of the chili, earning a dirty look in response, before he turned his attention back to their current employer. "So did you make any progress?"

"Yes and no," Eda admitted, glancing towards the table where the map lay spread out. "I've figured out roughly where we've got to be to find the bunker, but I won't be able to tell for sure until tomorrow. I've got some geological survey equipment which will help us find it, but we need to be pretty close in order for it to work."

"How clothse?" Ranma panted, attempting to look serious while sticking his tongue outside his mouth and failing miserably. He glared at the blond American as she quirked an eyebrow.

"I've only got a small scanner, something I can more or less carry. It lets me scan through the ground and read the density of objects, a radar that goes through the ground," Eda mused, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "The ground penetrating radar I have can read up to four meters through the ground reliably, and the bunker is supposed to be buried five feet underneath the ground..."

"So we're going to have to be within two meters of where it's buried for you to find it," Ranma groaned, having abandoned his attempts to make the burning go away. "So if we've gotta be that close, aren't we going to be able to find the door anyway?"

"It's buried," the girl reminded him with a chuckle. "Once the Nazi commander buried the gold, he didn't want anyone to find it. I guess he either hid it on direct orders or because he wanted a nice little retirement package for himself when the war was over and he had a chance to get it back."

"So how come nobody's claimed it until now?" Ryouga wondered, setting aside his empty bowl. "If he had the resources to build a bunker instead of just leaving it here, surely some of his men must have known about it. That much gold doesn't just go missing."

"And that is where you underestimate my genius," Eda crowed smugly, finishing her meal with a flourish before continuing. "The documents which linked the gold and this island were pretty much unrelated. The island's location came from a recently-acquired Chinese report detailing a German ship which was sank in the vicinity. The same ship which was confirmed to have disappeared with all of that gold sometime during the middle of the war according to a separate, German report."

"So how'd you figure out where on the island this bunker is?" Ranma wondered, glaring at the full bowl of chili in his hands.

"A few of the Germans who were on the ship which delivered the cargo managed to hide themselves in Bangkok after surviving the sinking, and one of them was a crewman who happened to keep a diary which somehow made it off the ship with him," the blond said, pulling a worn, leather notebook from the pocket of her pants. "One of the entries has him complaining about some of the features of the island. It's been fifty years, but there's only a few spots on this island which could possibly match what he described."

"And if we check each of those spots, sooner or later we're going to find the buried bunker," Ryouga concluded with a nod. "Sounds fairly easy."

"There's _nothing _easy about anything I do," Eda informed him, and then her voice became light and teasing as her eyes travelled across Ryouga's torso. "Except..."

"Um, is there more chili?" The Lost Boy coughed, prompting a throaty laugh from the blond American.

oOo

"Fools," Rip van Winkle whispered, keen eyes into the camp. Curiously, the three seemed to be eating actual food, leaving the vampire to conclude that Heinrich had merely been frightened by two competent men trained as commandos. While both of the boys were clearly young, they were not soldiers. The young blond girl with them looked no older, but was clearly in charge.

They had only moved their camp two kilometers after the attack. Though they had no fire, the small lamp which lit their section of the forest illuminated them well enough. They'd been absurdly easy to track down and would be absurdly easy for her to kill. She readied her rifle, shifting one foot to steady her balance.

She thought she heard a silent laugh when a stick that couldn't have possibly been underfoot snapped loudly, drawing three sets of eyes in her direction.

Rip fired, a solid lead slug encasing in a flash of blue energy racing towards the pigtailed one's head.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Like I said, I'm importing Rip for a broad-strokes sort of filler villain. Her backstory here won't match up precisely with her backstory in the Hellsing manga, and neither will the specific weaknesses she has as a vampire. I covered those in a bit of an infodump there. Yes, she was still a sniper in World War II and in between then and the present, she was somehow turned into a vampire. You can still count on her to use a flintlock musket which fires a wacky direction-changing bullet, and have an unhealthy obsession with Der Freischütz.

I'm enjoying this cameo villain thing, almost as much as I'm enjoying writing the interactions between the trio above. I find it incredibly easy to write smooth-flowing, natural banter for them. Regarding the cameo thing, I'm certainly going to have to do it again sometime. It's certainly been fun.

Fun facts: The Ghost Pepper (aka the Bhut Jolokia pepper) which Eda used are literally the hottest in the world, being twice as hot as Red Savina (the previous world record holder). To give it a better sense of perspective, it is roughly half as potent as the average civilian-grade _pepper spray. _Ground-Penetrating Radar is also, in fact, real. The device I've described is far more potent than an actual hand-held GPR device would be.

That said... Expect at least one chapter (if not two or three) before Christmas. It depends on my work... I made the poor choice of grabbing a retail job. Sociopathy is looking more and more reasonable by the day.


	28. A Weekend WIth Eda 4

Forcibly United

oOo

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 4

oOo

Eda had time to flinch as a blue streak shot past her nose, causing her to spill her chili and roll for her gun as she thanked God that the bullet hadn't been aimed at her.

Her reaction was based on her knowledge of, and the natural limitations granted by physics, something her group's attacker or her two bodyguards apparently didn't feel constrained by: Ranma was forced to backflip and redirect himself high into the foliage as the bullet changed direction to follow him. The night sky was filled with an impressive substitute for fireworks as the bullet attempted to follow his acrobatic dodges.

Ryouga, meanwhile, had taken one look at the source of the shot and grinned nastily. Sickly green energy surrounded him as he glared at the origin of the attack.

"Perfect Shi Shi Hokodan!" Ryouga's yell was eclipsed by the surge of energy which rose high into the night sky, temporarily eclipsing the moon as it hung. The moment was broken as the collection of energy began to fall on the source of the attack, prompting a young woman to dive from her cover and land in front of them in a crouch.

She was a scrawny-looking woman, barely out of her teens to Eda's eyes. She had long, blue-black hair that spilled down her back, but the thing which caught the blond American's eyes was the outfit the other girl wore: Though it had no identifying marks or colors which affiliated her with any nation, the tight shirt and pants combination was too uncomfortable to be anything but a uniform.

Dodging Ryouga's attack had apparently cost her her ability to control the deadly projectile chasing Ranma, as he gracefully twisted once more out of it's way before it lost its hue as it shot into the night. The pigtailed boy grasped a tree branch with one hand and lightly flipped himself up to come to rest on all fours on the branch.

The girl had time to start packing the gun with gunpowder and was reaching for another large shell when Ryouga lashed out with a kick, sending the antique rifle far into the foliage with a snort.

Ranma quirked a confused eyebrow in Eda's direction from where he perched on the branch.

The American teenager shrugged in return, looking at the awkward-limbed teenage girl in front of her. Most of her instincts told her to shoot the dark-haired woman, especially given her uniform, but glaring at the trio through overly-large spectacles made her look... pathetic.

The girl's demeanor dared anyone to say anything. It reminded Eda of her little sister, the way she'd always get indignant whenever life hadn't gone her way. It made the woman seem more childish than anything.

"So... You're with the jerks we encountered earlier, right?" Ranma asked, taking the dare with the same indifference he'd always taken challenges and crouching near to the girl to meet her gaze in what he probably felt was a sympathetic gaze. It more resembled a glare than anything to both of the other members of the trio.

"You might laugh now, but when the Council hears of you, you'll be sorry," the blue-tinged brunette muttered darkly. "You're supposed to tell them when there's going to be conflicts of interest like this so that we don't have to fight one another. And with you two being so powerful, it's just not fair to me! How could you expect me to compete with two as old and powerful as you!"

"Old?" Ranma cackled, slapping a knee as he stood. Then he paused, before crouching back down and eyeing the girl directly. "Wait, what's this Council thing?"

"You dare deny it? You've got speed unmatched by any human, and your friend could probably give a powerful mage a run for their money. Don't treat me like an ignorant child!" The girl commanded, glaring at the two.

"What are you talking about?" Ranma wondered, shrugging as he stood. "I'm not that quick."

"You deny it, you bastard? How the hell else do you think you can move that fast!" The uniform-clad girl looked on the verge of apoplexy at that point.

"I'm awesome?" The pigtailed boy offered, shrugging. He then glanced to Ryouga. "So... Man, you've heard of these Council guys, right? We gonna have to kick their asses at some point, I think."

"Kick their asses! That's blasphemy!" The girl sputtered, eyes wide.

"We should probably concentrate on the whole Council thing," Eda interrupted, glancing between the two boys and the trio's opponent. "Just who are they?"

"The Council, damn it! And if you think happening to hire a couple of morons who don't know their standing is going to protect you from their wrath, you're sorely mistaken, human!" Her spectacles gleamed as she glared at the blond.

"Human, huh. Uh, boys?" Eda demanded, garnering their attention. "Discussion time. Tie up our guest so we can chat in private."

oOo

Rip tried to stifle a chuckle as the trio simply walked across the clearing to discuss their strategy. The two boys were clearly humouring their human patron at this point, so the young vampire made no move to break free of her bonds. She was only half surprised when they didn't give her a wink.

Until the conversation got going.

"That crazy bitch thinks she's a vampire," The blond girl, apparently the leader, noted, her eyes rolling to the bound vampire.

Rip knew that nobody would mess with the council. Not for some mere human.

"Maybe she is?" The pigtailed vampire offered, shrugging. "That bullet trick was messed up. If I wasn't a little faster, she actually might have hit me!"

"That would have been a shame," the bandana-clad vampire's comment was entirely insincere to Rip's ears, but the grin he directed at the other male was challenging. "Like something like that could have killed you, anyway!"

"Hey, it might've stung me a bit!" the pigtailed vampire protested, not subtle in the least. He couldn't hide grin on his face.

These two were obviously rogue vampires, two who were blessed with a startlingly powerful bloodline for their relative age. It was the only explanation the fifty-year-old girl had for their attitude and ignorance towards their heritage.

She knew that humans couldn't even hope to be this powerful. She listened on, eagerly.

oOo

Eda was still recovering from her brush with death when one of the two boys she'd hired to protect her spoke.

"So, this chick is crazy, right?" Ranma offered, shrugging as he glanced in the dark-haired woman's direction.

"She can make a bullet dance to her tune, so let's keep that gun of hers out of her hands," the blond nun noted absently, her gaze finding the other girl's for a moment before turning aside. "This is just a small complication in the job. Hell, it's why I hired you boys. You took care of her, so now it's my turn."

With that, the blond drew her gun.

"Whoa, wait a minute," Ryouga protested, his partner getting up right alongside him as the duo stood in the way between Eda and her target.

"Let's think this one through," Ranma said, grinning nervously. "Let's not make any mistakes here."

"I don't intend to make a mistake," Eda admitted, grinning at Ranma. "The bitch is going to die so that we're not leaving any loose ends behind."

Both of Eda's defenders exchanged sharp looks at this, Ryouga stepping forward.

"I don't really think that's necessary," Ryouga noted, placing a hand on the semi-automatic handgun in the blond's hands. He was surprised when she stood back, aiming the gun at his heart.

"She just tried to kill us! She'd be pissing bunnies and sunshine if the three of us were dead! Why the hell are you getting in my way!" Eda demanded, her eyes narrowing as she reconsidered the two samurai in front of her.

That damned code she'd praised at one point was looking like a liability.

"She can't defend herself. No way we're just gonna let you shoot her," Ranma confirmed, crossing his arms and standing between Eda and the dark-haired "vampire". The pigtailed man cocked an eyebrow, glancing towards the bound woman. "Besides, you think she's gonna escape?"

"Fine," Eda ground out, her teeth gritted as she glared at the duo she was stupid enough to hire for the duration of her search. She was beginning to regret her decision to allow the two young men on her team.

"Then we've got a problem," Eda concluded, narrowing her eyes as she glared at her two hirelings. "I don't feel like dragging around a prisoner who could potentially feed information back to her employers."

"We'll just keep an eye on her," Ranma protested, crossing his arms. "What's the worst that could happen!"

Eda's palm rose to meet her face while Ryouga simply shrugged, already resigned to his partner's lapse of judgement.

oOo

Author's Notes:

I meant it when I said this would be a rather light-hearted arc. If it means, in the end, that I have to depower Rip Van Winkle a little, so be it. Though to be fair, I don't think I am. Honestly speaking, Rip Van Winkle's **magic **bullet tearing apart a fighter jet on a horribly predictable course isn't very impressive in Ranmaverse terms.

Nor is the way she completely breaks down once things go badly for her. Rip is a wuss. Anyway, I know this is a little short, but...

A) It's what I got

and

B) It's a pretty good place to stop.

-Gaming Ikari


	29. A Weekend WIth Eda 5

Forcibly United

oOo

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 5

oOo

The morning sun rose in the sky over a forest-choked island, cheerfully shining it's rays down on the few inhabitants of the small mass of land below. One of those inhabitants was currently attempting to work her way free of the ropes which tightly bound her wrists, ankles, and connected the two bonds enough that it was uncomfortable even pretending to sleep.

Rip Van Winkle freed one hand and grinned to herself. Whatever the odds, she'd triumph. She flexed her hand, willing the feeling to return to it as she contemplated her victory. The human or, perhaps, humans were no doubt still sleeping in the large tent they'd erected after tying her securely.

All she had to do was reach around and untie the rope from the tree. Then she could work herself around enough to untie her other wrist, and from there, she could quickly get free to escape, or perhaps even eliminate the threat altogether.

She'd just unhooked the rope from the tree, relishing her upcoming victory, when she rolled over.

Squatting on his heels, one of the two boys from the previous night glared at her, his pigtail almost sticking up in annoyance.

Rip's eyes widened.

The pigtailed boy, Ranma if she remembered correctly, raised an eyebrow while also raising one fist. Clenched in that fist was a length of stout chains with a number of impressive locks. He slowly raised the other hand, which held a keyring full of keys which, presumably, matched the locks on the chains.

He didn't say anything... Not that he needed to: His annoyance, and the presence of far more secure bonds communicated his desires quite plainly.

Rip groaned in frustration.

oOo

"So she tried to escape?" Eda asked, her voice light. The trio were currently eating a cold breakfast, having packed up most of the camp already. By the less than casual return look her hireling cast her she knew he was aware she was really asking if the dark-haired girl claiming to be a vampire was becoming a liability.

"It took her most of the night, and now she's got those chains on her. I doubt it's going to happen again," Ranma informed her firmly. _She's easy to handle. _Message recieved. Eda nodded, turning back to her cereal.

"We should hit the first site early, and if we can scan it quickly enough we should be able to reach the second before we run out of light," the blond nun noted, finishing her breakfast and rinsing the bowl using the wash bucket. "We'll get moving in five minutes."

Walking away from the two boys, Eda busied herself with her pack, reaching up to tuck her hair behind one ear and while slipping a reciever into place. With any other people she could have brought along, save maybe Revy and her crew, she'd have been listening to see when they were planning to betray her. With these two, she was merely trying to figure out the easiest way to smooth over last night's unpleasantries.

After all... As silly as she might have found their code, one cold hard truth had emerged after a night's restless sleep: In the city of Roanapur, the ability to trust someone was worth whatever personal foibles they might have.

With a flick of her index finger, she turned on the transmitter, hoping that she hadn't damaged their trust too badly with her display last night... And hoping that the conversation would reveal something that would allow her to repair that damage.

oOo

Ranma at the last of his cereal and looked up, quirking an eyebrow at Ryouga's frown.

"What's the problem, pork chop?" The pigtailed boy finally demanded, draining the milk from his bowl and setting it aside. "You're acting depressed."

"Ranma-" Ryouga began with a chuckle, only to be cut off.

"More than usual," Ranma added.

"Last night, Eda pointed her gun at me. And she was going to kill that helpless girl," Ryouga admitted with a frown. "Think about that. Do you really want to work for someone like that?"

"Ryouga..." Ranma began, reaching over... And slapping the boy in the back of the head. "Stop being an idiot!"

"Ranma! How dare you mock me!" Ryouga roared standing. He fell on his ass as Ranma swept his feet out from under him.

"Think about it, idiot!" Ranma snorted, sitting down on the log. He waved his hands around in the air. "What would Revy have done? Or Shenhua? Or Balalaika? Seriously, think about what would have happened if any of them had been in charge here instead of Eda."

Ryouga rubbed his chest thoughtfully. The Saotome heir could see the wheels turning in his rival's head. Any of the others would have gone for blood the instant the two boys had stood in their way. _Especially _Revy.

"Don't forget, that 'helpless girl' nearly got me last night with that gun of hers and that stupid bullet trick! Plus she's claiming she's a vampire or some crap like that!" Ranma continued, crossing his arms. He concluded, "I don't really think Eda's reaction was too outta line. Remember: She's pretty normal by our standards. She's hadta have been thinking about what would've happened if the psycho in chains had aimed at her."

"I'm not sure, Ranma... The way Revy talks about Eda... She can be pretty cold," Ryouga argued, though he was wilting under the look the pigtailed boy was giving him.

"Look at her, pig-boy. She's been acting all wierd since she woke up. I think she feels, like, really bad! Did you see the way she just left right after she finished her breakfast?" Ranma demanded, gesturing to where the blond teenager in question was huddled at her backpack.

"Maybe you're right..." Ryouga concluded, thoughtfully his chin.

"Of course I am. Hell, look at that, man!" Ranma gestured, and both boys could see her shoulders shaking. Ranma groaned. "She's sitting over there by herself, crying. She thinks we're all pissed off with her because she got scared about what happened and overreacted. We gotta go tell her we're sorry for last night, Ryouga. You wanna have that on your conscience?"

"You're right, Ranma," the bandanna-clad boy admitted, setting his breakfast aside. "Let's go set things right. We have to apologize... or what kind of men are we?"

"That's the spirit!" Ranma said cheerfully, clapping his partner on the shoulder as they both strode across the camp.

oOo

On the other side of the clearing, Eda was listening to the conversation and her shoulders were, in fact, shaking with unrestrained emotion. The emotion was not anything dark, depressing, or otherwise negative. In fact, the blond American was doing her best not to burst out into laughter.

On the one hand, she knew that they were about to make an apology and fix things for her based entirely on their own moral code. A moral code which had prompted her to hire them in the first place, a moral code which was the reason she knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she could trust the pair with her life.

Hell, it was a trust they'd proved valid more than once already on this job. Trust so solid that she'd back their word even against damning coincidental evidence to the contrary.

On the other hand, it wasn't her fault the little bastards were complete and total suckers.

As she heard the footsteps approach, she hurriedly composed herself, forcing her grin down into a frown.

"Uh, Eda?" Ryouga's voice was small, hesitant. It almost made the blond girl feel guilty about allowing them to apologize like they were about to.

Almost.

"W-what do you want?" While spitting out the question, the blond American managed to turn an emerging chuckle into a choked-back sob. It made her remember her senior year at high-school, when she'd been part of the cheerleader clique. Pretending a genuine interest in the dumb jocks her peers had approved for her to date had, in it's way, given her a rather thorough background in acting.

"Look, we want to talk about last night, okay?" Ranma asked, placing a hand on her shoulders. Given the level of tact the two boys were displaying, Eda thought she could milk it a bit. She spun to glare at him, the tears of suppressed laughter shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, alright? I panicked! It was stupid of me to panic like that! But that woman's powers... I-I just felt so helpless!" The blond turned quickly to face away as the grin she was trying to keep down almost failed. Silent laughter wracked her body, and it took every fiber of her willpower to keep just the sound from escaping.

The shaking of her shoulders was, once more, impossible to contain.

"Hey, we're trying to apologize, damn it!" Ranma declared angrily, and Eda slowly turned to look at the two boys. Ranma was practically glaring at her, not that she expected much less of the boy. His reactions to any situation he wasn't used to tended to slip all over the place.

Ryouga, on the other hand, looked broken and defeated. Eda did feel a little guilty then, noting the way the boy's downcast eyes found his feet.

"Look, guys..." Eda began slowly, reaching out to put a hand on each of their shoulders.

For her, it was a crossroads: Tell the boys the truth and admit she was lying, or continue to feed them the current bullshit that they currently believed?

It wasn't a hard decision.

"...I know what you're trying to say," Eda stated, sniffling a bit as she met their eyes. "Look, it doesn't matter. You guys probably stopped me from making a huge mistake."

"Well, as long as you understand..." Ryouga stated, sounding confused. With the knowledge that this boy was the one who had the most doubts about her, the blond teenager knew she'd have to move in for the kill.

"Thank you for understanding!" Eda cried, leaping forward to grab the boy in a tight hug. As far as plausible deniability was concerned, she hadn't planned to nuzzle the boy's face between her breasts like she was. Not at all.

Though the blond couldn't help but admit to herself that the way the boy's face went beet red and the way he struggled to get free without toughing or harming her was, oddly enough, quite endearing.

Moments later, both boys were following her orders as readily as they had when the trio first arrived on the island.

All according to plan.

oOo

It had only taken the trio, plus one prisoner, a couple of hours to arrive at the next dig site. Once there, it'd only taken Eda ten minutes of scanning beneath the ground to get excited.

Eagerly, both Ranma and his cohort attacked the ground where she'd indicated, scooping out entire shovelfuls of dirt with their hands, as rocks were shattered with either the tip of a finger or a flurry of hyper-fast punches, depending on which of the boys encountered them.

They struck cement, and Ranma grinned at his bandanna-clad partner as they paused. "It's all you, man," the pigtailed boy offered, gesturing with one hand to the flat surface beneath them.

The top of the bunker shattered beneath their feet as Ryouga struck the top of the bunker with all his strength, not bothering to utilize the breaking point as his excitement overcame him.

Both boys landed lightly on their feet, glancing around in the bunker.

"Yo, Eda, toss down a light!" Ranma yelled, raising a hand. After a moment's pause, a flashlight fell into the hole, the pigtailed boy catching it deftly in one hand and turning it on. Shining the light around the room, he saw several things... Old computers and radio equipment, a gun rack with many outdated rifles and a pair of machineguns gathering dust... but one thing dominated his and Ryouga's attention.

In one corner of the vault, a wooden skid with five hundred bars of gold lay forgotten, the dust coating it doing little to dull the shine of the metal underneath the glow of the flashlight.

"Ryouga..." Ranma breathed, clapping his partner on the shoulder. "You know what this means, right? We've... We've done it! We're going to get rid of the curse of these damned bracers!"

Ryouga grinned in appreciation, not daring to speak.

They'd done it.

Nothing could possibly dampen his bright mood, now.

oOo

I dare any of you to tell me Eda's not perfectly capable of manipulating people like that. **Dare.**

Also**: **Check out the poll on my profile to decide what fanart I'm going to commission for **Forcibly Unityed**'s birthday. And if you know a great author on DeviantArt who'll fit into my fifty dollar budget, feel free to PM me with their contact information so I can check 'em out.**  
**

-Gaming Ikari


	30. A Weekend With Eda 6

Forcibly United

A Weekend With Eda

Chapter 6

oOo

Despite the plans she'd put into the work she'd done in the last few days, despite the fact she'd had to trust others with the location of her score, Eda found herself staring into the gaping hole as Ranma handed up bar after bar of gold. Having picked up one herself, she knew that each was roughly a kilogram.

Ranma and Ryouga continued to hand them up. When they were done, five hundred bars of gold stood on the surface of the ground. Beside the blond, their prisoner found herself staring at the small fortune in front of them as well.

Which is why she was caught off guard when Eda hauled her to her feet by the chains binding her hands behind her back.

"So... You're a vampire, right?" Eda wondered, guiding her to the hole that Ranma and Ryouga had recently vacated. She topped, rubbing her jaw. "Does that mean you have trouble with large bodies of moving water?"

Giving her a suspicious glance, the spectacled girl answered, "Yes, why do you ask?"

"That's all I needed to know," the American informed her with a grin, placing a foot on her and shoving her towards the whole. With a wordless shriek of surprise, the dark-haired vampire fell into the pit and landed on the ground below. "Still alive down there?"

"I'm going to kill you!" Her voice called back up, angrily.

"Excellent! Your friends will be along soon to gather you, I promise!" Eda replied, turning to the two shocked teenagers. After a moment, she shrugged. "Look, you heard her. We can't exactly take her with us once we get to the ocean."

"What about her friends coming to get her? They don't know where we are," Ryouga pointed out.

"Well boys, it's simple. We're going to ditch our equipment and you two are going to load yourselves up with gold while I set the charges for this bomb, far enough away from the bunker not to hurt the poor dear down there, of course," Eda promised upon their widened eyes at the word 'bomb'. "An hour after we leave, the bomb goes off, which they're sure to investigate. And by the time they get here and find the gold is already gone, we're on our little boat and heading towards a life of luxury. Sound good?"

"...Works for me," Ranma concluded with a shrug, beginning to empty one of the packs. He stopped for a moment, looking at it. "You do realize that these packs are going to tear if we put more than a hundred bars in 'em, right?"

Eda raised one eyebrow delicately in response.

"You really think I came so ill-prepared? I'm insulted, Ranma. Each of those packs are kevlar sewn together with braided steel. They can withstand whatever you two can fit in them," the blond noted, adding, "Conveniently, that should be more than enough room for the gold and whatever expensive tools we can fit in."

It was the work of minutes for Eda to pack some explosives around a large rock fifty feet away from the hole. Not wanting to risk collapsing the bunker in deference to her compatriots, she formed a shaped charge which would direct most of the force up and away from the hole and the location of the bunker. It'd still create quite the loud bang, more than enough to draw the attention of the search parties no doubt combing the island.

However, it still wouldn't be enough. No matter how loud the bang, a single explosion wouldn't draw their enemies to the site unless there was something visual for them to pinpoint.

Remembering her time in the girl scouts, she grabbed bunch of wet leaves and green branches from the jungle surrounding them, setting them up in a neat pile far from the explosion's site. A bit of twine bound them into a tight cone almost the size of a tee-pee and secured it to the ground, a heavy wire net thrown overtop to keep it from being overturned by the explosion.

At the center of it all, inside the cone, she set a fire amidst a large pyramid of some dry, slow-burning wood. By her estimation, the wood would begin to heat the greenery around it in twenty minutes or so... More than enough time for the fire to start burning in half an hour.

The end result would be a loud bang and an equally large plume of smoke to guide their pursuers in to the location they'd long ago left.

Noting the boys had finished packing the gold and were waiting for her, Eda started the timer for the explosives and led them off into the jungle.

oOo

Staring at the bright light shining down into the bunker, Rip cursed her poor fortune as she considered the dilemma in front of her. She tried wiggling free of her chains, and after only moments knew that the attempt would be fruitless. Whatever other faults the pigtailed youth who'd recaptured her might have, he did know how to secure her so she couldn't wiggle free.

However, the German vampire refused to quit. Noticing the chairs and tables to the side of the bunker, she had an idea. The chairs and tables were all lightweight, and should be easy enough for her to move around even with her arms bound behind her back. And the cieling, afterall, was only nine feet up.

She could get out. It would be hard, but relying on that American cow to have set up the explosives properly didn't seem like a good idea to the sniper.

Rip glared at the free space under the hole. It'd take a pyramid of chairs and tables to get up. She'd figure out how to climb up the pit leading to the bunker when she got there.

The first two tables were easy. All the dark-haired vampire had to do was grab the ends of the tables and lift slightly, dragging them underneath the pillar of light cast by the hole above. A few bumps with her hips shoved the two tables more or less parallel, leaving her with a base on which to rest the next table. After that, it'd just be chairs.

The third table was far more troublesome, and Rip knew she'd have to work to get it into place. Crouching underneath the table, she carefully balanced the load on her shoulders and lifted, using her hands to steady it as she extended her legs. Noticing that she was still a foot short on one end, she wiggled the table forward a bit and used her head to lift one end up, barely getting both legs on the table. With that part done, it was simple enough to set the other two legs on the tables. From there, it was a simple matter of using her bound hands to centre the table above on the two tables below.

Rip was honestly surprised by how quickly she'd done it. It'd felt like only a couple minutes since the pyramid was started, and here it was, almost completed already. All it needed was the chairs. With grim determination, the dark-haired girl set to work, dragging a pair of chairs over.

The first was easy. All she had to do was set it next to the table, wiggling it into place with her thighs. The next required her to get up on the first two tables, which became a stumbling point. No matter how much she twisted her ankles, the chair refused to come up, slipping off the toe of her boot before she could get it above the level of the tabletop.

After the third failure, she dropped into a seat on the floor, propping her booted foot on knee as she attacked the knotted laces with her teeth. Her left boot loosened quickly, and she kicked it off with a casual motion, bare foot recoiling slightly as it touched the rubble-strewn ground. Ignoring the alien sensation, she similarly removed her right boot before climbing back on the table.

This time, raising the seat was easy. Shoving one end of the table over precariously, she made room for the metal folding chair on the second level. A similar technique allowed her to work a third chair on top of the highest folding table. For one brief moment as she ascended the pyramid she felt the construction beneath her shake, and her heart leapt to her throat: If it fell now, she wouldn't have time to escape before the blond cow's bomb went off.

Perched on top of the last chair, the ceiling of the bunker nestled just above her hips as she lightly pressed her back into it, Rip knew that she'd only have one shot at her escape attempt. If she did this right, she could jump with her back pressed to the one wall of the pit as a pivot point, which would allow her to brace herself across the hole with her legs.

Doing so would no doubt knock the chair underneath her to the bunker floor, and if she fell, she had no doubt that the fragile pyramid of furniture would be knocked off balance and fall to pieces as well. Despite the fact she didn't really need to do so, the dark-tressed vampire took a deep breath to steady herself as she mentally willed herself to action.

The chair slid on surface of the table underneath her as she pressed her back firmly against the concrete and dirt behind her, before kicking out from underneath her as she braced herself and threw her feet at the surface opposite her.

Her right foot caught firmly in the dirt above the bunker, but the other only briefly scraped concrete before slipping back into the bunker. Her left shoulder scraped along the concrete behind her as her weight shifted, and Rip straightened the line of her body from right toe to her shoulders as she panicked, fearing a fall to the bunker below.

After a brief pause, determining that she wasn't about to fall into the darkness below, Rip grinned. Wiggling her shoulders up the wall behind her as much as she dared, the vampire then twisted her hips and brought her other bare foot up, the toes on her delicate foot sinking into the deliciously cool dirt underneath as they struck the opposite wall.

Although the pit wasn't perfectly level as it rose, the vampire grinned as she made her way to the top. She would make her way out. She would escape. Even as the pit widened toward the top and she was forced to straighten her legs and torso simply to maintain her position, she was happy. Her legs trembling as her strength waned in the sun, Rip finally twisted her body onto the cool grass above, escaping the confines of the bunker.

She'd managed to force herself to her knees when her eyes found the counter of the explosives the blond cow had placed. Despite the decades she'd lived, the moments following the instant she noticed the 00:00:38 were the longest four seconds of her life.

The blast felt like it caught her in the sternum, despite the fact Rip knew if the explosion hadn't been controlled it would have ripped her apart like wet paper in the wind. Instead, it merely threw her back five feet.

Of course, this left her perched on her knees above the pit the two unnatural boys had dug, slowly tipping forward into the darkness. Despite digging her toes into the turf behind her, the vampire's balance inexorably tilted forward and she plunged into the darkness.

As the tables crashed underneath her and spilled her, scraped but otherwise uninjured, back onto the floor of the bunker, one thought invaded Rip's mind: 'At least the blond bitch placed the explosives correctly.'

Of course, this was when the ceiling groaned ominously.

oOo

Author's Note:

I seriously did not set out to make Rip quite this big of a butt-monkey, but I guess it came with the territory of making her an anti-climax villain. Ah well. C'est La Vie. I promise the next villain I import from some other series for the purpose of a throw-away villain will be treated more seriously.

Then again, how could I treat them LESS seriously?

As for Ranma and Ryouga carrying all the bars, well... 1 litre of gold weighs 19.3 kg. By volume, the 500 kg of gold they found would equal 25.9 litres. Most travel backpacks can hold between 15 to 25 litres. Multiply that by two, and the boys can fit the volume in easily.


	31. A Weekend With Eda 7

Forcibly United

A Weekend With Eda: Chapter 7

oOo

Ranma grimaced as the trio made their way through the jungle's growth, the weight of the kevlar backpack causing straps to bite deeply into his shoulders. Even with the chi he was using to reinforce his strength, the damned bag was heavy. It didn't help that the thing continued to get caught on the undergrowth of the forest, necessitating frequent stops to untangle himself lest he start dragging half the plant life between him and the ocean along with him.

Behind him, Ryouga's muttered curses were an echo of his own. Yet underlying the bad mood, Ranma couldn't help but feel that they'd finally succeeded. They'd finally won. Not only would the curse that bound them together be cured, but they'd each have a bundle of cash on the side.

The only question would be what they'd do next, and it was on that thought that Ranma nearly stumbled in his walk through the jungle, trailing their blond leader. It was actually a damned good question. One he wouldn't have had to ask before he and Ryouga had wound up spending an extended stay in Roanapur.

What exactly would he do next?

He knew he'd go back to Aka- The Tendo's place, but did he necessarily have to go right away? He didn't consider himself a material person by any stretch of the imagination. He and Ryouga had both spent years on the road, making ends meet with odd jobs and the stoicism of the road. Neither of them needed the sort of money they were earning at the moment.

Yet Ranma couldn't help but think what he could do with his life with a bit more money. Another few months, and he could afford to buy a large enough store front in downtown Tokyo that the Saotome School of Anything Goes would easily reach national prominence within weeks. Or he could build a small dojo in the countryside, taking only the best students and not worrying a day for the rest of his life about earning money, but instead just focusing on the perfection of his art.

Was he really ready to leave Roanapur even if Ryouga would wander away, intending to or not, the day that the curse was lifted? Or would he remain a while longer in order to earn enough money that he'd never have to work again?

oOo

Eda bit her thumb, staring across the small bay at the fishing boat which had conveyed them to the island. There was no sign that the men who'd been hunting them earlier had found it, nor was their any sign that the small rowboat they'd left on the beach had been tampered with in any way.

Yet they were military. A strict one at that, if she was any judge. They couldn't have possibly missed either of their boats. Paranoid to a fault, the blond had cautiously approached their beached rowboat, checking the underside for anything amiss. After inspecting every inch of the craft in the waning light, she finally motioned for the boys to join her.

They launched the craft into the ocean water, two stout lines trailing them as the Ryouga unraveled lines of braided steel while Ranma paddled them to the fishing boat. Once they arrived, the pair quickly drew in the gold-filled bags on the beach, each fashioned with a flotation device which would make the task easier. There was no way the rowboat could have handled their weight.

Eda frowned, glaring around the boat. Sunlight was waning, and even if she had the inclination to check every inch of the boat before setting off, doing so would raise the chances of being found by their foes greatly. Assuming they hadn't been discovered in the first place.

The CIA agent did a sweep of the control panel, her sharp eyes noting every screw tightening the metal plate to the boat proper and noting no signs of interference. A visual check underneath the panels with her pen light showed no obvious bugs crudely fashioned in place with magnets or glue.

The blond teenager, ignoring the boys dividing the loot into "her pile" and "their pile", moved to the engine room. Turning on the overhead light and using her flashlight to check the corners not illuminated, Eda performed a full evaluation of the engine itself and the room.

The engine showed no obvious signs of tampering, and nothing looked out of place. The blond girl even spent five minutes shoving her hands into questionable crevices in the engine room, feeling around for devices which had no reason to be on a used fishing boat.

Aside from gunk-covered fish bones, very likely from a time when the previous owner overestimated his cargo hold's size, Eda found nothing.

Had she been less professional, one could have called her check of the cargo room half-hearted. As it was, the young woman knew she was missing something, and even a thorough check revealed nothing. There were no large crates or anything to hide a device, and not a single plank showed a sign of tampering.

The boat was, in theory, clean.

Yet Eda was certain that she'd missed something. Fighting the disquiet in her instincts, the blond finally started up the engine and slowly moved the boat out of the bay, having extinguished all lights on the craft.

oOo

Underneath the boat, a small radio transmitter in a plastic bag taped to the underside was turned on when the fishing line attached to the propeller was pulled as the boat's engine turned over.

oOo

They were going to make it, Ryouga thought. He felt... giddy. No more Ranma bothering him every day of the week. He could finally be free! Sitting in the darkness while Eda steered the boat for the open ocean, Ryouga couldn't help but smile. He'd be free of the city of Roanapur.

He might miss a few people, he'd admit. But it wasn't like he wouldn't be wandering through the place sometime in the future anyway. He could always visit the people he liked.

His hopes were dashed as he heard a strange whistle, followed quickly by a splash thirty or forty feet out in the water. His curiosity about just what the hell it was was answered when a large, muted boom rocked the boat, shooting a large spray of water into the air.

"Shit, I knew I missed something!" Eda growled from the boat's wheel, her hand deftly shoving the throttle forward as she guided it away from the explosion. "Hold onto something guys, this might just get a little bit bumpy!"

Another shell hit the water, sending a plume of water into the air once more. This time, Ryouga whirled his head to find the source. Less than a kilometer away, a large ship with a lot of guns was bearing down on them. Even at that distance, the Lost Boy could see the ship's weapons quite clearly, illuminated by the vessel's running lights.

"We're never gonna get away from that thing," Ranma muttered, glancing to Eda, who briefly nodded in agreement. He slammed a fist into open palm. "Okay, I got a plan. You think you can keep the boat together for another ten minutes, blondie?"

"I can try!" Eda growled, swerving a bit and wincing as the spray from another shot from the other ship soaked her.

"Okay, P-chan. Into the rowboat. Let's go distract the guys on that ship from shooting at us," Ranma said, putting the small boat in the water and hopping in, followed shortly by his partner.

"I've told you before, don't call me P-chan!" Ryouga growled in reply, both boys digging oars into water as they propelled themselves across the distance to the approaching ship. Before too long, they were looking at the approaching bow of the ship and getting ready.

"On three, we jump! One, two... Three!" Ranma cried, and both boys leaped in the same instant. They landed on the ship's deck, surprising the guard there. He barely had time to blink in surprise before Ryouga's fist found his gut, throwing him away from the pair.

Their grins matched perfectly.

"Bet I can take out more of these chumps than you can, Ranma!" Ryouga challenged.

"It's on!" Ranma agreed smashing his fist into the decking.

The crew's only supernatural support was stranded in a bunker kilometers away from where the ship was. Even should said support have been there, it was no match for either boy, let alone the pair working together. The gun crew only had time to fire two more shots before they were put down, and the rest of the crew swiftly followed.

oOo

On the small fishing boat she'd rented, Eda breathed a sigh of relief. Barely five minutes ago, her two bodyguards had assaulted the ship. And after one last, painfully close shell had nearly capsized the boat, the attacks had ceased. Her boys had done exactly what she'd brought them to do – Inflict violence on her enemies.

She smiled, slowing the throttle to match the speed of the following boat. The boys would finish, come back, and then they'd escape back to Roanapur with far more money than they'd departed. A few days of easy work, and bam! They were rich!

Eda's smug feeling of superiority lasted precisely until the engine of the boat cut out. Feeling a dread deep in her gut, she grabbed her small flashlight and opened the hatch to the engine room. She dropped in, and the blond let out a low moan when her feet landed on the decking below after going through nearly two feet of water already.

The engine was flooded, and her boat was going to be sinking shortly thereafter. Given the fact she could hear the water pouring in, she knew it was a vain hope to try to plug the leak. She'd probably get killed trying: Trying to escape a dark room with limited breath and only a pen light would be suicide.

Eda decided then that she had to cut her losses. She climbed the ladder back to the deck of the boat. All she had to do was pile the gold in the rowboat, as much as it could hold, and recover the rest from the sinking fishing boat at a later date, providing that someone else didn't get to it first. She grabbed a bar and moved to do exactly that.

Then she realized that Ranma and Ryouga had taken the rowboat with them to attack the larger ship: All she had was a life jacket to keep her afloat. Grabbing said floatation device and abandoning ship with her gun, Eda inflated the device and swam away.

At least, she thought, the sunk boat would make finding the gold easy.

It was then that the larger craft which had been chasing them flashed by, smashing the fishing boat into little more than bits of flotsam. Eda was forced to swim as hard as she could just to avoid being sucked into the ship's wake.

Ignoring the sound of Ranma laughing over the sound of gunfire as the ship slowly plodded on, Eda couldn't help but stare at the place where her rented boat had been just a moment ago.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Bwah? I'm writing again? I know, I know. It's a shock. Hopefully I'll get in the habit of doing this more often. Another chapter should finish this arc off and then I can do something about that whole dramatic mess I used this arc to avoid.

Originally, this arc was planned to end differently. I'll go into details about it next chapter, but I think things wound up for the better here.


	32. A Weekend With Eda 8

Forcibly United

A Weekend With Eda: Chapter 8

oOo

"I can make a bigger hole than you can," Ranma asserted to his companion, thirty feet away. Ryouga shook his head and gestured with one finger.

"Bakusai Tenketsu. I don't care how much chi you pump into the blast, Ranma. If I touch this point I'm seeing right now, the ship is probably going to split right in half. There's no way you can win!" The Lost Boy asserted.

The pair had cleared the ship of combatants and destroyed the engine. Every single unconscious body was piled on two of the six lifeboats and lowered into the water and cast adrift, the ends of the lines which held them lazily drifting in the waves. The ship now drifted in the ocean tides, the current actually bringing it closer to the island. Ranma and Ryouga had each thrown a chi blast into the sky to let Eda know it was safe to approach before going below deck to find a way to sink it. After a time of pointless wandering, Ryouga had stopped and identified the place they'd use to sink the boat.

"We go on three," the pigtailed boy grunted, reaching within himself to tap into his chi. There was absolutely no way he was planning to lose. "One..."

"Two..." Ryouga continued, lazily reaching out with one finger.

"Three!" The pair yelled together.

Ranma's chi blast was a flash of blue energy which impacted with the outer hull just to the left of the bow itself, the force of it leaving a huge chunk of plating missing. His blast was a little high, and only the bottom foot or so of the hole was allowing water to rush in. Ranma stared at it in triumph for a moment, especially when he looked over at Ryouga's efforts.

The bandana-clad boy's technique had produced a vertical seam which looked tiny, running up to the ceiling and down below their feet. Blue eyes narrowed in triumph as Ryouga's rival opened his mouth to crow about his victory when everything to the left of the seam seemed to... tilt. Hearing the scream of stressed metal, both boys ran down the hallway a small distance as the front end of the boat slowly started to pull away from the back end, right along the seam.

"My hole's bigger," Ryouga noted smugly.

"Shut up."

oOo

_Twenty five minutes before..._

The pair of blue and green glowing balls flying into the sky immediately caught Eda's interest as she fought against the current. Whatever the boys were doing, the ship they'd been on had stopped moving forward and started slowly drifting back nearly ten minutes ago.

Even though the water was neither particularly cold even as night truly began to fall in full, nor was it pleasant to be in. Still, given the choice of swimming back to the island or swimming toward the boat, she'd chosen the boat.

Twenty exhausting minutes later, she was cursing modern ship design. Specifically, the lack of any way of climbing up the damned side. It was then that she noticed the lines from lifeboats which had, apparently, been used.

It was easily a fifty foot climb. Noting that her options were climb the fucking rope or float in the ocean, Eda chose to climb the god-damned rope. Near the top her shoulders started to burn, but the blond dextrously swung the rope back and then launched herself onto the decking. Rubbing her arms, the nun privately congratulated herself on her decision to hit the weights a little harder. Without it, she probably wouldn't have been able to make the climb after that long swim.

"Now, where would the captain's cabin be?" Eda muttered to herself, crossing the deck of the boat to an open hatch. A few wrong turns later, and she found the place. No doubt this would be the best place to start with their looting of the vessel. She'd have to give the boys a bigger cut than she had: If they could sell this warship to the right people, it might well be worth more than the gold which had been scuttled with her small fishing boat, not to mention whatever valuables and equipment might be on board.

Some part of her wondered if her luck was turning around. If she was finally being blessed with some measure of good luck. This was a feeling reinforced by the welcome sight of the safe face in the captain's personal office. No doubt it would contain some funds of some sort, not to mention valuable information on whatever fringe group could afford to field a ship of this size.

Before she sold this ship, she could even use it as a base of operations in order to salvage the gold. Not even the local military would dare to ask too many questions of a ship this size, let alone whatever their foes could hope to get back in these waters in time to stop her and her two comrades.

Then she heard the ominous sound of metal screaming as it was torn apart. Almost like the ship itself was coming apart.

But no. Those two little bastards had to realize the value of the ship they'd captured, right? They couldn't possibly be dumb enough to sink this valuable ship, could they?

She felt like crying.

Of course they could. Those two assholes were, the both of them, ignorant to a fault. Not dumb. Neither of them could be accused of that. The level at which they fought with nothing but their fists was proof of their intelligence. They just didn't know anything about anything.

And it had just cost Eda millions of dollars, if the rush of water below deck was any indication.

She could have screamed. She could have cried. But she knew she didn't dare trust even Revy and Dutch with the score she'd had. It had been too big. Anybody but those two, and this venture would have turned into a bloodbath of a clusterfuck long before this point.

Still.

That didn't mean she couldn't take her anger out on the two little shits.

oOo

Ranma was very, very thankful that the waters near this area of the world were warm enough not to trigger the curse he found himself under. Not that being a woman would have impeded him, per se, but it would have been an unwelcome distraction from escaping the lower decks to the surface, where they could escape the now-rapidly sinking ship.

They just reached the hallway level with the deck when an angry blond poked her head out of one of the cabins.

"What the hell did you two do?" Eda demanded, a scowl dominating her features. Faced with the wrath of a woman, Ranma decided to to the responsible, mature thing.

"Ryouga did it!" The pigtailed boy yelled, pointing at his cohort.

"I'll send you to hell, Ranma! Sinking the ship was your idea!" Ryouga counter-accused, leveling a punch at his comrade. Ranma ducked the attack, allowing the Lost Boy's right fist to cruise past his shoulder as his left leg shot out, pinning the bandana-clad youth to the wall with a clang. Ryouga raised his other arm to smash down on the offending limb.

"Guys, that's enough!" The blond girl interrupted, grabbing them both by the arms. Ranma hesitated, refusing to continue his friendly disagreement with Ryouga with the nun in such close proximity. The brown-eyed boy apparently agreed, merely flicking his eyes down to the foot pressing him against the wall.

"So, what's up?" Ranma asked, his leg leaving Ryouga's torso. While prepared for Eda dragging his face close, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the position.

"You two idiots have sunk a ship worth more than our score," Eda hissed. Ranma would have wiped the bit of spittle off of his cheek if he wasn't sure the gesture would get him shot. Not that he thought that she could hit him, but still... The principal applied.

They should be working together.

"Why does it matter? We still have millions on the boat," Ryouga mentioned. Ranma thought that perhaps, in one of the few, rare times in their rivalry, his counterpart was trying to help. Judging by the way Eda's eyes went... _feral_, he judged that the interjection had not exactly helped.

"Our gold is gone! It sank!" The blond woman snarled, and Ranma felt a punch in his gut harder than any he'd ever felt. Only his glance at Ryouga's slumped form confirmed that no, the Lost Boy hadn't done violence to him for the news.

It wasn't just money.

It was their **cure.**

"How can it be gone? We had it in our hands. We had it on the boat!" The Hibiki protested, laughing a bit. Ranma noted that the water flooding the ship was starting to touch their feet now.

"The fucking boat sank! Right before you left to fight these assholes, one of the shells landed close enough to split our hull and kill our engine! This sinking boat we're on sunk our god-damned gold to the bottom of the ocean!" Eda yelled. She grabbed Ranma and bodily dragged him into one of the ship's quarters, one far nicer than any of the ones he'd poked his head into while he and Ryouga were making their way downstairs.

The blond dragged the pigtailed boy to a safe set in a wall.

"This is our profit. Rip it out of the fucking wall before we drown!" Ranma hesitated, but Ryouga did not. The bandana-clad youth ripped the metal box out of the wall, frowning at the clumps of the steel wall clinging to the rods extruding from the safe.

"Huh. You guys can actually do that. Duly noted," Eda admitted, her voice filled with a little bit of awe. Ranma glanced at Ryouga, who shrugged in response. Eda was lost in her awe just long enough for water to touch their shoes before snapping into action. "Are you two idiots trying to get us drowned? Let's get the hell out of here!"

Both young men chose to ignore that in favour of evacuating the rapidly flooding cabin. Ryouga was pulled up short for a moment, the rods sticking out of the safe too large to pass through the door, before he finally just ripped it through. Turning to walk down the hall, he discovered that the rods were also too wide to pass through the hallway.

With a resigned sigh and the feel of the steel deck buckling beneath his feet, with the water slowly rising, Ryouga dragged the safe, and a large gash along each wall, along with him as he followed his two companions to the top deck of the battleship.

As the ship sank behind them, Ranma considered the safe in front of him. Ryouga was propelling them towards Roanapur, his tireless arms paddling them ever forward. The pigtailed boy had offered to take over once his partner got tired, and both had chuckled a bit at the joke. And despite the massive hit to their profits, the blue-eyed youth noted that even Eda was smiling a bit as they made their way back to their current port of call.

oOo

Author's Notes:

So... I've still got an epilogue of sorts to write for this arc. Then I'm delving into a more serious arc. However, my author's notes next chapter will be a little longer next chapter. I'm going to discuss just why, writing-wise, it took me a year and a half to finish this arc off. I mean damn... I wrote everything up until three chapters ago in like a five-month span.

Anyway, catch you folks next chapter. Expect it soon, because I'm back in the game!


	33. A Weekend With Eda 9

Forcibly United

A Weekend With Eda: Chapter 9

oOo

Ranma lounged indolently in the sun, leaning back in the sturdy metal chair of the cafe, his eyes closed as he drifted into and out of a light nap. Hanging loosely from his hand, but not quite dropping, his Heireken tallboy dripped condensation onto the patio beneath. Across from him, Ryouga nursed a rum and coke as he wrote a letter.

Both boys were a study of disinterest in the conversation taking place two tables away. At it, Eda was arguing with a tall Vietnamese woman, her short hair dyed an electric purple which matched her tank top. One long, jean-covered leg lay over the other as she held up her chin with one upturned hand.

"Five thousand? That price is ridiculous, Mai! We both know I can get the safe opened far cheaper than that!" Eda protested, across the table from a woman, presumably Mai, who was smiling lazily at the nun.

The safe in question, still sporting the rods meant to keep it from being ripped out of the steel wall it had been set in as well as a portion of the wall itself, lay in the back of an old Toyota pickup, sagging dangerously towards the back under the weight.

"By amateurs and idiots, yes?" Mai asked, grinning a bit. She spread her hands helplessly. "Eda, dear, don't be so stingy! Or so foolish as to think I don't know why you came to me! We both know that the safe may have been damaged by the... admittedly impressive way it was removed from the location it was at previously. Opening that is no job for an amateur."

"Those two guys over there did it. Hell, if I asked them to rip off the damned door they can probably do it," the blond girl countered, crossing her arms. She leaned forward a bit, peering at Mai over the top of her sunglasses. "I'm coming to you because I'd prefer to avoid the potential of damaging the safe, but for all I know that thing is packed with gold or something else that can't really be damaged. I might consider it worth the risk if you're coming to me with a price like that."

"I'll admit that the dubious nature of the safe and the contents within may make my services seem overpriced," the purple-tressed Vietnamese woman admitted, sipping her beer lightly before continuing. "I'll admit that perhaps, I can lower the price of my services to a mere four thousand in this rare case."

"Four thousand? Please. Ryouga, be a dear and bring me the safe, please?" Eda said. Ryouga raised an eyebrow, still in the middle of writing his letter.

"Make Ranma do it. I'm not finished with this letter," Ryouga grunted. Glancing at Eda proved to be his undoing. The woman was pouting slightly, and her eyebrows were also raised in slight consternation. Her sunglasses were lowered just enough so that the baby-blue of her eyes practically glistening with tears, and they were pleading with him to simply do as he was asked.

Unhelpfully, Ranma chuckled and took a drink of his beer, entirely uninterested in the exchange.

"Fine!" Ryouga growled, standing. He then glanced over to Ranma, spacing out the distance to the truck. He hurried over to pick the safe up with a grin. His pigtailed compatriot had time to glance in Ryouga's direction with idle curiosity before he realized the Lost Boy's intent.

"You bastaAAAUGH!" The Saotome heir screamed as Ryouga scythed his bracer-clad arm up and out, sending his lazy companion up and over his head, keeping a perfectly circular arc as he passed thirty feet above Ryouga's head before kissing the asphalt a few feet away from the opposite curb. The pigtailed boy found himself dodging traffic as Ryouga walked the safe over to where the two women were seated in the cafe.

Mai merely raised one eyebrow at the feat of strength.

"As you can see, the safe shows no real sign of damage. Yet," Eda admitted, tossing her hair and glancing at the safe. She tapped her jaw idly as she looked at the metal box. "I'm fairly certain that if Ryouga here is real careful, and he can be delicate with those big hands of his," this drew a crimson blush from the young man, who Eda favoured with a grin before continuing, "Well, he could probably take this door off without damaging anything inside at all. However, for twenty-five hundred, I could see myself spending the extra money to make sure I don't have to worry about Ryouga-baby here damaging anything inside."

"A deal, yes?" Mai finally ventured, standing and moving over to the safe. She tapped it with one knuckle thoughtfully, her lips pursed. "I will open it for twenty-five hundred. That cash you pay me now. However, if the safe holds something that would have been damaged if this strong man had ripped the door off, the price goes up and you pay me another thousand."

"Two thousand now. An additional fifteen-hundred if the goods could have been damaged," the blond nun countered after a moment, one golden eyebrow raising. "If you want to negotiate terms, they're going to be in my favour."

"Two thousand now," the dark-haired Vietnamese woman agreed, sticking her hand out. Still clasping Eda's hand, she added with a smile, "Of course, you'll have to deliver the safe to my workshop. Part of the deal."

"As long as you don't mind him hanging around to watch you open the safe," Eda replied bluntly. "I wouldn't want you to have an attack of stupidity while opening the safe. Whatever is in there is mine. I'm going to see to it that it stays mine."

Watching Ryouga pick up the safe and heft it onto the truck without any visible sign of strain, Mai nodded, whistling before adding, "I'm happy to have your insurance nearby. Keeps things simple for everybody."

The deal done, Eda drove the Japanese duo and the safe to Mai's workshop, promising to return as soon as she'd dealt with the irate owner of the boat she'd rented at the outset of their trip.

oOo

It had been two hours. Ranma was sipping his third tallboy of Heireken, and Ryouga was nursing his second. The pair were sitting at a folding table Mai had provided, playing a game of poker. Neither boy was especially good at it. Ranma couldn't bluff to save his life, but this was offset by Ryouga's consistently poor luck.

Not that they were wagering much to begin with. Despite two hours of gambling, neither boy had needed to add another hundred dollars to the pot to get more chips.

Ranma sipped the beer, wincing a bit. He caught Ryouga's nod, and glanced over at Mai, still working on the safe. The purple-haired woman had cast more than a few confused glances their way since they'd moved past their first drinks, but otherwise she'd given no other sign that things were abnormal.

"You know, I wonder how she poisoned these. I mean, I've taken a pretty good look at the cans. I can't see any sign of tampering whatsoever," Ranma noted, pushing two cards towards Ryouga. He accepted two new cards, grinning a bit and giving away his hand.

"The sleeping pills give it a bit of extra bite," Ryouga admitted to his comrade with a grin. He rolled his neck a bit, before draining his drink. "It's actually making me relax a bit."

Both boys chuckled. While they'd been drugged in the past, it took a concentrated amount to down either of them. Binge drinking of straight alcohol could fell them nearly as quickly as a normal person. Even sleeping pills or chemicals designed to create paralysis could effect them... In proper dosage.

The minor amount Mai had added to the drinks, no doubt designed to subtly lull clients into a drunken sleep while they waited for her to crack a safe, was no match for either boy's metabolism. Instead of rendering the duo unconscious, it had simply instilled a warm feeling of relaxation in the pair.

"You want another?" Ryouga asked, standing and crushing the empty in his hand.

"I'm good. We're on the job right now," the pigtailed boy noted, grinning a bit. He gestured with one hand. "We're probably going to have to dodge gunfire in a little while. I've still got some left, so I'll just pace myself."

"Your call," Ryouga noted, making his way over to the bar fridge and pulling out one more can.

Their poker game continued almost until Ranma and Ryouga were on the verge of finishing their third drinks when Eda arrived. Noting that Mai was still deep in her work on the safe, the pair waved the blond nun over to their table.

She sat down, before her nose curled and her eyes narrowed as she glared at the two near-empty cans in front of each boy. She grabbed Ryouga's drink and raised it to her face before her arm shot out full extension from her and she quietly coughed.

"These beers _smell_ like date-rape. Is there any reason you two are drinking them?" Eda demanded, her voice low so it wouldn't carry.

"We're curious to see if she's going to try anything if it doesn't work," Ranma admitted with a grin. Ryouga backed it up with a chuckle, opting not to add anything to his blue-eyed partner's comment. Eda took another sniff of the beer, wincing.

"We're getting back the two thousand from her. At least," the blond teenager noted darkly. She patted the semi-automatic at her hip. Stroking it idly, she pouted. "We've got to wait for her to finish cracking that safe and here I am with nothing to drink."

Almost as if from nowhere, a beer appeared in front of her. Blue eyes framed with blond met blue eyes framed in black, and Eda smirked.

"Thanks, Ranma. I'm flattered, but if I have sex with you... Well, I think I'd like to remember it. You don't need to slip me anything to... slip me anything," Eda announced with a purr. Ryouga choked and his hand reached up to clasp his strangely-bleeding nose as Ranma snorted.

"Yeah, because that wouldn't cause me more trouble," the pigtailed youth replied, rolling his eyes. He gestured to the beer. "That's one of the ones I grabbed at the store earlier. No need to worry about waking up in bed with a guy and a hangover you can't explain."

Eda paused for effect, waiting for Ranma to glance over at her.

"Who said I wanted you to be a guy for it?" The blond asked, innocence that wasn't dripping from her voice. Ryouga coughed and looked on the verge of passing out, and even Ranma now sported a fairly crimson blush. "So what's the plan, then?"

"Pretend to pass out in a little while since she seems to be killing time, and then spring the ambush on her?" Ryouga suggested quietly, shrugging in apathy.

"A beer sounds good to me, Ryouga!" Eda announced loudly, winking at the boy. He got up and grabbed a trio of the tainted beers, setting them down on the table. Even looking for it, the Lost Boy very nearly didn't catch Ranma switching them for the ones in his bag. "Cheers to a job well done!"

The trio then began drinking their beers. Minutes later, after finishing his pint, Ranma was the first to 'fall', pitching forward with a moan. Moments later, Ryouga slumped in his seat with a groan, knocking his drink over as he did.

"Hey, what?" Eda slurred, enjoying the satisfied look on Mai's face as she bought the blond Nun's act. Eda turned sluggishly to her beer and then back to Mai, getting up and 'stumbling' to the ground a few steps into a run. She glanced up, pretending to be trying to scream "Mai, you!" before the 'drugs' in her beer forced her eyes to close and her head drooped.

oOo

"Fools," Mai chuckled to herself, pulling open the safe. She glanced at the contents, her lips forming a silent 'O' as she looked within the safe. "Oh, I can't let you suckers live after this. I think I'm going to be calling Sawyer to deal with you idiots."

The click of a gun being cocked caused a spike of fear not unlike getting stabbed as Mai whirled her head to find Eda's nine-millimeter pointed directly at her forehead.

"Who's Sawyer?" Mai turned her head to note that the pigtailed boy was taking a look into the safe, whistling a bit at the contents. He added, "Not quite two million, Eda, but I think even with the small size of our cut, Ryouga and I are going to be quite happy with this venture."

Mai's eyes reversed direction, finding the other idiot peering into the safe from the opposite side. He grunted his agreement, granite-hard eyes boring into Mai's own when she met them.

"One of those could have knocked a fucking bear out! How the hell did you guys fake drinking four each? I was watching the whole damned time!" Mai choked out, shaking.

"Whatever it is, it actually gave the drinks a nice kick, huh?" The pigtailed one, Ranma, asked the other Japanese boy.

"It'd be a shame if she missed out on the nice flavour," Ryouga agreed, nodding darkly.

Mai's pleading eyes found Eda's, who nodded in sympathy.

"Oh, don't worry. We're not going to kill you," Eda informed the safe cracker, running a finger along one side of the Vietnamese woman's quivering jaw. "We're just going to force-feed you your own brew. Then I think we'll drop you down by the bars in the harbour. I'm sure some nice sailor on shore leave will take proper care of a helpless, attractive woman such as yourself."

Strong hands forced her jaw open and powerful fingers pinched her nose shut. Mai was forced to drink or drown, and given the option, the woman chugged down the beer with desperation. Moments later, with hands clamped firmly over her mouth to prevent her from spewing the vile liquid up, the last sight she saw as consciousness left her was the three leering faces of people she'd been crowing about killing just minutes before, and no matter how hard she fought to cling to wakefulness, the drugs in her system overwhelmed her.

When she awoke, the sun was down. Judging by the pitch darkness outside the window, it had been for some time. The floor of her shop was a bone-deep relief after the dark promises which had been made as she fell into her drug-induced slumber, but sitting up proved that her relief was short-lived.

Every tool, every item of value had been stripped from her shop. All that remained was the card table and the fold-up chairs which surrounded it, and upon it the Vietnamese woman found a note.

"Next time, we won't play nice. Eda," Mai read, and the violet-tressed woman looked around her desolate shop and shuddered.

Those three were people she wouldn't dare cross again.

Ever.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Alright, so... Why did this take so long? The answer is simple: I really sort of wrote myself into a corner with this arc. Making Rip Van Winkle a joke character killed off any real way I had of separating Eda and the boys from their gold without some serious thought, for one. For two... up until then, I'd been hammering away at this story at an unspeakably fast pace (for me) for months on end. Even without my new job (which kicks ass) getting in the way of my free time, the story was feeling more and more like work to me.

So between a general lack of time and a frustrating wall where my inspiration usually comes from when I could find time to write, any work I did do was crap. Not to mention that I'm hammering this thing out on a laptop at present, and by god do I hate writing on laptops. Inevitably, as it always is, finishing this was simply a case of pushing through the writer's block by sheer blunt force and endlessly culled false starts.

Happily, the next arc should be a little more interesting and should also contain a lot more character development than the ones thus far. Yes, it's the one you've all been waiting for: Ranma and Ryouga are _going back home_. Ranma is, anyway. Ryouga couldn't find home with a map and a compass.


	34. Yubitsume Fugitives 1

Forcibly United

Yubitsume Fugitives: Chapter 1

**Author's Quick Note: **_**No, **you haven't missed an arc or anything, presuming you just finished reading the _A Weekend With Eda _story arc. This story arc begins _in media res_, which is why you might think that. I wanted to clear that up before I got reviews about it._

oOo

"Well, fuck," Ranma's voice muttered from the left. From where he was seated, Rokuro Okajima agreed fully and completely with the young man's statement. In fact, had he not been inclined not to call attention to himself and his two contractors, he would have continued that line of thought considerably before stopping.

Rock stared, stone-faced, at the TV screen as he, Ranma, and Ryouga sat in a smokey bar in downtown Tokyo, currently bustling with dozens of salarymen long since finished work and well on their way to being sloshed. On the screen a frozen, slightly grainy black and white image from a security camera showed a clear image of the trio from just a few hours ago. They'd gone to meet the Yakuza contact immediately after leaving Tokyo International and things had taken precisely sixty seconds to go to hell once Rock and his hired bodyguards had entered the room.

He ignored the news anchor describing the trio as wanted criminals to be avoided at all costs as he considered the ramifications of the meeting. Every one of the heads he'd been about to meet from the two major families pushing in on Balalaika's Tokyo interests had been there. Most of them were now dead.

As far as his mission was concerned, that made this trip a wildly successful venture. The head of Hotel Moscow would no doubt be thrilled by the way the top-level leadership of both of her competitor's families had been so thoroughly eviscerated. Now instead of negotiating a cease-fire and attempting to retain a foothold until the right officials could be bribed to allow Balalaika's men back into the country, all Rock had to do was give his boss a status update and await her orders.

"This is all your fault, Ranma," Ryouga muttered, slinging back a saucer of warm sake. For once, he was not wearing the rather noticeable bandana he habitually wore, and sunglasses served to further obscure his features from the ones on the screen.

The pigtailed boy, nursing a beer, had been forced to borrow clothing from Ryouga and ditch his. The Chinese tangs he favoured would have immediately called unwanted attention to the trio, and the Saotome heir had further obscured his features by untying his pigtail and brushing his hair in front of his eyes.

"I'm inclined to agree," Rock noted, sipping his drink. Of the trio, he was the one with the least to fear in regards to being identified. He lacked any of the immediately distinguishing features of his companions, and thus was able to blend seamlessly into the crowds within Tokyo. His eyes hardened as he glared at Ranma. "What the hell was that all about?"

The youth grimaced as he sipped his beer. "I blame the panda. Stupid old man." He glanced once more at the TV screen. "Fuck."

They sat in silence for a time, the news finally moving beyond the story of their recent misadventure and onto the weather. Ryouga slung back the remainder of his sake, straight from the carafe as Ranma finished his beer.

"Okay, Ranma. Spill. Just what the hell happened back there?" Rock demanded, glaring at the younger Japanese man. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Look, I don't know, okay?" Ranma admitted, shrugging his shoulders. He returned Rock's glare fiercely, using the top of the empty beer bottle to point in his direction. "I know exactly what you know, man! We walk into the place, and the chick on one side recognized me. She told her dad 'Father, that's him! That's the one we've been searching for!' and then things went to hell!"

Rock pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to force the stress away. It wasn't working.

"Why did things go to hell, then, Ranma? What the hell did you do to make her father pull a gun on you like that? More importantly, why the hell did the other family get involved in that bloodbath?" The second-in-command of Hotel Moscow demanded, scowling fiercely the cause of his current headache.

"To be fair, the other guys probably used the excuse of the head of the first family drawing their weapons to cause a shootout," Ryouga noted, gesturing to the waitress for another round for the trio. At Rock's glance, he shrugged, adding, "It's the only thing that makes sense. The two were fighting over Balalaika-san's territory. They thought they could use the distraction to spring an ambush."

"They were wrong," Rock noted with a wince.

There'd been three dozen living people in the room when he, Ranma, and Ryouga had entered. By the time his temporary bodyguards grabbed him and left that number was down to single digits and the gunfire hadn't shown any sign of stopping.

"That they were," Ryouga agreed, placing a wad of yen on the empty tray the waitress held, their drinks now in front of them. Rock noted that even with the high price of Tokyo's living expenses, the tip was far larger than it should have been.

"Listen, we need to focus," the former salaryman noted, and groaned as the cellphone in his pocket chirped. Ignoring the amused look on his companion's faces, he switched to English as he answered the phone. "Hello?"

"I need to buy you something nice, Rock," Balalaika practically purred on the other end, the man in question facepalming as his boss casually rewarded a total catastrophe. Unaware of his personal opinion on the matter, or perhaps not caring, the blond Russian continued, "I only sent you to Tokyo to buy me some time. I didn't expect you to wipe out everyone important in an hour. While I don't mind at all, I've got to ask... How did you do it?"

"Balalaika-san..." Rock groaned, rubbing a temple. He waved his free hand, fighting for the words to describe his feelings. After a moment's pause, he found nothing and just sighed. "I'm investigating the cause of our recent... Windfall of good fortune. I suspect it has more to do with the bodyguards I've hired for this trip than any actions of my own."

"Oh?" The blond teenager's voice teased, sounding curious. "Well, I suppose I can have you stay for a few days before reporting back. I did originally expect you to be gone for at least a week, after all."

"That's very kind of you," the former Lagoon Company employee noted, keeping most of his frustration out of his voice as he made the statement.

"By the way, Rock. If it truly was Chang's two boys who precipitated today's events... Tell them they've earned themselves a rather nice bonus. I do so appreciate it when low-level workers go above and beyond for me," Balalaika concluded, and the only Japanese man in Hotel Moscow had to fight the urge to do violence on his phone when the connection was closed on his employer's end.

"So what did Balalaika-san want?" Ranma asked, scratching one cheek idly as his gaze wandered around the bar.

"You guys are getting a bonus," the man being questioned responded, glaring at the cellular phone in his hands as if it had betrayed him. "Balalaika wants to give you guys more money for throwing my plans to hell and causing a massacre. I knew she was bloodthirsty, but..."

"So..." Ryouga began, tapping his finger on the table and frowning a bit. "Does this mean that Ranma's bad luck is actually working in our favour for a change?"

"Cram it, pork-butt," the pigtailed youth countered, rubbing his face. "Like you luck is any better."

"We're getting off topic," Rock informed the duo, frowning. He directed his attention back to Ranma who was now taking a pull from his beer. "We need to know why what happened, happened. Ranma, you're obviously our best bet for that one. Why the hell would a local Yakuza head have a hit out on you?"

"It wasn't a hit. Or more accurately, the original deal which I can get information on probably had nothing to do with my murder," Ranma winced, and then drained his beer in one go. The Lost Boy was now nodding in realization, leaving only the former Lagoon Company employee confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rock demanded.

"It means," Ranma began, setting his empty beer bottle at the edge of the table for the waitress to retrieve. "That I need to go see my stupid old man and figure out how I got engaged to a Yakuza princess."

oOo

"Tendou."

At Genma's interjection, Soun Tendou glanced up briefly from their Go board to look at his friend. Despite the blazing light the setting sun illuminating the pair on the porch of Soun's home, his friend looked pale.

"What is it, old friend?" Soun asked, concerned for his training partner's health. Not so concerned that he didn't notice Genma's hand sneaking towards the board, and a quick glance down toward the offending appendage caused his friend to jerk it back with a broad smile.

Things must be dire indeed for his old friend to be so far off the game they played while they were playing Go.

"I've just had a chill run down my spine. Almost as if someone were stepping on my grave," Soun's bald friend noted, scratching his jaw idly with one finger before grinning a bit. "I mean, I could understand the feeling if the boy were in town, but he's hundreds of miles away. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid?"

Soun had just enough time to nod in agreement with his old friend when Nabiki rushed into the room, her voice almost breathless.

"Daddy, why didn't you tell us that Ranma was back in town? Did you hear about the job he pulled on the Yakuza downtown?" Nabiki's question caused Genma's face to go absolutely white, and Soun nervously tugged the collar of his gi as his middle daughter continued, "The police are looking for him, Ryouga, and another guy right now! Apparently over thirty people, all high-ranking members of their family, are dead and it's those three who are responsible!"

The Tendo patriarch casually excused his sanity from the proceedings as he processed exactly what his daughter has said. More importantly, he chose not to associate the tone of regret in his middle daughter's voice with the fairly recent memory of her brief usurpation and following succession of the Tendo half of the Tendo-Saotome marriage pact.

Best not to think of those things. That way lay madness.

"Perhaps it would be best if I leave," the Saotome clan head noted, standing abruptly. He drained his beer in one smooth motion and had taken a single step off the porch when all three residents heard the front gate slam open.

"**Pops!" **

Genma winced, and looked set to flee regardless.

"You know he'd probably catch you anyway," Soun noted solemnly, nodding once. "Better to take your lumps now and forge ahead. Why, by the time you're done he might not even be that mad!"

Judging by the look on his friend's face, Genma thoroughly disagreed with that assessment.

oOo

Author's Notes:

Yubitsume is the act of cutting off your little finger in apology to a superior, generally within the Yakuza. Since this arc is, rather obviously, going to deal with the Yakuza a bit (and specifically, Yakuza failing to capture a certain trio), I picked Yubitsume Fugitives because it sounds cool.

I struggled with how to write this arc. Originally I was going to have Ranma and Ryouga head back to the Tendo dojo first, then help Rock. Yet no matter how often I tried to write and rewrite the first chapter, it just didn't want to come out right. It wasn't until I went in this direction that things clicked and went smoothly.


End file.
